Also by B.L. Mooney:
Coming Home
Striving for Normal
B.L. Mooney
Striving for Normal
B.L. Mooney
Amazon Edition
Copyright © 2013 B.L. Mooney
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
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Cover design by Robin Harper from Wicked by Design
Photo by Captures from the Heart Photography
Edited by Theresa Wegand
Table of Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Chapter 1
“So, I believe we were discussing the parties he would take you to.” My therapist, Joseph Hatcher, sat across from me, ready to continue our journey to my well-being. I, however, wasn’t so ready.
I looked around his office again, even though I’d looked around it several times and it never changed. There was a desk behind him facing us and a small round coffee table separating us. He had a side table on which he occasionally placed his notebook or a glass of water. The wall to my left was lined with bookshelves, which held more decorations and artifacts than actual books. My favorite thing in his office was the window to my right that I would sometimes get up to look out when things got too real.
“I think I’d like to discuss what happened this week instead.” I made it sound as if I were not bothered by the past, but more interested in working through the present. He knew better, though. He always knew better.
Joseph put his notepad and pen down on the table beside him and leaned forward. He was tall and solid, but not intimidating. You could tell he took care of himself and worked out regularly. He was older than my twenty-four years. I never did ask him his age, but I suspected he was in his mid-forties with grey starting to dust the temples in his dark brown hair.
As a woman, I didn’t think I could talk to a man about my problems, but Joseph made everything seem okay. It was almost as if I were actually talking to my father. His ability to remain calm while I described the horrific details of a past I’d rather forget helped me to remain calm enough to talk about them. He also took criticism well, which made me feel even more relaxed and able to say what was on my mind—even when I shouldn’t. In one of my earlier sessions, I told him that he needed to stop dressing like Mr. Rogers if he wanted to hear about the less-than-wholesome past that I needed to discuss. I never did see him in jeans, but at least he stopped wearing the sweaters. “Drew, did something actually happen this week or are we avoiding again?”
I looked away. He knew me so well. In many instances, he knew me better than I knew myself. He usually called me on my bullshit, and I think that’s what I liked most about him. I needed someone to call me out without making me feel worse at the same time.
“Drew?” He called for my attention again.
“Okay, okay. Nothing out of the ordinary happened this week. I’m just not as brave as I was the last time I was here.” I started shifting in my seat a little.
“You are just as brave now as you were then. Why do you think otherwise?” He picked up his notepad and pen again.
“I guess it’s because before we talked about things that led up to the party, but now . . .” I shrugged my shoulders.
“Go on.”
I looked at his pen, willing him to tap it against his paper. Everyone else got frustrated or impatient with me. He had never once shown any signs of either. That alone told me that Joseph was a good man, and I was a little more at ease. I stopped fidgeting and stopped staring at his pen to finally make eye contact with him. His blue eyes were piercing, but strangely calming. I think the calming effect had more to do with the shape and fine lines around them rather than the color. I visibly relaxed.
He gave me a slight smile. “Are you ready now?”
“Yes, I’m sorry.” I stopped myself from shifting in my seat again before the memory took over.
~*~
“It’ll be fun.” Craig gave me a quick kiss on my cheek. “I promise you’ll have a great time.”
“I just don’t know why we can’t go to a party where we both know the people who will be there. Every party we go to is with your friends only.” Since I’d gotten off work later than everyone else, the party had already started by the time we arrived. We had to park down the street, and I was trying to keep up with Craig as he was practically running to get there. I guess he was excited.
Craig and I had been dating for two months, and normally I wouldn’t be so quick to follow any man, but there was something about Craig that had me following him everywhere. I wasn’t really sure what it was exactly. I felt different with him. He made me feel excited and alive by taking me on different adventures. I’d tried to define what it was I felt, but I couldn’t. I knew it wasn’t love. It most definitely was lust, but there was something more.
I’d been in lust before and still had never followed any man as I followed Craig. He could do things to my body that I’d never thought possible and could get me to agree to do things I would never dream of doing—all with just a look.
He wasn’t the usual type I went for, either. I usually tended to choose tall, dark, and handsome. Craig was good-looking, but blond and in desperate need of a tan, and he could’ve benefited from lifting a few weights. He was fit, but I preferred a more muscular build. It surprised all of my friends when I started dating him—friends I didn’t see much of anymore. He was slowly taking over my life. As I said, there was just something about him that I couldn’t explain.
Craig had been running ahead of me a couple of steps, pulling my hand to quicken my step, when he stopped abruptly, and I ran into him. “Sorry.” I grabbed his jacket. “A little warning would have—”
Craig kissed me with that magical kiss that always left me panting and wanting more. “I promise it will be worth it.” He took my hand again. “Come on.”
