Striving for Normal (Striving Series)

by Mooney, B. L.

  I knocked and could hear her moving in her room. “Rachael, do you want to talk?”

  She opened the door and let me in. “I thought you were Mom.”

  “Oh? What are you hiding in here, and is there enough for me?”

  Rachael laughed and sat on the bed. “I wasn’t hiding anything, but I was looking around to see if I needed to.” She laughed again. “Old habits die hard when you stay with your parents when you’re in town.”

  I smiled. “It’s funny that no matter how old we get we are still afraid of getting into trouble.”

  Rachael slid over and patted the bed. “Take a seat. I used to have a bean bag chair, but Rick popped it. Ooh, was that a mess. Talk about getting in trouble.”

  “This is fine.” I sat down next to her. “Do you want to talk about it?” She looked at her hands. “You know I won’t tell her you told me.”

  Rachael laughed really hard at that comment. “I don’t doubt that for a second.” She looked at her hands again. “But I don’t want you to tell Dennis.”

  “I won’t tell him, either.” I would keep that promise, and I hoped she trusted me enough to believe me.

  “Thanks, but really it needs to come from Deb. You’ll be the first one I call, though, if I need to talk.” Rachael stood up and walked to the door. I guess she was done.

  Chapter 18

  It was finally time for girls’ night at my place with Terri. No matter what, I was going to get answers that night about what had been bothering her. She seemed happy when she showed up. It wasn’t until the wine was poured and we sat down to talk that she got quiet. I reached over and squeezed her hand. “You can tell me anything. You know that, right?”

  Terri nodded and took a big drink of wine. I noticed her hands started to shake. “Let’s start with you, okay?” I started to say something, but she stopped me. “Please, Drew. I really need to start with you.”

  I nodded my head. There were several things I could have talked to her about, but I needed to get to the bottom of what was happening with her. She didn’t usually get this upset or keep things from me, so I knew it was going to be something big. I decided to keep it light on my side so we didn’t get sidetracked. I needed to get back to her problem soon.

  “I’ve been debating about putting Gloria on the payroll. She keeps coming around more and more, and I just don’t feel right about her volunteering so much without any compensation. I just don’t know how to approach—”

  “The new doctor is hitting on me.” Terri drank the rest of her wine.

  “What?” I was in complete shock. Terri worked with all kinds of people every day in the emergency room and wasn’t thrown by much. For her to be so affected by what this guy was doing, it must have been more than just hitting on her. “Terri, what’s happening?”

  Terri started shaking more and her eyes glistened. “I’m so sorry for anything I ever said about your feelings for Craig or Carl. I’m so sorry for thinking you could just get out of it.” She started crying. “I just didn’t understand.”

  I was shocked at first to hear her cry like that. Terri was the strong one; she didn’t break down. “Terri, did you . . .?”

  Her eyes snapped to mine. “No, no, I wouldn’t do that to Mark.”

  “Okay, so what has you so upset?”

  She touched her lips and was silent for a few moments. “He kissed me.” She turned to me with panic in her eyes. “I didn’t let it go any further than that. I told him that I’m married and that I love my husband very much. I do love Mark, Drew. You know I do.”

  “I know. I know. Why don’t we start from the beginning? Tell me everything that’s happened.”

  Terri took a deep breath before starting. “Do you remember Donna? She’s the one you said had a bigger attitude than I do.”

  I knew Terri was being serious, but remembering the time I met Donna made me smile. It was when I had first moved in with Terri and Mark after being released from the hospital. I’d started running a fever, and Terri was afraid I was developing an infection since I wasn’t taking care of myself. Donna came over to drag my ass out of bed and threw me into the shower—in my pajamas.

