Jay has me flip over so he can cocoon me in his arms. We don't talk, he just holds me while I cry, letting the woman I let Will bury come up for air.
Chapter 12
10:23am
I'm still encased in Jay's arms when I wake and I kiss the arm that has me from under my neck. I feel lighter, freer. I feel like me again and an ear to ear smile breaks out across my face. I know it didn't solely happen from last night, it was just the final release I needed to connect with myself.
Jay's arms tighten around me, “Hey.” His voice is gritty from sleep and he kisses my hair, “What are your plans for today?”
“I think I owe you a pumpkin pie,” I turn my head to see him and he's grinning at me.
“Can I help?”
“Yeah, we can do it here.”
Jay beams at me, “Can we stay in what we're wearing?”
“Sure.” His smile gets huge and I realize I’m still completely naked from last night and I laugh. “Smooth.”
“Is that a yes?”
I laugh harder at his hopefulness.
“No,” I reply, and his face drops. “But I'll wear one of your shirts and nothing else if you keep your shirt off so I can admire it's beauty.”
Jay perks up again and laughs, “Deal.”
We begin kissing, getting tangled in each other.
11:02am
“Stop, you're going to make me spill the coffee,” I giggle as Jay has his arms wrapped around me and is trying to reach under my shirt while I pour coffee in our mugs.
He has the shirt lifted and cups my breasts in his hands, “I think I'll follow you around all day like this.”
I swat at his hand, laughing, “How is that helping me?”
“Oh, it's not, but it sure would be fun,” Jay starts kissing my neck and I tilt it to allow better access.
We'd made out in his bed this morning and his fingers skillfully brought me to another mind-blowing orgasm, but he wouldn't allow me to do anything in return. For a brief moment I had my hand down his pants and almost fainted at it's size – it should be noted that everything on Jay is huge – but he stopped me before I had the chance to stroke it.
“Are you afraid of letting me give you pleasure after what I told you last night?” I ask, pouring cream into our mugs.
“No, that's the last part of myself I haven't given to you, and I know if I do...” he sighs and buries his face into my neck. “Can we enjoy the afternoon and not think about anything other than the fact we're baking a pie together?”
“Definitely.”
2:16pm
I bend over and put the pie in the oven.
“Wait, stop,” Jay says as I start to rise.
“What?” I remain still, wondering what's going on.
“I need a really good mental picture of this moment.”
I look over my shoulder at Jay leaning over the island, tongue slightly hanging out of the side of his mouth as he stares at my naked ass that is exposed from bending over at the oven.
He looks young and carefree, making my heart swell in happiness.
Baking a pie with Jay is a memory I will always hold on tight to. As we made dough he would stop to give me sweet kisses on my lips, nose, forehead, shoulder, or neck – whatever was the closest to reach. He had me show him how to roll the dough out, but I think he just wanted an excuse to wrap his arms around me because every time his arms brushed past my breasts I could feel him smile against my hair.
He asked me a lot of questions about my childhood, my family, things I loved, things I didn't; he seemed to want to know everything about me. I found out his favorite movie genre is comedy, which surprised me (I thought it would be action), and he made me laugh when he told me his favorite movie of all time is The Princess Bride. He laughed at me when he found out I'm a closet country music fan.
I told him about how I've always dreamed of going to London, and he told me about the two months he spent living there when he was fourteen and the places I would have to visit because he knew I would love them. He started to say he couldn't wait to take me someplace but never got out where. His eyes had turned sad, he cursed and started doing dishes, making me tell him any horror high school stories I had. Thankfully, I didn't really have any. I was neither popular nor uncool. I'd usually spent time with the drama club, which Stevie and Naomi had also belonged to. I told him I had really been into acting and starred in a few plays my high school had put on. He made me swear to show him my mom's tapes of the plays I was in. He loved hearing my stories of Naomi, who was always the student director, and how hard she would ride me and the crazy costumes Stevie would put together to try and make a “boring old play” unique and fresh.
