Harm's Hunger

by Patrice Michelle

  Sincerity reflected in his dark brown eyes, and she smiled, nodding.

  “Good. ‘Cause the last thing I need is for the guys from the ranch to see us fighting. They’ll never let me hear the end of it.”

  Jena wanted to jab him in the gut. What did he mean by that? Instead, she forced a smile. “I can pretend if you can.”

  As the song segued from a slow tune from the fifties to a recent song with a soulful beat, Mary announced, “Okay, time for the next partner.” While dancers switched out all around them, Harm and Jena kept their gazes trained on each other.

  The amusement in his eyes faded, and a flash of something she couldn’t decipher replaced it. “That’s one thing you and I do very, very well together.”

  Not an ounce of blame showed in his eyes, and his voice had dropped to an even deeper bass, hitting Jena straight in the belly. Her heart ramped up several beats and when she realized his gaze had lowered to her mouth, she worked hard not to lick her lips.

  Were they pretending now?

  She really had no clue, but if tonight was the only time Harm would ever touch her again, she’d damn well enjoy it. Might as well make a memory to hold onto.

  Sliding two fingers under his belt loop, she hooked her thumb along the top of his jeans. “Show me what you’ve got, Mr. Steele. I’m always willing to learn new moves.”

  Harm’s hand flattened on her lower back. It’s warmth seeped into her dress as he slid his palm upward and pulled her a bit closer. “Are you sure you’re up for it, Miss Hudson?”

  She slipped her hand free of his, then curled it around his neck. Tugging him down as they twirled in a slow circle, she whispered in his ear, “I can take whatever you dish out. Just be prepared to get it back. As you know, I’m all about mutual sharing.”

  When she released him and moved to step out of his personal space, Harm’s fingers flexed on her back, his arm around her like a band of steel. “Where do you think you’re going?”

  “I was giving you your space back.”

  “What if I want you in my space?”

  She smiled and flattened her palm on his chest. “Then all you have to do is ask. It’s as simple as that.”

  His eyes shuttered as his expression turned serious. “It’s never that simple.”

  Jena didn’t know how to respond to that, but Harm didn’t give her a chance to either. He wrapped his arm around her waist and twirled her to the uplifting part in the song.

  She realized they were done talking—flirting—whatever they had been doing, but Harm didn’t stop dancing.

  For the next hour and a half, Jena forgot about being hungry. She forgot about the way they’d originally met or how they’d parted the next day as they danced to various types of music from jazz to pop to country. It surprised her that Harm knew so many different types of dances until he told her his mother taught him when he was a boy. He even taught Jena the two-step, which she found harder than she thought it would be, but she eventually caught on.

  When the music finally switched back to a slow song, Harm didn’t hesitate. He instantly pulled her body flush with his as if they’d done so a million times before. Jena stiffened for a second, until he whispered in her ear, “Relax. Give a little.”

  His hips began to move to the sensual song, his movements directing her to follow the rhythm with him. The sensation of his hard chest touching hers, combined with hearing the similar phrasing he’d said to her the first time they had sex, made her pulse race and her insides shake.

  Jena tried to keep her thoughts lighthearted and her emotions firmly detached, but Harm’s warm hand caressing her lower back, then sliding to her hip to lock her lower body even more firmly to his, made her want him so much she found it hard to breathe.

  When this dance event was over, she knew in her heart that Harm would walk away and pretend it had never happened. This was her punishment. The thought made her chest constrict and her head feel woozy. Jena took several deep breaths to try to calm down, but spots continued to dance before her eyes right before her legs gave out.

  “Jena?”

  She felt Harm’s arms cinch around her, heard him call her name, and then he was carrying her off the dance floor. “I’m fine,” she said quietly as he reached the table area outside the cordoned area. “I just got woozy.”

  Harm frowned down at her, his arms tight around her back and legs. “You almost passed out. That’s not fine.”

  She shook her head. “I just need to sit down for a minute. I haven’t eaten since breakfast. Got too busy, and I guess it finally caught up with me.”

  Sighing, Harm headed for an empty table and set her down in the chair.

