“Oh, Russell. I was afraid my negative thoughts about the pregnancy might have caused the bleeding. That I’d—”
He put a finger to her lips. “Hush. You’re putting too much pressure on yourself. I’m sure you’re not the first woman who’s been surprised and overwhelmed to discover she was pregnant. Give yourself a break.”
“I’ll consider it.” Exhaustion hit her then, and she sagged into Russell’s arms. She longed to be safely home, but they still had a twenty-minute drive.
“Stay here. I’ll drive the car up.”
She stood in the pool of light that had earlier illuminated her husband and waited. All was quiet and still. At this moment, at least, there were no emergencies in the sleeping city.
Russell pulled the car up to the curb, then jumped out to help her into the passenger side. Where did he find his energy? He’d been through a lot today, too. First that scare of Ben’s and now this.
He nosed the car out onto the street, and soon they were on the highway, heading home. According to the illuminated display on the dash, it was almost five in the morning. God, they’d spent the whole night, not to mention most of that day, in the damn hospital. Julie tried to sleep in her seat, but she found it impossible to relax. When the lights of Chatsworth appeared in front of them, she felt an unexpected disappointment.
“Tired?” Russell asked as he switched on the turn-indicator light.
“Exhausted. But almost beyond the point of being able to sleep, I’m afraid.”
“Yeah. I feel the same. How about going to sit by the lake for a few minutes? Mom’s definitely asleep by now. And Ben won’t be up for hours.”
“That would be nice.”
Russell drove along Willow Road and parked by the deserted concession stand. He took out a blanket they kept in the trunk of the car, then led her to the beach and down the dock. They sat at the very end, with their shoes off and the blanket over their shoulders.
Dawn wouldn’t be showing up for at least two hours. The quiet lapping of the lake had a calming effect. She’d grown to love this lake, Julie realized. Yet, despite its magic, she still felt keyed up, anxious.
“Maybe the baby will mark a turning point for us,” Russell said. “A new beginning.”
“I’d like to think so.” But the baby didn’t solve any of the problems between them. Not really. “Russell, something else came up during my trip to Vancouver. Suzanne is leaving the magazine. She’s moving to Toronto Life.”
She felt him stiffen. He knew who Suzanne was, of course, and what her leaving would mean. Poor Russell. She’d hit him with so much since she’d returned from her trip. Perhaps she should have waited to discuss the new job. But she couldn’t let another day slip away without getting all their issues out in the open.
“Did they offer you the position?”
“Not specifically. But I was encouraged to put my name forward.”
“Well.” He picked her hand from her lap and encased it with his. “Your dream job.”
She nodded.
“I was already thinking of moving back.”
Yes, he’d told her.
“And we can hire a nanny for the baby when the time comes.”
One by one he surmounted all her obstacles. Still, a big hurdle remained.
“Before we make all these plans, Russell, I need to ask you something.”
He seemed surprised. “Yeah?”
“I want to know how you feel about Heather. How you really feel about her. And the baby you made together.”
CHAPTER TWENTY
THE PREDAWN DARK AND THE quiet conspired to set the perfect tone for confessions, Russell thought, as he held Julie’s hand in his lap and reflected on his feelings for another woman.
He acknowledged his wife had the right to ask. Heather’s secret pregnancy had shocked her, almost as much as it had stunned him.
“I’ve known Heather most of my life and I’ve always liked her. She’s a great person and fun to be around. But in terms of a life partner, well, I always realized some crucial ingredient was missing.”
“What crucial ingredient?”
“I couldn’t answer even for myself. Not for years, anyway. Until you.” He still couldn’t put into words how he’d felt when he’d met Julie. How he still felt, every morning when he woke up and found her in his bed.
“I’ve been awfully jealous.”
“You have?” He couldn’t believe it.
“Think about it. She’s very cute. All that red hair and, well, a much curvier body than I have.”
“Julie—”
She put a finger on his lips, hushing his interruption. “The two of you get along so well. You can’t deny it—I’ve seen you together. Your mother obviously adores Heather. And you have all that history in common.”
“You and I have history, too.”
“Then the baby…”
He paused over that one. No question this was the sticky point. He wanted to set Julie’s mind at ease. Still, he had to be honest.
“Yes. There’s that,” he agreed. “I’m not going to do anything about him now. But it’s only fair for you to know that I might later. And if my son ever tries to find me—I’ll want to be there for him. Financially, emotionally, whatever.”
She didn’t answer at first, but it wasn’t until he heard a faint sniffle that he realized she was crying.
“I’m sorry, Julie.”
“It’s okay. I understand. I wouldn’t expect anything else from you. It’s just—so much, you know? I love being the mother of your child.” She put her free hand to her tummy. “Of your children,” she amended. “I guess I’m being selfish, but I hate thinking that someone else is, too.”
He tried to imagine Julie having a child with another man, and was surprised how much the idea hurt. “I understand.”
“That doesn’t mean I don’t agree with your position and that I wouldn’t support you if it happened. If the boy turned up,” she elaborated, “and needed you, I’d want to help, too. However I could.”
