If the Fates Allow

by Zoe Kane

  "Are the kids crazy about him?"

  "Uncontrollably. I'm honestly afraid sometimes that Lucy will snuggle him to death."

  "I saw the Christmas pictures you sent. Those kids are ridiculously adorable."

  "Yes, they are."

  "You sound a little smitten."

  "I might be."

  "With the kids, or -"

  "I meant the kids."

  "Just checking."

  "Linnet," he said with a faint note of reproach, "if you're fishing for information, just come right out and ask."

  "Hey, your personal life is your business."

  "That's literally never been your attitude before."

  "I'm turning over a new leaf. Did I tell you I got a Christmas card from Aunt Vera?"

  "You did?"

  "Yeah, she thanked me for all my help picking out the presents. If you and Annie don't want her, I'm stealing her for myself. I need an Aunt Vera."

  "We all do."

  “Oh hey,” she said, “I forgot to tell you. Kit and Maggie are on tour in Portland and Seattle and they’re bringing me along for the week to run lights for them. Are you around Friday?”

  “Linnet, I’m not hauling my thirty-nine-year-old ass out to some underground rave at the skate park just to get elbowed by mobs of college students while listening to Kit and Maggie’s ‘electronic noise-scapes.’ Did you learn nothing from The Great Staten Island Disaster of 2013?”

  “First of all, it’s soundscapes, not noise-scapes –“

  “I respectfully disagree.”

  “And second of all, no, Grandpa, I’m not forcing you to stay out past your 8 p.m. bedtime, I know you have important things to do like drink warm milk and complain about your bad knee – “

  “I hurt that knee in a motorcycle accident, goddamn you, I’m not decrepit –“

  “I notice you’re not denying the warm milk.”

  “I put bourbon in it.”

  “Well, all right, that’s fair.”

  “So you didn’t call to drag me out to some concrete bunker full of teenagers shooting acid?”

  “’Shooting acid?’" She howled with laughter. "‘Shooting acid?’ What are you, a hundred? Jesus Christ. I should make you go just for that. But no, the show’s Saturday, so what I actually wanted to know is, are you free on Friday to buy a girl a drink? We’ll be done with setup around nine. Or is that too late?”

  There was the tiniest pause before Marcus answered, and it pinged Linnet's radar immediately. “No sex,” she amended, “just so we're clear. I’m not sleeping with you until you sort out whatever’s going on between you and Annie. You don’t need any extra baggage right now. This is just you and me having a friendly drink so we can catch up without you having to spend two hours listening to my ex-girlfriend’s electronic soundscapes.”

  Marcus was annoyed at himself for how relieved he was that Linnet had said it out loud, so he didn’t have to.

  “I can do that,” he said. “I’ll see you then.”

  “You better have a lot of stories for me.”

  “Oh, believe me,” he said. “I’m sure I will.”

  * * *

  That was on Wednesday.

  On Friday, disaster struck.

  Chapter Seventeen: Epiphany

  "I'm sorry, I don't quite understand," said Annie blankly. "Isaac did what?"

  Principal Brown regarded her coldly over the vast expanse of her vaguely menacing mahogany desk, and repeated herself patiently.

  “He punched a classmate in the face.”

  “That’s impossible. He’s not a violent kid.”

  “Ms. Walter –“

  “It’s Doctor.”

  “Dr. Walter, everyone at St. Philip Neri is aware of the particular family circumstances – “

  “I’m sorry, I just don’t – Isaac hit someone? You’re sure it wasn’t an accident.”

  “It was not an accident,” said Principal Brown. “It was malicious and intentional. There were a number of teachers nearby who saw it.”

  “He just, out of nowhere, he hauled off and hit some kid in the face?”

  “Apparently there was an altercation involving his sister.”

  “Sophia hit someone?”

  “No. Chase Clifton said something to Sophia that apparently upset her, and Isaac retaliated with violence.”

