Conspiring (This #2.5)

by J. B. McGee

  “Veronica.” I love the way he says my name. Not condescending or arrogant, but sweet, sexy, and full of desire.

  “Yeah?” I whisper.

  I hear him drag in a breath. “Let’s be real. We both know if we meet at Joe’s we’ll still end up at your place. And if you can’t even eat or keep food down, is it such a great idea for you to be drinking?”

  He’s right. I can’t drink. I would love to show Bradley if he’s there that I’m with him but in a way that would be obvious that I was just trying to make him jealous. I need to quit thinking about what Bradley would think or do. I need to quit thinking about him, period. “You have a point. So you’ll come by after practice, then?”

  “Yep, it’s a date.”

  The next few hours are going to be torture for me. They will be all the foreplay I need. “I can’t wait.” I can’t wait to lose myself, all of this worry, and all of this confusion in him.

  Since I hung up with Ian, I have been in a better mood. When I got home, I immediately stripped out of my pant suit and heels. When I was deciding what to wear, the thought occurred to me to wear the outfit Ian picked out for me on Sunday, those cheerleader shorts and that Carolina girl shirt.

  I climbed into my bed and wrapped myself in my comforter like a small child, huddled into a ball. The combination of the crying, the emotions, and knowing that I probably have a long night ahead of me made succumbing to my fatigue even easier. What better way to pass time than to sleep it away.

  I can’t believe how tired I really was when I wake up at eight. I set up my computer on the love seat with a hot cup of tea, and start to catch up on the work I didn’t do today; a good distraction from the anticipation of tonight.

  Not even thirty minutes later my doorbell pings, causing me to jump. It’s too early for Ian. This is when I hate living alone. I don’t like being here by myself at night, even if it isn’t completely dark yet.

  A mental list is playing in my mind of who it could possibly be. I peek through the hole holding my breath. My heart is beating so hard I can hear it. I let out a breath of relief when I see Ian standing there holding bag full of what I assume is food.

  I unlock the door and open it, excited, but puzzled. “You’re early.”

  He raises an eyebrow while he eyes me up and down. “Are you complaining?” His lips curve into a smile.

  His inspecting gaze reminds me of my outfit. That smile makes me think he must like it. I’ve not been able to take my eyes off of his since I opened the door. I am transfixed on him. “No. Not at all. You just scared me. I wasn’t expecting you for at least another hour.” I extend my arm to invite him into the foyer.

  There is a silent, ferverish current between us, at least for me there is. He walks in and heads towards the kitchen. When he reaches the table at the end of the foyer, he mumbles something. I can’t understand what he said, but he seems frustrated. This is not how I thought tonight would start. He seems completely unaffected by me. This is awkward. I just want to kick him out, and go back to bed, swearing off all men.

  He drops the bag carelessly, turning to me. In one stride my body is thrust back into the door. The greedy need between us is like the gravity of the earth. You know it’s there, and no matter how much you resist it, you can’t deny it. You can’t avoid it. You ultimately are pulled down, grounded. When his lips crash into mine, it’s just as I had hoped. All my worries, all my fears, and all of my confusion are gone in an instant.

  His hand fists through my hair as he pulls me in closer, deepening the kiss. Like the struggle of tug of war, I push him back, and immediately wrestle his gray shirt off of his hot, toned soccer physique. This is different than the last time. It’s less mind games and more hunger, more need.

  He barely stops kissing me as he mirrors my action. He swiftly pulls my shirt over my head tossing it in our path on the way to the bedroom. Breathlessly, he groans, “Do you know how hard it was for me to dress you in this Sunday?”

  I shake my head playfully, “Uh uh, tell me.”

  “All I could picture was you just like this, and me stripping it off of you.”

  Our kisses are passionate, hurried, and intense. Our hands are furiously fondling each other. Suddenly the backs of my knees are on my mattress. It only takes a tap for him to flick me back onto my bed. I blush as I remember him so tenderly dressing me Sunday. We both had only been able to think about this scenario.

