After the Dream

by Stan Mason

  ‘It isn’t easy in government,’ he tried to explain. ‘I’m in my element in my office or in the House. I wake up each morning dying to get there to start work. It’s like a drug.’

  ‘It certainly is,’ she rattled on. ’You’re absent from my life....not that I particularly care at present. ‘I don’t like you.....I don’t like the look of you! I can’t understand what I ever saw in you!’

  He looked startled at her frankness as the wine waiter came

  forward to their table. Templeton ordered an expensive bottle of wine and the waiter went away after taking their wine menus. The Civil Servant stared at his wife bleakly as a volley of thoughts passed through his mind.

  I don’t really want a separation but it seems to be the only solution,’ he ventured seriously, reverting to his autocratic attitude. ‘To sum up the facts...’

  She interrupted him rudely. ‘We’re not at one of your meetings now, Charles!’ she reproached irately in a loud voice which caused other diners to turn their heads towards them. Diana almost bit her tongue at calling him by his first name. She had been determined not to use it but now it had been done.

  ‘I’m serious,’ he went on solemnly. ‘To sum up the facts, you’re a lady of leisure. I’ve always insisted on that. You like being at home, playing bridge with your friends, and occasionally shopping. I like being in the office, at the House of Commons, and furthering my ambitions. We live in worlds apart. I’m away for most of the time and we rarely see each other. Love and affection are things that we left behind many years ago. Our aim was to bring children into the world. We did that and they’ve grown up and gone on their own way. There’s really nothing left between us. If we continue together we shall only make each other more miserable and angry. We need to separate.’

  ‘It suits me,’ she told him calmly as though the decision had been made a long time ago.

  ‘It does?’ he echoed in surprise. He had expected a long harangue with voices raised but she reconciled the situation without hesitation.

  ‘You absence in Agadir was just about the last straw. It’s obvious that we fell out of love years ago. It took a mugger in Morocco to make us both realise that we had nothing in common any more. It’s the shadow of a relationship held together by something that we promised each other in church many years ago. I agree that we need to separate but I’m not going to move from the house.’

  ‘That’s all right,’ he continued thoughtfully. ‘You can live in the house. I have my apartment in London which suits me fine. I will pay you a sum of money each month for yourself and pay all the bills on the house. How does that suit you?’

  ‘I think you’re getting off lightly,’ she countered.

  ‘You may think so,’ he returned with rancour in his voice, ‘but such a settlement really suits both of us. We can continue our lives in any way we want.’

  She considered the offer for a few moments. It was very much in

  her favour. She would be able to continue living in the house for which all the bills would be paid by him and have a monthly allowance of her own.

  ‘Can we run this through a solicitor and arrange for it to be a legal separation,’ she asked tentatively.

  ‘I don’t see why not,’ he concurred. ‘I think it should be a legal separation. What do you say?’

  She added her acceptance without reluctance although the expression on her face indicated another issue which entered her head. ‘I think we should be together when we tell Robbie and Karen.’

  He sat still for a few moments as the idea passed through his brain. ‘We’re not getting divorced so I don’t see why we have to tell them anything,’ he retorted, rejecting her suggestion without hesitation. ‘Why can’t this be our little secret? In that way they’ll never know.’

  He was quite right. The children would never become upset or concerned about the situation because they need never know. She pursed her lips in thought reflecting on the other secrets she had to keep. This was yet another to add to the burden....keeping the news of their legal separation from their children. She wasn’t certain that she would always do it but after some hesitation she finally agreed. Her whole life had started to become filled with secrets!

  * * *

  The arrangement she had made with her husband proved to be very fitting. As Deputy to the Minister of Health he would earn a small fortune each year in salary so his financial situation was extremely satisfactory. Within a short period of time, a solicitor drew up the necessary papers and all the items promised by her husband were detailed, signed, witnessed and sealed. Her husband had provided her with a generous monthly allowance which was far greater than her needs. However, from her point of view, she never had to see him, speak to him or make contact with him at any time in the future. Her dislike of the man had become so intense that even the thought of him having any physical contact with her made her shudder. On his side, he had an apartment in London, a handsome salary, a major appointment in the Government and, best of all, he could work all the hours of the day and night with no one to hassle him or reproach him for not being there. Both of them were free to do as they wished without the shackles and fetters of their marriage which locked them together. In truth, they never needed to see each other again. Templeton was in his glory, applying himself wholeheartedly to his work while Diana welcomed her privacy and freedom albeit she was not able to function fully because of her failed memory. But that was no longer his problem. The parting was sweet, without argument or rancour, and they both revelled in the agreement.

  Chapter Nine

  It was two months later when Gloria telephoned Diana with regard to playing bridge.

  ‘I haven’t seen you at Sandra’s salon having your hair done lately,’ she began lightly. ‘When are you going to resume your place at the bridge table?’

  ‘Yes... bridge!’ returned Diana thoughtfully. ‘I’d like to play again. Where are you meeting next and where?’

  ‘At my place as usual,’ stated Gloria which was no help to Diana because she didn’t have the faintest idea of the location.

