Marked. Part I: The missing Link

by J. M. Sevilla

  The rest of my time has consisted of job searching and going so out of my mind with boredom that every nook and cranny of my mom's house is polished, scrubbed, and dust free. So when Naomi called during her lunch break to complain about her shitty day and she's picking me up at seven to get drinks, I was thrilled.

  As I'm getting ready, I realize I'm ecstatic for a completely different reason than boredom and seeing my friends: I know we will go to The Recovery Room and I will see Jay. I can't seem to stop my mind from wandering to him.

  I can't decide what to wear and end up calling Stevie for advice. We decide on my pleated navy-blue summer dress. I look at myself in the mirror and instantly hear Will's voice telling me I look like a whore and I feel sick. I know it's not true; the dress hits my knees and covers most of my breasts, but I'd let him control my thought process for too long. Every tiny part of me begs to put on a blazer and cover up, but there is a small part of me that shines through, telling me that I can dress sexy and not be any of the horrible things Will once told me.

  Stevie's horn blasts and I reluctantly place my blazer on my bed.

  I pause at the door to turn back for it.

  No, Lily, you need to do this.

  I was fully covered the last time I went out and that didn't stop those men from attacking me. Will is the only man I've had sex with – if you can even call it that – so I'm definitely not a whore, slut, tramp, harlot, or any of the other nasty words he'd used to get me to change clothes. I grab the blazer anyway, using the excuse that it's winter and I might get cold even though we live in Mesa, Arizona and it never really gets cold, but I don't put it on.

  It feels good to see my friends and hear all about what has happened to them over the week. We agree going out Friday nights will be a weekly tradition. We sit in the parking lot behind the bar for twenty minutes while they listen to me talk out my fears of getting ready and how much I still allow Will's voice to control me. Being the amazing friends that they are, they naturally reassure me that my clothes would be considered conservative compared to what most girls wear nowadays. Stevie points to herself and the tight tapestry corset she's wearing that causes her breasts to pour out, her mini leather skirt that she's wearing with purple platform pumps that have a five inch heel. I think she looks hot.

  We step out of the car, and right before I shut the door I grab my blazer; there is somewhat of a chill in the air. I put it on and button it in the middle, ignoring the frowns of my friends.

  The moment we round the corner The Recovery Room is in sight. I see Jay and my stomach does an over-the-top twirling sensation. The sight of him has me wanting to leap into his arms and kiss every square inch of him.

  He doesn't acknowledge us when we approach, just steps aside for us to enter. As we head to the bar I look over my shoulder to find him texting, which looks odd coming from him; he doesn't seem like a texter.

  When we reach the bar the bartender is texting too, and finishes typing before she looks up to greet us. Naomi orders her usual: Captain Morgan and 7-up. I start to tell her mine but she stops me.

  “Vodka gimlet on the rocks,” she informs me, taking us all by surprise.

  She makes our drinks and places them on the bar. Naomi and I hand her our money. She takes Naomi's but doesn't reach for mine, “Your drinks are on the house tonight.”

  I must have given her a confused look because she follows it with a “just following orders” before leaving us to help someone else.

  I place a tip on the bar and when she walks past she snarls, shoving it back at me, “I'm not in the mood to get chewed out by Jay tonight. I have strict orders not to take money from you.”

  My mouth drops open, and she chuckles, “You think you’re getting free drinks because I think you're pretty? If that were the case I'd make you pay and the other one wouldn't.”

  This perks Stevie up and she leans over the bar, letting her cleavage spill out and giving the bartender a seductive smile, “You play that way?”

  “I play it all.” She struts off to go get a man his drink.

  “I think I'm in love girls,” Stevie swoons, admiring the bartender's ass. Which I have to admit, as far as butts go hers is exceptional.

  Naomi hasn't stopped scrutinizing me since we got here.

  “Out with it,” I order, “I know you have something to say, so say it.”

