Concealed (Virus Book 1)

by RJ Crayton

  She tiptoed the remaining steps to the closed bedroom door and was standing there listening, waiting to hear Lijah’s door shut, when there was a knock on the door in front of her. She jumped back just as Lijah said, “Dad, you in there?”

  Her heart hammered in her chest, but she said nothing. She remembered closing her father’s door, but she hadn’t locked it. Would Lijah didn’t try to look in? The door knob seemed to taunt her. Would she see it turn as Lijah opened it and came in. She said a silent prayer that it didn’t turn and edged away from the door slowly, wondering if she’d have time to get back under the bed. Thank god the rooms were carpeted. Maybe she could move quickly without him hearing. She was slowly creeping back toward the bed when she heard Lijah blow out in relief. Then nothing. He must have moved on. She edged closer to the door again, straining to hear better, wondering where he went. She waited to hear him open and close the door to his room. She listened more, and finally heard the door open, then close, but it sounded softer than it should. No matter. She slowly turned the handle and opened the door a sliver just to make sure the coast was clear.

  That was when she heard the other voice. “So what did you want to talk about?” It was Josh.

  The door had sounded quiet because it hadn’t been Lijah’s bedroom door; it had been the front door. She stood at the doorway, unsure if she should move. She listened, as curious as Josh about why Lijah had asked him there. And curiouser still as she realized Lijah had wanted to talk to Josh alone. That was why he’d been checking to make sure the apartment was empty.

  “I thought you were going to tell her,” Lijah said.

  “It’s your mother’s birthday,” Josh replied. She perked up her ears. “I told you I wouldn’t see her. I told you that I’d tell her I didn’t like her that way. But I’m not an asshole. I’m not going to do that after she’s already told me she’s upset.”

  Lijah sighed. “Fine, but you have to do it soon. She’s into you and the more I say no, the more she rebels. You’re the only one who can quash this.”

  There was silence for a moment.

  Lijah spoke again, his voice chastising. “Don’t do this, man,” he said. “You promised me you were going to stay away from my little sister.”

  “I am,” Josh said, defensively. “I keep my word. It’s just that it seems like that would be mean to her. OK? I do like her, and I don’t want to hurt her.”

  “And when she finds out?” Lijah asked. “When she finds out about you, you don’t think that’s going to hurt her?”

  Josh didn’t reply. Elaan wished she could see them, not just hear. She wanted to see Josh’s expression, his body language, something more than their voices.

  “Yes, that will hurt her,” Josh said, finally. “Still, me telling her I’m not into her is going to hurt her, too.” There was a pause, and then Josh spoke again, a slightly hopeful twinge in his voice. “Why don’t we just let things progress for the moment? She seems happy when we’re together. Why not just enjoy this for now, and if she does have to find out, deal with it later?”

  Lijah snarled, “Because she’s my sister and waiting for later makes it worse.”

  Josh was silent again.

  Lijah spoke. “Listen, Josh, you and me, we’re different, OK?” He paused a minute as if waiting for a response, but no sound came. Perhaps Josh nodded, because Lijah continued. “We don’t get the girl, and we don’t get happily ever after. Pretending we do isn’t OK. I get that you like her, but she can’t be with you. It’s not good for her.”

  “But, she’s,” Josh started to say.

  “She’s my sister, and you’re to stay away from her. You know the reasons why, and maybe if she wasn’t my sister, I wouldn’t care that she’d end up getting hurt. Maybe I’d say, let her make her own decisions. But, she is my sister, and she doesn’t know the full situation. Even if she did, she’s young and foolish and she would make a decision based on the here and now, not on the future, not on the rest of her life.”

  “Well, the fucking world could come to an end up there, and down here, too,” Josh spat. “It seems stupid to make decisions on a future that might not be.”

  “They’re close to a cure,” Lijah said. “Really close. So until we think that everyone up there doesn’t have a chance, I’m not letting you do this to her. You say you care about her. Then, do the right thing.”

  Elaan heard the heavy clomping of footsteps. Finally, Josh said, “Fine. I’ll tell her tomorrow. Not today, OK?”

