Baby Mine (Stubborn Texas Siblings Book 1)

by Faith Loveright

  In the last week, he’d spent a lot of time in the cemetery, crouched at Victoria’s grave. The more time he spent thinking about Madeline, the guiltier he felt and the more he’d felt the need to go to the cement marker with his wife’s name engraved on it. If for no other reason than because he thought he owed it to her to right the wrong that he was inflicting on her due to his wayward thoughts.

  He thought about the pretty paintings that Madeline had lovingly convinced her friend to come and put up on the nursery wall. There were horses, birds, butterflies, lilies, roses, clouds, a barn, and the silhouette of a cowgirl swinging a lasso over her head. A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he recalled the satisfaction on Madeline’s face when she’d stood back and stared at the finished painting. Then he remembered how pleased she had been when she’d seen the crib he’d built and then painted to match the wall… all pink with tiny animals engraved into the wood.

  It had made him feel ten feet tall, putting that smile on her face. He tried hard not to think about what that might mean. There was no way he was admitting to the growing feelings he was experiencing regarding the good doctor. His mind moved forward, thinking about how she looked with her head bent over her research papers. Madeline was a beautiful woman and pregnancy agreed with her, big time. She’d been impossibly gorgeous when he’d first seen her, but now… with the lovely glow of pregnancy added to her beauty, she was so breathtakingly stunning, it was all he could do to keep his tongue in his mouth around her.

  He looked towards the house and saw the lights shining through the kitchen window and the longing that he felt to go to her almost brought him to his knees. “I’m havin’ a real tough time, fighting this; Vic…” he murmured under his breath.

  The wind blew harder and the birds chirped overhead. He heard the teakettle sounding through the kitchen window and he felt as if it was calling to him. “This is so much harder than I thought it would be when I insisted she move in here with me,” he mumbled, kicking the horse in the side to quicken the speed of the gallop.

  Before long, he ended up at the cemetery and he jumped off his horse and tethered it to a post before making his way to the bench that sat next to the headstone that marked Victoria’s grave. He sat down and took his hat off, spinning it in his hands. “I don’t know what to do, Vic.”

  A large hand settled on his shoulder and he looked up to find his little brother, standing there, looking down at him. “I do… you need to admit that you’re still alive and start acting the part. It’s what she would want for you, and you’d know it too, if you stopped for a half a second to really think about it.”

  “Jeff, I’m really not in the mood,” Eric grumbled, refusing to look at his brother instead of at Victoria’s headstone.

  “Well, big brother, that’s just tough,” Jeff said, settling onto the bench beside Eric. “Clearly, you need to hear this. If you are here, talking to Victoria about the draw you clearly feel for Madeline, you must feel that there is a real reason why you should be making a confession. Vic wouldn’t have wanted you to sit on the sidelines for the rest of your life, big brother. She would have wanted you to get your stubborn butt back in the game. You’re actually attracted to a woman for the first time since Vic died, Eric. You know how rare that is. This isn’t something you can afford to just ignore. You’re miserable. Anyone who knows you can see that you are. You’re not the sort of man who can just bounce from woman to woman without it meaning anything anymore than you can just go the rest of your life without sex. You’re not a monk, Eric. It’s time you stopped living like it.”

  “The baby is due in three weeks,” Eric said, running his hand over his hair, making it stand straight on end. “It’s been Hell, ignoring her. I was drawn to her when I first met her,” he admitted, sobbing in despair. “I feel so guilty, bro. The more time I spend around her, the more I find I want her… Everything about it is so wrong, Jeff. I’m at a loss as to what to do about it. I feel like I’m cheating on the only woman I’ve ever loved.”

  “Vic would have wanted you to be happy, bro. If you’re that drawn to this woman, you know if she could talk to you right now, she’d tell you to go for it.”

  “My wife would most certainly not encourage me to go after another woman, just because for some inexplicable reason, my body wants her a little more with every day that passes.”

