“You,” I blurt out unintentionally.
I'm relieved when he grins, “Is that it?”
“I like shooting stuff.”
Jay starts choking and lets go of my hand to pound his chest while he clears his throat.
“You okay?”
“Fine, you just took me by surprise,” he has some trouble getting the words out while he's still trying to clear his throat. He places his hand back in my lap and I smile. “Want to expand on that for me, babe?”
“I go to the shooting range about once a week, or I used to. It's been almost two months since the last time I went. I usually spend hours there shooting targets and stuff.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, I love it.”
“Monday, we go. I have to see this.” He can't keep a straight face so I pinch him. Hard.
He snatches his hand away, “Ow! What the hell was that for?”
“You think I'm totally going to suck! That I’m just some cutesy little girl that probably hits everywhere but her target. I wanted to hit you, but I knew it would hurt me more than you so I pinched you instead.”
“What kind of gun do you use?”
Pouting, I shake my head and stubbornly cross my arms, “No way, I'm not telling you any more. You'll only laugh at me.”
“Why, is it a .22?”
“Ha ha. Not funny. Alright, game on. We go on Monday. Then we'll see who laughs.”
He smiles wickedly at me and I know he's laughing on the inside, so I twist his nipple as hard as I can.
“OW!!” He cries, rubbing circles over it through his shirt, “Stop pinching me.”
“Stop laughing at me.”
“I'm sorry but I keep picturing you with a gun and it makes me laugh. I'm going to have to remember a camera.” I pinch him in the same spot. “Aahh! Stop!”
“You laugh, I pinch.”
“Fine, lets change the subject.” His face turns serious and I grow weary from it, “Do you think maybe you can't figure out what you want because you're staying inside your box? You were raised to think a certain way, but that doesn't mean you can't find your own path. Life doesn't have to be so black and white.”
I know he's right, but it still goes back to not having a clue where to start, “What do you want out of life?”
Jay shrugs, “Nothing worth talking about.”
“But you do know what you want, right?”
He takes a peek at me out of the corner of his eye, “I thought I did.”
“How did you figure it out?”
He frowns, “I didn't. Life figured it out for me.”
“That's very cryptic and doesn't make much sense to me. I'm not trying to pry, I'm only curious because you seem to know exactly what path you're headed down.”
“Yeah, I do know.” His voice has become pensive and grave, “I've been headed down the same path since I was eight.”
I look down at my hands holding his and my thumb starts rubbing circles on it. “I'm afraid...” I'm nervous to keep going, but I know Jay won't judge me and I need to say my worst fear out loud with someone. I continue to watch my thumb stroking his hand as I begin to tell him what I've been thinking for the past few weeks, “I'm afraid that the only reason I let him take control over my life is because it was easier than figuring it out for myself. That terrifies me. That's not the kind of person I want to be.”
“Baby, look at me,” he nudges me with his arm and I raise my head. He shifts from watching the road to looking at me, “You aren't that person. He took advantage of the kind of person you are and used it against you. What happened doesn't make you a weak person. If anything, it makes you stronger than most. Don't do that,” he nudges me again when I shake my head and look back at our hands. “Don't dismiss what I said because you don't think it's true. You had the strength to walk away. You need to give yourself credit for that instead of degrading yourself over what he did to you.”
Jay puts on his blinker and turns into the old raceway that hasn't been used since they built a bigger one over a decade ago.
“What are we doing here?”
“You'll see.”
We drive up near the track and I see two rows of cars with their hoods open, facing each other, probably ten cars on each side. These aren't just any cars, they're racing cars (or so they appear. I know absolutely nothing about cars.)
Jay parks a few rows back in the small, empty parking lot. He tosses his sunglasses on the dashboard and comes around to help me out. He opens my door and offers me his hand, but I'm still staring out the window taking it all in and wondering what we're doing here.