  Lijah didn’t seem to offer a response, at least not one Elaan could hear. Then, her brother said, “Come on, let’s go up to the lab. We need to give your dad a blood sample.”

  She heard the men exit the apartment, and then she came out of her father’s room. What the hell was that about? She didn’t understand, but she was going to find out.

  Chapter 3

  Elaan went back to her father’s bed and took more care to make the room just as she’d found it, straightening the bedspread, moving the computer back to exactly where it had been, or as close as she could remember.

  She wanted to talk to Josh alone. Unfortunately, he wasn’t available. Right now, he was probably up in the lab with Lijah and Kingston Wells. She decided she’d work off some steam in the gym. She went to her room, grabbed her gym bag, and headed off. She’d figure out what to say when she managed to find Josh alone, without Lijah there to pressure him.

  Elaan went upstairs to the exercise room, where she rode the bike and walked the treadmill. She liked the smell of the gym. It reminded her of normal life in that it smelled of sweat and people and hard work. So much of the compound smelled of underground, earthy and moist, not like the world she remembered. But here, and when she worked in the kitchen, cooking, those places smelled more like the world she remembered.

  In addition to her, two kids and their mother were also in the gym at the moment. Sophie was eight and Brad was five. They were among the handful of kids in the complex, most ranging in ages from four to ten.

  Sometimes Elaan envied the little kids because there were more than three of them, unlike her, Lijah, and Josh. If she wanted to hang out with people remotely close to her own age, she was restricted to Josh or her brother. Lijah had always been somewhat solitary, and down here, he seemed to grow even more so, which meant Elaan spent a lot of time with Josh. They talked together, laughed together, and it seemed only logical that they might be together.

  “Where’s Joshua today?” asked Nina Sterling, Sophie and Brad’s mother. Nina was a spitfire of a woman with auburn hair, a svelte physique, and a take-no-prisoners attitude. Nina was the one adult Elaan considered more like a friend. She was always kind to Elaan, seeming to think it must be infinitely hard to be stuck down here, even if it was for safety. Actually, in Elaan’s case, she was one of the few people who didn’t need protection from the virus. But Nina was right. It was still difficult.

  “I’m not sure,” Elaan responded, and with a mischievous grin, added, “I think he and my brother are off somewhere up to no good.”

  Nina laughed. “It’s good for boys to be up to no good sometimes.”

  “That’s not what you say to me,” Brad interrupted. He gave his mother a hard stare.

  Elaan and Nina both laughed. “I said ‘sometimes,’” Nina said to the boy. “Besides, I let you run around plenty.”

  Elaan smiled and excused herself. She wasn’t in the mood for more chatter. She grabbed her gym bag and headed to the showers. The apartments had no bathrooms, showers, or kitchens, making all those activities communal. Elaan supposed the lack of bathrooms had something to do with the plumbing. It was probably easier not to run piping to each unit. But she didn’t know for sure. She did know the lack of kitchens was intentional. Her father told her that the designers didn’t want people eating in the apartments. Because the place was intended to be used in an emergency, they wanted no hoarding of food by individuals. They also wanted to limit any possible infestation of vermin, by keeping food to specific
areas. It wasn’t Elaan’s ideal living situation, but it couldn’t be changed, so she dealt with it.

  After she was clean, Elaan dropped her bag at her room, and then went to Josh’s door. She figured he would be back from the lab by now, presuming Lijah hadn’t talked him into doing something else. She really needed to talk to Josh. This wasn’t a TV movie or trite, ill-plotted novel where she would wander around for months snooping so she could figure out what that overheard conversation had meant. She was just going to face him head on, admit to what she’d overheard, and ask him to explain. Her brother might have thought she was immature and foolish, but Josh didn’t. She knew that. He respected her, valued her opinion. He’d tell her, if she asked. At least, that was what she desperately wanted to believe.

