by Gillian Zane
“You and the sniffing. Always smelling me. I’m going to stop wearing deodorant, see how I smell then.” His only response was a low chuckle.
“Holy fuck.” I doubled over in pain, cramps in my stomach nearly sending to my knees. My only saving grace, Drake’s arm, which I clung to like a sinking ship. I was shaking badly, my entire body shivering with…want. Need. Pain.
“Cassidy.” Drake’s hands were holding my face. I was low. Was I on the floor?
“Never liked when people called me Cassidy,” I whispered, or did I think that?
“Then why do you go by Cassidy?” Drake slipped an arm around me and I felt my world upend. He was carrying me like I weighed nothing.
“No choice, they made me, but I’m sure I’ll have a new name soon,” I sighed and curled into his chest. I loved curling into Pete’s chest…
“We’ll run away and get married,” Pete cooed. I had my head on his chest so it came out deep and rumbling in my ear.
“We’re too young for that nonsense.” My eyes were closing, I was tired. It had been a long day and a long night in Pete’s bed.
“Nonsense? You mean marriage?” he laughed. I liked his laugh. I liked his chest. I loved him as a person, but I wasn’t sure I was in love with him as a partner. I kind of fucked myself with this one. Friends to lovers make for a quick romance. And here we were only a few months in and he was throwing the M word around. The M word wasn’t in my five-year plan. Hell, it wasn’t in my ten-year plan.
“We haven’t even begun to live, Pete. Let’s enjoy things before we start planning the end.”
“Cas, you say the most bizarre things. Why would marriage be an end?”
“It would be the end of a lot of things.”
“What? Like single life? End of your chances of sleeping with other people…” He shifted and my head fell off his chest. I whined in protest, he made a good pillow.
“It’s not about sex, Pete. It’s about being young. You get married, then you have to buy a house, then you have to have a kid, then another kid, then you have to save for college, then buy a minivan and then suddenly you’re looking in the mirror and twenty years have passed,” I yawned, I really was tired.
“That’s pessimistic.”
“It’s realistic.”
Between Lauren not talking to me and Pete now looking to get married, for the first time I regretted making the transition from friends to lovers.
“I can’t believe you, Cassandra.”
“I don’t know what you want from me, Pete.” Sleep was not going to happen tonight.
“I want to hear you tell me that you love me.” He sat up and stared down at me.
“I do.”
“Say the words.”
“I—”
19
Ten Years Since My Last Confession
“I can’t do that, Pete,” I murmured.
“Cassie,” a man’s voice startled me. It wasn’t Pete’s voice. It was another. Another man who gave me dark thoughts. Thoughts so different from how I felt about Pete.
“Drake,” I whispered and sat up. My body ached. Actually ached. I assessed myself, and I felt better, but all my joints and muscles moaned when I moved them. I closed my eyes and concentrated until everything relaxed and I felt normal again. If I would have done that before the effects had taken over…maybe I could have avoided this. What happened?
“You went through withdrawal,” Drake answered my unvoiced question. I blinked up at him. Withdrawal? I must have taken the woman’s need for pain meds, and then I had to get over that addiction. I didn’t want to go through that again.
I laid back on the pillows, sighing at the softness. Drake had brought me back to my room in the big house. I liked this place.
“That’s never happened before,” I frowned.
“You routinely absorb the dark energy of an addict?”
“How did you figure it out?”
“I put the pieces together. There are rumors that some supes can absorb dark energy. I can sense it, it calls to me, but I can’t do anything with it. The only time I’ve absorbed it was when we…” he trailed off.
The kiss.
“We touched after the visitors’ center.”
“You’ve been out for about an hour, dreaming. You kept saying Pete’s name.” There was that suspicion in his look again. I wasn’t supposed to know Pete well, only Cassandra. And to dream about him, to be affected by him, spoke of a deeper relationship.
I didn’t want to see that suspicion. I liked that he trusted me.
“I’m Cassandra.” I whispered it so low I didn’t know if he heard me. He held still, his gaze finding mine.
“I don’t understand.”
“You didn’t even suspect it?” How could he not? He even mentioned that we looked similar, and the names, and the fact I knew so much about her.
“What? How could I? How could you be? Cassandra’s dead. I saw the ME photos. What are you saying? Did you fake your death? Then what the fuck is this all about? Some kind of game?” He stood. His eyes were dark with rage. I jumped to my feet with him, my arms out to stop him.
“No, Drake. Not at all. I’m dead. I died. I’m undead.” I didn’t know how else to word it, how to make him understand.
“Explain.” He calmed, but he began to pace the room.
“I died, and in death, I was given a job. Most people get jobs to work off…the bad stuff they do in life.” I didn’t know how much was too much. Had I damned myself? “My job just happens to entail that I come back and interact with the living, so I have a corporeal body.”
“This is insane.” He shook his head in disbelief.
“You’re the one throwing out the supe references. What the hell are you? I just showed my hand, now what are you, Drake?”
“That doesn’t matter. If you’re Cassandra, why are you here? Why did you hire me?”