We walked slower to the house then, and while my legs had started to get cold from night air, that kiss warmed me up. I no longer cursed the skirt that he begged me to wear. We walked in, and I noticed a few familiar faces in the living room as soon as we walked through the door. Terri was across the room in what looked like a makeshift dining area, mixing the famous punch that they always served at these parties. I could only drink one before it knocked me on my ass.
I liked Terri and tried to make my way over to her. She smiled and waved when she saw that I was unable to get away from Craig. I waved back and turned
my attention to the introductions Craig was making. I thought maybe I could go after meeting the people I hadn’t met yet.
You wouldn’t have guessed that Terri and I would become friends. We were definitely opposites to say the least. Terri was very petite—almost elf like. While I was several inches taller than her, I was no giant, even though standing next to her made me feel like one. Everything was small about her except for her attitude. I think they coined the phrase, “Big things come in small packages,” after seeing her attitude in action.
Her short dark bob framed her face beautifully, and the contrast of the rich dark brown to her pale skin only enhanced her beauty. My long blond hair may have been thick and the envy of many, but it offered no enhancement when paired with my skin tone.
“Baby?” I turned my attention back to Craig and smiled. “I want you to meet Travis, Phillip, and Tony.”
I extended my hand and greeted each man. “It’s nice to meet you all.”
Craig moved behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. “That’s enough touching.” Craig squeezed me tightly. “She’s mine, boys. Go find your own dates.” I covered his arms with mine. I loved to hear him claim me. Leaning back into him a little, I smiled as he kissed my neck.
“You’re a lucky man, Craig. Where did you find her? I think I’m hanging out in the wrong places.” Phillip wouldn’t stop staring at my chest.
Craig moved to my side and turned me to him. I hugged his waist. “Phillip, no matter where you hang out, buddy, you’re not going to find anyone as good as my girl, Drew.” He leaned forward to whisper a little, “Or as bad.”
I squeezed his waist. “Craig!”
He turned to me and kissed my head as I buried it into his shoulder. He started laughing. “I’m just having a little fun. I want them to know just how envious they should be.”
It took twenty minutes to finally cross the room with Craig, and thankfully, Terri was still there. Her boyfriend had joined her by this time, so I didn’t hold out much hope of talking with her alone. Mark was at least a foot taller than Terri and had a long, lean body. His hair was a much lighter brown than Terri’s, but still not as light as mine. When we approached the table with the glasses, she gave me a small smile that told me she had hoped to talk alone, too.
“Marcus, how’s everything?” Craig always called him by his full name instead of Mark as everyone else did. I hadn’t learned yet what the rift was between the two men, but there was obviously something there.
“Craig.” That was Mark’s common response to anything Craig had to say—one word.
“We missed you at the game this week.” The guys had a small and very amateur basketball team. I’d never attended a game, but I thought there was more conquest talking than game playing.
“Busy.” Mark kissed Terri’s cheek and whispered he’d be right back.
Craig watched him go, and I couldn’t quite understand what the look on his face was, but I knew then was not the time to ask him about it. He finally let go of my hand, still watching Mark. Craig started to go after him and then thought better of it. The look on Terri’s face told me she knew what was going on and was relieved when he turned back to the table.
“How are things with you, Terri?” Craig picked up a glass and handed it to me.
“Things are good, Craig.” She turned to me and smiled. “Drew, could you help me in the kitchen for a minute? Mark was going to, but I guess he had something else to attend to.”
I looked at Craig and he nodded. I caught Terri’s frown before she was able to hide it, and turned to the swinging door on the right, which I assumed led to the kitchen. I followed her, wondering if she really needed help or if she just wanted to talk. I really should’ve exchanged numbers with her.
Before I could set my glass down, she grabbed it from me and dumped it in the sink. “Hey, I wasn’t finished with that.”
She smiled and walked over to the supplies she had on hand to make more punch. Without adding any alcohol, she mixed my own punch drink and handed it back to me with a wink. “Now don’t drink it too fast or he’ll know something’s up.”
I smiled. “Thanks.”
I should’ve been embarrassed that it was so obvious that I wasn’t used to the strong alcohol, but with Terri, there was nothing to be embarrassed about. She was looking out for me, and I appreciated it. She led me to the table to help her refill a couple of trays. She did need my help, but it was also obvious that she wanted to talk privately.
“I like you, Drew, and I would like us to be friends. Is that okay with you?” She was arranging cheese and crackers on a tray.
I smiled. I wanted to be her friend, too, but didn’t know that people still came out and said it at our age. Things were so much easier when we were in grade school, but it was a little more difficult in college. Kids can come right out and ask to be friends, but as adults, some people think that’s kind of creepy. “I would like that very much.”
