Shatter (The Children of Man)

by Elizabeth C. Mock

  "Caleb, she's got a Nikelan following her around." Kade brushed off Caleb's suspicions. "You're right when you said that there's something she has to do. I don't know what it is yet, but I intend on seeing this through. Your sister's fiery, I know that, and deadly when the need arises, but she isn't exactly levelheaded when it comes to her own safety. I'm not leaving her unprotected."

  Kade failed to mention his other reasons. Reasons which might incite Caleb’s over-protective meddling. Caleb didn’t need to know that he could feel Faela’s emotions as though they were his own and at times could hear her inner thoughts like a whisper. Nor did he need to know that at the moment, pangs of bitterness and shame, her constant companions, plagued her. Nor did he need to know that Kade had to keenly subdue the urge to storm into the kitchen to eliminate whatever roused those feelings.

  Jair swung the kitchen door opened and poked his head out. "Dinner's coming soon."

  "Excellent," Haley exclaimed from the floor, lyre in hand. "Thought me stomach might strangle me guts soon."

  Caleb gave a sharp laugh at that before turning back to Kade. "See that you don't."

  Kade lay on his back as the straw poked him through the mattress. His head resting in the crook of his arm, he stared at the slanted ceiling of the room. He had gotten stuck sharing a room with Jair who had passed out as soon as his body hit the mattress and had snored vigorously for the last hour. With sleep kept far from his grasp, Jair's snoring left Kade alone with his thoughts. So much had happened in the past weeks. So much that he didn't want to think about. But at night in the place between wakefulness and sleep, the thoughts came unbidden.

  Though he was glad to see Sheridan, the way she looked at him when she thought he was being high-handed was identical to the look that Nessa used to give him. Their brows wrinkled and the left corner of their mouths turned up in the same way. He loved her as he loved Sheridan, like a little sister. He had known her just as long, though not nearly as well. Gossip had always circulated in the Noble Houses as to which he would make an offer to, Sheridan or Nessa.

  He cared for them both, but he would never trap Sheridan like that. Her family would expect her to start producing heirs immediately and she would be pressured into renouncing her ties to the Orders. Being a member of the Orders was a part of Sheridan’s identity and he would never take that from her.

  Nessa’s parents, however, had been trying to marry her off since she was sixteen. He closed his eyes and he saw her standing on the balcony overlooking the gardens in Montdell keep. Her hair shone like threads of golden silk in the sun as she leaned on the banister and glanced over her shoulder to laugh at him.

  He opened his eyes to banish the image. He had succeeded in keeping her out of his thoughts by concentrating on getting justice for Gareth’s crimes. But now that the deed was done, nothing kept the thoughts away. When he closed his eyes again, he saw her lying on the floor of that cellar. Blood dripped from her mouth as he rolled her onto her side, her eyes blurred with pain. Nessa had died alone and it was his fault.

  Jair inhaled noisily like something had gotten caught in the back of his throat. Covering his ears with his hands, Kade swore and lurched over the side of the bed. Without bothering to put on any shoes, Kade slid on his trousers and left the room.

  He descended the stairs and left the tavern without a sound. As Kade wandered the streets of Moshurst, the moonlight fell in long, bright strips. Save for the wind, silence filled the empty streets. It would take time for this place to heal from what had happened.

  It was a year ago, on a night much like this, when Nessa had come to him her face streaked with tears. Maybe if he had stopped himself from meddling, she would still be alive. Maybe if he hadn’t tried to rescue her, she would still be alive.

  Kade looked up to discover that his feet had brought him to the headwaters of the river. His mouth twitched in a half smile. "Now isn't that odd," he told the water.

  His thoughts turned from his guilt over Nessa's death to Faela's affinity for water. Stretching his arms over his head, Kade lowered himself to the grass and watched the river tumbling away from him. He shook his head comparing Nessa's vibrant optimism to the melancholy that shadowed Faela's every move.

  Faela, a woman who, by all accounts, he should have returned to Finalaran the moment he knew she was Gray. Though to be fair, during that moment, he had been preoccupied by a collapsed lung. Since that time, however, his understanding of justice had begun to shift. Of one thing he was confident. Even if Tomas were not as Caleb claimed, he would not have turned Faela over for judgment. This fact troubled him and made him question what that said about his character.