Jay wanted to know about my first boyfriend, Matt (my only boyfriend besides Will). We dated from tenth through eleventh grade, then broke up when he left for college (he was a year ahead of me). Jay laughed at how innocent our relationship was; the furthest we had ever gotten was making out. He thought it was odd and laughed hysterically that a few years later I found out Matt was gay. Looking back, it made sense with how he acted around the drama club boys. Every week he came over to watch One Tree Hill and we would gossip about what happened. He never cared to go under my shirt to touch my breasts, even though I had offered. I had assumed he wasn't ready to be that intimate. That made Jay laugh even harder, that I would think a seventeen year old would want to hold off on touching a girl's breasts because it was too fast for him. I had to laugh too. I guess I've always been pretty naïve.
“Okay, my turn,” I close the oven door and rest against the counter.
“For what?” Jay wiggles his brows suggestively and I roll my eyes.
“Tell me about your Dad,” I dive right in while I scrape the edge of the pie filling bowl with my finger and savor the taste in my mouth. Unease crosses over Jay's face, “Oh, right. For a minute I forgot who I was talking to and thought I could carry on a normal conversation with my boyfri–” I snap my lips shut, curling them in, and reddening in embarrassment.
Jay shifts uncomfortably on the bar stool, scratching his scruff.
“I'm sorry. I didn't mean we were-” Jay holds up his hand to stop me.
“Stop. You know I hate it when you apologize to me.” He brings his hands on top of his head and studies my face, chewing on his lip. He sighs and bends over so he's resting on the counter with his forearms, “My mom died when I was six, so my dad raised me. He was a loner like me, preferring his own company to others. The only words we exchanged were him quizzing me on school and the other stuff he taught me. Most of the time I was left alone.
“The first few years I was with him he didn't really know what to do with me,” Jay chuckles and shakes his head. His eyes start to glaze over, lost in thought, “He bonded with me in the only ways he knew how. His methods were unconventional – let's leave it at that. He never wanted his life for me, never wanted to deal with being somebody's father, but he did the best he could. He never made me feel like I was holding him back or getting in his way. From day one he treated me like an equal. I never got hugs or kisses or affection like most kids, but he was good to me and helped me harness the anger I felt after my mother's death. Without his help I would probably be dead, or maybe a crack addict, from not being able to handle the shit that happened to me.” I desperately want to know more about the things that happened to him, but I know Jay won't tell me.
“You've never mentioned, but he's gone too?”
“Yeah, five years ago.”
“Was he the only family you had?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you remember your mom?”
“Not really. I remember her singing to me before she tucked me in at night, and she made the best macaroni and cheese from scratch.” He shakes his head, “Man, it was good. I remember how excited she got when she knew my dad was in town and visiting. We always got fresh haircuts, and she'd scrub the house and buy us new outfits to wear. She'd be so happy. I loved seeing her that way, and I remember
how my dad always looked happy to see her too.” Jay stops and buries his head in his hands, “I never thought about it before. My dad never really smiled, but he did with my mom; he would light up around her. I can't believe I forgot that. When he would leave I hated to see how sad my mom looked. When she died, my dad came and got me to live with him. He didn't talk for months, barely said more than a word or two a day. I never understood,” he lifts his head to stare off. “I think he was grieving,” he whispers the last sentence as if he's grieving as well.
I have no words to express to him how much it means to me that he shared a part of his life with me or how sorry I am he lost them both, because it's evident in the way he speaks of them he loved them both immensely. I come around the island and climb on his lap. I straddle him and wrap my arms tightly around his neck, hoping to convey what words can't.
Jay buries his face into the crevice of my neck and clings to me. We hold each other until the timer for the pie goes off.
He lifts me up to sit on the island and he lays his head on my chest. I run my fingers across his hair.
The timer buzzes again and Jay lets out a deep, heavy sigh. He releases me and takes the pie out of the oven, placing it on the cooling rack.