  “You okay, Jena?” Hunter walked up, concern in his gaze as he set a water bottle on the table in front of her.

  Jena picked up the water and managed a half smile. “I’m fine, Hunter. I just got lightheaded for a second.”

  Harm must’ve given Hunter some kind of look, because he nodded and backed off, saying, “Let me know if you need anything.”

  “You don’t have to dance anymore,” Harm said quietly once Hunter walked away.

  Jena shook her head. “There’s only twenty minutes left. I can deal.”

  Harm’s lips pressed together, a determined look on his face. “I paid for the card. No more dancing.”

  Jena gestured toward Hunter, who was talking to his mom by the DJ table. “I have one more dance. I’ll finish out the night.”

  “I’ll buy Hunter’s spot.”

  Jena jerked her gaze to his. “Don’t you dare do that. I made a commitment and I’m going to fulfill it.”

  Harm’s face settled into hard lines. “Do you ever think more than five minutes ahead, Jena? You’re the most stubborn woman—” Cutting himself off, he stood and shoved his hands in his front pockets. “Make sure you don’t fall flat on your face.”

  Jena kept her gaze on his belt buckle. She didn’t need to look up at him. His tone told her he was mad at her. What’s new? “I promise not to embarrass you, Harm.”

  She watched him walk away. The hard hit of his boots on the pavement reminded her of that day he’d stalked off after he’d regained his memory. Why did she keep pissing the man off? It seemed that’s all she was good at lately. Sighing, she’d just returned her attention to the crowd when Hunter slid into the chair beside her.

  “Are you sure you’re all right?”

  She nodded and sipped the water. “Thank you for the water.”

  He smiled. “Been waiting all night to dance with you. I’ve got to keep you hydrated.”

  A few minutes later, a teen in a red apron and matching baseball cap tapped her on the shoulder. “Are you Jena?”

  She nodded. “Yes.”

  He quickly handed her a brown paper bag. “I was told to bring this right over.”

  Baffled, she took the bag and thanked him. After the boy ran off, she glanced inside and her mouth began to water. A chicken wrap and a bag of chips suddenly looked like a gourmet meal. Jena grabbed the bag of chips first. Their saltiness should help settle the nausea in her belly.

  “Why didn’t you tell me you were hungry?” Hunter asked, his brow furrowed.

  She popped a chip in her mouth and chewed. “I didn’t think about it until later. It’s no biggie. I’ll feel fine after I eat.”

  “Still, you should’ve told me,” he grumbled.

  Hunter let her eat in silence, and while she ate the rest of her food, Jena contemplated Harm’s complexity. She really didn’t understand him. She’d only gotten a glimpse of the lighter side of Harm tonight, yet he’d yanked that away so quickly, swinging back to the distant, judgy man she’d come to know these past few weeks. Sending her food had been nice of him, but why did she feel he’d done it because he felt obligated? Like he’d done when he bought her dance card? He didn’t say he’d bought it because he wanted to dance with her.

  Did she project an “I need to be rescued” vibe? Is that why he asked about her brother coming back
? Was that comment about more than an indirect reminder about the land he still wanted to buy? Was it because, once her older brother returned, he wouldn’t feel obligated to keep an eye on her? The last thing she wanted was to be anyone’s obligation. She especially didn’t want Harm to feel that way about her.

  Maybe she’d been living in a dream world too long and she didn’t have what it took to get Harm to open up. He might be the man of her dreams, but she was starting to realize that she wasn’t the woman of his. And the thought depressed the hell out of her.

  Chapter Nine

  “What the hell, Jena!”

  Jena turned from touching up the shutter. She’d thought she was done with the shutters when she finished painting them yesterday, and she certainly wasn’t dressed for painting in a sundress, but when she saw the spot she’d missed on her way out for an appointment with a realtor in town, she couldn’t let it go. She’d rescheduled with the realtor for later in the afternoon, then pulled out the ladder and paint can.