“Come on, Lily,” Jay's voice snaps me out of it. I take his hand and he helps me down, but not in the way he usually does. Once I'm at the step to come down he takes hold of my hips and pulls me to him. Then he wraps an arm around me and places a firm hand between my shoulder blades. There's a fire in his eyes I haven't seen before.
He buries his head in my neck and I naturally move my arms around his, “I find it amusing that you always smell like a fucking flower.” He gently brushes his lips along my skin and I feel the very tip of his tongue glide with them, “Girls like you shouldn't smell this good. It's not right. How am I supposed to stay strong and not let anything happen?”
I tilt back, “Why don't you want anything to happen?”
“I'm leaving.”
“So?”
“Yo, Jay!” A man shouts from over by the cars, “You joining in on the first race?”
“Yeah!” He shouts back over his shoulder. He gently sets me down but keeps my hand in his. As we get closer I take in the people and the girls...who are wearing next to nothing, hair sexed up, lips plastered in gloss. I feel unbelievably self-conscious.
I stop and tug Jay back to me.
He loops his finger through my jeans and steps into me.
“I feel out of place. Couldn't you have warned me to dress a little different, maybe given me time to put on makeup?”
A sexy side smile forms as he peers down at my chest, “What the fuck are you talking about?”
I nod in the direction of the cars and people, then use my hand to gesture down at my clothes.
Keeping his sexy side smile he shakes his head and rolls his eyes, “Who gives a shit.” He gives me a slight teasing lift of his eyebrows before bringing them down, “You're wearing a fucking Nine Inch Nails tee. The fact that you listen to them...wow, baby,” he shakes his head and swipes it. “Then I'm forced to watch...” his eyes dart to my chest, earning another sexy grin before he makes eye contact with me, “you have no fucking clue how sexy you are.”
He places a hand behind my head and firmly plants his lips on mine for half a second before letting go, but it's enough to make me lightheaded and wanting more.
Wow, he has scrumptious, sexy lips.
He takes hold of my hand once again and we make our way over to the cars. Everyone starts greeting Jay by name and he somewhat smiles back at them.
I’m overwhelmed by the cars. I feel like I stepped inside a Fast and the Furious movie.
Someone calls Jay over and we meet them at their car. I'm not really a car person but this one is hot. I know it has to be a mustang by the black horse running along the driver's side of the car. The horse's tail turns into flames of orange and yellow that carries around and takes up the entire back side. The rest of the car is red.
“Check out my new rear spoiler, you ready to get roasted?” The guy who called us over asks, admiring his own car with worshipping lust.
Jay checks it out, never letting go of my hand. “Not bad. Won't make a difference. How many times do I have to tell you, Hector? It's all about the driver when you drift.”
Drift?
Hector checks me out from top to bottom, stopping at my chest where my nipples have hardened from the breeze and are poking through.
“This your girl?”
Jay wraps his arm possessively around my shoulder, “Yeah, so keep your eyes focused on your
car and not her tits or we have problems. Got it?”
Hector puts up both hands in surrender, “I was only admiring the real estate. Maybe, when I win, you'd let me take her for an hour?”
Is this conversation seriously happening right now?
The atmosphere changes in a way only Jay can produce and he growls, “Nobody touches her. Nobody.”
Hector takes a step back.
Smart man.
“I'm just messin wit'chu, Jay. Okay, amigo?”
Jay doesn’t respond and he has me by my hand, dragging me behind him to the end. He stops at the last car.
A man's standing there, leaning against a black car. I have to blink twice, he could be Will Smith's duplicate. I finally found someone's doppelganger! I can't wait to tell Naomi and Stevie – it's on our friendship bucket list, as is meeting the actual Will Smith. Ironic.
He nods at me, “Who's your girl, Jay?”
“Malik, this is Lily. She's come to watch. When I'm out there I'm counting on you to keep away any takers.
“You don't even have to ask.”
“She’s important to me, so I need to make it clear.”
“I imagine she'd have to be,” Malik aims his attention on me, “I'm Malik. You're the only person Jay's brought around. I’m guessing that makes you pretty special.”