  Besides, she knew of no surreptitious way to squeeze the information out of him. Even if she did, she didn’t think she would. She didn’t believe in lying to people. She got that from her mother. Her father believed in “white lies” to help smooth a situation over. He called them the “grease of society.” They allowed people to interact with each other without coming to blows. Her mother, on the other hand, believed you could and should tell people the truth. It had been wrong of her to snoop on her father and eavesdrop on her brother — that, she knew. That had been a mistake. One she made because she was already feeling so out of sorts because of the day, but she needed to do the right thing and own up to what she had done. She also needed answers. She fingered the chain around the neck, pulling up the ring at the bottom.

  After kissing the ring for luck, she tucked it beneath her shirt again and knocked on the door. Shortly after, Josh opened it, and all her bravado, all her desire to do the right thing melted away. A few strands of brown hair hung over his forehead and his brilliant green eyes stared at her hungrily. He had a smattering of freckles on each cheek, too.

  “Hey, Elaan,” he said, his voice dripping with gladness and a half smile on his lips.

  “Hey,” she said back. “Can I come in?”

  He scanned the corridor, his eyes searching for something, perhaps for spies or boogeymen. Most likely, he was looking for her brother. “Lijah doesn’t know I’m here,” she said, hoping to ease his mind.

  He stepped back and made room for her to enter. She walked in, right past him. Most units were set up exactly the same. Josh and his father had a two-bedroom unit since it was just the two of them, so Elaan walked through the living room to the hallway, turned right, and walked into Joshua’s room. It was as she remembered it. A Washington Redskins bedspread, a desk, and a vintage poster of running back John Riggins hanging on the wall. Other than that, the room was sparse. The notification that they’d be able to move into the SPC came at the last minute. Families had to move in a hurry, grabbing only a few things to bring with them. At least for most people. Elaan had already been in quarantine at that point, so she’d not been able to bring anything from home. Neither had Josh, but Josh’s father had managed to get these two things from his son’s room at home. They both bled burgundy and gold, as Washington football fans tended to say.

  Elaan sat on the bed, and waited. Josh came in a minute later. He paused a moment, studying her sitting on his bed. His expression seemed caught somewhere between terror and joy. “What are you doing?” he asked, his voice coming out slightly uneven.

  “Close the door,” she said. “I want to talk to you, privately.”

  He looked at her for a moment, his face betraying an internal debate about what he should say. He took a breath, his face resolute, shut the door, walked over, and sat beside her. His legs, like hers, dangled over the side of the bed. Their bodies nearly touched, and Elaan had a desire to scoot closer. “Is this about your mom?” he asked, softly, his voice kind, reassuring.

  “No,” she said, meeting his gaze. “This is about us.” She leaned in, pressed her lips to his, kissing him. He seemed surprised at first, but then he responded, slipping his tongue into her mouth, exploring. His slid his hands into her curly hair, not even caring that it was still damp from the shower. His mouth on hers made her feel alive, sent tingles through the rest of her body, and she wanted to linger. Only, he pulled away from her and stood up.

  “Elaan,” he said. “You shouldn’t have kissed me.” He seemed unable to face her, his eyes intent on staring at the floor.

  “You kissed me back.”

  “I’m a guy,” he mumbled, still unable to meet her eyes. “It was a reflex.”

  She frowned, not sure why he was going along with Lijah on this. Her resolve to confront him returned with a vengeance.

  He took a couple of steps away from her, nearing his bedroom door. It was as if he literally needed to have distance between them before he could speak. His interest in the floor waned and he finally locked eyes with her. “If you want to talk about us, the truth is,” he said, pausing, taking in a breath, seeming to need fortification for what he was about to say. “I don’t like you that way. I just want to be friends.”

  She shook her head and couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re a terrible liar, Josh.” She was surprised by how emboldened she felt. It was the kiss. The kiss had confirmed the truth she’d overheard. Josh was into her.

  “I’m not a liar,” his lips said, but his eyes asked, how do you know?

  “I heard you this morning. In our apartment. You and Lijah.”

  His mouth popped open, and he stared, waiting for her to say more.

