Chapter Fourteen
Nic sat on the couch in his living room, his seventh shot of whiskey in his hand. None had made the afternoon any more bearable. He was ready to let Hannah pick someone for him and be done with the whole damn situation. Candidate number one hadn’t lasted five minutes before demanding to renegotiate the conditions he’d stipulated. And number two stood before him, hands on her hips and a smile on her face he suspected was supposed to be sultry. Or maybe wicked. All Nic saw was a woman who hoped for more than he could give her.
“I’m sorry, Cindy. I don’t think I’m the right man for you.”
She rolled her eyes as if he’d told her something ridiculous, and his disdain grew. He sat forward. “Leave. Now.”
“I understand how you feel, Nic. My older brother was in the same position you are several years ago. He hated the idea of being forced to assume control of our pack and take a mate. I watched him struggle with his instincts. He finally accepted his role and couldn’t be happier with the female he chose.” She stepped closer, her legs brushing against his knees. “It’s all about instincts. Let me prove to you I can trigger yours.”
Could she? His wolf wanted her. Then again, he’d wanted candidate number one too. Still, if she could excite him, he might have some hope of a future; not the one he wanted, of course. At the moment, he needed some kind of draw to the woman, because he wasn’t even sure he’d be able to bite her, let alone fuck her. The very idea of putting his mouth on her or his dick in her churned his gut.
He downed the shot, put the glass on the table beside him and motioned her closer. “Okay, Cindy, work your magic.”
Her grin spread. She straddled him, her groin lining up to his. A little wiggle of her ass, and she settled on top of him. He waited for his cock to twitch. Nothing. He sighed, and she tipped up his chin. “Relax, Nic. Let me pleasure you. I want this.”
Her words echoed Riley’s, and guilt hit him hard. What the hell was he doing? He didn’t want Cindy’s lips on his mouth or his cock. He wrapped his hands around her waist, ready to lift her off him, but she kissed him, pushing her tongue between his lips before he could stop her. She twined her tongue with his and ran her hands over his sides, across his stomach, and between their bodies.
His gut squeezed, and he choked on bile. He turned his head, breaking their kiss. “I don’t—”
She popped the button on his jeans and reached inside, squeezing his flaccid dick and stroking, determined to get a rise out of him. With her other hand, she turned his head back to hers and took his mouth once more.
The distant sound of a door opening reached his ears. He tensed, not wanting Hannah to see him sickened by a female, but the sound of Riley’s gasp stabbed him right in his heart. He froze. Don’t react. Dammit, don’t react.
He hated it, but he couldn’t let the woman fisting his cock know what Riley meant to him. Hell, he couldn’t even allow Cindy to suspect it. Hannah’s words echoed in his head, and he knew she was right. Nobody could learn about his weakness or his mistake. He’d already risked Riley’s life once, and all he could do was pray Ben had taken the knowledge he learned to the grave.
For the second time, he turned his head, ending his torture, and collided with Riley’s stricken face. A deep breath, and she shoved her emotions deep, her practiced mask, saving them both.
“Riley.” He held her gaze, hoping she understood what he couldn’t say.
Cindy rested her head on his shoulder. He couldn’t see her face, but the tic that formed on Riley’s jaw warned it was probably mocking.
Riley dropped her gaze. “I’m sorry to disturb you. Hannah had asked me to come over.”
Damn his sister. She set him up, probably hoping Riley would walk in on him. He cleared his throat. “She went out for a run. I’ll tell her you stopped by.”
“A human?” Cindy faced him, a question in her eyes.
“Riley is an honorary member of the pack. She’s also our pack doctor, and if I choose you to be my mate”—he glanced at Riley—“she’ll deliver our baby.”
Riley flinched. A tremor shook her hands. She linked them behind her back.
“How wonderful. It’s nice to meet you, Riley.” Cindy slid to the cushion beside him, exposing his open pants and dick. Riley’s gaze flicked to his groin, then his face before turning away. It was enough to see the hurt in her eyes.
