She closed her eyes.
“Open them.” She did. No hesitation. “Good. I want to see how turned on you get when I lose it.” He slid his hand to the back of her head. “You ready for me to fuck your mouth, making you work just to breathe?”
She dropped her palms to his thighs and leaned over him more, giving him the angle he needed.
“Riley.” He wanted to say more, tell her he loved her, but couldn’t. He’d ruin the moment she sought to give him. He focused on the act, fisting her hair and setting a slow pace. She countered his movements and moaned before swallowing him. “Fucking perfect, baby.”
He tightened his hold and pumped a little faster. Her rough inhales and the sounds of her pleasure added to the lust gripping him. “More. Take more of me.”
She leaned over him, allowing him to sink incredibly deeper until the muscles of her throat gripped the head of his cock. He cursed, the sensation almost his undoing. She pulled back, not letting it claim him. She wasn’t done with him. He knew it. Knew her.
His breath rushed out. “You’re wicked, Riley. My wicked angel.”
She eased off him, smiling around the thick flesh in her mouth. On a groan, she sucked him deep, then dragged her mouth back over his length, her teeth scraping him. He grabbed her head, holding her still.
He gave himself over to the passion she demanded he feel, fucking her mouth with short, quick thrusts. He focused on the sensation of sliding his dick into her mouth and let the pressure in his balls build.
Tingles skipped down the length of his spine. His cock grew impossibly harder. Anticipation tightened his body. His muscles vibrated while his breathing shortened into rough pants that matched his quicker thrusts. She took it all, and a look of utter satisfaction crossed over her face. She’d broken his control, and the knowledge pleased her.
Damn if it wasn’t the most beautiful thing he’d seen in years.
“I’m close.”
Her eyelids fluttered closed. She flexed her hands on his thighs and swallowed him. Her throat squeezed around his dick, and her moan pushed him over. He groaned her name and let go. His hands fell from her head, the sensation of her mouth and tongue working on his dick too much to do more than experience her control. She wielded it expertly, drawing out his release and leaving him weakened, shattered…
Broken.
And so damn lost.
He gave her everything, then pulled her into his arms, kissing her hard and cursing his life and her once more.
Was it wrong to hate her as much as he loved her? He felt like a bastard for even thinking it, but he couldn’t help it.
She’d ruined him. Fucked him over. And made his life a living hell.
He broke the kiss, panting hard. Love and desire burned in her lust-hazed eyes. The sight slashed him, ripping him wide open. He lifted her off him, dropped her bottom on the cushion next to him and stood. With trembling hands, he yanked up his pants and strode for the door without glancing at her, hoping she didn’t see what she’d done to him.
“Don’t take any more foolish chances, Riley. You’re only human, don’t forget. Your life will be over before you know it. You shouldn’t toss it away for a crazed wolf.” With that, he opened the door and left her behind.
Again.
And dammit, each time he walked away from her, he swore she kept another piece of him with her. Soon, he’d be nothing more than a shell of a man.
Might be better that way. Then I won’t feel.
Chapter Thirteen
Nic stood on the deck of his home, head tipped back while the wind whipped his hair around his face. Deep breaths filled his lungs with the scent of rain. The rich and heavy smell strengthened him and allowed him to tighten his control over his wolf.
The approaching storm blurred the scents of his pack, including those of the fertile unmated members, so he couldn’t focus on any in particular. It was the reason he chose today to meet with the females Hannah had selected for him to interview.
A storm was forecasted to batter the area this afternoon and rain into tonight, giving him a precious reprieve. With the full moon three days away, the primal drives of his wolf beat at him, and he needed any advantage he could get. Its anticipation of the upcoming ceremony had been building since he’d walked out of Riley’s office, his body sated and the ache in his chest worse than before he’d entered.
The squeak of the kitchen door opening reached his ears. “Go back inside, Hannah. I have thirty minutes before the vultures start showing up.”
No snarky comment. No reprimand. Nothing. She didn’t even approach him.
He looked over his shoulder. She stood, arms wrapped tight around her middle. He turned, concern rushing over him along with the need to protect her. “What’s wrong?”
A crack of thunder sounded. Neither of them jumped, but she did glance in the direction of the ceremonial circle, where flashes of lightning illuminated the barren hill, before facing him. “Dad’s fever spiked yesterday, and he started having convulsions last night.”
He balled his hands into fists to hide the tremor in them and took a step forward. “Dead? Is he dead?”
Hannah shook her head. A gust of air chose that moment to blow her wavy hair across her face. She shoved it back, an annoyed look on her face. She hated her hair as much as he hated his. He couldn’t help but wonder if she kept it longer for the same reason—it was a lover’s preference, except as far as he knew, Hannah had never fucked Alex.
She fisted the ends of her hair, holding it in a loose ponytail. “No. Riley got the fever down and gave him something that stopped the seizures. He’s stable again, but unconscious.”
Relief swept through him, followed by anger. “Why the hell weren’t we informed?”
Dark blue eyes narrowed on him. “Riley did call you. Several times. You didn’t answer her, and she didn’t know who else knew about”—she dropped her gaze—“Dad’s issue with his wolf.”
