The Consequences Series Box Set

by Aleatha Romig

  Hoping the sunlight would improve her mood; Claire lay on the loveseat and contemplated life and death. Death seemed peaceful and predictable. She was pondering similar thoughts, thoughts she hadn’t entertained in over a year, when Tony found her staring into space. His tone was sympathetic and tender. “Claire, there’s a private memorial for Simon on Sunday, in Madison, Indiana.”

  Claire turned to her husband. Her make-up was done and her hair styled, nevertheless, her eyelids were swollen, and her eyes were distant. “Okay.” She contemplated his statement and weighed her response. “We should send flowers.”

  “No. We should attend.”

  Claire sat up. “No! We shouldn’t.” Tears once again threatened. “Tony, I haven’t been to a funeral since my parents died. I can’t go to Simon’s.”

  For the second time in two days Anthony Rawlings knelt before his wife. His tone was incredibly sweet and supportive. “I have his parents’ number. I really think you should call. I’m not telling you to. I’m saying it would be a good idea. The service is private. If they invite you or us, we should attend.”

  Claire shook her head. Speaking without crying wasn’t an option. He handed her the telephone number, kissed her gently, and went back to his office.

  It may have been half an hour, it may have been three hours, time had temporarily lost its meaning. Eventually, Claire knocked on Tony’s office door. Together they made the call. The person who answered her call hesitated before putting Mrs. Johnson on the line. “This is a difficult time. May I ask who’s calling?”

  “My name is Claire, Claire Rawlings.” She remembered Simon had a younger sister and wondered if she was who was speaking. The voice asked her to hold. Soon Simon’s mother was on the line. Claire began, “Mrs. Johnson, I’m not sure if you remember me.”

  “Of course I remember you. Thank you for calling.”

  Claire offered their condolences. Although Claire had prayed Mrs. Johnson wouldn’t extend an invitation to the memorial service, she did invite both of them. Before the conversation ended, Mrs. Johnson added, “Simon and I were very close. I know how much you meant to him. If possible, could you and Mr. Rawlings arrive early?”

  Claire looked at Tony, who raised his eyebrows and shrugged. Claire replied, “If you’d like us to, we will.”

  “Thank you, the service will begin at 2:00 PM, but the family is having a private viewing at noon. I’d appreciate it if you and Mr. Rawlings could arrive at 1:00 PM.”

  Claire said they would, and Tony disconnected the line.

  The flight to Louisville, Kentucky was quiet. Being incredibly supportive, Tony didn’t work, read his laptop, or do anything that wasn’t focused on Claire. His excessive attention added to her discomfort. Once they arrived in Louisville, a driver took them to Madison, a small quaint town on the Ohio River. It was Claire’s first visit to Indiana in years.

  The funeral home resembled a colonial mansion: brick with large white pillars. Arriving early, they sat in the car and waited. Claire knew she was fidgeting. She couldn’t help it. The entire scenario was unnerving. Finally, Tony grabbed her hand and squeezed. Claire exhaled and looked at her husband. Astounded by his sensitivity, considering this was Simon, she vocalized her thoughts. Her words came unfiltered. She didn’t have the energy to consider the possible ramifications. “Why are you being so supportive?”

  “Because I wasn’t able to support you when your parents died.”

  Her mind spun. “What? I don’t understand.”

  He held her hands. “Claire, you had to go through your parents’ deaths alone. Emily had John, but you didn’t have anyone. You said you haven’t been to a funeral since then. I couldn’t comfort you then, please let me do it now.”

  She did. Not because he wanted her to, but because she needed him to. She needed the feeling of love and support he described and melted into Tony’s embrace. When the time came, they walked into the funeral home hand in hand.

  Claire recognized Mrs. Johnson immediately: a lovely blond-haired woman with Simon’s big blue eyes. Realistically, she wasn’t much older than Tony. Claire tried to act resolved, but her emotions were too fresh, too near the surface. The two women embraced and wept. Mrs. Johnson then directed them to a private room where they were joined by Simon’s father, sister, and another woman. Claire assumed the slender pretty brunette with brown puffy eyes was Amber McCoy.