“It does matter! I can’t remember my life, so I can’t remember who killed me. And I need to know.”
“You can’t remember?” His voice softened and I took the opportunity to sit back down on the bed. I must not be one hundred percent because I was feeling lightheaded from all the arguing.
“No, I get snatches, a few memories here and there. While I was out I remembered Pete. He wanted to get married, I didn’t want to. We argued. It had to be only a few days before I died.”
“You have to work after you die?” Drake asked incredulously.
“Yeah, it sucks. Stop pacing, you’re giving me a headache.” He stopped in his tracks and sat down on the edge of the bed.
“What’s your job?”
“I don’t want to go into details, there are consequences.”
“Is that what you’ve been hiding from me?”
“Yes. Pretty big secret, don’t you think? You were right to be suspicious.”
“What kind of person can’t Google search a name?”
“I couldn’t look up myself. It’s against the rules.” He turned to me, lifting his knee onto the bed and putting himself in close proximity. I was very aware that we were in my big bed and having a very real conversation.
“What happens when you break the rules?” he asked.
“A demotion.”
“And that’s bad?”
“It’s death, down is always bad.”
“You could get in trouble for telling me?” His voice was soft and concerned, it made my insides melt.
“Yes.”
“Why did you tell me?”
“I didn’t want to see the distrust in your eyes again,” I whispered.
“Cassandra.” My name on his lips did things to me that I couldn’t understand. My heart sped up, my chest constricted, I wanted to curl up in his arms and listen to him say it over and over again.
“Drake,” I said his name in return.
It was all me this time. I moved closer. I closed the distance until we were almost touching. A breath away. I felt his hot exhale on my lips and I closed my eyes in a
nticipation, his dark and intoxicating smell washing over me. He took his sweet time. Every second he left me hanging there my insides came apart, one cell at a time. If I held this position, I would break into a million little pieces and no force could put me together again. Only Drake. It felt like a millennium, my anticipation was so great.
With a rush, he ended my pain. The kiss seared across my lips, his hands warm across my body. I fell into his lap and he pulled me closer, never breaking the kiss. I sighed his name across his lips and he repeated mine as if it was a litany to the gods.
I centered myself and threw my leg to the side, straddling him. His erection met my core and I moaned with the need of it. So quick. So fast. So in need. I had never felt this way before. Never wanted someone so badly.
“Cassandra, I want you,” he growled as he kissed down my neck, across my collarbone.
“That’s stating the obvious.” I did a wiggle against him.
“Shit, woman. I never suspected you would be a tease.”
“I’m not; you can have me, Drake.”
“Fuck,” he growled and bit down on my shoulder, not hard but enough to warrant a squeal from me. “You have too many clothes on.” But then he froze, his hands stopped tracing that delicious pattern over my back and ass, making me curse in protest. I looked at him, curious as to what made him stop.
“What?” I asked.
“I don’t have anything, no protection.”
“I’m dead, Drake. Can’t knock me up or give me a disease.” I laughed when he shook his head in disbelief.
“Sorry. First dead girl I’ve been with,” he smirked.
“I better make it memorable then.”
“Let’s start with these clothes.” He tugged on my shirt.
“Oooh, I got a neat dead girl trick.” I manifested both of us naked.
“That’s one hell of a trick,” he said as he descended to my now very naked breasts which were at the perfect height for him to explore with his mouth. I leaned back and gave him access, trying to be patient when the only thing I wanted to do was move a few inches and take him into me. Instead, I only rocked back and forth, working myself into a fervor, coating us both with my need.
The feelings that coursed through me were all new. All real. I hadn’t felt like this in forever. Not since I was alive. I felt every touch, every lick, kiss, nip. I was alive with feelings that were all new to me. I buzzed under his touch and he glowed under mine. I explored his glorious body. It was as perfectly sculpted as I had suspected. Every inch of him was golden and unmarred, not even a mole or scar. His dick, hard and erect, was just as perfect. I wrapped my hand around it and he moaned as I dropped to my hands and knees next to him and explored every inch of it with my tongue. He tried to pull me away, but I wanted to hear the sound he made when I licked in just the right spot. He made it over and over again until he couldn’t take it anymore and he was pulling me up and laying me back on the covers. He spread me wide, his big body hovering over me. He was big, but I took him in, it helped that I was soaked, so turned on by his attentions.
With only a few strokes I was in the grips of an orgasm and bucking against him. I held on for dear life, calling his name, my nails embedded in his ass, pushing him deeper into me. He cursed me, praised me, kissed me hard and then he was releasing inside of me.
He gave me only a few minutes to catch my breath before his mouth was on my breast again, sucking and pulling at me to get ready for him again. His fingers slipped between my legs and began perfect circles that made me forget I was sated. I wanted more, much more.
“I’m going to fuck you all night,” he promised as he turned me over and took me from behind. I desperately wanted that to be truth.