“Son of a bitch.” He rubbed the back of his neck. Riley had called. He’d ignored her. “Why didn’t she get in touch with you?”
Hannah strode forward. She propped her elbows on the railing and focused on some distant point, her hair once more dancing around her. “She did. I was out and didn’t take my cell with me.”
“Where did you go for a run?” Because that was the only reason his sister wouldn’t have had her phone with her.
“The Tanner pack lands.”
“What?” He grabbed her biceps, turning her toward him and glaring at her. “Why did you go over there?”
She rolled her eyes. “Because I’m a female shifter about to mature, and I want a mate. I’m welcome there just as their unmated females are allowed here.”
Which was how Sean had ended up mated to Jenna. Nic dropped his hands. “This isn’t medieval times, Hannah. You don’t have to mate right away.”
“I know that.” She shrugged out of his hold and leaned a hip against the railing. “But I’ve waited long enough. I don’t want to lose my chance.”
He stared at her for a long moment, but no matter how many times he repeated her words, he didn’t understand them. “What chance?”
“At love.” She shook her head. “Haven’t you ever listened to our elders talk about love and matings?”
“No.” But maybe he should’ve.
“They say the reason so few shifters soul-bond isn’t because it’s a risk. It’s because we mate too often for breeding purposes, not love. Therefore, we rarely find our true mates.” She leveled her piercing blue eyes on him. “That we as a species would thrive if we followed our hearts, not the primal needs of our animals. They also say love is stronger than anything. It’ll turn even a beta into a wolf revered by the pack spirit and blessed eternally.”
Riley’s image flashed before him, love in her eyes. He cursed. “Shit like that is not helping me, Hann
ah. You know what I’ve been dealing with.”
She laid a hand over his balled fist. “Which is why I’m telling you. I’m trying to stop you from making the worst mistake of your life.”
“I already made the worst mistake of my life.” He crossed his arms over his chest. There was no reason to spell it out. Hannah knew about Riley. “And won’t you be doing the same by looking for a mate among the depraved Tanner males? Do you really expect to fall in love with a male who thinks nothing of shooting premature shifters?”
“They’re not all depraved.” She sighed. “Maria’s not. Neither is Ethan.”
“Ethan? Who is Ethan?”
She turned her hand over, unleashed her claws and studied her sharpened nails. “One of their dominants.”
He grasped her wrist and waited until she raised her gaze to his. “What kind of game are you playing, Hannah? I thought you wanted Alex.”
The corner of her mouth lifted in a sneer. “You don’t know what I want, Nic. You haven’t been around, remember?”
“No, I haven’t.” He bent closer. “Why don’t you tell me?”
She yanked her hand free. “I want to be the alpha’s mate, and if I can’t claim the role in our pack, then I’m going to tie myself to a male I know is strong enough to fight for the position in his.”
He eased back and studied his little sister. Born prematurely after a difficult pregnancy, nobody thought she’d live more than a few weeks. Even Nic had remembered fearing she’d stop breathing in her sleep. He hadn’t wanted his only sibling to die alone, so he’d watched over her every night.
It wasn’t as if he would’ve known what to do even if she had needed help, but at five years old, he didn’t know how else to protect her. She’d proved everyone wrong, including him. She was stronger than she looked, but at the moment, he couldn’t help wonder if she wasn’t crazy.
Or a hypocrite.
“And how is picking a male based on his ability to become alpha any different from what I’m doing?”
“Oh, it’s very different.” She grinned.
The wicked glint to her eyes gave him pause. He waited a moment for her to explain how, but her smile only grew as if she had a secret she couldn’t share. “It’s certainly not based on love, and isn’t that the whole point of this conversation?”
“Yes, it is. Ethan is going to give me everything, love included.”
He raised a brow. “And does he know that?”
“I’m working on it. In fact, I’m meeting him in an hour.”
He tensed. “You’re leaving me?” Here alone with horny females. With the full moon days away, all shifters experienced the increased drives of their animals—to breed and fight.
She patted his arm. “You can handle them, Nic.” She turned her back on him and headed toward the kitchen door. Before she opened it, she glanced over her shoulder. “And if you can’t, then go back to the woman you love before you miss your chance.”
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
She gave him an incredulous. “Of course. I want you happy.”
“What about the pack? Do you want them happy and safe?”
She glared at him. “You know I do. I hold the same instincts you do, but I can’t act on them without a male to fight for me and mine.”
“So that leaves me to shoulder the responsibility, doesn’t it? And if I don’t accept the wolf spirit, our friends and cousins will fight among themselves because their instincts will demand it.” He closed the distance between them. “Sean will fight too.”
She flinched, but then raised her chin. “He’s strong and honorable. He’d make an excellent alpha.”
“Yes, he would, but he’ll have to fight in order to claim the role.” Nic waited until she focused on him to drop the deal-breaker. “And if he dies, so will Jenna.”
Her eyes widened on a gasp. “They soul-bonded?”
“Yes, and if one of the dominants learns about his connection to Jenna, they’ll go after her. You know this. They’ll be driven to claim the role any way they can. Sure, they’ll feel bad once the drive to assert themselves passes, but it won’t change anything. Our friends will be dead.”