  “Hang on,” said Annie irritably. “Okay. Hang on a second. What did the other kid say?”

  “I don’t know. That’s not relevant.”

  “Like hell it’s not relevant,” Annie snapped. “These are not violent children. These are kind, gentle children who had kind, gentle parents and they love each other very much and they are all each other has. So if this Clifton kid said something threatening or cruel to Sophia, something that made Isaac angry enough that he did something he’s never done before in his life, why isn't he in this meeting? Where are his parents?”

  “Chase’s father is with him in the infirmary.”

  “In the infirmary.”

  “That’s right.”

  “Because he’s the victim. My kids are the aggressors and he’s completely innocent.”

  “Are you really equating playground teasing with physical violence?”

  Annie had not thought she could get any angrier, but her whole body began to constrict and tighten with rage. She was taut as a bowstring from head to toe, ready to snap.

  “I’m well aware that physical violence is not acceptable,” she fired back, “and believe me, I will be having a conversation with Isaac about this when we get home. I’m also taking them both straight from here to meet with their therapist.”

  “An excellent idea.”

  “But if you think for one fucking second – “

  “Please watch your language, Dr. Walter, there are children in this building and this is a Catholic school –“

  “ . . . one fucking second that this Chase Clifton kid – and by the way, what the hell kind of rich white boy name is Chase? – is some innocent little lamb while Isaac is a big nasty bully, you don’t know one thing about children. I want to know what he said to my kids and I want to know what the consequences are going to be for him. I want to know that you called his damn parents in for an emergency meeting too.”

  “I can certainly understand why it’s natural that you would take your nephew’s side, Dr. Walter, but I assure you, we have the situation under control.”

  “Like hell you do.”

  “Well, be that as it may, Isaac is suspended for three days – “

  “What?”

  “And Sophia is suspended for one day.”

  “What the hell did Sophia do?”

  “I’ve already explained to you. She provoked an altercation – “

  “She damn well did not, you just said to me that this kid said something that made her cry.”

  “She provoked an altercation that turned physical. The rules are very clear here.”

  “And how long is Chase Clifton getting suspended for?”

  “Dr. Walter, I’m not interested in continuing to have this same argument with you over and over. I would advise you that your idea to take the children to see their therapist is a very good one. We understand that they are in a complicated situation, but we still cannot condone violence at this school.”

  “It’s not a ‘complicated situation,’” Annie snapped, grabbing her coat and purse and storming out. “Their parents have been dead for less than a month and a half, and they’re seven years old. You go down to that infirmary and you tell that Clifton guy that I’ll keep my kids in line if he handles his.”

  The children were waiting in the secretary’s office next door. “I’ll need you to fill out this early-release form,” she said, “so we have a record that the children were taken out before the end of the day with their guardian’s consent. And so we can get the children’s homework for them from their teachers.” Annie nodded without speaking and bent over to sign the form. “He’s the school board president
,” the secretary whispered, too quietly for the children or anyone in the office next door to hear.

  “What?”

  “Blaine Clifton,” she said under her breath. “He’s the school board president and his brother is the priest. Chase is a bully. Everyone knows it, but nobody can do anything. I’m sorry about your kids.”

  “Thank you,” said Annie, and meant it. Then she turned to the row of chairs by the front door, where Isaac and Sophia sat with their backpacks, jaws clenched and faces set like stone.

  “We’re going to see Doctor Megan,” she said crisply. “Get your things. Let’s go.”

  As she strode briskly through the parking lot, the children scurried to keep up.

  “You yelled at Ms. Brown,” Sophia said in a tone of wonderment, breaking the silence. “We heard you.”

  “I did not yell. We had a disagreement.”

  “You yelled,” said Sophia. “You were awesome.”

  “Nothing about this is awesome, Sophia,” she snapped as she opened the car door and ushered them inside. “My point with the principal was not that Isaac should not face consequences for his actions. My point was that the punishment should be levied fairly.”

