Live Like You Mean It

by Ava Stone

  Damn it. Seeing Brody Campbell messed with my head. It would be so easy to just fall for his easy charm and handsome face; but I wasn’t that seventeen-year-old girl anymore. I had responsibilities and focusing on school and Aiden had to be at the top of my list. I did not have time to fool around with sexy bassists who had no idea what my life was like. I just didn’t. If only seeing Brody didn’t make my heart yearn for more than I had. But it did. I was a complete and total idiot and I’d—

  “Earth to Leah,” someone said and snapped their fingers in front of my face.

  Ashley Beckwith. Another girl on my nursing track. A nice girl, a little pushy sometimes.

  “Oh,” I said. “Sorry. I didn’t realize you said something.”

  Ashley plopped into a seat across from me. “Yeah, I could tell.” She laughed. “I was asking if you wanted to do a study group Saturday.” She gestured to the spot beside me and I realized Kevin McEwan was right next to me. I hadn’t even noticed him until now. “Kevin’s offered to share his brilliance with the rest of us.”

  Kevin was brilliant too. The smartest one of any of us in these core classes. Of course, he was pre-med and most of the rest of us were in nursing. He was a nice guy, if not a little on the boring side. But if he was offering to share his brilliance, I’d be an idiot to say no. “Sure.” I shrugged. “Sounds great.”

  “Good.” He smiled in my direction. “The more the merrier, right?”

  “Right,” I agreed.

  “I already reserved one of the study rooms in Sidbury Library,” Ashley said. “One o’clock.”

  “Ok.” I nodded. “I have to work that night, but I can come for a while.”

  Professor Howard walked into the class and shut the door behind him. As Ashley spun around in her seat to face the front, Kevin leaned closer to me. “I’m glad you can make it Saturday.”

  “Yeah,” I replied, glancing over my shoulder at him. “Thanks for including me.”

  I don’t think I heard one word my Business Ethics prof uttered. Not one. I kept reliving that moment in the quad when Leah said falling for me would be stupid. She was right. It would be stupid. There were probably a dozen girls at Wheston that could attest to that. But… I just couldn’t shake the emptiness that had started to settle in my soul at the thought of not seeing her. What the fuck was wrong with me?

  I needed to play. Immerse myself in music and push away all the thoughts that were swirling around my head. So I skipped my next class and went home.

  That was a mistake.

  I opened the door to my apartment and was shocked to see Cade’s face buried in Kelly Cooper’s pussy in the middle of our living room floor. I stepped back outside, closed the door and scrubbed a hand down my face. That was the last thing I expected to see, last thing I wanted to see. Kelly Cooper! Really? Cade had lost his goddamn mind.

  Even through the closed door, I heard her scream out in ecstasy and I cringed. Damn, they could probably hear her all the way in D.C.

  I pressed my ear to the door a minute later, but they were still going at it. Damn it! Both my guitar and bass were in the apartment. And there was no other way in.

  Eventually, they’d stop, right? Honestly, I shouldn’t have been annoyed with Cade. He needed something to help him get over Kelsey, but couldn’t they have gone to his bed instead of the middle of the living room floor, for God’s sake? Was I just supposed to stand out here all day?

  Inconsiderate…

  Shit.

  I spotted Sean coming down the walk toward the apartment. This could go really bad, really fast.

  He looked like a mess. His hair was standing straight up like he’d been pulling on it all night. He met my gaze and barely lifted his head in greeting.

  I nodded curtly, hoping he’d just walk right on by me.

  He gestured to my apartment door. “You locked out?” He sounded as miserable as he looked.

  “Waiting,” I hedged, “for a girl.” To stop fucking my roommate so I could go inside.

  “Oh.” He sighed tiredly. “You haven’t seen Kelly, have you?”

  “Nope,” I lied right through my teeth and prayed to God she didn’t scream again. If she did, I was standing directly in Sean’s way, and I’d already had my hand banged up once this week because of Cade Bishop. I feigned a smile and added, “Have you misplaced her or something?”