She stopped arranging things and turned to me. “Then as your friend, I want to ask if everything is okay with you and Craig.”
I narrowed my eyes a little. “Yes, I think so. Why do you ask?”
Terri started arranging the food again. “Just know that I’m here if you ever want to talk.” She wiped her hands on a towel and took out her phone. Looking at my outfit, she tilted her head. “Where do you hide your phone in that skirt?”
“Oh, Craig has it for me.” I received another frown from Terri. This time she didn’t seem to want to hide it. “What’s wrong? You didn’t seem to be able to find a place for me to hold it myself, either.”
Terri opened her mouth to say something a couple of times and closed it without a word. When she finally did speak, she didn’t answer my question. “Give me your number, and I’ll text you later with mine.”
I gave her my number and was about to ask her again why she kept frowning when Craig walked in. I was thankful to actually be working on a tray so we wouldn’t have to make up any excuses for being in there so long. I’d just ask her later when we had more time to discuss it.
“I’m getting lonely out there.” Craig had a fake pout.
“Lonely? You?” Terri picked up the tray she was working on and nudged Craig on her way out the door. “I’ve never known you to be lonely . . . well, ever.” She disappeared before he could say anything.
I snuggled up to his side and wrapped my arm around his waist. “What’s the deal with you and Mark anyway? I sensed some tension there.”
Craig finally stopped staring at the door that Terri walked through and turned his attention on me—mostly my neck. “Marcus and I go way back.” He spoke between kisses. “We had a stupid fight over a girl, and he’s never gotten over it.” Before I knew it, he had me pushed back against the sink.
“Craig, please, someone could walk in.” I tried to push him away, even though my body was begging me to pull him closer.
He ground his body into mine a few more times and abruptly stopped. His smile was mischievous as he backed up and held my hands. “There’s more of that later.”
I smiled back. “I hope so.”
Craig led me back out to the main room and over to the sofa. He sat me down and took off his coat before sitting next to me. He leaned in to whisper. “You’ve got me all hot.” He looked down at my legs and put his coat over me.
I leaned into him to whisper myself. “You’ve got me hot, too. I don’t need your coat.”
When I pulled back, I saw a spark in his eyes that made me catch my breath. He put his hand under the coat to find mine and squeezed. “Keep your hands under the coat. I want it to look as if we’re holding hands.”
I looked at him puzzled. We were holding hands. I didn’t understand why he would want it to look like it when we were. Craig kept his eyes locked on mine as he let go and made his way under my skirt. I tried to grab his hand again, but he gave me a slight shake of his head that only I could see. He used two fingers to nudge my thighs apart, and I quickly looked aro
und to see if anyone was watching.
I didn’t see anyone looking at us and started to relax until I felt him go further and push my panties aside. My eyes darted to his again. “Craig.” It was a whisper, but still a plea that I wanted him to stop.
Craig smiled as he found the spot that was screaming for his attention by this point. There was no hiding my desire—no hiding my want for him right then and there in the middle of what seemed to be my new friend Terri’s house in front of all of her guests.
I tried to sit up straighter and close my legs, but he pinched me and wouldn’t release me until I slid back to where I was with my legs slightly open. I had hoped he would just play and tease for a little while and not bring me to full arousal. I was soon proven wrong. He only stopped long enough to dip lower to wet his finger again before bringing it back up and starting all over.
The closer I got to release, the more I gripped his forearm. Craig knew I was close, too. He kept leaning over to whisper dirty thoughts in my ear and then take my earlobe into his mouth. I would glance around occasionally to make sure that no one was watching.
Then it hit me. I bit my bottom lip to stop the sounds I wanted desperately to make and closed my eyes as my climax washed over me. The thought of people watching only increased my excitement, and the way he played my body—always played my body—had me wishing we were alone so I could feel him deep inside.
~*~
“How did it make you feel for him to do that in front of everyone?” The sound of Joseph’s voice brought me back.
I lifted my hands to my cheeks. They were warm. I wasn’t sure if I was embarrassed about discussing what happened in such great detail with Joseph or if replaying it in my head had me aroused. In all honesty, it probably was a little of both. “I guess it made me feel alive, and I don’t know . . . reckless maybe.”
“You’ve always been the careful one?”
I nodded.
“And this is why you allowed him to control you? To make you do things you normally wouldn’t do?”
I shrugged. He was the shrink. He should have been telling me what I was thinking while I was allowing all of that to happen to me. I sure hadn’t been thinking at the time—at least not with my brain.
Striving for Normal (Striving Series) Page 1