  She was taller than Terri, but not as tall as I was. Although the way she stacked her auburn hair made us just about even. I wasn’t sure that that much hairspray was legal on one person, but I had to admit she was beautiful. It didn’t matter that the shell on her hair could have also served as a helmet. She looked as if she had an attitude to at least match Terri’s, and when she started ordering me around, she confirmed it and then some. “We didn’t spend all that time with your ass in our ER for you to just waste away this second chance at life.”

  I’d just stood in the shower in my pajamas with water pouring down on me in complete and total shock. She softened up some when she knew she had my attention. “It sucks what you’ve been through, but you’re alive no matter how much you don’t want to be. My girl, Terri, is worried about you, and I don’t like to see her worried. I will throw your ass in this shower every day if need be, until you start to do it on your own. Understood?” I nodded my head. “Do you need some help?”

  I shook my head, and she turned to leave. I saw Terri standing behind her, looking just as shocked as I was. Terri started towards me and Donna stopped her. “No, Terri. She said she doesn’t need help. She’s got to want this herself.” Terri nodded her head. “Now let’s go get my coffee fix. She knows where to find us if she needs us, but right now, I need my damn coffee.”

  Terri’s voice brought me back to her situation. “Well, Donna warned me. She said it wasn’t right how he looked at me or touched me.” She shifted positions, hugging her knees. “At first it just started out with professional compliments. He said I was the fastest trauma nurse he’d ever worked with. He said I knew how to handle my job and didn’t need direction.”

  “You’ve always been great at your job, Terri. That wouldn’t have set off any alarms for me.”

  She nodded her head. “It should’ve when he started complimenting my hairstyles or noticing if I got new scrubs.”

  “So that’s why you went to solid colors. There wasn’t a rule change, was there?”

  “No. I thought that I could handle this and that Mark wouldn’t find out.” Terri sighed. “Donna told me from the beginning to tell Mark. It wasn’t as if he touched me in any inappropriate places. He made everything seem so innocent. I just didn’t catch on until it was too late.”

  “Terri, what do you mean by that?” I was concerned where this was going. I started to get nervous.

  “You know that night I was called into work and asked you to watch the kids?” Terri closed her eyes and rested her head on the back of the sofa. “He didn’t need me to work. He met me in the parking lot and said he needed to talk. We were just going to the diner everyone goes to after work or on breaks. I figured I would be surrounded by people we knew. Nothing would happen. When he started to talk about how long he’s been looking for someone like me and how he knew we would be great together, I knew I should have just gotten up and left.” Terri hardly looked at me throughout the entire conversation.

  “I’m not judging, Terri, but why didn’t you?”

  She shrugged. “I kept looking for a way to let him down easily. I kept hoping something would come to me that would magically solve everything and we wouldn’t lose what we had in the hospital.” Terri finally looked at me. “It’s very difficult to find someone that you connect with and that you can anticipate what he wants before he says it. Everybody knows what role they play in the ER, and we do our jobs very well, but every case is different. If you’re lucky, you get that connection that doesn’t need words. We connected, and I think he’s taken that connection a little too far.”

  “But he knows about Mark and the kids.”

  “Of course he knows, but he doesn’t care.” Terri was frustrated and got up to start pacing. “I’ve told him several times and find myself being one of those annoying parents who brings their ch
ildren up every time he’s around just to make a point.” She stopped pacing and looked at me. “None of it matters!”

  “What about the kiss? When did that happen?”

  Terri sighed and sat back down. “After dinner. I just didn’t care anymore about the connection at work when he wouldn’t listen to me, so I got up and left. I mean I had already been there for hours, trying to get him to understand that I wasn’t interested. He kept telling me that I had to be interested or I would have left a long time ago or I wouldn’t let him touch me or stand so close to me.”

  Terri leaned forward and put her elbows on her knees with her face in her hands. I knew exactly how she felt. “Carl would tell me things and make me think I felt more than I actually felt, too.”

  This surprised her and she sat straight up. “What do you mean?”

  I shrugged. “I mean just what I said. Men like Craig, Carl, and . . .” I looked at her for the name of the doctor.