Jay stays standing behind me and I hop off the counter. I head to the door, whipping around before I open it.
“It takes two hours to cool,” I resist the urge to run and leap into his arms at the pout he gives me. “I'm running over to my house so I can get the movie you watch when you need a 'distraction from devouring the best dessert in the whole world before it's ready' movie.” I smirk and fold my arms, “Or we could have sex.”
Jay knuckles the edge of the counter, “I know I will regret this for the rest of my life, but go get the movie.”
My turn to pout, “I've had three men in my life: Two try everything they can to not have sex with me and the other forces it on me.” I mean it as a joke, but my voice softens to a whisper by the time I'm done with the dark, hard glare Jay is giving me. Obviously comedy's not my thing.
“I'm only going to say this once,” Jay's voice has hardened as he comes towards me, eyes hung low, and I back up against the door. I know he won't hurt me, but damn, he can still frighten me.
He comes right up against me, pushes a leg between mine, and rests his forearms against the door, bringing his lips close enough that they are faintly touching, “I have never wanted to be inside a woman more in my life. I'm going mad in my desire for you. The way you moan, the way you taste, the way you come for me with unrestrained devotion, makes me crazy with wanting to know what will happen when I enter you: how your body will arch against mine, the sounds you'll make, the tightness I'll feel as you peak around my cock. I want you so fucking bad it's taking everything I have not to take you against this door, making you so full and stretched with me in you that you're mine and we both know it.”
“Please,” I whimper beyond my control, begging him to take me.
Jay lowers his arms to remove his pants. My breathing becomes erratic and my heart is pounding out of every part of my body; I swear it's even vibrating my skin.
His lips brush along my jaw, stopping at my ear where he moves his mouth fully against it. He holds his bottoms across my chest, his hands are pressed against the sides of my breasts, “You're going to need these to cross the street. We wouldn't want the neighbors seeing that tantalizing ass of yours.” Then he kisses me so salaciously my knees give out and he has to hold me up to stop my legs from crumbling under.
When he breaks the kiss I object by throwing myself on him. I toss the pants to the ground, pressing his firm, naked body against me, and his erection slides between my legs. We groan loudly, the air now threaded in a longing so potent it permeates every cell, every nerve.
I slide down to my knees and grasp him in my hands, causing a hiss to leave Jay's mouth.
“Lily,” Jay tries to use a warning tone, but I can hear a small tremble to his voice telling me he wants this.
I wrap my mouth around him, letting my throat relax as I begin to suck deeper and deeper.
A hungry growl echoes through the room as Jay leans his forehead on the door to rest with his hands.
The fact that he hasn't tried to stop this empowers me and I push him to the back of my throat. His thighs shake briefly and it only fuels me to work harder for his pleasure. My hand holds the shaft, working it because he's much too big to go all in, and my mouth and hands find a rhythm together.
“Oh, God, yes,” Jay's hips move back and forth unconsciously.
I peer up to find Jay staring down at me, drinking me in, devouring the sight of me willingly submitting my mouth around his cock.
I smile before closing my eyes and taking him further than I thought was possible and am surprised when I don't gag. My body seems to want this just as much.
One of Jay's hands entangles in my hair as he jerks and erupts into my mouth. I never liked this part before, but tasting Jay on my tongue has me thirsty for all of it and when he's done I lick him clean.
Jay drops to the ground and envelops me in his arms, trailing kisses along my neck. “God Lily, your mouth...those lips...thank you.” He kisses me in a way that lets me know how much I pleased him, and how grateful he is. I never knew so much could be conveyed with kisses, but somehow Jay and I have a way of communicating this far better than if words were exchanged.
“Thank you, Lily,” he gives me one last peck and falls back onto the carpet, taking me with him, cradling me in his arms. I rest my head on his chest and I make figure eights around his pecs with my finger.
“You're really sexy,” I tell Jay as my eyes travel down, admiring every aspect of his naked body.