  Being incredibly resilient, Mrs. Johnson asked them to sit. Once they did, she spoke. “Thank you for coming today, Mr. and Mrs. Rawlings, I know Simon would be pleased.”

  They both acknowledged her with pleasantries. Claire immediately added, “Please, call me Claire.”

  “Claire, Simon told me he spoke with you a few months ago. I asked you here early, because I wanted to let you know how important that was for him.” She reached for Claire’s hand. Claire nodded as Mrs. Johnson continued, “You had no way of knowing how much and how long he’d pined for you. There was a time he believed if he left you alone until you achieved your career goal you would be ready to see him again, but seeing you, talking to you, and learning that you weren’t what they say…” She hesitated. “…well, just learning you are still the Claire he remembered, and most importantly, that you’re happy.” Mrs. Johnson smiled at Tony. “He was finally able to move on.”

  Claire listened, both with concern for Simon’s mother and Tony.

  Mrs. Johnson motioned toward the slender brunette. “This is Amber. She and Simon were recently engaged.”

  Claire and Tony both said hello.

  Simon’s mother continued, “Simon loved Amber very much, but he had to let you go. I want you to know, you’ll always be special to our family because our son loved you.” Claire’s chest heaved as she silently wept. Tony comforted her. “You had no way of knowing his feelings. He never conveyed them. Don’t ever think we have ill feelings toward you. How could anyone hold something against someone, when they didn’t even know it was happening?” Once again, she squeezed Claire’s hands. “I just thought you should know the importance of your short talk. He walked away knowing you were happily married, and knowing he could move on. Thank you.”

  Claire tried to smile. “I’m thankful we had the opportunity to talk.” For the first time since her consequences, she truly was.

  Then, Mrs. Johnson addressed Tony. “Mr. Rawlings, God is so funny.”

  Tony replied, “I’m sorry, I don’t follow.”

  “Mr. Rawlings, if there was one man my son idealized, besides his father, it was you.” Tony’s eyes reflected the appreciation she sent his way. “He received his start, at his dream job, in one of your companies. When he first started working for Shedis-tics, you made a few visits to their office. You probably don’t remember, but on one occasion you spoke to Simon about one of his projects. He talked about it for months. He aspired to be like you. Now you and Claire are happily married. I just think God has a sense of humor.” She looked lovingly at both of them, introduced them to the rest of the family, and added, “Please sit toward the front. It would mean a lot to Simon and it means a lot to me.”

  They did.

  Throughout the memorial, Tony held Claire’s hand. Later when she tried, she couldn’t remember the service. Between Mrs. Johnson’s words and memories of her parents’ funeral, her energy went to appearing composed, fighting the pounding in her head, and not fainting.

  On the flight home, Claire thought about Mrs. Johnson’s words: Simon aspired to be Tony. She thought about her assessment of Tony: he ruined lives with his business decisions. He wanted complete control over everyone and everything, and he could be incredibly cruel. She wondered if perhaps there wasn’t more to her husband; maybe there was a part of him she hadn’t been seeing. If Simon aspired to be Tony, maybe there was something to aspire to.

  With her head on his lap, she looked up at his face and recognized his expression. She knew he had thoughts in a million different places. She watched his strong jaw clench and unclench, his dark brown eyes, f
urrowed brow, and perfectly combed hair…

  Perhaps Tony helped lives too. After all, Mrs. Johnson believed he did. Maybe Claire needed a different perspective. Grandma Nichols once said: sometimes you can’t see the forest for the trees. Could she be too close? She knew Tony intimately, knew his flaws. Was he a different man from a distance? The voices in her head debated. Other people thought that Tony was a kind, wonderful, and generous: a benevolent businessman. Claire knew he was capable of being loving, tender, sensual, and lavish. She also knew a side of him that didn’t fit either description. Looking up, she saw her husband absently staring into space, as he continued to stroke her blonde hair. Claire appreciated his efforts over the last few days. He was trying. She exhaled deeply and closed her eyes.

