Remi's Choice: The De Luca Boys

by Amanda Wylde

  I suck in a an angry breath trying to hold it together. My only hope—when I shouldn't even be hoping for anything—is that it's only been a month. This can't be too serious. I've been with Elsa going on six months now and I still have never felt even remotely close to what I've always felt for Remi.

  Against my better judgment I step out of the car. My inner struggle is a breathing fiery living thing. A part of me prays they won't still be here, while another part is already aching to see her. There's not a part of my body that hasn't tensed in anticipation to something I said would never happen.

  I walk into the restaurant and immediately spot them. Her red hair is like a strobe light. The moment I spot her red tresses I'm frozen. She's sitting there in a booth with Kris—kissing him. I want to fucking die. For over two years I told myself it was inevitable. She'd moved on, likely in a relationship now. Kissing, very possibly doing more with someone else. But seeing it floors me. I should run out of here. I should leave this second but I'm glued.

  "How many in your party, sir?"

  I smile at the young hostess and that alone gets the usual response and tinged cheeks. "I'm waiting on someone. So I'll just wait here for a few minutes."

  She nods but the fluttering eyelashes aren't missed. I turn back to them. Remi looks the same except better. Like she always did each time I saw her even back then. She's giggling and those beautiful adoring eyes gaze up at him as she continues to kiss him sweetly. Is she in love with him?

  I should leave. I really should. Walk the fuck out of here, get my ass back to my hotel room and call my girlfriend. It's the right thing to do and I've been doing the right thing for years now. It works. I'm happy. Clearly Remi's happy. I should leave it that. She and I were never meant to be and Kris is a good guy. At least this isn't Chaz or some other douche I should worry about like I always have. But even if it was, Remi's not mine to worry about. Not anymore.

  I start to walk back toward the door then glance back just one more time. One last time before I walk away and never look back. They're getting out of the booth. I start out the door turning back because I'm a fucking glutton for punishment. My dumb ass is dying to see her face just one last time but they're not leaving. Only Kris walks off. Remi gets back in the booth. She'd only gotten out to let him slide out. I stand there and watch her delicate profile as she enjoys the band and sips her beer.

  Without thinking I'm walking back in. The hostess smiles at me and I point. "My friends are already here."

  She nods and I walk into the restaurant. A sudden overwhelming anger laced with bitter jealousy washes over me. Did she do this—with my cousin—on purpose? Is this her way of punishing me for never responding to her letter? It may kill me to have to hear about her and Kris for the rest of my life. Maybe that's what she wants. Maybe she's evil that way but I'll die before letting her know what this is doing to me. I can be evil too. I know what kills her. I always have. She may want to remind me forever of what she thinks I rejected, but I can leave her with a reminder of what I've always done to her.

  Even as every step I take closer to her speeds my heart—reminds me of what I yearned for all those years and confirms I still do—I cannot let her know it.

  I walk slowly around from behind her booth as she stares in the other direction at the band. Just as the guy singing is hitting that big note that has everyone in a trance, including Remi, I slip into the booth across from her. It takes her a second to turn to me with those big blue eyes and her face pales when our eyes meet.

  My heart races like it hasn't since I last saw her, and the thrumming of blood in my ears nearly drowns out the noise in the room but I manage to smirk. "You miss me, Cherry?"

  Chapter 9

  Remi

  I can't speak. I can't breathe. I stare at him forcing myself to gasp in short breaths because I fear I might hyperventilate. That sinful smirk is just like I remember it only he isn't. I mean he is but not. I can't even explain it.

  Travis looks so much older now. He's always been big but he's even bigger now. Filled out in all the right places, he's a full grown man. He looks so put together, so much more mature somehow. His long sleeve white button shirt is folded at the arms up to his elbows. The big forearms he's leaning against the table are covered with tattoos but his hair is neatly cut now. Not that messy tousled thing he used to run his fingers through, though it looked good no matter what. And of course his hair still looks good now. He's clean shaven but I can see the five o'clock shadow and that humor dancing in his eyes.