He wondered if she realized what she’d just told him. “Oh, Julie. Don’t you see how it is with us? We belong together. I knew it the first time I saw you. And now we’ve got a kid and another coming and I couldn’t be happier.”
It was true. He didn’t care, not really, whether they lived in Vancouver or in Chatsworth. The important thing was to be together. And to have that light in Julie’s eyes when she was looking at him.
He kissed her then, because he simply had to. The insanity of this day had only reminded him how essential Julie was to his happiness.
The blanket fell to the dock, and she leaned back into it, her arms reaching out to him.
He resisted for a second, enjoying the picture she made with her flowing hair and her dress of flowers, a soft smile curving her generous lips. He tried to remember when he’d desired her more. But nothing beat this moment. Not even those exciting months at the beginning of their relationship.
Then he leaned over her and kissed her, a deep plunge that swept them both into their own private world.
“Oh, Russell.” She nudged her damp foot between his legs, toppling him over beside her. Rolling, she encased them inside the warm cocoon of the blanket.
He loved the softness of her body, the press of her breasts and her hips. He kissed her again, more slowly this time.
“I feel like a teenager again.” She laughed, a delicious, unrestrained sound.
“I know what you mean. Necking on the beach, horny as hell…”
“Not able to have sex.”
He rubbed a hand over her buttocks and groaned. “At least this is abstinence for a good cause.”
THEY FELL ASLEEP ON THE DOCK and awoke with the faint light of day glowing above the trees to the east.
“’Morning, sweetheart.”
Julie felt Russell’s lips touch her still-closed eyes. Oh, but her body ached. She rolled over on the hard dock.
“I can’t believe we actually fell asleep h
ere!”
“When you’re in my arms, I’ll take a wooden dock over our king-size bed any day.”
“You do say the sweetest things.” She sat up, adjusting her dress, smoothing down her hair. “I’d die if anyone saw us. They’d assume—”
Russell seemed to enjoy her embarrassment. “We should be okay. No one comes out here at this time of year. It’s too late in the season for golf and no snow yet for cross-country skiing.”
He straightened his jeans and sweatshirt, then folded the blanket.
“What if Ben woke up in the middle of the night? We should have gone home….”
“Remember how exhausted he was? Besides, Mom’s there, and we needed this time.” He cupped the back of her head and kissed her again, until she had to agree.
The dock swayed with their synchronized steps as they walked, hand in hand, to the sandy beach, then the grassy slope leading to the parking lot. Neither spoke as they climbed into the car and did up their seat belts. Russell drove the length of Willow Road without her spotting any sign of activity on the road or beyond it.
When he came to Lakeshore Drive, he hesitated a moment, then turned left.
Julie frowned at the unexpected move. “Where are you going?”
“Just wanted you to see something.” He took another left on Main Street and stopped. Julie switched her gaze from him to the building in front of them. The café.
“Oh.” She hadn’t expected everything to move so quickly. The place looked great. New door, new sign, new awning. And on the sidewalk, the bench and concrete urn made a cozy, welcoming statement.
She opened her door and slid out of the car, with Russell following. Her eyes kept traveling, picking up detail after detail. The wooden shutters had been installed. Oh, and the brass hardware on the door was perfect.
“Pretty amazing work, Julie. And look at Lucky’s. That’s an even bigger shock.” Standing behind her, with both hands on her shoulders, he shifted her to the left and she gasped.
The shabby grocery store had been completely transformed. Gone were the old chocolate bar and soft drink posters, the tacky sign with the missing C, the dirt-encrusted screen door.
Now the place seemed crisp and welcoming, thanks to a perky green-and-white awning, a fresh new sign and a much more welcoming door.
“At first Lucky was a little ticked off you didn’t order any neon lights. But he’s received so many compliments from his customers he’s getting over the disappointment.”
She checked out the Handy Hardware down the street. Here she’d opted for a slightly rustic look, and she saw, with relief, that it had come off perfectly. Two wooden wagon wheels flanked the new door—which had been distressed to appear old.
“It’s all done. Everything. How is this possible?”
“We have a lot of hard workers in this town. Trucks kept rolling into town with all that stuff you’d ordered and we just followed your drawings.”
We? So Russell had helped. That figured. She laced her fingers through his larger ones and felt the new calluses. “You always were a handy kind of guy.”
“In more ways than one.” He cocked one eyebrow suggestively.
“Many more ways than one.” She leaned into his chest and thought, Oh, I love this man. She put her head against his heart and knew he’d always be the one person she could depend upon.
They had so much together—too much to squander. Ben, their wonderful Ben, was growing stronger every day. She wouldn’t focus on the setbacks anymore. Just enjoy what he was—because it was enough.
Now they had a baby to look forward to, as well. Julie wondered if she really wanted to dilute that experience by taking on the demands of being a managing editor. The job would be new to her. And she recalled the hours Suzanne, with all her experience, had invested in the position.
She ran a hand down her husband’s unshaven cheek. Later she’d have to tell him how handsome he’d looked in this moment, with his disheveled hair and his rumpled clothing. He was the most handsome man she’d ever known.
Right now, though, she had something vital to settle between them. “Why don’t I pass on the promotion this time.”