  “We had a fight.” He frowned. “I just don’t know where she’d go.”

  Right next door. I shrugged and said instead, “Well, if I see her, I’ll tell her you’re looking for her.”

  “No.” He shook his head. “Don’t do that. Just wondered if you’d seen her is all.”

  I’d seen more of her than I’d ever hoped to. In fact, I was pretty sure I’d never get the image of Cade and Kelly out of my mind. “Yeah, no problem.”

  Sean walked past me to his and Kelly’s door and then stepped inside their apartment.

  I glared at my own door. Who knew how long Cade and Kelly would be going at it? I ought to just go to Starbucks and wait it out. Check my email. See if there was any word from Johnny Staub on the mp3s I’d sent him a few days ago.

  Sean’s door opened again and he rushed outside. His face was red with fury and I couldn’t help but gulp.

  “You sure you haven’t seen Kelly?” he barked at me.

  Oh God! Could he hear them through the walls? “What?” I asked, as my mind tried to come up with a plausible reason why Kelly was in my apartment at that moment. I had nothing.

  “All of her shit is gone,” Sean screamed. “Like all of it. You didn’t see her packing up her shit and leaving?”

  “No.” I shook my head. “I was in class all morning.” It was the first honest thing I’d said to him that day.

  All of her stuff was gone? Where the hell was it? But even as the question popped into my mind, I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach that I knew the answer. If Sean didn’t tear Cade in half, I was half-tempted to kick his ass myself.

  Sean started toward the parking lot, and as soon as he disappeared out of sight, I turned around, pounded on the door to warn Cade I was coming in, and then stepped into the apartment.

  Twin gasps of surprise met my entrance. Cade was up on his knees, and Kelly was a few feet away from him, shielding her breasts with her arm from my view. I shut the door behind me and glowered at the pair.

  “I thought you were in class,” Cade said.

  Yeah, I bet he did.

  I flicked my gaze in Kelly’s direction. “Sean is looking for you.” Then I pointed at Cade. “Kitchen. Now.”

  I crossed through the living room, into the kitchen and waited. There was a whole lot of hushed whispers in the living room, and a moment later, Cade met me in the kitchen. Luckily, he’d found his boxers somewhere between the two rooms.

  “She’s not staying here,” I said before he could utter a sound.

  Cade’s brow furrowed and he shook his head. “I already told her she could.”

  “Well, un-tell her.”

  “No,” he said with a bit of steel in his voice. “She doesn’t have anywhere else to go.”

  “And you think being right next door to her boyfriend is the—”

  “Ex,” he corrected. “Ex-boyfriend.”

  Whatever. “She’s not staying.”

  “It’s not up for debate.”

  “The hell it isn’t,” I growled. “My name is the one on the lease.”

  “She won’t be here forever,” Cade said calmly. “Just until she finds a place.”

  “We don’t have space for three people in here.”

  “She’ll stay in my room.”

  I narrowed my eyes on my friend. “What like a stray dog that followed you home? You’ll feed her and walk her and keep her out of the way?”

  His back straightened and he folded his arms across his chest. He really could be the most stubborn jackass on the planet sometimes. “She’s staying, Brody.”

  I shook my head. Didn’t he see what an awful i
dea this was? I knew he needed something to move him past Kelsey, and I was a big supporter in him getting laid as often as he could, but… “You really think Kelly is the best candidate for your rebound girl?”

  Not that I had anything against Kelly, technically. Not if you discounted her sneaking into the apartment in the middle of the night to hide out from Sean. And, if Sean didn’t share a wall with us, I’d have been much more supportive about the whole thing. But Sean did share a wall with us and this whole thing was just waiting to blow up in our faces.

  Cade shrugged. “I don’t know what there is between us. Maybe something. Maybe nothing. I don’t know. But I don’t want her to leave.”

  There was a stubborn jut to his jaw and Cade wasn’t about to give in. I’d known him for a good long while, and arguing with him would just be a waste of time and energy. “This is just until she finds a place,” I said, hating that I was giving in.

  “Of course,” Cade agreed.

