You're What I Want (Y.A Series Book 4)

by Sarah Tork

  “You’re my darling?” I whispered, touching corners of his mouth, brushing my lips against his cheek en route to his jaw, giving kisses along the way.

  “You’re my silly,” he simply said, and I was good with that. Cheesy, yes; did I care, no.

  “I don’t feel like myself when I’m with you,” I whispered.

  “Is that a good thing or bad?” he murmured back.

  Sighing, I shrugged. “I don’t know yet.”

  Before he could dwell on what I’d just said, I leaned back down and pressed my mouth to his. Kissing Tom had become one of my favorite things to do.

  But going any further wasn’t going to happen.

  I wasn’t that type of girl.

  “No more, okay,” I breathed over his mouth and pulled myself off him, or tried to; his arms were glued around my waist. I dove back down and pecked him on the lips. “Can I get off you now?”

  He shook his head, doing his best to give me a wounded look, which was surprisingly working. It was those blue eyes….

  One last quick kiss and he finally let me go. I cuddled next to him.

  “So,” I breathed, holding my hand to my slightly racing heart. “When do I have the pleasure of seeing you in your swimsuit?”

  “I could model it for you right now, if you want?” Tom smirked, his chest pumping in and out.

  “I mean at the Y, or the school’s pool.”

  “I can’t,” he said curtly.

  “Why?”

  “I just can’t,” Tom replied, giving me sketchy vibes.

  I grimaced. “Then why did you buy a swimsuit?”

  “For the beach,” he answered and scooted off the bed. With his head down, he searched for his shoes in a hurry. What was going on? I was getting an entirely different vibe from him than a few seconds ago. A barrage of emotion swirled inside me, threatening to bring out Tornado Jenna in all her fury.

  He found his shoes and slipped them on. “I gotta go.”

  Calm down, don’t get angry at him….

  I watched him from my bed, but made no move to stop him. If he wanted to leave then so be it. “Well then, have a nice night, good-bye.”

  Without bothering to look at me, or tell me good-bye, he rushed out of my room and I heard the front door open with the sound of our alarm alert beeping once. The roar of an engine broke my restraint and I rushed to the window as Tom’s car sped away from my house. I looked away. The plate of bacon on my desk stood out like a sore thumb.

  Feeling all types of nauseous, I held my breath and went for my phone. Maybe a part of me thought he’d send a text that quickly, explaining what’d just happened.

  Unsurprisingly, my phone’s screen had a list of missed calls and texts, but as I scrolled through… none were from Tom. My heart sank. Feeling like that was so unlike me, because unless you were family—Annabelle was family—no one should have the power to affect me like this. I searched for Annabelle’s name through the list and found one text from her. The rest were from Dana, Tina, Sally, and Becky.

  Dana: Can’t go to the Y today, busy sorry.

  Dana: Can’t go tomorrow either sorry, Roy wants to take me out for our one week makeupversary.

  Dana: Ugh, can you believe Latisha, all up in my business trying to steal my man. I know it was a week ago, but I’m like still having nightmares. The next time she tries anything I’m gonna knock that ho out!

  My eyes rolled at the term “makeupversary.”

  Makeupversary?

  That term demanded a heavy headshake and a face best described as the definition for cringe. But besides all that, I felt frustrated, because this wasn’t the first time Dana had cancelled on me.

  Okay, next text….

  Tina: Can’t train today or tomorrow at the Y…. busy with Gabe. You get it girl, we’re all in relationships now!

  Tina: You will not believe what Gabe and I just did… so risky. My mom almost caught us in the basement ten minutes ago!!!

  My eyes were rolling like a globe because “Gurl, pulease!”

  Next text….

  Sally: Can’t train tomorrow at the Y, going camping today with my boyfriend. See you Monday!

  This was bull!

  My fellow swim team members were disappointing me, one after the other.

  And I’d had enough!

  Decision: Jenna Sabini was done inviting people to train with her at the Y.

  Next text….

  Becky: It’s been an interesting morning, but never mind that, how are you doing this morning? I don’t want this to be a one-sided friendship where you’re the one always helping me through my ish.

  Jenna: I’m not bad, thank you for asking. I hope your morning will turn into an awesome afternoon and night. Remember don’t let douche bag boys or girls ruin your good mood for nothing. Hey, might even take my own advice here.

  Becky: Will do. Dude, we need to hang out, like soon.

  Jenna: Totes.

  Becky: Maybe chill tomorrow?

  Jenna: Text me tomorrow and we’ll come up with a plan for an awesome afternoon.

  Becky: Awesome sauce, ttyl new, greatly appreciated friend.

  Jenna: Ditto.

  Feeling a little better, thanks to Becky and her unselfishness, I tapped the next text….

  Annabelle: How are you? Had a feeling a few minutes ago after my shift ended.

  Jenna: This is why you’re my only best friend.

  Annabelle: Aw, love you too, biotch. Quality time tomorrow?

  Jenna: Duh, leave your afternoon free, Becky’s in too.

