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Holy Socks And Dirtier Demons

Page 6

by J. A. Kazimer


  angel, and Heaven to me is a cold beer, a naked woman, and a hockey game.

  So you tell me, why am I the chosen one?”

  “You’re God’s—”

  “Come sail away, come sail away…” The boom of music through the

  bar room speakers cut off Lilith’s words, and broke the spell of intimacy,

  leaving me flushed. I pounded my fist on the bar with frustration, both sexual

  and spiritual.

  Lilith jumped from her barstool and motioned to the bathroom. For a

  second she seemed to glow like the fires of hell, then she disappeared into the

  crowd, leaving me staring after her.

  Lilith’s wine glass was empty, so I flagged Hades down and gestured

  for another round. As our drinks arrived the jukebox fell silent, and the bar

  door opened. Intense white pissed-off angel light flew into the room followed

  by one pissed off angel.

  He stomped toward me, halting an inch from my nose. “Do you

  know what those men did to me?”

  I wiped at a glob of stinking angel spit clinging to my shirt, and

  raised an eyebrow. He didn’t look hurt. If anything, he wore a new layer of

  protoplasmic glow.

  “They… I…” The angel swallowed hard. “They made me

  blaspheme. How could you—”

  I reached behind the bar, and handed him a foamy clear drink with a

  red umbrella and two cherries. “Here. I got you a Zima.”

  His eyes misted, and the angry glow flicked off like a light bulb. “For

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  me? I thought they didn’t serve it here.”

  “I stopped at the liquor store next door.” I hadn’t really. Instead, I

  had filled a glass with seven-up and vodka. He would never know the

  difference. Angels, unlike their demon counterparts, could not indulge in

  pleasures of the flesh, including eating and drinking, or so the angel had

  mentioned a million times in our short acquaintance.

  “Thank you.” He sniffed once, and like the crying Christ statue in

  Bolivia, a blood-red tear slipped down his face, staining his robe pink.

  “You’re welcome.” Yeah, I’m an asshole. “I need a favor.” Anyone

  else would have looked suspicious at my sudden gesture of friendship, but

  not the angel. His serene smile pricked my conscience, but I shook it off. “I

  want you to lie to God for me.”

  “What?” The ”Zima” in his hand crashed to the floor. He looked

  around as if he was being Punk’d. “Lie to God? Are you insane?”

  Probably. “A small lie.”

  “But He’s omniscient.”

  I’d heard that. “Sure, but He’s also a busy guy. What’s one little lie?”

  “No.”

  “Just don’t mention the kid’s missing when you give your weekly

  report. That’s all.” I smiled, trying to instill confidence. “Come on, friend,” I

  said, nearly gagging on the word. “I just need a little more time to find the

  kid.”

  The angel gave a barely perceptibly nod, his ectoplasmic glow

  dimming. Slapping the angel on the shoulder, I waved to Hades. “Get my

  buddy here another Zima.”

  God taken care of, now I had to find the kid, defeat the kidnappers,

  and figure out what Lilith was before it was too late. Because, she wasn’t

  what or who she appeared to be, and that made her even more dangerous.

  Returning from the bathroom, Lilith threw back the full glass of wine

  on the bar, and smiled at me. “What do you say we get out of here? Make

  tonight a night never to forget?”

  Hell of an idea. Weeding Lilith through the bar packed with Gods

  and Goddesses, I called over my shoulder to the angel, “Don’t wait up.”

  Outside of the Underworld, the night closed around us. An

  ambulance siren screamed in the distance, and steam rose from the metal

  grates, but here, in our dark corner, it felt as if we were the only people left

  on Earth.

  I brushed a strand of hair from Lilith’s cheek. “So where to?”

  “Queens.” Moonlight illuminated the starkness of her skin, and for a

  moment, her yellow eyes burned red.

  I should have said no, pleaded exhaustion or dysentery, but stupidly I

  nodded, hailed a taxi, and slipped to the dark side.

  42

  Twelve

  Three a.m., a few beers, a mysterious girl with a big-ass gun, and a

  cemetery in Queens. What could possibility go wrong?

  I lit a match. The brief flare of light bounced off the gravestones of

  some of the biggest names in mobster history. Joey Diamonds. Lupo the

  Wolf. Lefty Guns Ruggiero. Cold blooded killers sleeping with the worms.

  Romantic.

  “What are we doing here?” I shook out the match before it burned

  my fingers. Lilith didn’t answer. Instead, she slipped between the headstones

  like a child at a playground. In and out she weaved, the blackness of her hair

  and dress absorbed by the darkness.

  Losing her behind a stack of headstones, I jogged to catch up, but it

  wasn’t fear that quickened my steps. I didn’t fear the dead, worm riddled

  bodies or decomposing flesh. Nope, it was the damned who scared me. Those

  that had shuffled off their mortal coil, chained to this world by the lives they

  lived, or in some cases, lives unlived.

  Dammed if you did, and dammed if you didn’t.

  Queens smelled bad enough, but the stench of the cemetery curdled

  my stomach. The aroma of death seeped from rotting graves, swirling around

  the blackness like a disease, ready to strike. Lilith looked right at home.