  ‘Samantha and Jane were asking about you, so come to forty-four tomorrow evening if it fits in with your plans.’

  ‘Yes I’m free,’ declared Diana worryingly. ‘Forty-four...’

  ‘Westley Gardens,’ cut in the other woman suddenly recalling that her friend had lost her memory. ‘Make it seven o’clock.’

  Diana sighed with relief at the information. Without it she would have been completely lost. After replacing the receiver, she went through a number of drawers in the furniture in the lounge and her bedroom. There had to be a diary of events or a record of the names and telephone numbers of her friends somewhere. However despite her desperate efforts to locate it, she was eventually forced to give up.

  The four women met the following evening and after being handed a glass of sherry they made themselves comfortable at the green-baized table in the centre of the room. Diana remembered having a vision of the four of them playing cards there some time ago but it was only momentary.

  ‘How are you now?’ asked Samantha earnestly. ‘Has your memory come back?’

  ‘I wish!’ retorted Diana curtly. ‘Everything’s still pretty foggy. I get occasional flashes of the past but it’s impossible to marry them up with anything.’

  ‘What a terrible thing to happen,’ intervened Jane sympathetically. ‘Did you see your attacker? Do you know what he looked like?’

  ‘I know I did but as I have amnesia I can’t remember anything at all. In fact I’m scared that I’ll go to sleep one night and wake up recalling it. I’ve no idea what my reaction would be.’

  ‘Those Arabs are horrible people,’ cut in Gloria acrimoniously.

  ‘Isn’t that a little xenophobic,’ reproached Samantha. ‘Not all people are the same.’

  ‘They’re horrible!’ rep
eated her host sharply. ‘Horrible! Dressed in rags... looking like gypsies. Sleeping in tents in the desert or in awful hovels built on sand. And you can’t trust any of them!’

  ‘I met a lawyer... an Arab lawyer... who studied at Oxford.’ stated Diana firmly although she realised she would never influence her host to reality. ‘He was a fine young man dressed in Western clothing.’

  ‘Was?’ challenged Jane. ‘What happened to him?

  ‘I didn’t mean to use the past tense. He’s still alive. My husband employed him to check on me every few days and report back to him.’

  ‘Well if he went to Oxford,’ added Samantha firmly, [he must be civil to say the least.’

  ‘Now that you mention it, Diana, we haven’t seen anything of your husband for quite some time. How is he?’

  There was a long pause before Diana replied. ‘My husband and I have separated,’ she admitted openly. It was the first time she had revealed the secret but it hardly mattered now as she considered that the other women were her friends. There was no point in hiding the fact from them as they would certainly learn the truth at some time or another. She looked at the pack of playing cards on the table eager to get on with the game. ‘We split up and that’s it! Okay....let’s play cards!’

  The room went dreadfully silent as Gloria shuffled the pack and dealt them. None of the women knew what to say about Diana’s revelation and they decline to respond to it.

  ‘One club,’ offered Samantha loudly as though her partner would not be able to hear her even at such close proximity.

  ‘Double!’ countered Jane confidently.

  ‘Two clubs,’ uttered Diana, unhappy with the cards she held in her hand but insistent on making a contribution.

  ‘Double!’ Gloria almost shouted the words in the hope that her partner would respond.

  ‘Three clubs,’ ventured Samantha intent on playing the first hand herself.

  ‘Three hearts!’ Jane was determined to play the hand and bid accordingly.

  Everyone passed and after the first card was laid down by Diana, dummy went down. As it did so, play became halted as Jane’s inquisitiveness overcame her.

  ‘I can’t believe that you and your husband have split up, she blurted, folding the cards in her hand. ‘You made such a handsome couple. Why did it happen?’

  ‘Especially as you’d lost your memory,’ cut in Samantha, taking an interest in the conversation. ‘What was the reason?’

  ‘He was totally into his work....I couldn’t even remember who e was. It’s quite clear that we fell out of love a long time ago so we discussed the problem civilly and came to the conclusion that our lives ran on different tracks. Thereafter, we decided to call it a day. It was the most sensible thing to do.’

  ‘But you’re not getting divorced, are you?’ pressed Gloria trying to carve out every detail.

  ‘No, we’re not. It’s a legal separation which has worked out very well for me,’ Diana told them frankly. ‘I have the house, a generous monthly income, all the bills are paid and best of all, I don’t have to see him. He has his work which he dotes on and an apartment in London. There’s no other woman in his life, if that’s what you’re thinking....just work. The good news for him is that he’s been appointed Deputy to the Minister of Health.’

  ‘That sounds a very good arrangement for you,’ reflected Samantha wishing to get on with the game. ‘Shall we continue?’

  They were about to restart when Diana closed her eyes to welcome a vision from the past. She saw herself playing out a hand in three no trumps with the same three women. She played one round of hearts but on the second ply Gloria threw the three of clubs indicating that she had no hearts. Diana played a third round of hearts and Gloria produced the queen of hearts. In the vision, Diana stared at the woman in disbelief and her face puckered into anger rebounding on her.