  He had told Caleb that he would not leave Faela unprotected and he meant every word, but where he belonged in this grand scheme nagged at his mind. Mireya had already found her three Grays from the prophecy. Even Sheridan and Eve had a purpose and the Scion of the Nikelan's herself had given Caleb and Talise a mission to fulfill. Everyone fit into a larger plan, everyone except for him.

  If Eve tried to force him to leave, he knew he would fight to stay. Though he couldn't even explain to himself why. He had no doubts that Dathien could protect Faela, but his first responsibility was Mireya’s safety. Jair would try, but he seemed to have little experience and even less training. While Sheridan had combat experience, it was as a healer, not a fighter. Despite that, she did have good instincts and even better training. He could entrust Faela to Sheridan, if he were certain of her loyalty, but she remained ambivalent toward the Grays. With Caleb's departure, Kade couldn’t deny that he was the best chance of getting Faela to Kelso and the Shrine.

  Kade, however, could choose to help. He didn’t have to be mentioned in some prophecy to make the decision to aid them. He had sworn his life to uphold the laws of the Light. If a Nikelan, the voice of the Light, said that this woman needed to find the Shrine of Shattering, then it would contradict his own vows to abandon her now.

  Kade picked up a pebble and tossed it in the air. Catching the pebble one-handed, he laughed. "My, I am good at convincing myself that there are good and legitimate reasons for my own selfish desires."

  Even before Oakdarrow, nearness to Faela had reduced the ache in his chest. An ache he knew came more from losing Nessa than from his injury. Since Oakdarrow, since the link, he could no more willingly leave Faela than he could willingly cut off his own arm. It was time to stop trying to delude himself into thinking his primary motivation came from anywhere else.

  His thoughts returned to Jair and Haley, the other two from the prophecy. He had always known something more lurked beneath Jair's awkward and affable surface, but he had not imagined the raw power that Jair possessed. Haley, the self-proclaimed minstrel, however, was more than he appeared. Jair had broken the most basic taboo of the Orders in altering the Balance and as much as he had a hard time believing it, Faela was a kin-slayer. Both of these were grave crimes. Knowing this, Kade could not fathom what a Lusican minstrel could have done to become a Gray. Haley’s story contained some gaping holes that stirred Kade’s paranoia.

  The sound of a twig cracking alerted Kade to someone’s approach. His hand went for the knife that wasn't there as he turned to face the noise. Eve stood hands empty in front of her.

  "Jair's snoring wake you up too?" Kade asked his face relaxing.

  She shook her head and walked up to the water's edge. "No. The binding woke me when you left the tavern."

  Kade nodded. "Sorry, didn't mean to wake you. I didn't intend to walk this far. I just found myself here."

  "Just like you found yourself in the cellar?"

  Kade's gaze darkened. "No, I tracked Gareth there."

  "So, you claim."

  Kade looked down at his hands, callused from consistent practice and use of his weapons. "I'm sorry, Eve. I loved Nessa like a sister. I never wanted any harm to come to her."

  Her back muscles spasmed at his words, but she continued to look at the running water. "Like a sister? Then why were you m
arrying her?"

  "To save her."

  "Well, you certainly did a stellar job of that," Eve said her voice cruel and cold.

  "Eve, you were born in a Noble House." Kade's voice was quiet. "You know the expectations your Uncle had for her."

  She said nothing, but wrapped her arms around her stomach.

  "She was going to be married for money to a man widowed twice already. She came to me in tears the night she found out. She said she'd rather marry someone she knew would treat her well, someone who cared about her. So, I offered."

  Her mouth slightly agape, Eve turned her face toward him. "You made her an offer out of pity?"

  "No," Kade said his gaze resolute. "Compassion and affection."

  "Nessa deserved more than compassion." She bit off her words.

  "You're right, she did," Kade admitted. "But it's what she wanted and I was happy to give it to her."

  Eve looked at the moon its reflection blurred and broken in the running water. "Why did you run?"