  “He called me a orphan,” said Sophia in a small voice.

  “He what?”

  “We watched the Annie movie in music class today and I didn’t know what ‘orphan’ meant and at recess I asked Isaac if he knew and Chase heard me and he said ‘Orphan means you don’t have parents, like you,’ and then he said that all kids that are orphans have to go live in those scary places because nobody loves you, and then Isaac got mad and hit him.”

  Annie gripped the steering wheel so hard her knuckles turned white. “Okay,” she said, “first of all, the term ‘orphan’ has no positive or negative moral correlation. It is simply a descriptor applied to anyone whose parents have passed away. I’m one too, remember.”

  “Oh. I forgot.”

  “And so is your Uncle Michael, and Aunt Vera, and even Uncle Marcus. Everyone in this family is an orphan.”

  “Huh,” said Sophia thoughtfully. “I didn’t think of that.”

  “So you see, it’s not an insult. And Chase is wrong to behave like it is. Also, while it is true that there are children who live in group homes and other facilities – few of which, by the way, bear any resemblance to that ghastly musical – that does not mean nobody loves them. It may simply mean that the people who love them do not currently have the ability to care for them right now. In either case, the three of you have people who love you and who also have the ability to care for you, and we are going nowhere, you are stuck with us forever, so Chase was both unnecessarily cruel, and factually incorrect. Is that information helpful at all?”

  Sophia nodded.

  “Isaac?” Isaac folded his arms, stared pointedly away from her out the window, and did not respond. “Isaac, don’t think I have failed to notice that you haven’t said anything.”

  “Ughhhhhh, I don’t want to talk about it,” he snapped.

  “This isn’t like you.”

  “I said I don’t want to talk about it! Stop talking to me!”

  Annie gave up. “Have it your way,” she said, pulling into the clinic parking lot. “But you’re not going to get off this easy with Doctor Megan.”

  * * *

  Isaac was so uncharacteristically sullen and hostile the entire trip from school to Doctor Megan’s office that all Annie’s attention was focused on the strain brewing between him and Sophia. He did not seem angry at her, but she had no better luck than Annie had in getting him to respond. She seemed puzzled and unhappy, sitting at his side and talking quietly to him, but his stony face, tight with fury, did not change expression at all.

  Annie was watching them, waiting anxiously for the receptionist to call their name, when she felt a buzzing in her pocket and pulled out her phone.

  “Marcus, I can’t really talk right now, I’m in the middle of –“

  “No, it’s an emergency,” he interrupted her, “I'm at the pickup area by the school and Isaac and Sophia aren't here."

  Shit, she thought, her stomach dropping to the floor in a sudden clench of panic. Shit, shit, shit.

  “I looked everywhere,” he went on, his voice rising with near-hysteria, “I tried calling the school receptionist but the office is closed or something, it kept ringing and ringing, and I couldn’t reach Vera –“

  “Marcus, it’s okay,” she interrupted, “they’re with me.”

  “They’re with you?”

  “Yes. Vera has Lucy all day. I have the twins. Isaac hit another kid at recess after he said something mean to Sophia. The principal called me to come get them. We’re waiting to get in to see Doctor Megan.”

  There was a silence.

  “Were you planning to share this information with me at any point?” he finally said, in a frosty voice, and Annie felt her cheeks grow hot with guilt.

  She had genuinely forgotten, she hadn’t meant to leave him out, it wasn’t intentional, she had been too angry to see anything besides what was right in front of her - but she also knew exactly how this must look.

  “I’m so sorry,” she said. “I just – it was crazy, it all happened really fast, I was angry – this other kid, he said – “

  “You’re sitting in Doctor Megan’s waiting room now, you said.”

  “Yes.”

  “Just sitting there, tapping your feet, waiting, doing nothing. There’s been literally nothing preventing you from calling me since you arrived. You just didn’t think it was something I had any need to know.”