  We sit and make ourselves comfortable at the bar. If I get free drinks all night I'm not moving.

  “Are you two seeing each other?” She pries, trying to come off casual but I can tell it bothers her.

  I look over to Jay who has his back to us at the main door, “No, just friends. Well, not really that either. Right now I think we're just friendly neighbors.” I don't want to tell them about our sleepovers or that he's teaching me how to defend myself.

  Stevie snorts, “Ha!”

  “What's that supposed to mean?”

  “Call it 'friendly neighbors', but I saw your reaction when we got here. You're totally into him. You were getting wet in your panties at the sight of him.”

  My mouth falls open then quickly snaps shut. She's right and we both know it.

  “Don't be embarrassed, he's fucking hot and I'd totally be doing him tonight if you didn't want him,” Stevie licks her lips, ogling Jay's backside.

  “I know he helped Lily, but he still gives me the creeps,” Naomi gives an exaggerated shiver. “I'd let her have him, Lily. That guy is trouble.”

  “He saved Lily!” Stevie fires back, “He can't be all bad.”

  “Just because he's not a rapist and helps girls to not become victims doesn’t make him a good guy,” Naomi retorts.

  “Can we please not talk about this?” They are getting louder and I'm afraid Jay might hear them. “We're neighbors. That's it. End of discussion.”

  Stevie whistles to get the bartender's attention. As she heads over she makes me a fresh drink, even though I've hardly made a dent in mine.

  Stevie sticks her hand out, “Stevie.”

  “Nina,” she replies, shaking her hand.

  “What's the deal with the drinks?” Stevie asks.

  “I've been ordered to make sure she never has an empty glass, and no money is to be taken from her.”

  “By Jay,” Stevie confirms.

  Nina nods before focusing her attention on me, “You his girl?”

  I squirm in my seat, “No.”

  “Then why is he sending me threats if I don't let him now the minute a guy hits on you?”

  “When did he tell you that?” Naomi demands, her protective friend mode in full force.

  “He texted me the minute she walked in the door.”

  “What'd he say?” I gush out too quickly, and I can instantly tell they know I like him.

  “Basically he texted me to make sure the fucking adorable, tiny as shit girl, had VIP service all night, and I better fucking tell him if a guy is hitting on her. Jay tells you to do something, you do it.”

  Can't argue that.

  “He called me adorable,” I say a little too enthusiastically, completely embarrassing myself.

  Nina assesses me, “If you're not his girl, who are you?”

  “Neighbor.”

  She tilts her head to the side, “Neighbor?” She asks as if she has never heard of such a thing.

  I shrug.

  “You sleeping together?”

  I flush and they all stare at me open-mouthed. Shit.

  “No.”

  Nina seems suspicious, but she doesn’t press it and goes back to work.

  “Be careful, okay?” Naomi says before heading into a long discussion on her shitty boss and how he treats her like his personal assistant. It's not long until Naomi has had too many drinks and she and Stevie head off to dance. I stay put; dancing and me don't get along.

  A guy slides into the bar stool Stevie just exited.

  “Hi,” he smoothly says.

  I angle my body better to view him.

  “Hi,” I smile back a
t him.

  “I'm John,” his smile is definitely on the flirtatious side.

  As I'm about to return my name, a strong, hard warmth is pressed against my back and I inhale the familiar scent of Jay.

  I naturally lean back into him, letting my body sink in.

  A look of horror and panic crosses John's face and I know Jay must be giving him one of his sinister stare downs.

  “Sorry man, didn't know she was taken,” John scurries off.

  Jay stays firmly against my back and the longer he stays there the more I mold into him, loving how good it feels.

  He leans forward so his fists are planted on the bar and his massive arms trap me in – not that I mind. His left fist straightens out, slaps a key in front of me, then resumes it's position.

  “You stay with me tonight,” he commands, not giving me a choice.

  I brush my fingers on the rough edges of the key, “Why?”