  Kade drew in a breath and exhaled with a sigh. "I had to ensure the information I had gathered on the Brethren got to Finalaran."

  "If that's true," she said giving his story the benefit of the doubt, "then why did you head southeast instead of southwest toward Finalaran immediately?"

  "I didn't know who Gareth had been talking to. I didn't trust him not to have a set up to implicate me in Nessa's death."

  "You implicated yourself just fine without any help from Gareth," Eve interrupted.

  Kade rose to his feet without a word and turned to go back to the inn. His feet were wet from the grass, causing the dirt on the roads to cake the bottom of his feet.

  I really should have put my boots on, he thought to himself concentrating his irritation at the dirt rather than Eve.

  "Kade, wait. You didn't answer my question," she called after him.

  Without turning, Kade said, "You've already made up your mind. Find another target, Eve. I'm done for tonight."

  As he strode through the canyons of the abandoned streets, the wind swept down them with a biting chill. Wearing only trousers, he shivered in the cold, but felt no urge to slow down, though he knew Eve followed. He just wanted to wash the dirt from his feet and try to get some sleep. Finding the water pump outside the kitchens, he scrubbed the filth off of his feet in the spurting spray.

  When he was done, he looked up and Eve stood holding a rag, which she tossed to him. He caught it and dried his feet to keep from repeating the incident.

  "My thanks," Kade told her. When he finished, he gave her back the rag.

  Eve's expression softened. "Let's try this again when I haven't just woken, okay?"

  Kade nodded. "Deal. Now let's see if I can manage to sleep with the growling coming from Jair.”

  She actually smiled at this. "I could hear it all the way down the hall."

  Kade led Eve back into the inn, his hand on her back. Cloaked in the shadows of the stairs, Lucien watched, his fists clenched and his eyes sparking golden.

  Caleb and Talise had left for Kilrood before the sun had fully crested the horizon that morning. Regardless of the route they chose, whether traveling by train back down to the Bramm or riding east to Lanvirdis to catch a ship down the coast, they had a long journey ahead of them. Faela's heart fluttered thinking about Caleb's warning. She had known that Nikolais had sent bounty hunters after her, but she had tried to convince herself that his main concern wouldn't be Sammi. She knew it had been a foolish hope, but that didn't stop her from clinging to it.

  The sun sat just above the line of the horizon now. It was time. Faela closed her eyes as she felt the rhythm of her blood pulsing inside her. Harnessing that rhythm, Faela wove a note around that anchor and reached. She did not have far to reach. The pulse she sought, Gresham's signature, was less than a day's walk away. Just as she had predicted, he had gone to Kelso.

  Before the sun set on this day, she would meet the man she had spent the last several months tracking. At times it felt like chasing a shadow, but now she would have proof that forgiveness was possible.

  Releasing the vial around her neck, she opened her eyes and smiled. "He's still in Kelso."

  "You mean, we'll catch up with him today?" Jair asked strapping on his pack, his hair still ruffled from recent sleep.

  I believe we will," Faela answered her voice somewhat unsure. Whether they would intercept him today did not cause the wavering in her voice, the prospect of facing him did.

  Misinterpreting her hesitance, Jair reassured her. "We will, Faela."

  Flashing him an appreciative smile, Faela turned to the rest of the party standing in front of the inn. Their packs filled, they waited for her to begin their hike. Within an hour of Caleb and Talise's exit, the rest of the party prepared to depart.

  "He's still in Kelso. Everyone ready?" she asked of the group and was rewarded with a series of affirmative responses. Less than a month ago, she had thought she would face Gresham alone. Looking around at the large group chatting and yawning as they made their way out of the skeletal remains of Moshurst, Faela shook her head in disbelief.

  “Hurry it up, Faela,” Kade commanded with a smirk as he walked down the street backward. “We got people to meet.”

  *****

  Chapter Seventeen

  Situated at the crossroads between the northern coastal cities of Nabos and the railways that ran from Montdell to Lanvirdis, Kelso more closely resembled a small city, than a town. Many of the towns of Nabos during the war had erected walls to protect them from invasion and Kelso was no exception. Just as Faela predicted, they made it to Kelso before nightfall. Spreading like spilled ink as the sun set, the waning light stained the bottoms of the clouds with oranges and purples.