  She plucked the left ear bud from her ear, since Harm had yanked the right one out and turned off her mp3 player sitting on the top of the ladder. She hadn’t seen him in a couple of days, and now he stood on her porch yelling at her? Sighing, she stepped down from the ladder, then laid the paintbrush across the porch railing. “What have I done to tick you off now?”

  “You’re selling?” He scowled, then flung his arm toward the drive. “And I had to find out when I drove past your property and saw the For Sale sign?”

  “Calm down. My brother will be here this weekend, then we can draw up the paperwork. We’re not going to sell it to anyone else. It’ll all be yours soon enough.”

  He still looked angry. Why did he look angry? “I thought you weren’t going to sell the house and land around it?” He gestured toward the shutters and flowerbeds. “You’ve just gotten it the way you wanted it. Why are you selling it now?”

  She turned away and put the lid on the paint bucket. Tapping the lid down with a rubber mallet, she said, “Because I’ve been reminded enough times by enough people that it’s time to grow up, and that I shouldn’t let my flighty whims interfere with other people’s lives. I guess believing in fairytales are a thing of my past.” Taking a steadying breath, she faced him and kept her tone upbeat. “I’ve found a place in town that’s closer to Dr. Macomb’s practice. I start work next week, so you’ll have plenty of room for more horses now. Make sure you put it to good use.”

  As she brushed past him, then headed for the barn, Harm’s long strides quickly caught up to her. “You can’t leave. You have responsibilities here: the horses, the house.”

  Jena slid a sideways glance his way. “You can take care of them; you’ve been doing so long before I came into the picture.” Stopping, she pulled the house key from her pocket and held it out to him. “Here, you can have this back. I’ve got a spare at the house.”

  Harm frowned at the key in her hand as if it was going to light him on fire if he took it. “I don’t think you’re flighty, Jena. I know you work hard. I’ve seen your work ethic in how you’ve transformed Sally’s house and with the horses.”

  His praise made her heart beat a little faster. “Thanks for saying that. It means a lot. And now you’ll have a nice place to get away to if you want.” Swinging the key on the ring, she said, “I take the apples and carrots out of the fridge a half hour before I give them to the horses. They like them a little cold. I’ll be back and forth while I’m meeting relators this week, so I’ll need you to take care of Sally’s horses if you don’t mind.”

  When he took the key from her, she held his gaze. “I sincerely hope you find her, Harm.”

  His brow furrowed. “Who?”

  She tilted her head. “The woman you’ll be willing to take a risk for. I might’ve given up on fairytales, but I still believe in that.” Forcing a smile, she walked away and entered the barn.

  Harm was still standing where she left him when she came back out with a small bucket in her hand. Taking an apple from the bucket, she pushed herself to keep going, despite Harm’s quiet presence, and moved to the fence where all four horses had trotted into position, waiting for her to give them their treat.

  She’d fed three of the horses their apples, when Harm’s deep voice sounded directly behind her.

  “What about me, Jena?”

  She paused, then lifted the apple to the last horse. “You?”

  As the horse gobbled the apple up, Harm stepped so close she could feel his warmth spreading across her back. “Yeah, me. Are you going to leave me behind too? A month is a long time to deny myself the one woman who showed me that happy-ever-afters absofuckinglutely exist if I’d just trusted my damned heart from the start.”

  She jumped when his warm hands settled on her shoulders. “I’ve been a fool, Jena. I’m sorry I’ve been such a horse’s ass, but you knocked the wind right the hell out of me. I would’ve come by sooner to talk, but one of my horses needed the vet’s attention.

  “Dancing with you the other night made me realize that the only way I’ll ever feel settled again is if you say ‘yes’ to everything that happened between us that night.” His fingers flexed slightly on her shoulders as he continued, “I need to hear you tell me that it was as real as it felt, because nothing has torn me up more than walking around thinking that the electric connection we shared was all in my head.”

  “It was real, Harm.”

  Jena’s heart thumped hard and she blinked back tears as Harm bent close and whispered in her ear, “I’ve never felt as at peace as I did that night with you. I didn’t know that’s what true happiness felt like.”