20
Reprieve
The truth was a beautiful thing. And Drake was true to his word. We caught bits and pieces of sleep throughout the night, but not much. I would wake to his mouth on me, licking me until I orgasmed. I didn’t need any sleep, but after I came weariness always overtook me. He would let me lapse into a short sleep and then one of us would wake and start over again. He did things to me I hadn’t even thought were possible. He fucked me in the shower, in bed, on the floor next to the bed, and then on the breakfast table while he fed me fruit from a basket we had found in the kitchen.
The sun had come up and our bodies were slick with sweat and other things.
“You don’t know what you do to me,” he said the second time he entered me while I was propped up on the breakfast table. I knew what he did to me. I hope I did the same to him because I was a mess. I couldn’t get enough of Drake. I wanted him all over me. I wanted him in every part of me. Every time we touched I buzzed with energy. I felt so alive with each of his devoted inspections. I never wanted to stop. We would have to face reality soon.
As if the universe needed me to face reality, my own thoughts brought it. Reality crashed around us as Drake’s phone chimed. He ignored it as we climaxed together. He called my name and I praised his. I wanted to worship at his feet, beg for more, and never let him out of my sight. We would stay naked forever in each other’s arms. I wanted him to take me in every way possible, in every imaginable position and orifice. Fuck Afterlife. Fuck the consequences. I had found my nirvana. This was my heaven. Let me stay here. Didn’t a girl deserve a bit of a reprieve?
His body left mine, and the cold had me shivering. He grabbed a throw from a chair in the sitting room and brought it to me, wrapping it around me. My name on his lips again as he kissed me. I tried to pull him back to me. I tried to spread my legs for him. I was insatiable. I wanted more of him. I wanted to feel. I wanted to live. I wanted Drake. I might have told him this. But he moved away. He picked up his phone and he listened to the voicemail. He was not as consumed by me as I was by him.
I knew what it was about. Pete. The name sobered me. And I suddenly felt naked. I cleaned myself up with a thought, clothed myself and straightened my mussed appearance.
“That’s a handy talent,” he observed as he walked over to me. He was still naked and my vision darkened, reality slipping away with only a look. He saw where I looked and began to harden again. “We have to go to the Sheriff’s office,” he said in a tone that sounded as regretful as I felt.
“I know,” I whispered. He needed to be dressed so I could think straight. I manifested clothes on him.
“Even handier.” He admired his now perfectly put together appearance.
“Makes getting ready a breeze,” I chuckled.
“I could get used to this.” He pulled me to him and his kiss was full of as much need as I felt.
“You better.” Millions of meanings went into those two words.
21
Death Wins
The Sheriff’s office was a tiny bungalow located on Main Street like the rest of the businesses in this tiny town. One of the deputies showed me pictures of Pete’s body and I did my best not to panic at the sight of them. All thoughts of last night’s escapades left me as I was faced with Pete’s death. Someone had beaten him to death then thrown his body into the wetlands that surrounded the town. His body had sat in the water for months, mummified until it had floated to the top and was found. The same person who killed Pete had probably killed me. I glanced quickly at the photos and then pushed them away.
“It’s him,” I said through tear-choked vocal chords.
His car was next. We were taken to the impound lot and I confirmed that the car in their lot, the cherry red GT, was Pete’s. He loved that car. There was a picture of me and him under the seat when I looked through it. I had been searching for his wallet, knowing he sometimes stowed it under the seat. The picture had been on the dashboard, but somehow it had gotten crumpled and was under the seat.
“You look like her,” the deputy noted while looking over my shoulder.
“We’re cousins,” I said quickly in response.
“I’m sorry,” he said. He knew the story. Drake stood to the side, his face impassive. I couldn’t tell w
hat he was feeling.
“Ma’am, if you don’t mind, we have some things I need you to fill out. Well, more than a few things. We need to notify his family too if you can give us that information.”
I nodded and my eyes were once again drawn to Drake. He hadn’t said much, only led me around, being my rock. I had never been more grateful for another human being in my life. He took my hand and walked with me to my next task.
The deputy led us back to the front office. Chatting the whole time.
“I would go out and talk to Fred at the motel. If your boy woulda stayed anywhere, it would have been there. Plus, Fred, he remembers everyone. If I would have had that photo, I would have done that when we found the body. But it must have gotten missed.” He smiled at us apologetically.
“I might do that while you’re filling out the forms. That way…” He let the innuendo pass between us like warm honey, even though it was delivered in a dry tone so the deputy completely missed it. I shivered, my thoughts drawn away from my dark deeds of today. There was nothing I wanted more than time with Drake in that big bed.
“I’m sure you guys want to get back to the city,” the deputy said. “There’s a lot of paperwork, but it shouldn’t be that long.”
“I’ll be back after I talk to him,” Drake reassured me.
“Yes, that’s fine. It’s an easy walk back to the house from here. I’ll meet you there,” I said. Drake nodded, bent down and placed a chaste kiss on my lips.
“Be safe,” he whispered.
“You too,” I whispered back. And then he was walking away from me, his big shoulders disappearing around a corner. I wanted to call him back, wanted him to wait for me. For some reason, I didn’t want to separate. But I held my tongue. I was being dramatic. And this made sense.
The deputy pushed over form after form. Death had a lot of paperwork.