  ‘You revoked!’ she gasped in annoyance. ‘You played the three o f clubs on my heart and when I continued you threw the queen of hearts. That’s a revoke and you lose a trick...you lose a trick....you lose a trick.’ She opened her eyes to find the three women staring at her bleakly.

  ‘My dear,’ began Gloria sympathetically. ‘What’s wrong?’

  ‘You revoked with the queen of hearts!’

  ‘That was ages ago,’ explained the host surprised at the late allegation. ‘It was a year ago.’

  ‘A year ago?’ repeated Diana blankly, then her chest heaved and tears welled-up in her eyes. ‘I could have sworn it just happened. My memory..........’ she tailed off sobbing.

  It was the end of the game....the end of the evening for the four women. Gloria eventually rang for a taxi and Diana left still sobbing with embarrassment. Her memory was coming back but it was so fragmented that she was unable to put the pieces together in the right order. It was like a haphazard jigsaw. What a fool she had made of herself! It would be some time before she could find the courage to go back at that card table again with the same players.

  She was so upset that her hands shook and her eyes were blurred from weeping. As a result, she made an error with her tablets that night. Instead of taking two ferradil-x pills she accidentally swallowed three of them. Her mind was still trying to cope with the embarrassment at Gloria’s house and she mishandled the tablets. After swallowing them, she realised what she had done but considered that it made little difference whether she took two or three of them. However that inference was far from correct as she was about to learn. She lay between the luxurious sheets in bed but the incident in the card table refused to be expunged from her mind. Sleep just would not come.

  At about two o’clock in the morning, her body suddenly became racked with pain. She became agonised from heat to toe, with reactions in every organ, every limb, every muscle and every tissue without recourse. She screamed out at the top of her voice but no one could hear her and she was forced to endure the agony for about ten minutes during which period she was certain that she was about to die. The change in her body structure was clearly another of the side-effects from the tablets and the intensity was so great that she could hardly stand it. When the pain subsided, she rose very slowly from the bed, finding that her movements were excessively slow and difficult. A great rage of fatigue raged through her body as she switched on the light to look at herself in the full-length mirror. As she did so, she screamed at the top of her voice and threw her arms across her face. Her brain cried out inside her skull at the awful sight before her. After a few moments, she moved them to confirm the change that had taken place, receiving the shock of her life. She was no longer the youngish beautiful woman of whom she was so proud but an ancient-looking old hag. Her face ws heavily wrinkled, with great puffs under her eyes and thick lines creeping across her forehead. Her hair had turned white and the skin under her chin hung down like a huge crop. She lifted her nightdress to observe her body which had equally aged exposing a mass of hanging flesh. She was a woman well over a hundred years old and it went through her mind that her life was over. How could this have happened so quickly? It was a nightmare and she pinched herself to check whether or not it was real. There was no doubt that she could never show herself in public....not in this way. She cried out again in anguish and turned her eyes away from the mirror in despair, reaching out with one arm to steady herself to the bed. It was a bitter end to her life and she would have no answer when people wanted to know how she had aged so fast.

  She turned again towards the mirror, hoping that the image would disappear but it failed to do so. It was real; she was a very old woman! After looking at herself for the best part of two minutes, with her brain seizing up on the fear of dying, she returned to the bed and sobbed heartily as a result of her adverse condition. It wasn’t long before she fell asleep. When she awoke in the morning, she hurried to the mirror again with fear striking in her heart. To her amazement, her face and body had restored themselve
s and her hair had turned black again. She was normal...once more a forty-three year old woman who looked as though she was only twenty-eight. She was very aware how it had happened and she was determined not to make the same mistake again. She would never take three ferradil-x tablets instead of the two either morning or night. It would never happen again! She peered deeply into the mirror touching her face with the tips of her fingers, delighted that her body had also returned to normally. It was an experience she hope would never occur at any time in the future.

  Chapter Ten

  Diana was having lunch in the dining room watching the television a month later when the doorbell rang. She answered it to face a short stubby middle-aged man wearing a smart grey-striped suit. His podgy face exhibited thick flabby lips and his black hair was parted neatly in the middle. He held a large bouquet of beautiful flowers in his hand which he held before him.

  ‘Hello!’ he greeted warmly with a smile touching his flabby lips. ‘You may remember me. I’m Alan Greenfield. I’ve been here three times at your parties.’ He offered her the flowers but she refused to take them staring at him without recognition. As far as she was concerned, he was a complete stranger to her. ‘I have something important to discuss.’

  ‘I don’t remember you,’ Mr. Greenfield,’ she returned, biting her bottom lip for failing to recall any incident with the man.

  ‘I know all about your amnesia,’ he went on. ‘I spoke to Charles the other day and he told me about your condition.

  She riled at the thought that she was being discussed with other people by her husband. ‘You know my husband?’ The last thing she expected was a friend of her husband to call on her.

  ‘Yes...you might say that we work together.’ He paused as though to pick up courage offering her the bouquet again but she ignored his action. ‘May I come in? I’d like to talk to you. It is important.’