Pain whipped through him. Even his wolf sat up, ears perked. For the first time, it seemed concerned about Riley’s mood. Nic didn’t delude himself into thinking anything had changed, but he took some comfort in knowing even his baser half felt bad for causing her more heartache.
“Riley, I…” His words trailed off. What was he supposed to say? Nothing would make what she’d walked in on right.
“Again, my apologies for disturbing you.” Riley coughed into her arm. “I’ll see myself out.”
With that, she left.
And dammit, she took another piece of him with her.
Impossible, but at the moment, he felt as if his reason for leaving had walked out the door. Cindy skimmed her fingers over his dick, redirecting him to the life that awaited him, and he felt…
Nothing, not even disgust.
Riley left her car running and walked the short distance to the ceremonial circle behind Nic’s house. A lull in the storm offered her the chance to sneak into the ring. She knew she shouldn’t have come. Humans weren’t allowed in the shifter’s meeting place, but nothing would’ve kept her away.
The circle of soft grass called to her. Not in the same way it did to the shifters. It helped chase away the loneliness she’d often experienced after Nic left. She felt connected to him whenever she visited. It wasn’t hard to guess why.
She associated the spot with Nic. In the center of the field, she and Nic had lost their virginity together. He’d insisted on making love to her under the stars, saying he wanted their first time together to be special. It was too. Beautiful, unforgettable…
Life-altering.
She’d walked away feeling claimed, not just loved.
She stood in nearly the same spot they’d loved each other, but comfort didn’t settle over her. Sadness and despair did. She dropped to her knees just as the first fat drops of rain fell. Thunder boomed and lightning flashed, but she didn’t rush back to her car, despite the danger the open hill offered. She let the wildness of the moment seize her.
Head tipped back and arms outstretched, she cried. Her tears mixed with the rain pummeling her. The evidence of the pain from seeing Nic with another woman washed away, but the wound on her heart bled. She dropped her arms and curled over her bent legs. Her sobs shook her body, and she rocked while the rain beat against her back.
Four years ago, he told her they were over minutes after professing his love for her. She knew he’d gone on to be with other women just as she had moved on. Physically, at least. Emotionally, she’d held his profession of love close, never allowing it to fade.
It hadn’t done any good. The visual of Nic kissing another woman drove home the truth he’d tried to make her accept—she had no place in his life.
Yet… He hadn’t been aroused. Not even a little. When that woman pillowed her head on his shoulder, a pained look had spread over his rough features. Lines had formed by his eyes, and his lips had thinned. Guilt might’ve caused the reaction.
Or disgust.
Hope rose. She grabbed hold of the tiny spark and breathed her love into it. Two days. She had two more days to break through Nic’s stubbornness. If she gave up, she’d regret her weakness for the rest of her life. After a lifetime of loving Nic, she owed it to herself and Nic to fight for them. If he still chose to toss their love away, at least she’d know she’d tried.
Determination gave her strength. She buried the pain deep, stood and made her way to her SUV. A car approached. Common sense told her to get in her vehicle
and leave. She wasn’t supposed to be on the hill. She couldn’t make herself move, however. She recognized the woman behind the wheel, and if she had been able to growl, she would’ve.
Maria Tanner was beautiful by human standards, but by shifter ideals, she was the epitome of perfection. Her full breasts, tiny waist, rounded hips, and legs that went on forever turned every guy’s head. For shifters, though, one look at her platinum hair and icy blue eyes and they’d know she held the second rarest wolf within her body—the arctic wolf. A mating between Maria and Nic would guarantee strong kids, rare wolves and power.
All the things I can’t give him.
Frustration settled over Riley along with desperation. There was only one reason Maria would be on Kagan pack lands—she was one of Nic’s potential mates. How would Riley ever compete with Maria? On top of her gorgeous body, she was generally nice.
Riley choked on a sob and turned away, praying the shifter hadn’t noticed Riley’s pain. Once more, she tipped her head back, the deluge pelting her with water droplets.
“Riley, what are you doing here?”