  “I like having you in my bed.” His response sends a zing straight to my core, “I won't be home until three, so don't use the dead-bolt, only the bottom lock.”

  I hold the key in my hand, “How will you get in without a key?”

  “Just remember to only lock the bottom. I'm not in the mood to deal with the deadbolt.”

  “You can pick locks,” I say out loud what I'm thinking in my head.

  “Yeah, baby, I can.”

  Not surprising.

  Cold air suctions to my back as the presence of Jay is gone. I turn around to see him standing back at the entrance, pulling his shades back down.

  “Sure you're only neighbors?” Nina smirks as she goes to the cash register.

  I don't respond, I'm too busy replaying what just happened and the fact that he likes having me over...in his bed.

  Nina comes back over and hands me a slip of paper.

  “For your friend. It's my number.” She's about to retreat but stops, “Not Stevie, the other one.”

  “Got it.”

  She smiles, knocks on the bar, and leaves me with another drink. I now have three drinks in front of me, none of which are finished.

  I tuck the number in my pocket and hope I remember to give it to Naomi, who is, in fact, a lesbian. It's not something I ever think to mention. She informed me at fourteen she thought she might be, and by sixteen she had confirmed it. Her dating girls is as familiar to me as if she dated boys.

  I start getting bored as the night carries on. Stevie and Naomi haven't left the dance floor. Before I let myself over think it, I get up to talk to Jay. The bar is slow for a Friday night and there's no line.

  “Hey,” I say leaning on the door frame from the inside.

  He faces me and rests his back on the frame across from me. He gives me a slight twitch of a smile, “Hey,”

  “Thanks for the drinks.”

  “I was hoping it would give you incentive to bake me a pie.”

  “Well, I guess now I know what I'm doing tomorrow. What flavor?”

  “Pumpkin.”

  “Good, since that's the only kind I know how to make.” I start chewing on my bottom lip, “Why'd you stop that guy from hitting on me?”

  “Would you have liked it if you saw a girl hitting on me?”

  Instant jealousy hits me, taking me by surprise, “No. I would have hated it.”

  “There's your answer.”

  I can't stop it from happening and my face breaks out into a huge smile.

  Jay grins, “I love the way your eyes glow when you smile. You could get a man to be your slave with a smile like that.”

  I didn't think it was possible, but my mouth widens even more and I feel like my face might crack.

  “God, you're beautiful,” Jay says, so low and soft I almost can't hear him. I place my hand firmly over my stomach, hoping to stop the wave of flutters that pass through.

  Wow, that's a strange sensation.

  Naomi comes stumbling over and leans on me, “I'm exhausted. Between running my boss's errands all day and dancing, my feet are killing me. Sorry, but you're gonna have to say goodbye to lover-boy because we're calling it a night.”

  Jay leans over to speak into my ear. “See you later,” his voice is low enough that only I can hear and I give a slight nod. I'm sure the large smile on my face is giving away how excited I am, but at the moment I really don't care.

  Naomi drunkenly steps between us, “You're one scary-ass guy. You know that?”

  I gasp and my eyes bug out, but to my relief Jay only laughs.

  Naomi’s face turns serious. “Be good to her,” she warns, “She doesn't need another douchebag hurting her.”

  “I second that,” Stevie says, joining us, “and we're not just talking physically here bucko.”

  Jay's face hardens as they lead me out the door. As we walk I look over my shoulder to see Jay watching us and deeply frowning.

  By the time we reach Stevie's jeep the two are groping each other and making-out. When Naomi gets drunk the two of them always fool around. It's been that way since high school.