  Tony remembered Claire’s expression during the funeral: so overwhelmed with grief, the kind of emotion that was only visible with the loss of someone you dearly loved. Of course, she had lost two someones.

  In his mind, he saw the church overflowing with people. Even though Officer Jordon Nichols’ death had not been in the line of duty, he received full police honors. There were uniformed police everywhere. Apparently, Shirley Nichols was also well loved and had many bereaved friends and students. Blending into the crowd wasn’t difficult. Now as Tony stroked Claire’s silky hair, he realized that was the day his plan had taken a turn. Originally, he had different designs, but watching Claire flanked by her sister, Tony knew he needed to know her. Actually, reminiscing, he knew before then that he didn’t want anyone else knowing her.

  The internship was an easy ploy to rid her of Simon. Watching the sadness from Claire and Simon Johnson’s family, there was a part of Tony which hated what happened, but it was Simon’s fault. He should have just left Claire alone, but no. His actions in Chicago resulted in the consequences today in Madison.

  Tony beheld his wife’s sleeping face on his leg. That day, so many years ago, she’d been all alone. Today, he did what he wanted to do then. It was him not Emily and not John. Claire needed him. This wasn’t an occasion for smiles, but knowing she was asleep, he grinned.

  As they landed in Iowa, Tony gently woke his wife. It was only 6:00 PM, but the sky was dark and spitting snow. They hurried from the plane to the warm waiting car. Once they were within the warm confines of the BMW, Tony asked Claire a question. “Where would you like to go for our anniversary?”

  Obediently, she replied, “Some place sunny and warm.” The desire she didn’t say aloud was alone.

  Chapter Forty-Five

  Anyone can give up. It’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.

  —Unknown

  November fluctuates between autumn and winter. Technically, winter doesn’t begin until after the winter solstice, but as it approaches, the days dramatically decrease in length and the darkness increases. Some days in November include brilliant blue skies and crisp, intense sunshine. The contrast and fluctuations in weather and life created the unpredictable pressures defining Claire’s existence. She stressed when Tony was good because she knew it may not last. She worried when he was bad because she knew how bad he could be.

  During a private girls’ lunch, Courtney approached the subject again. Since the completion of the silent auction, the frequency of their lunch dates had decreased. Claire desperately missed them. Therefore, following Simon’s memorial, she was elated to receive another invitation accompanied by Tony’s eagerness for her to accept. He said, “I think you need some fun.”

  She couldn’t have agreed more.

  The two ladies spent the afternoon in Bettendorf eating, shopping, walking, and talking. Courtney knew about Simon. She knew an old friend of Claire’s had approached her at one of Tony’s speaking events, and that Tony wasn’t pleased. She didn’t know the entire story. She also knew about Simon’s sudden death and Tony’s remarkable support.

  Courtney made Claire laugh, and in Claire’s precarious state of mental health, that was monumental. Courtney talked about the impending holidays. She expectantly waited for her children to return home from their points of interest and settle in for holiday celebrations. Claire liked the Simmons children, who weren’t really children. They were in their twenties, one still in graduate school, the other beginning a career as an investment banker in St. Louis. Neither was married, but their son Caleb had a steady girlfriend. Courtney liked her and hoped Caleb would propose soon. She and Brent wanted to be grandparents. It seemed strange to Claire that she was only two years older than Caleb and yet, Courtney was her best friend.

  Another exciting topic for Courtney was her impending trip. It seemed that Tony finally recognized Brent’s hard work and awarded him a substantial Christmas bonus. He told Brent before the holidays so Brent could plan a nice surprise for Courtney; however, Brent didn’t want to risk Courtney’s disapproval. So he included her in the planning from the beginning. They were to going to go to Fiji, a trip similar to Tony and Claire’s honeymoon. Refusing to miss Christmas with their children, Brent and Courtney weren’t leaving until after the first of the year. Courtney asked Claire a lot of questions about Fiji. Courtney’s excitement was contagious. Claire told Courtney everything she could remember, mostly the destination equaled paradise and don’t worry about packing too many clothes, they didn’t seem to stay on in paradise.