I extend my hand, “Nice to meet you.”
Malik laughs and I love the sound. He's one of those people you instantly take a liking to. He accepts my hand, grinning while he shakes it, “She's so dainty and cute Jay, what's she doing with you?”
“Not sure, but I'm not gonna question it.”
“You've always been a smart one.” Malik turns to me and waves to the racetrack, “Jay tell you about how it goes down today?”
“No, he's told me nothing.”
Malik gives me one of the most friendly smiles I have ever seen, “That sounds like my boy. Have you ever heard of Drifting?”
“Drift, like that one Fast and Furious movie?”
Jay kisses my forehead, “Kinda, but we know what we're doing. We're true drifters. It's more about the driver, less about the car.”
I look around, “Then explain all of those.” I point to all the cars that are obviously made to impress.
Jay laughs his deep barrel laugh and leans down to my ear, “And that's why they lose.” He points to the car behind Malik, “That's what I drive.” It's definitely been used and abused. The black paint is scratched and dented on all sides. It's by far the least impressive car here, and the ugliest. I do recognize the Nissan symbol on the front of the car for whatever that's worth. “Nothing special, but baby, I own the road when I drift,” his voice has turned sexual and husky and I just about go weak in the knees.
Malik starts telling Jay about the new tires he put on and I tune them out as I take in the track.
The track seems to have a mixture of straightaways and turns. Based on pure judgment I'd guess it went around for a little over a mile. I walk closer so I can count the turns. The only thing I know about drifting is what I have seen in the movies, and turns seem to be the main focus. I use my finger to point to each bend and curve counting as I go along.
Jay comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my center.
“What are you doing?” He snickers, kissing the top of my head.
“Counting the turns,” I respond back, as though I have a clue what I'm talking about.
Jay ruffles my hair and chuckles, “Well, okay.”
He walks back over to Malik and they resume talking.
I'm glad he didn't ask me why because I wouldn't have an answer for him, but I had counted ten. I'm getting excited. I've never seen a live race before; this should be fun.
Someone in the group calls out that the first race starts in five minutes.
I notice Jay getting into the car and I jog over to him.
I jump up to wrap my arms around his neck and give him a quick kiss on the lips, “Good luck.”
His head ticks back and he gives me a cocky grin, “Don't need it, but I wouldn't mind more of those later.” His lips meet mine one more time and I drop to the ground. Jay gets in the car and Malik leads me to the guardrails.
Malik moves his arm around me and rests it on my shoulder. I stiffen in response and he laughs.
“Relax. Jay asked me to do this. I'm staking claim so no other guy will approach you.”
“Staking claim?” I raise an eyebrow at him, not sure if I like him using that term.
He laughs again and moves to my other side where everyone else is. His arm is now hitting mine but not directly on me.
“Better?”
“Yes, thank you.”
“No problem.”
Three cars line up: Jay's, Hector's, and some other car that is also a Nissan but slightly different looking. The paint job looks like Spiderman threw up on it. It starts off red but turns to blue as it nears the end. A huge black spider takes over the hood, and the rest of the car has a black web covering it, making the spider look like it's chillin', ready for the ride.
I'm so preoccupied with the details of the Spiderman car that I don't register the race has started until they speed past me.
“What kind of car is Jay driving?” I ask Malik, frowning because Jay is behind the other two.
“Nissan 240SX.”
“Cool,” I reply, bobbing my head forward like I have a clue if that's good or not.
I'm way out of my element here.
“Watch this,” Malik smirks, eyes glued to the race.
The cars are racing full speed towards the first turn.
“What the hell!” I cry, digging my nails into Milik's bicep, “Why aren't they slowing down?!”
The two cars ahead of Jay look like they're losing the back end of the car and I dig tighter into his arm. The front of their cars ride the rail, leaving a cloud of smoke behind and I can barely see Jay's car, who is right behind them.