  Chapter 9

  Saturday, January 11

  3:23am

  I feel Jay slide into bed and lie flat on his back. He lays there a moment or two, then he starts to wiggle, adjusting his comfort. He rolls so he is almost on his side, then seems to change his mind and returns to his back. He does this two more times. I'm about to ask him what he's doing when he lies all the way on his side and stays that way. I begin to fall back asleep but then I feel his hand briefly rest on my hip before sliding away. I sense it hovering over me, ready to try again, but it pauses, then slowly lowers back to my hip. I hold my breath. I can somehow sense that there's more to what he's trying to do. I don't want to move or speak for fear it will prevent him from doing what ever it is he seems to be struggling with. Jay's body seems to relax more the longer he lets his hand rest on my hip and I begin to grow disappointed that that's all he was trying to accomplish, but then I feel his hand start to slide over my waist, hesitate a split second, then continue sliding until it is all the way around me. I'm about to scoot back to close the gap between us when his arm gently pulls me in so that my backside is tightly held against him.

  I move my hand and grab hold of the one clutching me. I weave my fingers with his and bring his arm up so I'm cuddling it in my arms against my chest, forcing him to hold me tighter. His muscles tighten and I think he's going to pull away, but he's only adjusting himself so he can rest his cheek against my head. The way it feels to be cocooned in the arms of his massive body makes a sigh of contentment slip out, causing Jay to hold me tighter. I completely melt into him because nothing has ever felt more right than being wrapped in him. I can feel Jay's body doing the same and in this moment we are connected; I know he feels it too.

  I listen and feel his warm breath pressed close to my ear, enjoying the way it makes my skin tingle.

  “Lily?”

  “Hmm?”

  “Are you awake?”

  A sensual shiver starts from the brush of his lips when he speaks and trails down my whole body.

  “Yeah,” I barley manage to get out.

  “Can I ask you something?”

  “Anything,” I hope he can hear how much I truly mean it.

  “Do you remember the first time we met?”

  I smile, “Every second.”

  I feel him smile too, “Me too.” He pauses and I know he's working up to whatever he needs to get out, “The moment I leaned in closer to you, you flinched as though you thought I was going to hurt you. I wasn't. You know that, right?”

  “Yeah, I do.” Or at least now I do.

  “It bothered me how much I frightened you. I'm used to people being scared of the way I look, but you looked so doe-eyed and innocent it shattered a piece of me. The only reason I leaned closer was because I saw the faded bruise on your cheek and I wasn't sure if it was a shadow or not. Then you flinched, flinched the way a woman does before a man strikes her,” he pauses and my breath hitches before coming to a complete
stop, waiting for him to continue. “Did someone hit you?”

  I don't respond. I'm not sure if I want him knowing how I let someone treat me the way Will did.

  He lightly shakes my body. “Lily,” he pleads.

  “Yes,” I shamefully whisper as softly as I can.

  Jay's whole body clenches tightly. “Who?” I can hear the menace behind his words even though he's trying his best to conceal it.

  “My ex-boyfriend.”

  His breathing becomes ragged,“Is that why you moved back home?”

  I nod my head yes.

  Jay lets out a low curse word as he lowers his head to bury it in my neck. “Was that the first time?”

  Again I don't answer and he gently shakes me, but I can't. “How many times?”

  I just can't seem to bring out the words to respond. I'm embarrassed and humiliated. I'm afraid if I talk I might cry.

  His lips press a kiss so softly on the curve of my neck I barley feel it. “Talk to me Lily, please,” the sincerity and despair in his voice forces the word to come out.

  “Three.”

  Jay doesn't respond and I begin to think I spoke too low for him to hear.

  “How badly?” I no longer feel his warm breath on my skin and I know he's holding his breath, waiting for my response.

  “The first time he pushed me hard against my chest, causing me to stumble back and smack the back of my head on the coffee table. The second,” I pause to calm myself and to stop my throat from tightening up for how stupid I was. We were having a silly argument and he claimed he only meant to give me a light shove so I forgave him. Even a light shove shouldn't be okay. “The second time he didn't hit me, but forced me to have sex with him, which hurt worse.” I try to push back memories of Will shoving my face down onto the mattress and forcing himself into me, brutally and hard from behind. Jay's the first person I have told about the first two incidents.