  His lashes lower with a teasing grin but his eyes go dark. "You fucking my cousin, Remi?" I shake my head but he scoffs glancing away. "Bullshit, I just watched you sucking his tongue."

  I clear my throat in an effort to speak. "We've only been going out a few weeks."

  "He said it's been a month."

  He says it so matter of fact I wonder what else Kris's told him and why he never mentioned talking to Travis about us. Does Travis even care? The smirk that still laces his lips says he doesn't and his next words confirm it. "Congrats. I hear you two lovebirds are celebrating tonight."

  Our eyes meet again and I gulp. "Thanks. Congrats to you. I hear you're doing well and living with someone now." I say trying to sound as indifferent as he is about me and Kris.

  He stares at me with a vacant expression, and then his eyes are on my lips. "Does he lick your pussy, Cherry? Does he know what you taste like? How your legs shake uncontrollably and lock onto my head like a vice grip as you come on my tongue? Because I've never forgotten. Not one minute. How you taste. How you smell. How you sound. Not. Once."

  My heart spikes as he licks his lips with that familiar evil grin from long ago, then he sits back taking me in. I hate that he still has the power to reduce me to a puddle. My insides are on fire just from hearing his words—being reminded of the memory—a memory I've never stopped thinking about ever since it happened so long ago. The look in his eyes says he knows it.

  But there's something else in his eyes. Something else I can't discern. For as much as he's trying, he's not as completely indifferent about this as he's pretending to be. I'm distracted momentarily by the sight of Kris behind Travis across the restaurant. He'll be here soon and I'm suddenly overwhelmed with the need to tell Travis something. Make something clear.

  "No he doesn't," I say as his eyes go from my lips to my eyes. "This wasn't something I planned or did on purpose Travis. It just happ—"

  "I don't give a shit."

  His words say he doesn't, but his penetrating eyes say otherwise as they bore into mine. Kris is just a few booths away now. I swallow back the emotion I feel from just seeing Travis—speaking to him—for the first time in years.

  "I haven't slept with him," I look up at a smiling Kris just a booth away now then down at Travis whose expression I can't make out. It's a strange one but I add the last part before Kris is close enough to hear. "Or anyone. Ever. You never responded to any of my texts and you just confirmed what I've always suspected. You don't give a shit. But yes, I have missed you, Travis. So much," I whisper the last part because Kris is too close.

  "Travis," Kris says as he reaches our booth then slides in next to me. "Glad you made it."

  He flags down the waiter passing by, orders another pitcher and asks for three cold mugs. The whole time Travis stares into my eyes. It's only when Kris is done talking to the waiter that Travis releases me from the stare I was locked into.

  "Isn't it crazy that you used to babysit this guy and look at him now," Kris says smiling big.

  "I never really watched Travis," I explain glancing at Travis then back at Kris. "It was mostly his brothers. Most of the time Travis wasn't even there."

  "That's right," Kris says smiling at me then turning to Travis. "You were out causing a ruckus and driving my aunt crazy. But that's all changed now right? Aunt Thelma says you're working with your dad and doing real good now. What is it you're doing?"

  The waiter drops off the pitcher and I sit there in a
trance listening to Travis tell us about his father's construction business and how Travis got his real estate license when he turned eighteen over a year ago and now they're flipping homes. Apparently it's been lucrative because he mentions the trip to New Orleans and how he's in the market for a home of his own now.

  "Really?" Kris says pouring himself another beer. Travis and I have barely touched ours but I don't think Kris notices. "So does that mean you're thinking marriage?"

  I brace myself for the answer to that as Travis shakes his head taking another sip of his beer. "We haven't even talked about it. We're still getting used to this living together thing. Plus she still has a few years of school to go. But you never know right? Just when you think you got life all figured out you get hit with a curveball." He shrugs taking another sip of his beer and our eyes meet. "You just never know what can happen from one day to the next. So who knows? What about you two?"