  But he was lying. I could see it in the way he dropped his gaze. He’d let Kelly stay as long as she wanted to. As long as she was sleeping with him, he wouldn’t be in any hurry to see her leave. “And no fucking in the living room, inconsiderate asshole,” I grumbled as I left the kitchen.

  Kelly was curled up on the sofa, wearing Cade’s Seahawks jersey, her knees pushed up inside the shirt. “Hey,” she said, because she had to say something.

  “Hey,” I replied, still pretty pissed off about the whole thing.

  “You saw Sean?” she asked with a frown.

  “Yeah. And you’re gonna have to deal with him. I don’t want him coming over her and tearing the place up.”

  She nodded. “I’ll deal with him.”

  “And if he kills Cade, that’s on your head,” I said.

  A sad smile settled on her lips. “He’s not going to kill Cade.” She shrugged. “He’ll be relieved I’m gone. She’s pregnant.” A staggered breath escaped her. “The girl…”

  The girl Sean had been cheating with was pregnant? I winced at the thought. God, my life would be over if that happened to me. No more music career. No more hopes or dreams for the life I wanted. I’d end up just as miserable and bitter as my father. Unless… “She’s keeping it?”

  Leah had. Why had she done that? Had her parents forced her to have the baby? Was that what had happened?

  A soft snort escaped Kelly. “I have no idea. We’re not exactly friends.”

  “What would you do?” I asked, dropping on to the sofa beside her. “If it was you.”

  “If it was me, I wouldn’t sleep with someone else’s boyfriend.”

  “Not what I was asking,” I said. “Just seems that at this point in our lives having a kid just fucks up your life. You only get to be twenty once, right?”

  “You’re twenty?” She blinked at me.

  “I didn’t mean me.” I didn’t even know how old Leah was, but she looked twenty. Twenty with a forty year-old’s problems.

  “There something on your mind?” she asked, her light eyes focused on mine like she was trying to read my thoughts.

  Oh, what the hell…I could ask Kelly. She might have some sort of female insight I lacked. Plus she owed me for letting her stay. “So you’re a girl,” I began.

  “Yeah. Thanks for noticing.”

  I raised my brow and replied dryly, “Well, it was touch and go there for a while, but walking in on Cade sucking on your clit really cleared it up for me.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “You’re an ass.”

  I agreed with a nod. “Yeah, I know. Campbell family trait.”

  “What’s a Campbell family trait?” Cade asked, as he reappeared in the living room fully clothed.

  “We’re all assholes.”

  Cade nodded in agreement. “Yeah, that’s true.” He dropped onto the loveseat, catty-corner from the sofa where Kelly and I were. “You should meet his dad.”

  On a good day, the last person I wanted to think about was my father. And today wasn’t close to a good day. I shifted on my spot and looked at Kelly once more. “So, if you found out you were pregnant—”

  “Jesus!” Cade hissed, his face as white as a ghost.

  Oh! He thought… I shook my head. “Not the two of you. Just, you know, hypothetically speaking.”

  “Hypothetically speaking?” she echoed, her light eyes studying me. “Something going on with you, Brody? You have a baby on the way?”

  “No.” I choked on the suggestion.

  “Then what?” she asked, frowning at me. “Something’s going on.”

  I blew out a breath. Leah’s face flashed in my mind and I rubbed my brow like I could erase her from my thoughts. But I couldn’t. She was still there, ever present. “There’s this girl…”

  Neither of them said a word, though they both leaned a little closer to me as if waiting for me to say something of vast importance.

  “She has a kid and…”

  “Ooh.” Cade winced.

  “Yeah, my thoughts exactly,” I muttered. “And I should run the other way. Forget her. Pretend I never met her. But…” I shrugged, not sure how to explain it. I didn’t even understand it myself. “I don’t think I can.” At least I hadn’t been able to yet.

  “How old is her kid?” Kelly asked.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Boy? Girl?”

  “Boy,” I said.

  Kelly nodded like that meant something to her. I didn’t mean anything to me, however. Boy, girl. The kid’s existence was the same. And it sucked.