  “Dick.” Terri smiled and shook her head. “No, that’s his name not a nickname from me. Dr. Richard Turling.”

  “Fitting.” I lowered my eyebrows. “Anyway, men like that are good at manipulating,” I reached over and put my hand on her shoulder, “even the strongest women.” I sat back and shrugged again. “They build it up so slowly that we don’t even see it. Then when they have our defenses down and we fully trust them, they go in and plant these seeds of doubt. They start to tell us how we feel or how we’re responding, when really that’s their perception of things—not ours.”

  Terri shifted to sit facing me and encouraged me to continue. “Well, Craig made me think I couldn’t find anyone better than him. He made me think I wasn’t worthy of a good guy. Now he never claimed to be a good guy. He just told me he was the best I could get. Every time I stayed with him after he treated me like shit was just another piece of proof he could shove in my face. I still believed him even after we broke up. If it weren’t for Dennis, I probably would be with Carl right now.”

  “Carl made you feel the same as Craig did?”

  “No. He had a different form of manipulation. Carl made me feel as if I needed protection from the world and that he was the only one who could give it to me. He actually told me Dennis wasn’t man enough for me.”

  “What about the physical reaction you had to him?”

  I knew Terri needed this answer more for herself than for me, but I was happy to have one. “Oh, I wanted him.” Terri just looked at me. I didn’t think that was what she wanted me to say. “I’m not going to deny that I’m attracted to Carl. Hell, if you could see past the hatred you have for him, you’d be attracted to him, too.”

  I laughed when Terri shrugged. We both knew that I was right. We continued talking about how Carl made me feel more attracted to him by telling me what I was feeling. He kept telling me my body was reacting to him, which put the thought into my head and caused me to look for reactions. I wasn’t really sure my body reacted any differently to him than it did to any other good-looking guy, but he made sure to capitalize on the attraction. A well planned word here and a strategic touch there could go a long way in the mind of someone vulnerable.

  Terri’s mood was improving. I hoped it had more to do with the conversation than the wine, but I was happy to see her smiling again. I didn’t want to bring her back down, but I had to know about the kiss. She still hadn’t told me what happened. “Terri . . .”

  I wasn’t sure if it was my tone or if she had already decided to tell me, but she told me without hesitation. “When I walked out, he followed me, apologizing the entire way to my car. He said he understood that I was happy in my marriage, but that we would be better together. When I reached my car, he pressed me up against it and kissed me. I wasn’t expecting it at all. I was so stunned that I didn’t stop him.” She touched her lips again.

  “What else happened, Terri?”

  “I went home and slept with Mark.” She sighed and leaned back against the sofa. “Then I felt guilty.” Terri rolled her head over and looked at me. “Then I called you.”

  “Why did you feel guilty?” Terri faced forward so she didn’t have to look at me. She didn’t need to say anything. I already knew why. “Other than never actually kissing Jessica Biel, Mark does the same thing to you if he catches sight of her in something skimpy.” Terri faced me again with a slight smirk. “You’re married, not blind. You can be attracted to other men.”

  “This is why you’re my best friend.”

  ~*~

  Terri slept over since she had too much wine. I didn’t want her driving home, and she didn’t want to leave her car here and have me drive her home. Mark was suspicious since Terri usually watched her drinking when she needed to drive, but he let it go and said he’d take the kids to the center in the morning. Terri promised him that she would tell him everything soon. That was one promise I’d make sure she kept. She needed support from Mark and had nothing to fear from him. He loved her, and they would survive it.

  We had finished our talk the night before, but I think that it was more from Terri being sick of thinking about it and less about anything being settled. I did get Terri to agree to discuss the situation with her friend at work and tell her that she was right. If he continued to make advances, Terri promised she would file a complaint with the hospital. I told Terri that it may be difficult for her to do, but we would all stand with her, and she wouldn’t be alone.