  Jeff tipped his head back and laughed. “Dude, you have got it so bad, you can’t even seem to see it with your own two eyes. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s great. This Madeline woman is good for you, big brother. I can see that if you’d let yourself give in to what you’re feeling, you’d be happy. For the first time since that horrible day when Vic was killed in that accident. You’ll have to forgive me, if I want what’s best for my brother. I know that Victoria would have agreed with me. You’ve got to stop fighting this, Eric. It’s time to let yourself live again.”

  “You make it sound so easy. Like I could just snap my fingers and turn off my feelings for my dead wife,” he said, nodding towards the headstone. “I loved that woman for over a decade, Jeff. You can’t just decide to let it go and start something new, just like that,” he grouched, snapping his fingers for emphasis.

  “Well, it doesn’t sound to me like you’ve got much of a choice, big brother. You are moving on, in your own mind at least, with or without meaning to. My advice to you is to just … let it happen.”

  “Easy for you to say,” Eric mumbled under his breath. Jeff chuckled and slapped him on the back. “Yeah… it is easy for me to say, and if you’d stop being such a martyr, it would be as easy for you to do as it is for me to say.”

  Giving his older brother one last pat on the back, Jeff stood up and walked towards where he’d left his horse beside Eric’s. “Just… think it over. Victoria would have wanted to see you happily moved on with your life.”

  Eric looked down at the headstone and cleared his throat after Jeff rode away. “Well, I guess, where answers go, that one couldn’t have been clearer… I suppose you expect me to say I understand and that I’ll be happy to give you what you want. All I can do is offer to do my best. I can’t promise you much, but if what you just sent my brother to tell me is how you really feel… I’ll do all I can to make you happy.”

  It was with a heavy heart that he strode away from the grave site and hopped back on his horse. It was time to stop fighting so hard and think about what his intense desire for Madeline, really meant.

  Chapter 9

  The next morning when Madeline came down the stairs, she stilled at the sight that greeted her. Eric was standing in the middle of the kitchen wearing only a pair of jeans and his boots. Droplets of water ran down his bare chest towards his waistline and she wanted to lick them from his hot skin.

  This was far from the first time she’d ever looked at the man and had naughty thoughts. The further along her pregnancy got, the more often the thoughts bombarded her. Moments like this weren’t exactly making things any easier. A lump of nerves formed in her throat as she stepped into the room.

  “I thought you’d be out in the barn by now…” she said, waddling to the fridge to grab something to eat.

  “Came back in an hour ago. I didn’t have the heart to wake you. You don’t get nearly enough rest as it is, these days. I’m glad that you aren’t trying to work. As it is, every time you flinch, I wonder if it’s time to worry about getting you to the hospital.”

  The surprise on her face was clear and he couldn’t help but grin as he tipped the cup of coffee he was holding to his lips. He knew that she hadn’t come to expect anything but surliness from him. He’d been a grumpy bear ever since he’d moved her in to the house with him and he knew why. What’s more, he was fairly sure she knew the reason for his bad mood too.

  “Sorry I was so late coming in last night,” he said, hiding his smile behind his mug. “I decided to go down to the cemetery. Ran into my little brother there…”

  “Oh? How is Jeff?”

  Eric r
aised his eyebrows and lowered the cup to his side. “He was surprisingly full of insight for a change. For a guy who wants nothing to do with a personal relationship of any sort, he was shockingly intuitive and observant as to what was going on with me.”

  “What is going on with you?” she asked, plopping into a kitchen chair, feeling overwhelmed.

  He chuckled and signaled a toast to her in mid-air with his coffee cup. “As if you don’t know. I’m afraid I haven’t been very good at hiding the way I feel around you.”

  Madeline gasped and settled her hand on her belly. She wanted to pursue where he was going with that comment more than anything, but in that moment, she knew that she would have to wait.

  “As much as I’d like to hear what comes next, I think you’ll need to hold off on telling me,” she interrupted him. A tear rolled down her face and she nodded her head at the panicked look he shot her way. “It’s time…”

  Panic filled Eric as he fumbled in the drawer for the keys to his truck. He’d known in his head that this day would eventually come, but the reality that it was actually upon him seemed unreal. This woman had completely turned his life upside down with the drama she’d brought into his home, but he felt that it was a good thing. He was willing to admit to himself that he’d needed a good shaking up.