She worried her bottom lip. “What about my original suggestion? Pass the spirit of the pack to Ethan. I know your wolf won’t want to give it up, but if Riley can convince him—”
“You want to me to say it, don’t you?” The low growl to his words spoke of his growing anger. She’d been hounding him about the reason he refused to mate Riley. It was bad enough he had to admit it to her. He wasn’t about to share his shame with anyone else.
Hannah stood on her tiptoes. “Yes, dear brother, explain your reasoning to me, because then I’ll tell you what I really think of the Kagan pack’s next alpha.”
He tensed. She’d led him into a trap, and the challenge she dropped on him was one he couldn’t ignore. “Fine, little sister, here it is—my wolf doesn’t want Riley. We can’t fill her with life. On top of that, he views her as worthless. She’s simply a member of the pack it needs to protect.”
She smiled, but it never reached her eyes. Disdain filled them. “Then I was right about you. You’re weak, Nic, and not worthy of our pack’s spirit.”
“That’s what you think, huh? So what? You’ll send Ethan to take me out in three months.” He didn’t believe she’d do such a thing. Despite not being around much, he trusted her with his life. More than that, he trusted her with Riley’s. She had a point to prove, though. He wanted to know what it was.
She laid a hand against his cheek. “No, Nic. I love you. I would never willingly do something that would cause your death. Besides, I’ve set my sights on the Tanner pack. They will become mine, and together, Ethan and I will pave a new path, one nobody will dare challenge. But my warning to you is real. Any dominant will be able to sense your weakness as I have and go after it, exactly the way they would with Jenna.”
“You mean kill Riley.” He prompted when she only stared expectantly at him.
She nodded. “She might not be soul-bonded to you, but she owns your heart, doesn’t she?”
He inclined his head. “Yeah, I love her.”
“And when she dies, whether it’s at the hands of a shifter or because of old age, you will be lost too.” She grabbed on to his biceps, her fingertips digging into his flesh. “Think about it, Nic. You’ve survived four years without her only because you knew she was alive and well. How many times did you call me to simply ask if Riley was okay?”
At least once a week, sometimes more. Hell, in the beginning he’d called a couple a times a day. Hannah had given him details every time, nothing that would set him off, just little things to appease him: what she’d been wearing the last time Hannah saw her, how Riley had sounded when they’d last spoken, or what movies they’d watched together.
Nic turned away. God, he’d been pathetic. He hadn’t realized how much.
Riley makes me weak.
He propped his elbows on the railing and focused on the lightning display in the distance. “The past is over. Riley’s leaving, and I’ll have a new female to worry about soon. It’ll be fine.”
“It will not be fine. When Riley dies, you’ll snap.” Hannah laid her hand over his. “And if you’ve fathered a child by then, you’ll have no reason to stay in a world without her. You’ll be driven to reunite with her in heaven, and that’s not something your wolf has any say over. You’ll kill yourself, knowing as soon as you die, you can spend eternity with her. Am I right?”
Hannah’s words quickened his pulse. A sick hope surged, one he hated latching on to, but he was unable to stop himself. He was guaranteed one kid, the night he accepted the pack spirit. One kid was all he needed. If Riley lived out a normal human life, his child would be old enough to either accept the pack spirit or mate someone who could. He’d be able to end his living hell. Finall
y find happiness. Finally be with Riley. His mate could keep the damn piece of his soul he gave her. Without Riley, it was worthless anyway.
Hannah’s expression dropped, and tears filled her eyes, a sight he’d never seen. “Oh Nic, please, please tell me that’s not what you’re planning.”
The sound of a car approaching saved him from lying. He shoved the door open and stepped around Hannah. “Looks like my first candidate has arrived. Did you narrow down my selections?”
A single tear slipped down her cheek. She scrubbed it away. “Yes, you’re meeting with three females, but if you don’t like any of them, there are others willing to tie themselves to your sorry ass. I still don’t understand why either, not after the list of conditions you made me give them.”
“Sure you do, little sister.” He brushed another droplet of moisture from her eyelashes. “Power. It’s the same reason you’re sniffing around Ethan. Don’t bother denying it either. Or I’ll call you on the lie and demand the truth from you about your game.”
She glared at him for a long moment, her nostrils flaring on her rough breaths, before she pivoted and stormed away. He chuckled, knowing he’d guessed right and that she was up to something, but he didn’t have time to worry about her choices. He had his own to torment him.
He shoved Riley’s image away and made his way to the front door. Each step he took tightened his body. Not in fear or anticipation, but control. His wolf had risen. The female shifter’s scent drifted to him through the open windows, despite the wind wailing outside. The woman was nearing her fertile period, and his wolf was horny. Nic was not. His dick hung limp.
He snorted. At least he could still keep one promise to Riley.
His mate would never take her place in his bed, but she had to, at least for one night. Not a night, just long enough to get off.
God, I’m a bastard. He couldn’t work up the energy to care either. He must’ve left his empathy with Riley along with his heart. She’d hold both for him until they could be reunited. He couldn’t wait.
Bridged by Love Page 11