  “Marcus, I’m handling it,” she said reassuringly. “It’s fine. There’s nothing for you to do. It wasn’t personal, I swear, I just didn’t think. I’m sorry you were worried, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about picking up the kids – “

  “This isn’t about you picking up the kids without telling me,” he said harshly, “this is about how in God’s name it’s the first I’m hearing that Isaac was violent in school today. Why didn’t I get a phone call? I’m their legal guardian too.”

  There was a guilty silence, and he gave a short, dry laugh. “Let me guess,” he said. “Their secondary emergency contact is Vera.”

  She said nothing. There was nothing to say.

  “I can’t believe we’re back here again,” he said, his voice tight with anger. “I can’t believe I’m still having to convince you to include me in these decisions.”

  “Marcus, I swear –“

  “Look,” he said, cutting her off, “I’m not having this fight with you over the phone. I’m not having this fight with you while you’re in the same room with the kids after their already traumatizing day. But when you get home, you and I need to have a conversation about when the hell you’re going to stop freezing me out.” And then, before she could say anything else, he hung up.

  It always made Annie tense and off-kilter not to get the last word in an argument, so being hung up on before she could think of the right response to Marcus got under her skin like an unscratchable itch. She was so vexed by it that she didn’t notice, until Sophia tugged at her hand, that Doctor Megan’s assistant was summoning not only the children – but her too.

  Great, thought Annie. Called to the principal’s office twice in one day.

  * * *

  “I understand you share guardianship of the children with their uncle,” said Doctor Megan, without looking up from her notes. Isaac and Sophia had been – to their great dismay – separated from each other, sent into separate rooms with two of Doctor Megan’s colleagues, while Annie had drawn the short straw and gotten stuck with the woman herself.

  “That’s correct,” said Annie warily. She had never been to a therapist before and decided on the whole it seemed safest for her to say as little as possible.

  “And he is where, exactly?”

  “What, right now?”

  “Yes.”

  “Home, I guess?”

  “Home?”

&
nbsp; “Or on his way there.”

  “And can you walk me through, please, how the two of you make decisions as co-guardians about these kind of situations?”

  “I’m sorry?”

  “How did you arrive at the decision that this particular –“

  “You mean, why isn’t he here.”

  “Yes,” said Doctor Megan, looking up from her papers for the first time and fixing her frank, direct gaze on Annie. “That is what I mean.”

  “I forgot to call him,” said Annie a little defensively. "But he knows now."

  “But the school didn’t contact him because, I’m guessing, they don’t have his phone number.” She paged through her file and held up Isaac’s new patient intake registration form. “Neither, for that matter, do I.”

  “I can give it to you. That’s not a problem.”

  “Dr. Walters,” she said firmly, and Annie shut up. This was a tone of voice she recognized. This was peer to peer. Megan Sharma spent most of her days dealing with children, and occasionally with their parents, and for that she used a gentler, more reassuring voice. But Annie was a doctor too, and the other woman knew it, and suddenly the energy in the room shifted and they were done bullshitting each other. They were in Dr. Sharma’s wheelhouse now, and Annie’s weak answers weren’t cutting it anymore.

  “It’s fruitless to pretend,” said Dr. Sharma in a much more adult voice than Annie had ever heard her use before, “like you don’t understand the question I’m actually asking you. This has nothing to do with Marcus Rey’s phone number and everything to do with creating a home environment for the children that meets their emotional needs. You’re a doctor. You know about the impact on childhood psychological development in households where there is a male parental figure who does not participate in the communal emotional life of the family.”

  “I know.”

  “And I don’t just mean for Isaac, who badly needs the continued presence of a loving, adult male role model and parental figure in his life. I also mean for the girls. It sets a troubling precedent to raise women in households where all the emotional labor of parenting is placed on the female figure’s shoulders while the male figure is nonpresent.”