  I take a sip of my beer finally, making time so Kris can be the one to answer that. He chuckles first then brings my hand to his mouth and kisses it. "Way too early for us to be thinking about that stuff," he says then leans in and pecks me. "I still gotta get through this academy; get my own place and all that shit before I can even start thinking of anything like that. But Remi is definitely marriage material. That's for damn sure."

  "Yeah, Remi's always been a good girl," Travis says and something in the way he says it sends a chill down my spine, only not in a bad way. "My mom's always loved her."

  "What's not to love?" Kris says pulling me closer to him then kisses me again.

  As much as I enjoyed Kris's kisses earlier and was beginning to warm up to the idea of celebrating in an even bigger way with him tonight, I suddenly want nothing but for him to stop touching me. Travis downs the rest of his beer and puts his mug down.

  "Alright man," he says starting to slide out of his side of the booth. "I'm out. I just stopped by for a short chat and have a beer with you but I've had a long day today and have a busy day again tomorrow. I need to hit the hay."

  Kris tries to get him to stay and have another beer with us but thankfully Travis refuses nicely, insisting he really needs to get to bed. "Good to see you again, Cher—" he chuckles then shakes his head. "Good to see you, Remi."

  To my relief Kris doesn't catch the slip or if he does he doesn't make anything of it because he doesn't mention it. I feel drained. From the moment Travis slipped into that booth every inch of my body tensed up and it's still tense despite his departure. Seeing him again, feeling his eyes consume me despite the circumstances did exactly what I always knew it would. I was right back to being that same young and inexperienced teen that used to melt by his wicked gazes. Only now it's different. Back then I knew what I felt for him was dangerous. It was dangerous because he was. He was the bad boy of the neighborhood. My dad referred to him as a thug. I knew I'd never get the approval of my parents to be able to see him. But now there's even bigger reason why what he does to me is dangerous.

  His cousin.

  Regardless of what I felt tonight seeing him, the truth is not only is he living with another woman now, I'm seeing and falling for Kris. I shouldn't have even said what I said to Travis tonight.

  Kris kisses me and I try to kiss him back the way I had earlier. Enjoy the way his kisses made me tingle everywhere, but I can't get Travis out of my head. We're there for a couple of more hours where I consume a little too much beer trying desperately to get Travis out of my head and I'm tipsy. Kris stopped drinking long before I did. So he's nowhere as tipsy as I am.

  Things get heated in the car right there in the parking lot. Kris starts sucking my neck, then unbuttons my blouse and takes my nipple in his mouth. This is as far as we've ever gone... My privates go crazy at the feel of his tongue flicking my nipple and instantly my thoughts are on what Travis asked me tonight. I don't know what gets me wetter. The evil gaze in Travis's eyes when he speaks to me that way, or the feel of Kris sucking my nipple even harder. I moan at the sensation between my legs. "That feels so good, Tr—"

  I catch myself and go stiff. Kris slows then looks up at me. "What?"

  Only he doesn't look upset just confused. He didn't catch the near slip again. "Nothing," I say breathlessly. "I was just gonna say I'm trying to control myself here but it feels so damn good."

  Kris smiles kissing me again then goes back down to my breast. I'm not feeling it anymore. I'm concentrating too hard on not making any more disastrous mistakes. We make out for a while longer until I finally say we should go. I don't want the restaurants security to come out and ask us to move it along. I get the feeling Kris was expecting more tonight. I got that feeling all night and before Travis showed up I was seriously considering it. But I can't. Not tonight. Not while his face, his words; those eyes are still so vivid in my mind.

  Because it's late and I know my mom is very likely asleep I allow for a longer than usual goodbye make out session in my driveway. I know I'm just trying to relieve some of the guilt I'm still feeling over not being able to stop thinking of Travis. I give Kris a final goodnight kiss before exiting his car. "Soon," I say touching the side of his face. "I promise."

  "Only if you're ready," he says with a genuine smile. "I'll wait as long as I have to."