  She pressed her face against his scruff, enjoying the feel of it against her skin. God, she missed that so much, along with his sexy, masculine smell. “If you realized all this, why did you get mad at me the other night at the dance?”

  He kissed her temple and slid his arms around her waist, pulling her against his hard frame. “Because I was worried about you…and because I sure as hell didn’t want to watch you dance in another man’s arms. You were meant for me, Jena. Only me.”

  She let out a bubbly laugh. “Well, you wasted a good twenty minutes more of dancing because you were being so surly.”

  “You needed to eat,” he said gruffly, then pressed his lips to her neck, murmuring. “Stubborn woman.” Cinching his arms tighter around her, he said, “I’ve fallen in love with you, Jena Hudson. I want that night we shared to be reality for the rest of our lives, and I really hope you want that too.”

  Jena stilled. Was he asking her to marry him? Or was this as close as Harm could get to a commitment?

  Before she could speak, he said, “Say yes. That’s the only answer.” Rubbing his nose along her jaw, his voice turned husky. “Do you know you have the sexiest voice? It makes me rock hard in record time.”

  As he pressed his erection against her backside, Jena couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face. “And here I thought other parts of my body did that to you.”

  Harm expelled a low laugh, then slid his hands along her waist and upward until he cupped her breasts. “There are definitely parts of you I want to explore in excruciating detail, if for no other reason than to discover all the sounds you’ll make when you’re turned on.”

  To prove his point, he brushed his thumbs across her nipples through the linen material of her dress until the nubs pebbled. Jena squirmed against him and sighed in pleasure. She’d waited a long time to feel his hands touching her once more. The excited contentment she felt as he slid the straps of her dress down and exposed her breasts to the open air went way beyond craving a physical connection. It was about making a commitment. In her heart, she was already his.

  When he rolled her sensitized nipples between his fingers and she moaned, arching back against him, Harm nipped at her ear, then nuzzled her neck. “Remember what I said about the next time we made love? And make no mistake, this will be making love, Jena—” His hands slid down her thighs.
“I want to feel your hot, sweet skin sliding against every part of me. When I ease inside you, I don’t want anything between us.”

  She gulped back the flood of emotions raging through her. “Yes, I remember. I’m on the pill, so no condoms are necessary.”

  Her heart raced and the knots in her stomach unfurled, replaced with stomach-clenching anticipation as she felt him unbuttoning his pants behind her. Liquid heat pooled between her legs when he lifted her skirt.

  “You have the sweetest ass,” he said in a rough, you’re-all-mine rumble at the same time he palmed her bare skin. “This g-string is a definite turn on.”

  When he traced his finger down the strap between her cheeks, she gasped and said breathlessly, “I’m glad you approve.”

  At the same time he planted a kiss on her shoulder, he tugged on the edge of her underwear. “Thongs will be a requirement for the next fifty years or so. But for now,” he pulled her panties down past her hips, “I don’t want anything in my way.”

  As Jena stepped out of her underwear, the fierceness of his tone and permanency in his words struck a cord; she didn’t need a piece of paper. She placed her hand over his on her breast, stilling his movements. “Are you sure this is what you want, Harm?” She couldn’t handle it if he walked away from her again. It would tear her to pieces.

  “I’ve never been more certain.” He clasped his hand more firmly on her breast as he eased himself inside her. Filling her completely, possessively, he let out a groan. “I want a wife,” he said, his voice rough with sincerity. “I want the two or three or a passel of kids. You made me want it all, Jena, but only with you.” He withdrew and sank back home once more, causing her breath to hitch as the meaning of his words sank in. Jena grasped the fence to keep herself upright as joy ricocheted through her. This wasn’t a dream; he was actually asking her to marry him.

  Placing his warm hands on hers, Harm locked their fingers together and draped his body over her back, his words like velvet sliding over her. “You never did officially answer the question, so I’ll be as clear as possible. Will you marry me, Jena? You have the power to make this fantasy a reality. And just in case you’re hesitating at all, remember those three chances? I’ll be happy to make the decision for you. As your prospective husband-to-be, I definitely think I know what’s best for you.”