“He's going to crash right into them!” I bury my face into Malik.
“No he's not.” He nudges me, “Watch. You don't want to miss this.”
Jay's car goes above the other two on the bank of the track, his front riding their backs and his back riding the rail, centimeters from touching it as he passes them. The cars straighten. The other two wobble, but Jay transitions smoothly and he's now in front as they head down a straightaway.
“Holy moly, that was awesome!” I cry, letting go of Malik's arm and jumping with excitement.
“Jay only rode the bank how you're supposed to when you drift. The other two are still learning.”
“Jay's car barely had any smoke when he made the turn, but the others had tons. Why?”
“Jay's not trying to impress anyone. He knows how to move with the road. He's calculated when he drives and instinctively knows how fast and hard to take it.” I bet he does.
Malik starts laughing hysterically and I turn bright red, realizing I said that last thought out loud.
During the next bend Malik nudges me again.
“See Spidey?” I nod. “He's prematurely downshifting, thinking he can take the corner in tighter, hoping to exit it with greater speed to get ahead. He's going to damage his engine if he keeps that up. I don't understand why people put money into a car if they aren't going to learn about what they're doing. He should stick to street racing, which he's a badass at.”
I watch Jay's car move with ease, as if drifting is effortless and anybody can do it.
Hector's car is close behind him, but he doesn’t have the same effortless ease as Jay's car seems to have. Both cars drift sideways and Hector is inches from Jay. As the cars straighten out, I cling to Malik again because it looks like Hector is going to hit the end of Jay's car.
He misses it by centimeters and I let out a huge sigh of relief. This shit is intense!
I can't stop smiling. I'm unbelievably impressed by what I am watching and oddly turned on by it, knowing Jay's the lead car as he maneuvers through the last bank as smoot
hly as one makes a left turn. He finishes the race with Hector close behind.
Jay gets out of the car and I run to him, throwing myself on him, letting my legs wrap around his waist. I pull his head to me and I kiss him. The instant our lips touch electricity sparks and neither one of us can hold back. Our tongues lace together and we both groan. Jay has his hand on my ass and the other clutching tightly to my head, not letting me go anywhere. His scruff scratches my skin but I love it. No one has ever kissed me like this before, like nothing matters more than being in this moment, kissing me.
Our lips finally part and we rest our foreheads together. Jay has tangled his hand in my hair at the nape of my neck.
“Wow,” I breathe out.
“Damn, Lily. How am I going to stop myself from doing that again? Your lips are incredible.”
I wrap my arms tighter around his neck and let the force of my lips and tongue let him know I have no intention of letting him stop this, stop us. He doesn't put up a fight and returns my kiss with an assertiveness that makes me feel like he's claiming me. He gives my ass a tight squeeze and our kiss gets deeper and rougher. I have never lost myself in a kiss before, but this one has me unaware of anything else but the two of us. I want him right here, right now, and I don't care who's watching. Jay takes a few steps back so his backside's supporting us against his car, and the hand pulling in my hair slides down so he's cupping the back of my neck and the side of my face. My arms release around his neck and my hands take hold of the sides of his face. The kiss goes from hungry-lust to something deeper. We both seem to be trying to communicate our longing for the other that we've been holding back on in this one kiss.
I faintly become aware of the cheers and vulgar comments.
“Yo, Jay! Unless you're planning on taking her over the hood of my car, I'd put a stop to your little show,” Malik's standing close enough that it's hard not to be aware of him.
Our mouths break apart and we lock eyes, letting our heavy breathing sink into rhythm.
“That was some first kiss,” Jay pants, breathless, giving me a crooked grin.
I hear the shouts and boos of disapproval that we've stopped and that's when I become embarrassed. Not when I launched myself at him, not when I assaulted him with my mouth. No, I get embarrassed after I finish attacking him. Couldn't that have happened before we basically had sex with our mouths? Just thinking of the kiss makes me flush all over.
Marked. Part I: The missing Link Page 9