  Courtney understood Claire’s privacy issues. Most of their confidential discussions occurred while walking or driving. Claire couldn’t risk someone overhearing. “Honey, I’m really worried about you. I know losing a friend is hard, but it just seems like you have been going down since before Simon’s death.”

  Claire didn’t even try to act fine. “I just don’t know. I feel empty and tired all the time.”

  “If there is anything I can do for you…” She squeezed Claire’s hand… “I’ll do it.”

  “I think afternoons like this are the best medicine.”

  Courtney agreed laughter would help. So they laughed. They walked in shops, read funny cards and plaques, and had fun.

  When Claire returned to the estate that night, she felt lighter. She tried with all her might to continue the feeling into her home and her suite. The fact Tony tried to help, wasn’t lost on Claire. He immediately showed her an e-mail from Emily and volunteered, “She wants you to call early before John gets home. I think you should call before dinner.”

  Together, they went to Tony’s office and Claire tried again. She’d been trying to reach Emily since the first of November. It had been nearly two weeks. This time Emily answered on the first ring. “Hello?”

  Talking on the speaker phone, Claire replied, “Hi, Emily, it’s Claire. We’ve been worried. Is everything all right?”

  “I don’t think so. I asked you to call early so I could talk before John came home.”

  “I was out with Courtney today. I called as soon as I got your e-mail.” That was all true.

  “John isn’t home yet. Is Anthony there?”

  Claire hesitated, should she lie or be truthful? “He is. Do you want to talk to him?”

  “I don’t know, maybe he can help.” Tony looked at Claire and raised his eyebrows.

  Claire offered, “I could put you on speaker phone, so he can hear too.”

  Emily said that would be a good idea. Tony pushed a button to create an audible change and said hello. When Emily said hello, they heard her voice crack.

  Claire inquired, “Emily, what’s wrong?”

  “You know the deadline for partnership decisions was the first?” Claire said she did. Tony acknowledged her audibly too. “Well, it’s been extended,” Emily added.

  Claire broke in, always the optimist. “So, that’s not necessarily bad. They’re still undecided.”

  “But now the auditor, the person verifying all the accounting information, is questioning John, a lot. John has been asked to verify everything. He’s rummaging through old records and spending hour after hour doc
umenting and authenticating his previous work.” Claire and Tony were engaged in concerned eye contact.

  Tony responded first, “Emily, I’m sure it’s some kind of formality. John works for a very prestigious firm. They just want every T crossed and every I dotted.”

  “Anthony, I hope you’re right.” They could hear her sniffles. “He pretends to be unconcerned, but I can tell that isn’t the case.”

  Claire offered, “He’s probably sick of the controlling procedure and stress.” She could relate. Trying to rationalize and validate every move you make can become tiresome.

  “I believe he’s offended. Claire, you know John. He’d never do anything that wasn’t completely honest and honorable.”

  Claire debated her response. She feared adding to John’s fan club; nevertheless, before she could formulate her answer, Tony replied, “We did our research prior to offering John a job. I know he’s one of the most honest and honorable attorneys anywhere.”

  Claire scanned her husband’s expression. She only saw sincerity. She added, “I second that, Em. It’ll be okay. Let them scrutinize John’s records, there’s nothing dishonest or deceitful to discover.”

  “Thank you, really, both of you. John didn’t want me telling you. That’s why I haven’t answered your calls, but I really wanted you to know.”

  Claire felt her internal time clock ticking. “Emily, please keep us posted—”

  Tony interrupted, “If I can be of any assistance, perhaps we can get together for Thanksgiving again this year?” Claire watched her husband with astonishment as he continued speaking. “We could meet in New York City or, maybe closer to Troy, if that’d be easier for you.”

  Emily thanked them both. She’d think about Thanksgiving. She appreciated Anthony’s offer of help. It was nice to just talk with them. “I promise to keep you updated. I better go in case John gets home soon. Thank you.”