  I had contemplated staying home with Terri. She didn’t need to be at work until the afternoon, and I could have stayed to encourage her more. Terri told me to go to work as I had told her to when she offered to stay with me. I told her to stay in the apartment for as long as she wanted. I was sure she wanted the time alone.

  My mind was still on Terri when I walked in and was startled when Karen came up to me. “Drew?” She didn’t look well.

  “Are you okay, Karen?” I put my hand on her arm to steady her.

  “I’m fine, but Amy is really sick.” Karen pointed to the restrooms. “I can’t be around it or I’ll get sick.”

  “I’ll go. Take a few minutes to get yourself back together.” Karen nodded and headed for the break room while I took off to see Amy.

  I slowly opened the restroom door and saw Gloria holding Amy. “Amy doesn’t feel very well this morning.”

  As soon as Amy turned and saw me, she started crying and holding out her arms. I’d been doing really well by not showing her any extra attention, but I couldn’t let her cry like that. I took her from Gloria, and she pointed back to the stall. I quickly took her in there and held her hair for her. Even though I shouldn’t have, I automatically started rubbing her back.

  “Has anyone called Carl?”

  “Several people have. We can’t seem to get in touch with him. His cell phone goes straight to voicemail, and his secretary says he can’t be disturbed.” Gloria bent down and whispered. “He had to know she was sick when he dropped her off this morning.”

  I picked up Amy and my purse and turned to Gloria. “I’m taking Amy home.”

  “Drew, do you think—”

  “All I know is I can’t risk exposing the other children and Amy needs to be in bed.” I sighed when Gloria nodded her head. “Look, I don’t like this any better than you do, and I agree with your suspicions, but there isn’t a choice here. Will you get one of the car seats in the back and put it in my car, please? We’re going to hang out here for just a few more minutes.”

  “Sure.” Gloria patted my arm. “I’ll get you a bucket, too.”

  I cringed at that thought.

  ~*~

  The ride to Amy’s home was uneventful. I was lucky she fell asleep and didn’t wake up until we pulled in the driveway. “Just sit in the car and let me unlock the door. Okay, Amy?”

  Amy nodded and I took her backpack to get the key out. I didn’t see Carl’s car, but I couldn’t see inside the garage. I wouldn’t put it past him to be home waiting for me to carry his daughter in. Then I wouldn’t have an opportunity to lea
ve. I wanted to make sure we were alone before we entered the house.

  I stepped inside and listened. Not hearing anything, I turned around to get Amy and almost walked into a pair of strong arms carrying Amy. I closed my eyes, partly because I was startled, and I didn’t want to scream and scare Amy, but also because I really didn’t want to see that Carl had tricked me again.

  “Drew?” Dennis sounded concerned. “Are you going to be sick, too?”

  “What are you doing here?” I was happy it was him, but a little confused. Amy reached out for me and I took her. We walked into the living room, and I sat on the sofa, holding her.

  “Mom called and told me what was happening. It really is best if you have someone with you.” Dennis looked at Amy. I knew he was trying to choose his words carefully so Amy wouldn’t know we were talking about her father.

  “It really is great of you to help me.” I reached out for his hand. He took it and sat next to me. “But I can handle this. Please know that.”

  “I know you can. I’d just feel better if you didn’t have to handle it alone.”

  I smiled at Dennis and then looked down at Amy. She had fallen asleep again. I brushed her hair away from her and felt her face. “She’s really warm, Dennis.”

  “Do you think she needs to see a doctor?” Dennis started to get up, but I pulled him back down.

  “No.” I looked at him. I may not have had kids, but I’d lived with some for four years, and their mother was a nurse who’d taught me a lot. I knew when to panic in these situations. Dennis didn’t, and it was endearing to see him concerned. I knew he’d make a great father.

  “Drew?”

  “Sorry.” I touched his face. “I was just thinking what a great dad you’ll make someday. All I meant was she had to have been sick when she came in.”