  “I know this is Lijah’s idea — you telling me that lie, that you’re not into me. I know you are, and I know you want our relationship to be more than friends. So, why are you going along with Lijah? What is the secret that you think will hurt me?”

  Josh stared a moment more, his lips moving ever so slightly as if he was prepared to confess all to her. She gave him an encouraging nod, and that was when he clamped his mouth shut.

  She stood and walked toward him. He took another step back. “I don’t understand why you can’t tell me, Josh,” she said. “We’ve been here for three months, and in that time, we’ve gotten close. We’ve shared our thoughts and feelings about being here, about being in this place, things we didn’t tell anybody but each other. I’ve always been a good friend to you. You can tell me this. Whatever it is, you can trust me. I swear I won’t tell anyone.”

  He walked past Elaan, back to his bed, sat down, and shook his head. “I can’t,” he whispered, still shaking his head. “I—” he started, then stopped. “I just can’t.”

  Elaan walked toward him. She stopped in front of him and put a hand on his shoulder. “You can trust me,” she said, hoping it would sway him.

  He bit his lip, and she thought he might waver. “I know I can trust you,” he said, his green eyes focused solely on her. He grabbed her and pulled her close to him. It was the first time he’d ever folded her in his arms, and it felt completely right, like this was the one place she belonged. He tipped his head toward her and kissed her again, a slow, smoldering kiss that made her forget everything she had just been thinking. Her mind was blank except for the part that processed senses. That was wide awake, taking in his scent, the feel of his lips on hers, the way his hands felt as he pressed them gently into her back.

  He pulled away and smiled. “I trust you, Elaan,” he said. “But the secret I have isn’t entirely mine. I can’t tell you.”

  She frowned. “But you can tell Lijah?”

  Josh shook his head. “I didn’t tell him. He found out another way.”

  Elaan opened her mouth to ask how, but Josh shook his head. “I can’t say any more. I didn’t tell Lijah, but that doesn’t mean it hasn’t been helpful to have someone to talk to about it. I didn’t bring him into this, and it’s not fair for me to do that to you.”

  She pulled away from him, the euphoria of a moment ago sliding away. He trusted her, but he wasn’t going to tell her the truth. That wasn’t a whole lot of trust. “I would never tell your secret,” she said.

  “It’s not my secret alone, and I can’t t
ell you,” he said, firmly. He shook his head. “Maybe Lijah was right. He knows you better than I do, and maybe he knew that you could never accept me having a secret, nor could you accept not knowing the secret.”

  “Lijah is not right,” she said. A primal urge to deny that Lijah was correct had forced the words from her mouth before she’d had a chance to process them. Or maybe it was an urge to convince Josh that he could trust her more than he trusted Lijah. Though, she wondered if, in fact, Lijah was a little right. She was her mother’s daughter, and secrets weren’t something she wanted. But she did want Josh.

  Josh stood up and stroked her cheek. “I should tell Lijah you overheard us. He should know that you know I want to be with you.”

  “I knew you wanted to be with me before.” Elaan raised an eyebrow.

  He leaned in and kissed her. “I guess I wasn’t that good at keeping that a secret,” he said. “But at least now if Lijah knows what you heard, he’ll know that there’s no reason for me to pretend I don’t feel the way I do.” He blushed and looked down. “I just hope that you still feel the same way knowing there’s something I can’t tell you.”

  “I—” she started, but realized she wasn’t sure what she wanted to say. She didn’t know if she could accept Josh’s secret, especially since Lijah thought the secret would hurt her. But she also knew she wanted to accept it, because she wanted Josh. She felt so ambivalent at the moment. She needed more information — information Josh wasn’t willing to share. She supposed she needed to talk to her brother. “I should tell Lijah,” she said.

  Josh shook his head. “No, he’ll yell at you, and he’ll be mad at you,” he said. “The least I can do is offer you a little buffer zone. If I talk to him first, he’ll have had a chance to cool off by the time you see him. He’ll have had a chance to realize that your eavesdropping didn’t change that much in the grand scheme of things.”

  “Didn’t change much?” she asked, touching his hand.