  I haven't told Kris that I'm still a virgin. At my age and because I told him I was hurt bad, I'm pretty sure he assumes I'm not and he's never asked. He just thinks I'm taking things real slow because of my past relationship.

  I get home to the usual dark quiet house I get to whenever I stay out this late. It's only just after midnight but my parents are early sleepers.

  It's not even until after I've brushed my teeth and started to undress that I notice my message indicator blinking on my phone. I assume its Kris and immediately feel guilty. I check and I see I have a missed call from the same number I don't recognize and I have a text from it too. The moment I read it I know exactly who it is and my heart is pounding.

  Text: I need to talk to you. ASAP. Please, Cherry . I won't sleep until I do.

  I read it several times. It was sent about an hour ago. He had to figure I'd still be with Kris. Did he really expect me to end my night with my boyfriend to call him? I clutch the phone. Do I dare? Before I can change my mind because my heart is already pounding at the thought of talking to him again, I hit the call button. He answers just after the first ring.

  "Are you still with him?" is how he answers his phone.

  Even his deep voice makes my breath catch. "No," I whisper then close my bedroom door. "I'm home now."

  "I need to talk to you," he says sounding far less smug and self assured like he did at the restaurant.

  "About what?" I ask holding my hand to my chest because my heart is beating so hard.

  "In person. Can I pick you up?"

  "Now?" I ask and my heart feels like it's about to go through my chest now.

  "Yes. Please?"

  "Okay." The word is out of my mouth before I even know it.

  He says he'll be right over and I scramble to get my shoes on again while chiding myself the whole time even as I fix my hair and face in the mirror.

  I tip toe out the front door when I see the headlights out front. I can hardly contain both my excitement and anxiety about doing this. What could he possibly want to talk to me about in person that he couldn't do over the phone?

  He must still wear the same mixture of deodorant and hair product he wore even back then because I'm overwhelmed with the heavenly scent of Travis. A scent so familiar to me it takes me back to a time when he made me tremble with just a smirk.

  "Why are you doing this?" he asks as soon as he pulls the car away.

  "Doing what?" I ask but I'm pretty sure I know what he's referring to.

  "Why are you with my cousin?"

  "I didn't plan it this way," I counter because it's the truth. "We started off as just friends then he went away to the Army and we stayed in touch via letters. When he got back we got even closer and then it just happened."


  I want to ask him why he cares. Why he couldn't ask me this over the phone but I'm distracted when we pull into the parking lot of a hotel. "Why are we here?"

  "It's where I'm staying. It's too late to be talking anywhere else. I leave tomorrow. I thought we could talk in my room."

  I stare at him as he parks the car. Thoughts of what Kris would say if he knew Travis picked me up after he dropped me off and brought me back to his hotel invade my mind.

  "Because I wanna show you something and it'd be easier in the room."

  I gulp thinking he might smirk sinfully after that last comment, if what he wants to show me is what I'm beginning to think it might be. But he doesn't. He's very serious. He gets out of the car not waiting for me to accept or reject his invitation to his hotel room. Of course I get out let him slip his hand into mine as soon as we're close enough. The walk to this room is a silent one and my mind is racing about what it is he might have to say to me. But even more about what it is he has to show me.

  I curse myself for not having the power to stand up to him. Say no to him. Already he said he doesn't give a shit so why is he questioning my relationship with Kris? My motives? He's the one that left and never responded to any of my texts. He's living with someone now. His life sounds perfect. So why is he losing sleep over this?

  We reach his room and he unlocks the door and lets me in first. I walk into the humble room surprised he's not in a suite of some kind. I take the room in as he turns on more lights.

  "Are you in love with him?"

  I turn to face him surprised by his question. The lyrics to Take a Bow, an old Madonna song I've been so fixated on for years because of Travis comes to me and I shake my head.

  "And you really haven't slept with him?"

  "Why does that matter?" I ask feeling the emotion I've held in all night overwhelm me. "You said you don't give a shit."