  Annabelle: Awesome, the three musketeers back at it again, ready to conquer the neighborhood with our crazy antics.

  Jenna: There’s nowhere else I’d rather be. What a way to end a most interesting weekend.

  Annabelle: Interesting good or interesting bad?

  Jenna: Too mentally exhausted to explain now but will do in full detail tomorrow.

  Annabelle: You better, because now I’m nervous with anticipation. You really okay though?

  Jenna: I’ll be fine. I’m Jenna Sabini.

  CHAPTER 12

  *JENNA*

  Sunday November 11, 2012

  Wake up, Jenna Sabini, it’s eight in the morning and girl, you got things to do!

  With the sound of my blaring alarm deafening me by the second, my eyes popped open despite a multitude of issues that did not end on just one part of my face. Crusty, gunky, yucky, icky, dry, issues.

  “Ew, gross.” Picking gunk out from corners of my eye, clearing my dry mouth—because maybe your girl here snored—and wiping slobber from the corner of my chin was not how I usually started my day. Feelings from yesterday came back in full force.

  My subconscious reacted, forcing me to look up at the mural of galaxies that would on any normal day exude tranquility. This morning was no different.

  “Thank God for stars.” I sighed and kicked off my blanket. “All right, enough moping, Jenna Sabini does not mope. She trains hard.”

  Yesterday I was supposed to train but I got sidetracked with Tom. After he left I stared at the plate of bacon like a lost puppy confused out of her mind. Finally in a fit of anger I stormed out of my room, went down the stairs to the kitchen and dumped every single piece of bacon into the trash. It felt good throwing what he liked away. Like somehow I got mine back.

  The high died when my parents arrived home. My dad threw a giant, yet hilarious fit over the missing bacon at which point my mom told him to “shut it,” because he needed to control his cholesterol and that if I hadn’t, she would have anyway.

  “Don’t even think about it,” Dad hissed at Mom as I entered the kitchen, ready to head out to the Y after a quick breakfast. I slid off my duffle strap and dropped the bag by the kitchen entryway.

  “Don’t be a dramatic princess, Tony.” Mom cringed, holding a plate of sizzling bacon over his head. “This turkey bacon has 50 percent less sodium, and I don’t care if you don’t like it, because buster, it’s all I’m buying from now o
n.”

  “Cruel woman,” Dad barked, pouting miserably as she placed the plate down in front of him. “I’m not eating that diet stuff. I’m a man.”

  “Ha.” Mom snorted, taking a seat across the table. “It’s too early for jokes, darling.”

  “Jokes?” Dad glared at her. “I’ll give you a joke, but you won’t like it very much.”

  Mom raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

  Dad folded his arms over his chest. “You… heard… me.”

  “Coffee, Ma?” I interrupted, not because it was a serious fight, but because anxiety filled my blood vessels and I needed that cool burst of pool water to wake me out of this lingering stupor. Chlorinated water had magical powers, I swear to God.

  Breakfast needed to be quick.

  “Fresh in the pot, sweetheart,” Mom answered, not taking her eyes off Dad.

  While I grabbed a mug from the cabinet, Dad pointed his fork at me. “It’s the bacon thief!”

  I shrugged. “Guilty as charged.”

  “Jenna,” Dad cried, dropping his fork on the table with a loud bang. “She wants me to eat… turkey bacon!”

  “Oh, the madness.” I smirked and poured myself some coffee—sans milk, sans sugar, bitter and black just the way I liked it. I joined my parents at the table as Mom forked two pieces of “bacon” over to Dad’s empty plate.

  She smacked the back of his head. “Eat, now. Spent good money on this.”

  Dad conceded and picked up a piece. “Fine, I’ll try it.”

  As he chewed, Mom watched him like a hawk and I drank my coffee and swiped a small piece of bacon. “Not bad,” I determined after the last bite.

  “It’s okay, I guess,” Dad mumbled to Mom’s glorious grin.

  “Winner, winner,” Mom cheered, smacking him playfully. “Respect the queen, fool.”

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Dad grumbled and ate his second piece. Mom gave him a kiss on the cheek, and with a piece of toast in my mouth, I left for the Y.

  Normally on Sunday mornings the Y was empty, or practically empty. This morning was no different. I turned the shower off and headed out of the change room, careful not to slip on wet tiles. I was hopeful that I’d be the first one in, walking out to a quiet, calm pool. Chlorinated water untouched, serene, sending me vibes of comfort, taking everything horrible I felt and replacing it with one thing: control.

  I stepped out with my towel and smiled.

  Alone, and it’s exactly what I needed.

  Let the training commence.

  That first dive in… made the world okay again.

  *~*~*

  *JENNA*

  After swimming forty-eight laps (twelve hundred meters) of Freestyle, Back crawl, Breaststroke, and Butterfly, and practicing my flip turns and symmetrical wall taps, I decided I was good and headed back to the change room and showered.

