Dirty Crown: A Bad Boy Secret Baby Royal Romance (with BONUS book - Rebel Rockstar!)
Page 20
I am so damn weak. One mention of his name and I turn into a blubbering mess.
I bet Kim will come after me any moment now, but I don’t want to talk. Especially not about my ex, Nate. We broke up for a reason, and after we did, he turned his life upside down. He’s now the city’s resident playboy, and as for me… I’m stuck pretending I don’t care.
I won’t do it. I can’t. I can’t be around Nate. I never want to see his face again! Thoughts whirl in my mind, my eyes closed, tears slowly leaking out. My usual vanity is gone. I don’t care if my perfectly applied mascara is smudged or running.
The elevator stops and it takes all of my willpower to not run from the building weeping. There would be paparazzi waiting for me in some dark, creepy corner, so instead I open my eyes and fix my face in the elevator’s lighted mirror.
Jemima Rockwell is not going to allow herself to be seen crying over Nathan Romero! I gather myself and slowly exit the building to the waiting chauffeured Audi.
“Home, please Rick,” I mutter, my voice quiet and hoarse.
At home I collapse my bed’s satin sheets and feel the tears welling up in my eyes once more. The pain and anger over the breakup with Nate is as sharp as if it was yesterday that my teenage sweetheart and I had cut ties. This time, in the privacy of my own home, I allow the tears to flow without inhibition; I empty my heart into the pink, downy pillows on the lonely, queen-sized bed.
Oh, Nate. I thought I’d never have to be near you again. This is my big break and it’s not fair I have to share it…share it with YOU!
My phone rings in the distance but I don’t rush to pick it up. I’ll leave it for the voicemail. Instead I stretch out on the cushiony surface of my bed and curl my long, brown legs up to my small but proud chest. Hugging myself, I let my mind replay memories of Nate and me.
There had been such a magnetic attraction between us, even in our early days of flirting. Nate’s dark, sensuous looks had made me weak in the knees whenever I saw him. His full lips had fitted perfectly with mine and his kisses made my entire body tingle. Even now the memory makes my skin prickle. His soft hands would caress my back during a make-out session and…
The memory causes me to hunch over in sorrowful pain. Nobody has touched me as gently as he did for quite some time. Even my brief courtship with up-and-coming rapper Al-Ex hadn’t made me feel quite as happy as Nate had.
I bite my bottom lip, sighing at the memory of Nathan’s soft lips brushing against my neck. The cruise is going to be difficult to endure if he’ll be there. I won’t be able to concentrate on my performance with his alluring presence so near. No. I will simply decline the offer. I nod my head decidedly and, feeling drained, promptly fall asleep.
Morning sunlight streams in through the window, kissing my skin and hair. I stretch my shapely legs, taking a moment to bask in the warmth. Rolling over to my right side, I check my cell phone.
“Ten voice messages? Kim, what is going on now?” I say to myself, unlocking the screen to dial the obviously frantic manager. Kim picks up after the first ring, her voice harried and angry.
“Where have you been, Jemima? After you stormed out yesterday, I was not impressed! I can’t believe you, acting like a spoiled child. You will do this cruise, Jem, because your career needs it.”
I deserve to listen to her rant, so I listen sheepishly. All the comebacks I put together in my mind don’t seem appropriate for the occasion, so I bite my tongue and shut up instead.
“I’m sorry, Kim,” I finally manage to get a word in. My manager sighs and keeps going, barely missing a beat.
“While we’re at it, I’m going to have to ask you to be…well…different! This good-girl, teenage image is getting old fast. You’re almost twenty-one, Jem.”
I’m shocked into silence. Kim has never spoken to me like this before. “Kim, I…I don’t want to be different. I’m happy as I am. It’s who I—”
“Who you are is who the public sees. Right now, Little Miss Perfect, all they see is a small-time pop singer. You’re getting on that cruise next week, and you better be ready to sex yourself up.”
Kim hangs up before I can reply, leaving me confused and hurt. She’s never had problems with my image before. In fact, I thought my wholesomeness was what allowed me to stand out from the crowds of sexual, scantily clad young female singers. My songs focus on being proud of who I am, of holding onto my virtue…and my virginity.