  As crazy as their nonexistent relationship was, he thought they’d make amazing parents. This baby was going to be most likely, the most spoiled little girl on the planet, between the two of them. They were each determined to give their daughter the best life possible. There was no doubt that Lillie Rose would be well loved. The only question was whether or not her parents could continue to coexist after she was born.

  Eric ran out to the truck with her suitcase in tow. He tossed it carelessly into the back and went back to help her out to the truck since she was in the middle of a rather intense contraction.

  “Easy,” he soothed as she doubled over in pain just beside the truck. It was his go to mode around skittish animals and at the moment, that was exactly what Madeline reminded him of.

  “Don’t you tell me to take it easy,” she snapped at him. “You try having something the size of a watermelon threaten to come out a hole the size of a pea that’s never had anything but a spectrum up inside of it, and see how YOU feel. Easy, my ass,” she grumbled sourly.

  Eric couldn’t help the smile that came over his face at the image that she’d placed in his mind with that little comparison. Then the other part of what she’d accidentally told him really sank in.

  “You mean to tell me, you’ve never… Not even once?”

  “No,” she grumbled. “How pathetic is that? Me… nearly thirty years old and I’ve never even had a serious boyfriend. There were always prettier women around… easier women… smarter, more successful women… I came in a sorry last place like the ugly duckling in the midst of a sea of swans. That’s the real reason why I turned to a damn fertility clinic to supply the sperm I needed to make a baby. I’d realized that it was the only way I was ever going to stand a chance of becoming a mother. So sue me.”

  Not willing to touch that one with a ten foot pole, Eric opted to keep his mouth shut while he helped her into the cab of the truck and shut her door behind her. On the way to the hospital, she screamed and he knew he had to say or do something to get her mind off the pain, so he swallowed his pride and admitted what he’d been thinking when she’d declared herself an ugly duckling.

  “For the record … I think that the blind idiots you were surrounded by who chose other women over you; were stupid… clueless morons who don’t deserve to have a fantastic, smart beautiful woman on their arm anyway. Any man who could look at you and not see just how desirable you are isn’t worth the crap on the bottom of your shoe as you step over him. I’ll tell you this… if there were so called ugly ducklings around that looked like you when I was in school, there would have been a whole Hell of a lot more happy cowboys in the area; and that’s no lie.”

  They were flying over the road towards the hospital where she worked and Madeline was relieved that she had Eric with her for support. She couldn’t imagine having gone through this on her own as she had planned. It was nice, having someone to lean on in times of strife.

  As he pulled in to the parking lot, Eric released the breath he hadn’t even realized he was holding. Nerves had him going in at least ten different directions at once. He hopped out of the truck and ran around to her side, helping her out and gliding her body slowly down his.

  Madeline’s eyes grew wide as she saw the look of longing on his face as her heavily rounded belly rubbed against his body. Then she felt the hard press of his erection poking into her before he groaned and reluctantly turned her around and pointed her towards the double automatic doors and helped her make her way over the length of the parking lot without another word.

  She wanted to ask him what was going on, but another strong contraction hit her and it was all she could do to breathe through it. By the time she was settled in a hospital bed and some of her coworkers were swarming her room, all Madeline wanted was for all them to go away and leave her in her misery … just herself and Eric… and perhaps the doctor who was meant to deliver her daughter. Thankfully, Eric seemed to sense her discomfort and he shooed everyone but the doctor out of the room.

  His eyes scraped slowly over her body, so hot, she could feel the heat all the way from the bed. If another powerful contraction hadn’t hit her, she might have been tempted to ask him to come over and show her what he was thinking about.