  “Come here.” She crocked her finger at me, and then to a marble

  mausoleum a few feet away. Like an idiot, I followed, pausing outside the

  heavy stone archway.

  “This isn’t going to turn into one of those late night horror movies,

  the one where the hero follows the succubae to his death?” I stepped inside,

  taking shallow breaths until my nose acclimated to the smell. “If so, don’t tell

  anyone I fell for it.”

  She laughed, reached into her pocket, and pulled out a flask. She took

  a long drink, and passed it to me. “Singular for female demon is succubus,

  plural is succubae. And what makes you think you’re the hero?”

  “I’m the guy with the white hat.” I pointed to my dingy gray

  skullcap. It might have been white at one point.

  “I’ll try to control my desire to kill you then.” She pushed me further

  43

  inside the small room. Behind me, she struggled to pull the heavy door

  closed. The scraping sound of marble and metal exploded in the dark silence,

  but somehow instead of being frightened, I felt reassured. Safe.

  In the blackness, Lilith took my hand, or I hoped like hell that it was

  her hand. A match flared, illuminating Lilith and a fat black candle. She lit

  the candle, and the mausoleum burst into light. A rush of something curled

  along my spine; lust, desire, terror?

  She smiled, reading my dark, dirty thoughts, or maybe she

  recognized the gleam in my eyes. “Don’t get any ideas.” After all, she didn’t

  strike me as all that innocent.

  “You wanna tell me what we’re doing here?” I sat on the icy floor,

  sucking in dust-mite dead guy air. The things I do to get laid.

  “Your apart
ment is condemned.” She lit a few more candles, all

  black. The flames danced, wavering back and forth in the slight crypt breeze.

  “I know it’s not the Ritz.” I shrugged. “But it ain’t that bad.”

  “No, it’s damned. You and I both felt it this morning. There are

  powers at work. I don’t know if they’re good or evil, but they’re there.” Her

  fingers traced the gold inlayed placeholder for Steve Brodie, the first guy to

  supposedly jump off the Brooklyn Bridge and live. “And I’d rather not deal

  with that tonight.”

  “There’s more to it, isn’t there?” I gave her my best Clark Gable

  smile, complete with shiny white teeth.

  She sighed. “I got a phone call before we left the Underworld. A tip

  if you will. A couple of angry demons planned to pay you a visit tonight.”

  That wasn’t quite what I expected to hear. Damn. “And?”

  “And I don’t want you to die, so I brought you to the one place I

  know you’ll be safe.”

  “Who are you?” Suspicion crept into my voice. She knew too much

  about me, about the kid, about the darkness to be human. My brain searched

  for a name, for a description of the sexy form in front of me. What did I

  know about her? Her ex-husband, Adam, preached submission to

  brainwashed idiots. Her boyfriend smelled like brimstone and owned a pit of

  hell. Hades called her friend, but could I count on him?

  I wanted to trust her, to believe she would lead me to the kid, but I

  wasn’t born-again yesterday.

  “Who do you want me to be, Jace?”

  “I warned you about that.”

  “About what?” She smirked, knowing damn well. Striding past me,

  her long, lean legs swung to a hypnotic rhythm uniquely Lilith. I reached for

  her, knocking her into my lap. She fell willingly enough. Her hands slipped

  around my neck, and she nipped at my lower lip.

  “Tomorrow. I’ll tell you everything you want to know.” She traced

  my mouth with the tip of her tongue. She tasted of wine, cigarettes, and salt.

  Salt. Shit.

  44

  The flask.

  GHB.

  “You date-rape drugged us.” I blinked, more stunned than angry.

  “What the fuck for?”

  “Not us, sweetheart.” She shifted positions on my lap and kissed my

  forehead. “You.”

  Heaviness descended on me. “I trusted you.” My lungs felt sluggish

  as my heart rate slowed. Was this it? Death by date rape drugs? A part of me

  almost hoped so. It would save me from God’s wrath, not to mention the

  embarrassment of being drugged by a girl. The angel couldn’t save me this

  time.

  “Hush baby.” Lilith brushed a piece of hair from my eyes. “It won’t

  hurt a bit. Just relax and go to sleep.”

  45

  Thirteen

  “Ahhhha,” I moaned and clutched at my fractured skull, feeling

  around for fragmented bones and blood, but finding none. My head remained

  intact; it just felt shattered into a million pieces. Next, I checked my jaw,

  chest, arms, legs, and penis. All still there and ready to go, some parts more

  than others.

  What the hell? I crawled to a sitting position, considered puking, but

  decided against it. In the dim, seemingly never ending candlelight, my eyes

  inspected the mausoleum. With the exception of a missing Lilith, nothing

  looked out of place. I stumbled to my feet and toward the door.

  Check that. A missing Lilith and a broken door handle.

  Fuck. I was trapped, pissed off and claustrophobic too. I had to get

  out. The walls warped, shrinking in my mind’s eye. Running full tilt at the

  door, I slipped on a puddle of candle wax, hit my head against the marble

  archway, and knocked myself unconscious.