I flop back on my bed and sigh in frustration. So, she’s really making me do this, is she? I’ll have to go on that stupid cruise and face every one of my old fears again. I guess I’m old enough now to stop acting like a child… and apparently, start being a sex kitten instead.
Kim is right, though. My popularity has been fading, and the days of me being a cute little child star are long gone. I need something to propel me amongst the real stars. Just like always, Kim is right again.
I call her number, and she picks up on the second dial. “Yes, darling?”
“Kim… I’ll do it.” I hate myself for agreeing with her terms.
Her laughter is infectious though, and I giggle along with her. “Okay Jem, here’s what we’re going to do…”
A week after Kim’s scolding, on the way to the luxury ship, my driver tries to make small talk. He’s unsuccessful. My mood is dull and unhappy, and I do not want to talk about the weather with a man I barely know.
We reach the dock for the cruise liner in silence, my thoughts whirling as I steel myself to run into my ex. I chose my outfit carefully, trying to “sex it up” as per Kim’s request.
I’m wearing a tight, luminous purple tank that hugs my pert breasts and barely covers my stomach with a short, white mini-skirt. The colors show off my deep caramel skin. My soft, butter-colored hair curls sensuously around my neck, with bangs framing my face.
I look good. But I can’t help feeling exposed and uncomfortable, not in my usual country-jeans-and-peasant-top ensemble. I don’t like showing so much skin, but my manager deflected every complaint. My makeup is also different, with smoky eye shadow highlighting my deep blue eyes and glossy lips enhancing my natural pout.
I must look like an expensive call girl!
I shudder at the image of Nate seeing me dressed like this. I shoulder my white Gucci day bag and walk determinedly up the catwalk of the ship. Maybe Nate declined the offer to perform on this cruise.
“Jemima Rockwell! Don’t you look absolutely ravishing?” A gravelly voice comes from behind me as I head toward my suite, startling me.
Of course, I recognize the voice in an instant. How could I ever forget after he whispered all those sweet nothings into my ear?
Nathan Romero.
“Uh…thanks?” I turn around to find the owner of the voice. He looks as handsome as ever, and I can feel my palms getting sweaty. God, I hate that he still has this effect on me. “What do you want, Nate?” I say evenly. “I am not in the mood to play games.”
“Just wanted to say hi. That’s all, Jem. You really do look absolutely gorgeous.” His voice softens and I feel a pang of shame for being so cold. My body thrums softly in his presence, the old attraction still there between us.
He looks good. Leather jacket, signature shades. Good enough for me to remember melting into his embrace, feeling like his arms were made to hold me.
Nate reaches out and gently touches my hand, sending sparks of electricity through both of us. I pull my hand back sharply as if burned. Nate frowns, obviously a bit hurt at my nervous reaction.
“Jem, I thought…we could try to be friends?” His voice is soft and calming, and the warmth between my legs intensifies. His voice has always melted me.
“I’d really prefer it if just left me alone.” I blink away the tears welling in my eyes and turn slowly away from him, feeling his chocolate-brown eyes burning into my back and moving slowly down the length of my body as I walk away.
I get on the ship, scarcely noticing anything around me. It is beautiful though, and obviously
a luxurious vessel. Thick red carpet covers the floor with lush greenery on the inside, and expensive marble everywhere I look. There are several pools on board, indoor and outdoor. It really is a sight to behold.
As I get inside my own room, I’m immediately impressed by the suite that was given to me. It’s enormous, and looks just like an expensive hotel I’d normally stay at while I’m on tour.
After a close inspection of my quarters, I close the door to my room, then kick off my black stilettos and fall onto the soft blankets. My feet ache. My legs need a break from the height. I curl my feet upwards, resting them slightly on my heart-shaped bottom in an almost-yoga pose, and unlock my phone. I load up the People website and search guiltily for Nathan Romero.
The first news piece shows a photo of Nathan, topless and seemingly drunk, his tight-fitting jeans leaving little to the imagination. I can feel my face flush—I could never hide my deep, physical attraction to the young rock star. His deep brown eyes smolder in the picture despite the spillage stains on his jeans.