  The next thing she knew, she was pushing and the doctor was telling them that the baby was a girl. If she weren’t in so much pain, she would have been tempted to tell the teary-eyed cowboy at her side that she’d told him so. They would be words she would take great pleasure in saying … But if it meant finding out where he planned on taking the flame of desire she’d seen in his eyes earlier, she’d happily let it slide.

  Sweet little cries filled the silence and Madeline felt her heart skip a beat in response. The big man at her side stilled and his eyes were glued to the tiny little girl as the doctor cleaned her up and wrapped her in a soft pink blanket. He seemed so far away. She could only imagine where he’d gone. She had a feeling that she wouldn’t want to know, since she was fairly certain wherever it was, he’d gone; his dead wife was involved… Most likely, he was picturing her lying in the bed in her stead, having birthed his sweet baby girl.

  All the sudden, she didn’t feel so good and she couldn’t handle having him there in the room with her any more. She needed to be alone with her daughter. “Eric… would you mind?” she asked, nodding towards the door, hoping he got the message.

  His eyes shot back to hers and his brows dipped as he frowned. “There’s no way I’m leaving this room without her,” he said, nodding towards the baby girl who was being placed on her chest.

  The nurse cleared her throat and looked up at Eric. “I was just getting ready to take the baby to the nursery to be weighed and get her first shots… Her daddy is more than welcome to join us, to give the new mommy time to rest.”

  Madeline opened her mouth to argue but Eric beat her to the punch. “This Daddy will be more than happy to accompany his precious baby girl just about anywhere. I’m not letting that little angel out of my sight… Ever.”

  Sighing in resignation, Madeline nodded her head in agreement. “Her name is Lillie Rose.”

  The nurse took note of the name. “And her last name?”

  Both Eric and Madeline gave their last names at the same time and they shot a nasty glare in each other’s direction. She could tell by the way he was holding himself stiffly erect, that if she fought him on this, he would argue to the death if need be. He wouldn’t relent until she agreed to give her daughter his last name. It was a small price to pay in order to keep the peace with him. Now that she’d held the sweet baby girl she loved so much in her arms, there was no way she was taking any chances that the stubborn cowboy might find a reason to take t
heir daughter from her.

  “Schmidt,” she heard herself agree. “She should have her Daddy’s last name.”

  Eric felt as if she’d handed him the most precious gift a man could receive and he felt as if his heart had suddenly taken on the weight of an elephant. “Thank you,” he said, his voice thick with emotion.

  “Don’t thank me… just… go. See that our daughter is safe and well cared for, while I take a much needed nap. We can talk later.” Her voice was soft and sweet.

  He smiled past his tears and nodded in agreement. Turning around, he followed the nurse down the hall. Madeline needed to take time to herself to rest, and he needed to be with that sweet baby girl. The moment he’d seen those steel grey eyes look up at him, his heart had swelled with love for her.

  When they got back home, somehow, they would all find a way to be a family together. It had to mean something that when he’d looked at Lillie Rose, he hadn’t seen Victoria in her at all. As a matter of fact, he could have sworn he’d seen a bit of the beautiful woman who’d given birth to his daughter in her, even though that was impossible. Whatever the reason for that, he knew he needed to embrace the change of heart he was experiencing. Perhaps there was a ring of truth in his younger brother’s words… Maybe it was time to let the past die, and let himself live again.

  Chapter 10

  Jeff poked his head into the room and cleared his throat loudly, waking Madeline up. “My brother?” he asked, looking around.

  “In the nursery with Lillie Rose. He doesn’t trust anyone with her enough to let her out of his sight,” she answered, yawning widely.

  “Hardly surprising, given the way he lost her mother… oh… sorry,” he said, flinching as he realized what he’d said. “When Victoria died in that car accident, while calling him to tell him that she’d just gotten the test results back to say she could have the eggs implanted in a few days; he thought he had lost all chances of being a father to her children. Don’t get me wrong… I realize that you’re the baby’s mother in every way that matters, but that has to be a battle in my brother’s head. I just stopped in to let you know that I dropped the car seat my brother asked me to bring, off. I put it in the truck cab and buckled it in place for you.”