  Unlike the first time we were together, where he took his sweet time teasing me, building the anticipation, our time apart has been all the anticipation we need. The ache in me for him to fill me is becoming more than I can bear.

  He stops for a moment, drinking me in with his eyes, studying me up and down. “Do you know how badly I have wanted to rip your clothes off?”

  “What’s stopping you?”

  “You look so damn cute like this,” he says before he reaches for the waist band, and snatches my shorts away.

  “No bra last time, this time no panties. You are so sexy.”

  He kisses his way up my legs, to the insides of my thighs. I gasp as his tongue leaves a trail of fire on my sensitive skin. He reaches my folds, and his tongue flutters back and forth, up, down, and all around. My arousal is building with each touch. I buck off the bed. Just as my body starts to shudder, he stops.

  He unbuckles his belt, and slowly pulls it off. While he’s slowing the pace, my urgency hasn’t relented. I want him. I sit up, but he pushes me back down. “Just watch.”

  “I need you. Hurry up,” I beg.

  He picks my hand up and places it in between my legs. “Please yourself until I undress. Let me watch you.”

  As much as Bradley and I have done, he never asked me to touch myself. I’ve never done this before. Ian’s so different tonight than he was last time, but I like it. It’s just what I needed. I’m drunk on him, just the way I wanted to be.

  I start to move my fingers around my soaked opening.

  Ian’s watching, smiling, “Ah, yes. You’re so wet. See, that turns you on so much.”

  I watch as he lets his shorts drop to the floor. He shimmies out of his boxers, grabbing his length, caressing it. “Ian, I want you.”

  “You’re about to have me, baby.”

  He pulls my legs towards him, and flips me so that I’m on my stomach. He holds my legs at his hips and rams into me from behind. “You said maybe when I asked if you liked it rough.”

  He sinks deeper. “Do you like this?”

  “Ah,” I moan.

  “Tell me. Do you like it? I want to hear you,” he commands as he pounds into me again.

  “Yes. Faster,” I demand.

  “Tell me. What took you so long to call me?”

  “I don’t know.” I can’t tell him the real reason as to why it took me so long. I just want him to speed up. I don’t want to talk.

  “I’m going to take this slow, torture you the way you’ve tortured me since Sunday.”

  That pisses me off. “I was sick,” I hiss.

  “You could have called and told me you were okay.” He barely moves, teasing me.

  “I told you I didn’t want anything more when I got out of your car.”

  “Then why am I here?”

  “Because I wanted you back inside of me. Besides, why didn’t you call me? It works both ways.”

  He pulls out. Dammit. “Because I wanted to hear you say you wanted me.”

  “Fine, I want you. Back in. Now.”

  “Ask nicely,” he chuckles.

  “Please, Ian. I want you back inside of me.”

  Swiftly he plows back into me, filling me as cry out because every move he makes consumes me. He sets a hurried rhythm. The pleasure is building inside of me. Every grunt he makes as he ravages me sends me farther over the edge until my body is erupting like a volcano, convulsing and quaking.

  “Yeah, that’s it,” he growls as I feel him follow.

  He flips me back over and chastely kisses my lips. “Next time, don’t t
ake so long to call me back.” His eyes never leave mine as he puts his clothes back on. I’m yearning for more when he walks out of my room. He hollers over his shoulder, “That should have helped your appetite. Eat.”

  I am flabbergasted by his boldness, but I must admit I find it so incredibly sexy. If I had the energy I would run after him, but I don’t. I pull my duvet up and cover my naked, sated body as I drift off to sleep.

  Chapter 10

  Ian

  Veronica doesn’t know that I’ve been following her. At least I don’t think she does. It’s very unlike me to act like such a stalker. I don’t know what she’s doing. She’s just been sitting in her car as if she’s waiting on someone.

  The last six months of my life has felt so empty and dull. The time, although brief, we spent together was the best time of my life. I realized that I was falling in love with her, that I am in love with her.