“I can't believe I just fucking blushed at that,” he quietly laughs and I love hearing it rumble inside his chest. I lift my head up to find him staring at the ceiling, a happy, sedated smile on his face, and I start kissing my way up, wanting to have his lips on mine.
We start passionately moving our mouths together and Jay groans, “Lily, go get the movie.”
I hold back the desire to giggle as I feel him harden against my thigh.
“You sure that's what you want?” I begin to suck on his bottom lip.
“It's not at all what I want, but after what you just did to me, I know I'll be a ruined man once I know what it's like to be inside you. You've already ruined any future blowjobs for me.”
“I'm sure I can do better next time.” This time I do giggle when I feel it go completely stiff. “I didn't know guys could get hard again that quickly after finishing.” I wish I hadn't said that, it shows him more of how inexperienced and naïve I am.
“It's you, Lily. Your smile gets it hard. It's fucking embarrassing.”
“When was the first time I got you hard?” I ask, cuddling back into his arms.
Jay chuckles, “No way am I telling you that.”
“You either talk or we'll have to find another way to communicate,” my hand starts trailing downwards. He grips my wrist, brings it to his mouth, and kisses my palm before holding it on his chest.
“Fine. It was a couple weeks before Christmas. I was getting in my truck to go to work when I spot the sexiest ass in existence bending into the trunk of a car in your driveway. I instantly get hard with perverse thoughts of what I want to do to it.”
“Why didn't you want to tell me that? I like knowing you think I have 'the sexiest ass in existence'.” My smile is huge from this tidbit of information. Jay likes my ass? Hell yes!
“Because when I saw you at my door Christmas day I knew it was you, even though I hadn't seen your face, and I was instantly hard again. I stayed hard even when you were clearly terrified of me. Kinda fucked up.”
I scoot up so I'm over him and our faces can be close, “I'm sorry I reacted poorly the first time we met.”
Jay grabs my face in his hands, “Stop with all the apologies. I can be a scary bastard. I know this, it doesn't bother me. In fact, it comes in handy.”
I peck his lips and his hands grab my ass. His body stiffens.
I give him another kiss, “What?”
“I forgot you're not wearing underwear.”
I notice that I’m bare on his stomach, if I moved lower by a notch I'd have him in–
“Don't even think about it, Lily,” Jay plucks me off him like I weigh nothing. He gets up to grab his flannel pajama bottoms and throws them at me. Damn, he reads me too easily. “Put those on and go get the movie,” he growls at me, but it's not scary, it's more of a sexually frustrated growl, and I grin.
Jay opens his door, “Movie. Now.”
I wiggle into the pants and when I stand they fall down.
Jay walks over and lifts them up, “Hold on to the sides.” I obey and he pushes me out the door.
I have to waddle home to keep from tripping on the size and length of his pants. If I wasn't so blissfully happy right now I know I'd be self-conscious with how goofy I must look, and I can guarantee Jay's watching me.
Once inside, I head to the living room and come to a halt when it's filled with my brothers and their friends playing video games. All seven heads snap in my direction, and my brothers' eyes widen from the sight of me.
“Did you just come in the front door?” Seth suspiciously asks.
I blush, “Thought I heard someone knock. Why aren't you with Dad? Wasn't he taking you and Cody to that custom board shop today?”
“Had to cancel, he got food poising.” He nods at me, “What's with the huge clothes and crazy gnarled hair?”
I put my hand to my head and feel the rats nest. Note to self: When you wake up in the morning and use the bathroom after your boyfriend had you squirming in ecstasy most of the night, look in the mirror and fix your goddamn hair!
“Behind on laundry, found this in the back of mom's closet, must have been Dad's.” It's obvious my brother doesn't believe me, but bless him for not pushing it. Our parents have been divorced for eleven years; I doubt she has any of Dad's stuff anymore and I'm sure Seth knows it. They all concentrate back on their game. “Um, can you get me The Goonies?”
Marked. Part I: The missing Link Page 11