Husky, deep and sultry—Maria had a bedroom voice. Riley cringed, but she dragged up her practiced mask, minus the welcoming smile, and faced the female shifter. Maria stood a couple of feet away, a large golf umbrella keeping her dry, and her attention focused on Riley’s shoulder.
Shit, shit, shit. The thin white cotton clung to her body, drawing attention to her curves and pebbled nipples from the cold rain. Would it show the raised scar Nic had left on her? Why wouldn’t it?
Panic gripped her. She turned, blocking Maria’s line of sight and praying she hadn’t screwed herself or Nic with the foolishness of her actions. If she hadn’t been consumed by her sadness, she would’ve realized the danger. She’d seen enough wet T-shirt contests to grasp what the rain would do to her outfit.
She glanced at Maria to judge her reaction. A neutral expression showed on her face, no hint she suspected anything. Please, God, don’t let her have noticed.
“I’m saying good-bye to a friend.” As far as excuses went, it wasn’t a bad one. The pack burial grounds were nearby too.
“You’re allowed there?”
“No, but he wasn’t buried within the Kagan’s plot.” Ben had been given the next best thing, a resting place just beyond the boundary. “Why are you here?”
“My grandmother was a Kagan pack member. I often come to visit her. I figured I’d stop by for a chat before I met with Nic.”
“You’re one of Nic’s”—Riley curled her fingers into fists—“potential mates?”
“Yes.” A crack of thunder sounded. Maria motioned to Riley’s car. “You should get inside your car. You’re soaked.”
“I don’t mind getting wet. It’s not like I have anybody to impress.”
“No, I suppose you don’t any longer.”
Riley’s chest tightened. “What do you mean?”
Maria’s gaze swept over Riley’s upper body. Riley turned a little more, doing her best to hide the evidence of her bite. “I’ve heard through the grapevine that you’ll be moving to Ohio. Any relationships you’ve formed here won’t matter in a couple of days, will they?”
Riley knew she should agree but couldn’t. She raised her chin and caught the woman’s gaze. Screw the rules. If what Riley suspected was true, Maria had seen the outline of Riley’s scar. It wouldn’t take Maria long to put two and two together and figure out who’d bitten her. If she was going to come after Riley because of it, she sure as hell wasn’t going to cower.
“Real relationships know no boundaries, Maria. The strong ones based on love last an eternity.”
Maria dipped her head, never breaking their stare. “Very philosophical, but do you believe true love can overcome”—one corner of her mouth rose in a lopsided smile, baring a dainty fang—“a shifter’s instincts?”
She knows. Riley’s heart pounded hard, but she’d lived with shifters long enough to keep her fear hidden. She stared into Maria’s softly glowing eyes and matched her feral grin. “I’m betting my life on it.”
With that, Riley opened the car door and slipped inside. She started the SUV and turned the car around. Determination returned along with the first inklings of an idea that just might save her from finding out if what she’d told Maria was the truth.
Nic dropped his head against the kitchen door after seeing Cindy out. Guilt had landed hard in his gut. The tremor in Riley’s hands and the hurt look on her face had cut deep. He pressed a balled fist to his chest and groaned.
A whine from his wolf drew his attention. He reached inside himself and found the animal sitting on it haunches in the mystical field where it spent most of its time. The black wolf with its deep blue eyes met Nic’s gaze. It tilted its head, ears back and nostrils flaring.
Trying to understand Nic’s mood? Or his pain perhaps? He didn’t have an answer. They couldn’t exactly talk to each other, and in the four years Nic had been away from his pack, he’d ignored the animal as much as he could, allowing it out only on the night of the full moon.
The squeak of the doorway leading into the kitchen warned him candidate three had arrived. His wolf stood and stepped forward, pushing once more to be released. Nic closed his eyes and growled. So much for his animal actually caring about what had sickened him.
“Did I come at a bad time?”
Maria Tanner’s voice hit him. His wolf renewed its efforts to assert its wants on Nic. He snarled, his patience snapping.