The title of the article reads “Bad Boy Rock Star to Headline Cruise.” I groan inwardly, burying my head in the crook of my arm.
I stay on the bed a little longer, so engrossed in memories and images of Nate that I barely notice my tight skirt riding up, exposing my buttocks enrobed in lacy white underwear. I also don’t notice the light knock on my suite door, or the young porter entering the room.
“Oh! Miss…uh, Miss Rockwell—” comes a slightly squeaky voice. I jump up, pulling my skirt down with a scarlet face to match that of the young man in front of me. “I just…came to tell you that Kim is looking for you,” he mumbles, avoiding my general direction.
“Thanks,” comes my whispered reply, and he scurries through the door, glancing back at me with obvious embarrassment. I hate the new, skimpy clothes Kim is making me wear but any complaints will only get me a scolding. I hope my manager will change her mind and allow me to revert back to my original, wholesome image. I know Nate has changed, but I refuse to alter my image and beliefs simply to sell some records. If Taylor Swift can keep her sweet, innocent look, then I can do the same!
There was a deeper, more secret reason that I didn’t want to expose so much of my body.
The reason I had never spoken about to anyone.
The reason I had broken up with Nathan Romero.
2
Nate
The sun is too bright, and my phone is way too loud. I grunt into my Egyptian cotton pillowcase and wait for the hellish ringing to end, but it seems to go on forever. Reluctantly, I roll over and answer the call.
“Yeah?” I groan, not even bothering to check who the caller is. It’s my manager. My friends never call me before ten in the morning.
“Have you checked the news this morning? Have you even bothered to look?” comes the shouted reply.
“What? What is going on?” I shake my head to clear it as I realize that something possibly serious has happened.
“Just look at the goddamn People website, Nate,” my manager growls before hanging up.
I blink tiredly, feeling how hung-over I am, and quickly load the website on my phone, not really concentrating until I notice myself on their front-page story.
“Drunk Rocker Takes Home Call Girl!” Oh my god, this is not good at all. I scan the page.
Nathan Romero, ex-boyfriend of sweet-as-pie singer Jemima Rockwell, has sunk lower than before! Last night the liquored-up rocker was seen taking a taxi to a luxury hotel with none other than infamous celebrity call girl, Mindy Hall. The two were reportedly “all over each other” in a local bar and Hall was spotted leaving Romero’s apartment at 5 a.m. this morning!
Now I know why my manager is so livid: Mindy Hall has caused the downfall of many burgeoning careers in the music industry. I swipe my hand over my cheeks, cringing at the stubble I feel there. I pride myself on my chiseled looks, on not allowing stubble to be seen on my face in any public photos.
I dial my manager, Paul, and wait for the man to answer. “I saw it, Paul. God, I don’t know what came over me. I guess I was too dru—”
“Too drunk to notice, Nate? This has been a long time coming, you know. It’s time you cleaned up your act. I’ve booked you as one of the lead acts on Starlight Cruises and it is not negotiable. If you take this job, it’ll show people you can still perform, instead of drinking your money.”
I sigh loudly into the phone. “Surely there’s another way. You know I hate those cheesy cruise-liners, Paul.”
“Nathan, your career is in a shambles and after you split from Jemima…you’ve been spiraling out of control. The TV movie you both did will only be popular for so long before you’re old news”
“She split up with me, Paul,” I almost whisper. I still hurt whenever I see Jen or hear her name; we had been in love, high-school sweethearts, but she had ended it with me so suddenly.
“I don’t care! You’re doing the cruise!” I hang up, tossing my phone onto the end of the bed in frustration.
I hope Jem hasn’t seen the article online, but she probably has. When we were together, Jem pored over any celebrity sites with vigor, knowing one day she would be on them as a star. Our own careers had been skyrocketed by a made-for-TV movie called Freedom Bound, a love story set on a horse ranch in Texas. I had played the bad-boy farmhand who fell in love with the daughter of his boss, and all the usual drama had ensued in the film: Jem’s character running away from the stifling father to be with my character.