  “Anyway, it doesn’t matter. She doesn’t want to see me. So…”

  “She doesn’t want to see you?” Cade asked in disbelief. “I’d think it would be the other way around.”

  Anyone would think that. Until two nights ago, I would have thought that. But now… “I told her we only get one chance at life and she can’t stop living just to take care of her son.”

  “Well, that was stupid,” Kelly replied.

  My head snapped in her direction. “It’s the truth.”

  “Your parents are still together, right?”

  I scoffed. “They’ve been married almost 30 years, but I don’t know that I’d call them together.”

  “Yeah, well, my dad left when I was five. No child support. Nothing.” Her light eyes assessed me once more. “The life of a single mom isn’t easy, Brody. I saw what my mom went through. Working her fingers to the bone, trying to be both mom and dad to us. Never enough money. Never enough time. You probably made this girl feel like she was failing at life. And it’s hard enough to succeed.”

  Was that what I done? Certainly hadn’t been my intent. She had so much on her shoulders. “I just wanted her to have a little fun.”

  “With you?” Kelly laughed, which made me a little self-conscious.

  “Hey!” I grumbled. “I’m fun.”

  “You’re trouble. Probably the last thing she needs.”

  Which was just about what Leah had said to me today in the quad. My gut tightened and my head started to pound. I was trouble for her and she was trouble for me. I knew that. I kept telling myself that. Be glad she walked out on you. You don’t want to deal with the complications of her life. You dodged a fucking bullet. All of that was true. Every last thing. But… “I can’t stop thinking about her.” And I hadn’t been able to since I met her.

  “Flowers,” Kelly said, clearly taking pity on me. “You can always start with flowers, then. But you should follow them up with an apology.”

  I’d already apologized, but… Maybe I could do better than I had. The question gnawing at me though was… Why? Why was I intent on chasing after her when catching her went against everything I really wanted in life? I had no idea, but I had a feeling I’d be scouring Wheston that night looking for the perfect set of flowers.

  “Do not forget we have practice tonight,” Cade said, his eyes narrowed slightly.

  “Who am I? Jason? Have I ever missed a practice?”

  Cade shook his head. “But I haven’t
ever seen you like this before either.”

  I snorted. “First of all, you’re the last asshole who should be doling out warnings right now. And for another—” I lifted up my banged up hand, “—I won’t be able to play for very long anyway. This still hurts like hell, thanks to you.”

  I barely made it to work on time. I rushed through the doors of the hospital just as my shift was supposed to start, which technically meant I was late. Meaning, I wasn’t at my desk when then clock struck six. I’d colored a tad too long with Aiden before I left home, though I could have made up that time if there hadn’t been a fender bender on King’s Road. God, I hope Abby was too busy with patients to realize I was late. If she was in the back¸ she’d never…

  I stopped in my tracks.

  What in the world was he doing here?

  Brody was lounged against my reception desk, resting his hip on the edge like he’d done the night I met him. But this time he was talking to Toni and making her laugh instead of me. Not that I was jealous of Toni. It was just something I noticed. It was something that would have been hard not to notice.

  She spotted me. Her dark eyes twinkled over the reception desk as she grinned at me. “There you are.”

  Brody turned his head to see me, his gaze locking with mine and I felt like a mute all of a sudden. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t really even think.

  Then he pushed off the desk and started toward me, a small bouquet of white tulips in his hands. He flashed me a smile that made my stomach drop to my toes. “I googled apology and flowers but—” he shrugged “—there really wasn’t a consensus. And I liked these.”

  My heart, it did that leaping thing again. Traitorous heart. Hadn’t we – my heart and I – decided that having anything to do with Brody Campbell was not in our best interest? “What are you doing here?” I asked.

  Toni’s eyes just about bugged out of her head and her mouth fell open like she couldn’t believe that I was being such a giant idiot. But Toni just didn’t understand this.

  “I was an ass, Leah,” he said softly, crossing the floor until he stood right before me. I had to tip my head back to see him. “Let me make it up to you. Just give me one more chance.”