  I was such a douche. I don’t know that I’d blame her if she never forgives me. In the past, I’ve always made poor decisions, and it looks like that is going to be the story of my life. Ian has the best girl in the world, and he finds a way to screw it up.

  Lindsey doesn’t count because she was a bitch. She was a bad distraction, a sign of my weakness. I should have never let her come between me and Gabby. Stupid hormonal teenager that I was gave into peer pressure. I know I broke Gabby’s heart. I didn’t understand at the time how special she really was.

  I run my fingers through my hair as I accept that I let the first love of my life slip away, shattering her. It’s harder to swallow the fact that I’ve shattered Veronica. I have to fix it for the sake of our child. I have to put us back together. I am not proud that I knocked her up, but it is what it is. I’m least proud of how I reacted. That I ran away like a scared little boy, like a coward. I was scared – I’m still scared. I feel like I’m still a kid myself. I have a lot of growing up to do, but I can. I will do it for her and for our little guy. Or maybe it’s a little girl. The thought of a little Veronica running around makes my chin quiver as I fight back tears. I don’t cry. I don’t know that I can take much more of this.

  I can’t believe my eyes. I quickly swipe the tears away to make sure that what I’m seeing is real. Gabby. My Gabby. That is way too big of a coincidence. What in the hell are they up to? Part of me wants to jump out of my car, charge them, and demand answers. But Veronica has yet to get out of her car, and Gabby doesn’t seem to even know Veronica is there. I don’t want the first time I talk to Veronica to be confrontational. I definitely don’t want to have to go into the entire ex spiel if she doesn’t know Gabby. I decide I’ll wait and see how this unfolds before I play my cards.

  Gabby walks into the building with an overnight bag. She looks good. No, she looks better than good. I’ve always wanted her to be happy. She deserves happiness more than anyone in the world.

  A few minutes after Gabby goes inside, Veronica follows. It’s strange seeing the two loves of my life in the same place. Except, one of those girls is my future, carrying the child I almost walked away from. I will not lose them.

  I feel like I’m in some episode of a crime TV show. Crazy stalker ex-boyfriend watches as the ex-girlfriends conspire on how to take him down. It is taking every ounce of self-control for me to not march myself into that building and demand answers from them.

  I know I have to be careful and do this right. I can’t have Veronica think any less of me than she already does. I’m an expert at ruining things. So if my knee jerk reaction is to run inside, I’m going to do the opposite this time.

  I can’t imagine what they are doing in this upscale apartment building that is taking so long. I feel beads of sweat on my forehead. I brush them away with my clammy palms. I realize that I feel like I’m in a car in the summer. Like I felt the first time I was in a car alone with Gabby. Except this time, there’s no fun and games to be played. My entire life is on the line, playing out before my eyes as if I’m a bystander. I feel helpless and powerful all at the same time. I have the power to change my future. No one else can do that for me. I have to man up.

  I see the door to the building swing open, and it’s Veronica. She looks upset. I realize I can’t take it any longer. This is my chance. I jump out of my car. “Veronica!”

  I quickly glance both ways, crossing the street, “Veronica. Wait.”

  She finally turns and sees me. It’s not the facial expression I expected, but again, can’t say I blame her. She looks like she’s seen a ghost.

  I’m panting, completely out of breath. “Wait, I need to talk to you.” I hunch over resting my hands on my knees.

  She stops and crosses her arms. She looks incredible. I loved her long hair, but now that I’m close to her, I can see how this short haircut makes her eyes that much more incredible. Even seven months pregnant, she is unbelievably sexy. She awakens body parts that I haven’t used in a long time. I don’t want her to know that I know Gabby. I want to see if she’ll tell me why she was here. “What are you doing here? Who were you here to see?”

  “Not that it’s any of your damned business, but I was here to see Bradley Banks. It was never your baby, Ian. It’s his. I want to be with him,” she hisses.

  I’m hurt, but I’m not crushed because I know she’s lying to me. I’m a good guy, but I know my way around a doctor’s office. After she told me she was pregnant and it was mine, I had to find out if they had done a pregnancy test at the urgent care I took her to when she was sick. I pulled a few strings. I know that she wasn’t pregnant that Sunday. She had bronchitis. She was coughing so hard it was making her vomit.