I smile at the memory of the first time I saw her on set. Her golden hair had been loose, soft tendrils brushing against her cheeks. She had eyes as blue as Arctic ice and lips like plump plums. Man, that body! I think, smiling cheekily to myself, feeling my arousal grow as I remember Jem’s long, tan legs and taut stomach, her pert breasts and tight buttocks. I had longed to touch her, to be with her, but she wouldn’t allow me to go past kissing and gentle petting.
My mind turns dark. She allowed me to take it further only once. We had been in her trailer after a particular scene in the movie, taking a break from shooting. Jem had been teasing me by kissing my neck. She smelled wonderful. I’d pulled her close and kissed her hard, feeling our equal passion growing with each kiss. I slid my hands under her soft cotton shirt, rubbing my thumbs over her already erect nipples…
The memory causes me both pleasure and pain. Jem had suddenly pulled away, sobbing, and run out of the trailer, leaving me stunned and confused. She broke up with me the next day.
On the first day of the cruise I stand on the deck of the cruise liner, brooding and smoking a Camel Light. My mind whirls. Jemima will also be one of the acts. I don’t know how I can be around her for an entire week, isolated on a ship. My manager told me that I was allowed no alcohol on the trip in order for me to clean up my act and show the public that I was still worth following. I could care less about my “public,” I grumble inwardly, feeling the familiar pangs of needing a strong drink.
Just as I’m about to sneak off to the bar, I spot a familiar blonde girl sliding out of a silver Audi.
Jem!
She’s dressed differently, more provocatively than ever before. Her toned body looks amazing in the tight clothes. Her makeup is sexy and inviting. Blood flows to my crotch at the mere sight of my stunning ex, who now looks much more mature than her young years. I guess we’re both due for an image upgrade, I think ruefully to myself. I stub the cigarette out and bolt for the ship’s corridor, eager to meet Jem before the crowds of admirers do.
I stand outside the suites, assuming she’ll be in the same area as me. My heart flutters when Jem turns the corner, but she doesn’t notice me waiting beside a huge fern in the corridor. I have to get her attention! I smile to myself as I speak.
“Jemima Rockwell! Don’t you look absolutely ravishing?”
“Uh…thanks?” Her reply leaves me feeling deflated. She doesn’t recognize my voice anymore.
Jem turns and I clock her dismayed expression. She looks absolut
ely beautiful, her new look doing wonders. The sexual tension between us grows, becoming almost physical. She’d always been deeply attracted to me, just as I was to her. I scan her body, lingering on her exposed flesh, and my thoughts make me blush at their carnality. After a brief exchange, Jem rushes off, as if she can’t wait to be out of my presence, and I feel the familiar sadness wash over me.
I feel stifled in this white cotton shirt and beige cargo pants - all part of my manager’s plan to make me look “decent” - and I stalk into my suite, feeling sweat drip down my back.
I slide the shirt off, not bothering with the buttons, and nearly tear off the dowdy pants, wishing I had at least brought one pair of my favorite black, scuffed jeans with me. I look like my dad’s accountant in this getup. Jem must have thought I looked ridiculous out there, I rage to myself, cursing Paul and his terrible dress sense.
Naked, I fling himself onto the bed, my thoughts spinning. I wish Jem had given me a reason for breaking up with me. Didn’t she love me as much as I loved her? Earlier, in the corridor, she looked at me for one brief moment the way she used to before she pulled away from my hand as if I were diseased. I had felt the electricity between us, had felt hope for our relationship and, deep down, had felt an intense urge to pick Jemima up and kiss her as hard as I could. The memory of her body against mine is strong and it causes me to shudder on the bed, both in sadness and in lust. How am I going make it through the week on the ship in such close proximity to her, without being able to touch her or, as it appeared, speak to her?
She must have read that article. Jem has always been so pure and uncorrupted…no wonder she reacted that way! I scold myself for feeling anger toward Jem for pulling away from my touch.
The phone rings, breaking me out of my reverie, dragging me back into the real world. I roll onto my stomach to retrieve it from my pants pocket on the floor, groaning when I see that it’s Paul.
“Yes, what is it?” I blurt, not bothering to say hello.