  Lord knows how much time had passed when I awoke to the rumble

  of the granite door opening. A cooling breeze drifted into the room,

  extinguishing the flickering candles. I inhaled deeply, sucking in the fresh

  scent of cemetery air.

  My savior spoke, “Jace? Thank God. I was so worried.” Mary ran

  into my crypt, threw her arms around me, and hugged me tight. She smelled

  of woman, turpentine, and oil based paint.

  Heaven scent.

  “How’d you find me?” My voice bounced off the stone, sounding

  louder than it had inside my head. I winced at the sound, but slowly rose to

  my feet, keeping her body close to me.

  “Someone slipped a map under my door. It said you were in trouble,

  so I got here as fast as I could.”

  Ah, the angel. He said he couldn’t affect the timeline of someone’s

  life, but he sure as hell interfered in mine at will. Just this once, I was

  thankful for the intervention. Spending an eternity with a bridge jumper and

  two dead New York City mayors held little appeal.

  “What time is it?” I blinked at the glaring sunlight as Mary helped

  46

  me from the crypt.

  “Noon.”

  Shit.

  “Thursday.”

  What the fuck? I’d been trapped for two days? When I found Lilith I

  was going to—

  “Does this have to do with little J.C.?” Mary trembled, her body

  absorbing my rage.

  I swallowed the bile of hate, and lifted her face to meet my eyes.

  “Yes, and it’s very dangerous. I want you to stay away from me and your

  apartment until I get things settled.”

  She shook her head. “I can’t, Jace. I have nowhere else to go, and

  even less money to get there.”

  She was so innocent, standing there with big violet eyes. My

  protective instincts surfaced, and my thoughts shifted from search and

  destroy to serve and protect. I would give my life to keep her and the kid

  safe.

  ~ * ~

  Mary and I stopped on Flatbush Avenue for supplies. Little Haiti, as

  Flatbush was better known, served the needs of thousands of Voodoo

  practitioners throughout the five boroughs. Pick any storefront, and behind

  the fried plantains and bottles of rum were spells for all occasions.

  I traded a golden cross I had worn since my baptism for two

  protection spells and a couple of talismans, one of which was in the shape of

  a blood-sucking succubus that reminded me of Lilith.

  Pulling off my dog tags, I strung the talisman onto the heavy metal

  chain, and looped it around Mary’s neck. The clasp caught a strand of her

  white-blond hair. I gently removed the strand, taking a moment to thread it

  through my fingers. Its soft, silky texture played havoc with my libido.

  Pulling away, Mary lifted the tags and smiled. A possessiveness I

  hadn’t felt since wife number one entered my heart. I kissed her, running my

  fingers along her skin.

  “I’ll keep you safe,” I promised, tasting her sweetness with hungry

  lips. “As long as I’m alive, nothing will hurt you.”

  She stroked my cheek. “Thank you.”

  The blare of a taxi horn interrupted our tender moment. Reluctantly,

  we climbed inside and returned to the real world. A world where only fools

  made promises and dark-haired succubae ruled.

  ~ * ~

  An hour later, Mary waited on the street while I crept into my

  ap
artment. No sign of the angel or Lilith, but there was a huge pool of black-

  red blood, and a trail of feathers on the floor. My heart sped up. No, not the

  angel. Guilt at bringing death in the form of Lilith to our doorstep rocked my

  otherwise iffy mental state.

  47

  I picked my way through the rest of my apartment. Someone had

  searched it, knocking over my milk-crate dresser and cardboard-box

  bookcase. The kid’s crib lay smashed on the floor. His ragged teddy bear, the

  only toy he owned, lay decapitated in the corner. I focused on the bear parts,

  channeling my rage.

  From the kitchen counter my cell phone rang. I swallowed hard,

  listening to God’s ringtone, Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door. Fuck. Could this

  day get any worse? A small explosion on the street below answered that

  question.

  48

  Fourteen

  I ran for the window. Four stories below, Lilith stumbled to her feet,

  the big-ass gun smoking in her hands. The barrel swung toward Mary once

  more.

  “No!” I yelled through the closed window. Lilith glanced up, her face

  burning with rage, eyes glowing like diamonds. Why the fuck was she mad?

  I was the one who had been drugged and locked underground for two days,

  not her.

  She turned to Mary, and the boom of the big-ass gun rocked the

  street, setting off car alarms and fits of dogs barking. Lilith flew backward

  ten feet landing hard on the ground. But Mary remained standing. How? Had

  Lilith missed? It didn’t seem possible.

  I ran from my apartment and down to the street, pulling my nine-

  millimeter before exiting the building. I frowned, watching as Lilith’s pale

  blue Gremlin disappeared around 11th street.

  Mary ran to me, her face pale, limbs trembling. I folded her into my

  body, running my hands over her unmarked skin. No bullet holes. No blood.

  I lifted my dog-tagged talisman from around her neck and smiled. I’ll be

  damned. It worked.

  “What happened?” I tilted her chin to face me.

  “I don’t know.” She shook her head. “One minute I was standing

  there, waiting for you, and the next your girlfriend started shooting.”

  “She’s not my girlfriend,” I mumbled.

  “Then who is she, and why did she try to kill me?”

 

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