  She was prescribed antibiotics, which caused her birth control to be ineffective. I know this baby is ours. We conceived it the night I skipped out on soccer practice early. The night I didn’t use a condom because I thought she was on the pill. I had seen them in her cabinet looking for a coffee mug that Sunday. I was so caught up in the moment that it never occurred to me she may have been given an antibiotic. Stupid.

  My face is deadpan. “You’re lying. I know it’s mine.”

  She narrows her eyes. “There’s no way you could know that.”

  “Yes, I do. And so do you.”

  She looks away. “Well it doesn’t matter.”

  I pull her chin back to look at me. “It does matter. It’s my baby.”

  “Well I want him, and he’s moved on with this bitch named Gabby.”

  I wondered what the connection to her was. I’m none too happy Veronica’s called her a bitch. But I don’t have time to deal with ex-girlfriend drama right now. “Do you love him? Bradley?”

  She looks away again. “Yes.”

  I stare down at the ground, fighting back my emotions. My voice cracks as I speak the next question, “Do you love me?”

  There’s a pause before she crushes me. “I thought I did, but it was all a big mistake. I screwed up. I just want everything to go back to the way it was before I met you that night. That’s when everything turned upside down in my life.” She throws her hands in the air. “You yourself said you weren’t ready to be a father. He can provide this baby a life you can’t, a life you’re not ready for.”

  “If that’s what you really want, then, fine.” Who was I kidding? I am not father material. And the thought of Gabby with the Bradley Banks makes me want to punch him in the face. There is no way she can be happy with him. Even if she thinks she is, there is no way that it will last. She can’t go through anymore heartbreak. I won’t stand by and let him do to her what I did. And I’ll be damned if I’m going to lose both of my women to him. “I’ll distract Gabby.” I run my hands through my hair. I can’t believe I’m doing this. “You do your thing with him.”

  She shakes her head from side-to-side. “Do you really think that will work?”

  “Yes. Just promise me that you’ll send me pictures of our baby?”

  Tears stream down her face, and I’m about to lose it, too. I am not sure she really wants this, but she’s so stubborn. Ther
e’s always been an unstated game between us of who is in control, who has the power. I always win. This is the one time I thought I had all the right cards, and now I find out they are jokers. I am determined to not let her see me break down.

  “I will,” she cries.

  Well, that’s a relief. I deserve this. After all the hurt I’ve caused the both of them, I deserve to have my heart handed to me on a platter with a dagger through it. “All right, well get out of here. I’ll keep an eye out for Gabby and figure out what I’m going to do.” I pull her forehead to my lips. “I love you. It’s the only reason I’m going to do this.” I turn and run back to my car as fast as I can. I have to be away from her. I have to let go of all of this.

  Epilogue

  Ian

  It hasn’t been long since I composed myself in my car when I see Gabby come running out and get into her car. I have no clue what Veronica did or said, but it clearly has hurt her. I am torn between my two loves. Part of me wishes I’d never suggested this. The other part of me just wants to save Gabby. To make up to her the hurt I’ve caused her in the past.

  It only takes a second before she’s slamming the door in my face. Again, I don’t know what I expected. I could have never predicted my day would have ended up like this. I push my hand to stop the door. “Gabs. C’mon. I need to talk to you.”

  She closes her eyes for a moment before she speaks. I can tell she’s on the verge of crying. I am not sure if it’s about me or him. She closes her eyes once more before she says, “I can’t…no, I don’t want hear what you have to say right now.”

  I deserve that. “Gabs,” I plead.

  “No. You are the absolute last person I want to see or talk to right now. Move your hand, or I’ll scream.”

  Gabby’s always had a dramatic flair. Good grief. “It’s just me. I’m the same Ian. I would never do anything to physically hurt you. There’s no need to scream.” I furrow my brows. “What the hell is wrong with you?”