  While I toweled my legs dry, water dripped down my back to the floor, creating a small puddle. Three sixty-something women giggled past me in floral and polka dot peplum swimsuits.

  “We’re going to be late for our aquatic fitness class, ladies. Scurry along, I heard dreamboat Willy is back.”

  “My word, remember those tight blue swim trunks! I’d like to feel my way around those firm oranges.”

  “And his muscles… I can’t believe he’s fifty-two. He seems forty-two with that tight-muscled bottom.”

  Their antics were absolutely hilarious.

  Swimming helped calm me down, but three old ladies pining after their fitness instructor was exactly what the doctor ordered, brightening my mood. I laughed, watching them shower and giggle like schoolgirls as they exited to the pool.

  On my way to my locker, I came to a conclusion. This morning at the Y was a success. Finally feeling some semblance of my old self, I unlocked my locker and checked my phone. My mood dipped in a flash. Thirty minutes ago, Becky and Annabelle had sent me one text each, and my gut knew what they were about… our plans for this afternoon.

  I exhaled in frustration. My so-called friends and their failure to follow through with a promise had become mind bogglingly hilarious. It was predictability at its finest and the conundrum of whether I should laugh, or cry, or curse in madness held me in a stupor, staring in my locker, comatose. Like Jenna Sabini could ever do drugs, staring in the distance like a blurry-eyed waif trying her best to just survive this cold, heartless world.

  Snap.

  Out.

  Of.

  It!

  I guess I should check those texts before I delve further into imaginary destitution.

  Becky: Dude, don’t kill me, but I have to bow out of our plans for this afternoon. I have some family issues I need to deal with. Rain check?

  How could I be mad at her for that? I needed to be slapped. Poor Becky did not deserve my wrath for bowing out to deal with family stuff.

  Jenna: Dude, no worries. I hope everything’s okay?

  Becky: I hope so too. See you at school tomorrow.

  Next text…

  Annabelle: Don’t be mad….

  Jenna: Why not, when it’s so easy….

  Annabelle: Something’s come up.

  Jenna: What came up? Is it James’s little man again? You wannna jump his bones this afternoon and cancel our plans?

  Annabelle: It’s not like that Jenna. It’s some personal ish that I can’t get into with you.

  Jenna: Whatever. Good night and good luck! *Angry face*

  Annabelle was a traitor.

  Annabelle “The Traitor” Simms.

  There, I said it.

  No remorse for saying it either… like at all.

  Blowing me off to—

  Annabelle: Jenna chill, it’s not like that.

  Jenna: Girl, Pulease…. You ain’t foolin nobody! What’s so important anyways? Does Boy Wonder need his diaper changed already? This is ridiculous!

  Annabelle: JENNA!

  Jenna: ANNABELLE!

  In my still wet swimsuit, I waited by my open locker for Annabelle to text me back. She didn’t and it was the final nail. I wiped myself clean of her—for today at least. Watch me not answer her if she dared text me again today. She needed to learn a lesson on the right way to treat her best buddy—not like last time, but hey, I’m not chopped liver here, I deserved some kind of respect.

  *~*~*

  *JENNA*

  “Jenna, get the door please!”

  “All right!”

  I finished a sentence for my history paper and ran to the foyer. I opened the front door with my first real smile of the day. Uncle Frank and Winnie stood on the porch with huge smiles, holding foil-covered trays in both their arms.

  “Thanks to a fearless warrior, returning alive from a journey that has killed many, we come bearing the finest treasures and delicacies known to man,” Uncle Frank roared as I stepped aside.

  Winnie shook her head as she followed him inside and I closed the door. “Or in other words, the grub has arrived,” she added.

  I laughed as Dad stepped inside from the backyard. “Kick that guy back out, he’s making the neighbor’s dog bark again with his mumbo jumbo.”

  Uncle Frank walked up to his brother and held the tray between them like it was leverage. “Keep talking bro, and you won’t see a lobster tail.”

  They looked like MMA fighters before entering a ring, talking smack to one another.

  “You deny me a lobster tail… and it will… definitely be game over for you.” Dad growled playfully, doing this weird squinting thing.

  Mom closed the fridge with a bang and stepped in front of them with a huge bowl of salad. “Last one outside eats only salad for dinner tonight.”

  “What!” Dad and Uncle Frank screeched. They run to the backyard while Winnie and I took our sweet time.

  Mom waited for us by the patio doors. “What are we in for tonight.”

  It wasn’t a question.

  It was a declaration.

  *~*~*

  *JENNA*

  A few hours later,
after chowing down garlic butter lobster tails and claws with a few cheeseburgers, Uncle Frank and Winnie left to go home. The night should have ended with everyone chilling, doing our own thing until we were ready to sleep, but it didn’t.

  Something else happened.

  “Mom?” I stood outside her room.

  She opened her door. “Yeah, sweetheart?”

  “You mind if I go to Annabelle’s house for a little bit?”

  She checked behind her for a second before looking back at me. “All right, but be home before ten.”

  I nodded. “Got it.”