  To keep out the cold wind, Faela had draped a wide tan scarf around her head and neck. It was nice to have a legitimate excuse to hide her face for once. This close to Gresham, to answers, she refused to leave anything to chance.

  Approaching the gate, Eve took the lead. "Let me handle this.”

  Despite Faela’s misgivings about Eve, she had to admit that a Daniyelan who wasn't a known fugitive had better odds of slipping them into the city unnoticed, so she swallowed back a retort and let the Daniyelan proceed.

  "Hail and well met, gentlemen," she called, her voice inviting and relaxed, "we've been on the road all day and would love to wash the dirt from our throats with a nice pint. Could you direct us to the nearest tavern?"

  Eve's conversational strategy seemed to work. One of the guards stabbed at the other with his elbow and whispered something, which caused the taller of the two to laugh.

  The shorter returned Eve's easy smile and said, "Best place in town is the Tin Whistle, just three blocks past the livestock markets. You can't miss it. Best summer wheat ale you'll find anywhere these days."

  Eve clasped the guard’s forearm with a grin. "My thanks, friend."

  When the man caught the cut of her jacket under her overcoat, his eyes widened. "Sister," he stammered. "Will you be wanting the magistrate?"

  Eve shook her head, her stance still relaxed and open. "I'm not here on business, Sergeant. I'm just accompanying some friends."

  The guard's posture relaxed somewhat, but still remained hesitant as he caught sight of Sheridan. "You'll not be wanting to stay at the Tin Whistle, m'lady. It's not a place for the likes of you and your friends."

  "If it's good enough for you to recommend, then it's good enough for me and mine," Eve insisted winking at the guard.

  "If you say so, m'lady," the guard relented uneasily, but stepped out of her way to allow them to pass.

  "I do, and thank you, Sergeant..." She paused waiting for him to supply his name.

  "Carver, m'lady. Silas Carver."

  "Sergeant Carver." She smiled her face brightening.

  Faela had never noticed how pleasant her angular features looked when she smiled. Her short hair made her appear sharper and harsher than her twin, but when she smiled her features
looked refined, even delicate. "You've been a great help."

  Sergeant Carver bowed clumsily, while his comrade stood in dumbfounded silence.

  Eve retrieved Kimiko's reins from Sheridan and the party entered through a stone archway into Kelso's market. With the sun setting, vendors and traders without permanent storefronts were closing up their carts and booths for the evening. Those wealthy enough to afford permanent shops reached to light the oil lamps in their windows and outside their doors. The light of the setting sun mingled with the light of the lamps in long jumping shadows.

  Unlike the town they had just spent the night in, Kelso was wealthy enough to boast cobblestone streets instead of packed dirt and gravel. Faela had heard stories about crossroads towns like Kelso, but had never been to one. Any time her father had taken her with him on a trip, it had been by river and Kelso was a day's walk from the nearest waterway and she had never traveled by train.

  With a squeal of delight, Mireya skipped over to an herb vendor where a young boy carefully carried baskets, too big for him to manage easily, from the street to pack them onto the back of their cart that had displayed their wares. The group had stopped, waiting for Mireya to return, when Faela felt a physical tugging.

  At the sensation, she pushed back the edge of her scarf to increase her field of vision. When she did, she saw both Kade and Jair staring at her. The surprise in Jair's eyes and the suspicion in Kade's told her that they had felt it too.

  "What was that?" Jair asked her.

  "What was what?" Sheridan craned her neck to look back at them from the cart.

  "I can't be sure," Faela said each word slowly, "but you felt it coming from the east, right?" She directed her question to Kade.

  Kade nodded his agreement.

  "Hey," Sheridan interrupted. "What's going on?"

  "I think my tracer spell is telling me where to find Gresham," she explained. Though the spell would indicate the target’s general direction, once in close proximity to the target, it should have dissipated entirely. Yet, as she continued to stand there, the insistent tugging returned again, stronger this time.