“The magazine job?” He smoothed her hair and gave her his trademark kind smile. “You don’t need to make that sacrifice, Julie.”
“But I want to. Ben’s doing so well and I…” She glanced down Main Street and admitted she felt a warm affection for the place.
“Don’t tell me you’ve suddenly become a smalltown girl,” Russell teased.
“Well, maybe for a couple more years.”
Yes, she was different from a lot of the people who lived here. But she’d made her mark. And frankly, compared with the three renovated buildings many of the other establishments on Main Street appeared…well, dumpy. She glanced at the bare concrete wall on the side of the post office, imagining a community project, a hand-painted mural. “I still have work to do here, I think.”
Russell placed her hands on her tummy, then covered them with his. “Yes, you do,” he agreed. “We both do.”
EPILOGUE
CHAOS ABOUNDED IN THE Matthew residence. Ben’s first day of grade five and Russell’s start back in the classroom after the summer break came about an hour too soon as far as Julie was concerned.
“Mom! Where’re the school supplies you bought me?”
“In your backpack, Ben.” Julie zipped up her black walking shorts, then added a tailored blouse. No sense tucking it in. Knowing Emma, she’d be wanting to feed in an hour or so. The little rascal had been up two times in the night. As soon as the baby settled for her morning nap, Julie intended on doing the same.
With Emma in her arms, Julie headed to the kitchen, where Russell was attempting to make French toast for Ben’s breakfast.
“Julie, where are the eggs?” He turned away from the fridge to give both her and the baby a kiss.
“Eggs? Oh, heck. I forgot to buy groceries yesterday. I’ll bet we’re out of milk, too.”
He shut the fridge. “Okay. Change in plans.” He scooped the baby out of her arms. “Put on some lipstick. We’re going to the café for breakfast. Ben,” he called in a louder voice. “Grab your backpack. We’re leaving!”
“But I haven’t eaten yet.” Ben appeared in the doorway, three inches taller than he’d been last fall and broader in the shoulders, too. He grinned at his baby sister, until she gave him a toothless smile in return.
“We’re going for Jim’s special this morning,” Russell told his son.
“Wow! Does this mean I get bacon?”
“Three strips from your plate, and probably all of your mom’s, too. But don’t think I’m sharing any of mine.”
“Better not turn your back,” Ben warned. “Or you might end up sharing after all.”
“Is that a threat?” Russell grabbed the baby bag, which Julie kept stocked by the door. He met his wife in the doorway. “How do you manage to look so great when you barely had any sleep last night?” He gave her a second kiss, careful not to smudge her makeup.
She tucked one arm under his—which was still wrapped around the baby—and let Ben run ahead to save them a booth.
On the road she paused for a moment, blinded by the perfection of the early September morning. Just like last year, she thought. Only, their family had grown since then, in more ways than one. When people said marriages were a lot of work, they were right. Even when you found your perfect mate, keeping the magic alive required effort.
“It’s so good to get out of the house. This was a great idea.”
“Hey, I know how you love fine dining.”
She laughed. They weren’t doing a lot of that these days, but one day they would. And one day she’d get back into the magazine business. Her passion for her career was on simmer right now, but the time would come….
The café door was wide open and welcoming. As always when she walked down Main Street, Julie admired the result of her work. Now seven establishments had been “freshened up.” And
she was head of the committee to develop a mural for the post office wall.
She wasn’t getting rich with her fledgling business. Her rates were low and she didn’t bill for half the hours she spent on each project. How could she? These weren’t rich people, and face it, her biggest rewards weren’t monetary, anyway.
Russell held back, waiting for her to enter the café first. Ben waved from a booth right next to the window, his favorite spot.
Lucky and T.J. nodded from their usual stools at the counter. Adrienne wasn’t here yet—she had her kids to get off to school first. Donna stopped pouring coffee to holler at a farmer sitting at the back.
“Ed, put out that cigarette! Can’t you see we’ve got a baby in here?” She washed her hands and came out from behind the counter to claim Emma for a quick cuddle.
“Three breakfast specials?” she asked, as Julie and Russell settled in opposite their son.
“You bet.” Julie had given up trying to order anything low-fat in this place. Might as well enjoy the delicious sunny-side up eggs and buttered toast and crispy hash browns while she could. Since she was nursing, she could spare the extra calories.
“Well, here we are. About to start another year.” Russell gazed proudly from his son, to his wife and new baby daughter.
This is one of those moments, Julie thought. Pure happiness appeared in small parcels like this, wrapped between the constant struggles and inconveniences of everyday life and the larger tragedies that loomed from the past and in the future.
Donna came with their breakfasts, setting down identically full plates in front of all three of them.
Julie paused for one more second, clinging to the moment that she knew was about to fade. Today, her family was fine. Tomorrow, she had to believe, they would be, too.
From across the table, Ben tried to catch her eye.
He’d taken a major leap forward this summer. His coordination was back, along with his strength and much of his memory. “Yes, buddy?”
“Could I please eat your bacon, Mom?”
And real life rolled forward once again….
Small-Town Girl (Mills & Boon Vintage Superromance) (Mills & Boon Superromance) Page 20