The click of heels carried over his angry groans. He whipped his head in her direction, got his first look at her, and bared his fangs. “Stay the fuck over there.”
She froze. “I’m sorry. If I’ve come too late and you’ve already made your selection—”
“I haven’t.” He pillowed his forehead on his bent arm. “I just don’t want you near me.”
“Then I’ll see myself out.”
“No, wait.” He glanced at her. “Did you read over the list of conditions I drew up for this sham of a mating?”
She raised a brow. “The ones that demanded a complete separation of our living arrangements after the night of our mating, including planned visitation rights for our child?”
He nodded. “And do you agree to them?”
She closed her eyes on a sigh, but opened them a moment later and met his gaze. “I had questioned why, but I now understand the reason behind it.”
He didn’t give a fuck what she understood. “Do you agree to them?”
“I do, on one condition.”
Nic tensed. “If it’s about the sex, we’re only doing the damn deed once—”
“No.” She raised a hand. “Quite frankly, I prefer it that way. I don’t want to grow attached or possessive of you if our lives will be lived separately.”
He breathed a sigh. “Then what is it?”
“One of our dominants plans to challenge my father. I don’t doubt his ability to take the pack spirit from him, but I do worry about the reception and support our neighboring packs will give him. I want your promise to stand by him. If you do, others will.”
Nic turned and crossed his arms over his chest. “I can only offer my backing if I find him worthy. If he’s anything like Michael, I won’t give it.”
“He’s a good man. Honorable and strong. I vouch for his integrity with my life.”
He studied her with narrowed eyes. “You love him?”
She chuckled. “No, he’s a friend only. Plus, he has his sights set on someone else.”
Trepidation settled over him. “What’s his name?”
“Ethan.”
He shook his head. His sister’s web was going to choke her when Ethan found out about her feelings for Alex. “Consider it given.”
“Then you agree to our”—she dropped her gaze to the floor—“mating?”
Nic glanced out the window and focused on the ceremonial circle in the distance. His shoulders slumped more. “Yeah, you know when and where to meet me. Don’t approach me beforehand.”
“So be it.”
He waited until the door squeaked before glancing over his shoulder. “Maria?”
“Yes.” She answered without facing him.
“What’s the real reason you’re doing this?”
“Sharing my secrets is not part of the stipulations you demanded. Do you plan to change the rules of our binding whenever you see fit?”
“No, not so long as your secrets don’t endanger my pack.”
“Then we’re safe.” She walked out, the door banging shut behind her.
Maybe he should care to learn what drove her to accept the pathetic mating he offered, but he didn’t. He was only damn glad she’d left when she had. The pain in his chest from his wolf trying to burst free threatened to rip a scream from his chest. He slid to the floor, arms wrapped around his knees, and let his new plan, the one Hannah unintentionally gave, comfort him.
One night. Surely, Riley will forgive me one night.
Chapter Fifteen
The deluge that had opened up hours ago had eased to a steady light rain. Nic hopped off the deck of his house and made his way across the backyard. Lightning no longer flashed over the hill, drawing attention to their ceremonial circle, but the faint call of his pack’s spirit reached out to him, luring him closer with promises of power. He felt it as a low, steady heartbeat in his veins. Every inch of his skin tingled and itched. The temptation to embrace the baser half of his psyche grew with each step he took.
He didn’t hurry, despite the insistence of his wolf to close the distance and stand guard over the pack spirit who waited inside the circle for its new host. The louder the whispers got, the slower his steps. He breathed deeply and allowed the natural display to cleanse and strengthen him against its seductive call.
The afternoon had left a stain on his soul. The cold rain helped ease the burn just under his skin. He whipped his shirt off, needing to rid himself of the stench of the female shifters who’d come to see him today. The water ran over his muscles, washing away the physical reminder of his sin, but it didn’t wipe the memory of Riley’s pained expression from his mind. The look of hurt she’d worn was imprinted upon him. Each time he closed his eyes, it greeted him.
Bridged by Love Page 12
