Tolerance (Heart of Stone)

by Sidebottom, D H

  “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?” Mason demanded and my eyes flew open as I cringed and swallowed noisily “Erm…” I spluttered around the mouthful of soap.

  His eyes were wide and fixed on my mouth “Erm…” I whispered guiltily but I slowly sneaked it up to mouth. I saw him step forward so I hastily took another mouthful “God dammit Ava” he bellowed and tried to wrestle the soap from my hand “Why the hell are you eating soap?” he asked as we both struggled to keep a hold of the bar.

  I scowled and tried to stop him from opening my fingers “Ava! Give me the bloody soap” he growled and I shook my head, pouting and sulking “No, I need it” I snarled, pulling at it again, trying to force his hand that still had a grip on it up to my mouth.

  He growled and whipped it out of my hand and held it behind him “Give it me” I pleaded as I tried to reach around him “What is wrong with you?” he scowled and moved it away again.

  I stood still as my bottom lip actually stuck out and trembled and I started crying; I needed the damn soap, my body was screaming out for it. Mason gasped at the sight of me, his features softening immediately and he gently took hold of my arms “Ava, what’s wrong?” he asked softly.

  My heart rejoiced at his touch, my pores and skin thrilled with his contact but my hormones and taste buds were crying out for the soap and as the emotions clashed I let out a huge shuddering sob “I need the soap Mason…please” I begged. His jaw dropped open and his eyes widened “Ava…” another sob broke free and the tears flowed freely.

  He ushered me in his arms “Don’t cry baby” he soothed “Ssshhh” My eyes closed as I sagged against him and tentatively put my arms around him, allowing myself a little bit of pleasure from his embrace. His face settled in my hair and we both let out a hefty sigh, as though our bodies had been needing this moment for a long time, our souls revelled at the reunion and our bodies hummed in delight at the connection and my libido soared, arousal already seeping into my knickers at his touch.

  I closed my eyes and silently reprimanded myself. I shouldn’t be doing this, I was letting myself get carried away and it would be heart wrenching to break free but I knew I had to do it.

  I noticed Mason seemed reluctant to let me go as I gently pulled away and his eyes flinched as I stepped back. He looked in pain and my eyes flicked over the huge swell at his crotch, very evident against his grey joggers. I was overjoyed; No! I was damn delighted to know he still desired me as much as he used to.

  My lips twitched and I bit my bottom lip to stop the smile that was threatening to lift my lips. He coughed slightly and looked away, an angry expression marred his beautiful face and my stomach plummeted at his obvious annoyance that his body had reacted to me.

  “If I could just have the soap, I’ll be going” I said sadly, still hurt by his resentment “Why do you need the bloody soap Ava?” he scowled and I huffed “Because Courtney won’t let me have any” I snapped, now infuriated with him. How dare he keep me away from the soap!

  “Well isn’t that fucking obvious. Why the fuck are you eating the stuff anyway?” he snapped back, his fury rising.

  I glared at him “Isn’t it fucking obvious” I mimicked “I fucking need it, I crave it Mason. It’s called being fucking pregnant. Not that you could give a shit!” I cried, so bloody angry that he hadn’t the slightest interest in his babies yet here he was telling me what I could and couldn’t eat.

  He grit his teeth at my outburst, the fire in his eyes was blazing and his fists were clenched severely at his sides “Of course I fucking care” he growled and I scoffed “Oh really, then where the hell have you been so far?” I shouted

  “Ava…” he warned and my fury snapped “Oh I’m sorry, my names not fucking Rebecca is it” I threw at him and stomped over to my case. He sucked in a hiss of air “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” he demanded and I shook my head in despair “It means…that you attended each and every one of Rebecca’s antenatal appointments but where the hell have you been for mine eh?” I challenged.

  He scowled furiously “Well maybe if you hadn’t been a whore and fucking screwed Kade I would be there!” he roared and I recoiled as though he had slapped me, Wow that hurt.

  I swallowed harshly and the tears welled again.

  I nodded sadly and refusing to look at him, picked up my case and walked away “Shit Ava, I shouldn’t have said that, I’m sorry” he grasped my forearm and I halted but refused to look at him “I know Mason and believe me nobody fucking hates me more than I do for what I did to you but…” I gulped back the pain of his words “but it’s not your babies’ fault their mother is a fucking whore!” I yanked my arm free and hurried down the stairs.

  “Ava…” he choked out as I reached the front door. I turned and lifted my eyes to his “I really am sorry” he breathed and I nodded softly “Me too Mason” I said sadly and walked through the door.

  I needed my best friend, her comfort and love to wipe away the hurt of Mason’s words. I quickly scrambled into my car and made it to her house in record time, flinging myself through her front door, in a mixture of rage, pain and hurt.

  “Hun?” I shouted to her as I threw open her kitchen door “Shit, shit, shit!” I wailed and swiftly turned on my heels and re-entered the hallway. The vision of Courtney being nailed on her kitchen table by Greg will never leave my retinas, scorched on for the rest of my life. I heard their laughter from behind the door “I am so sorry guys, I’ll just wait in the room” I shouted as I turned towards her lounge “Don’t be too long though, I’m hungry” I added on a huff and I heard another eruption of laughter.

  Plonking my weary body on her sofa I let out a huge sigh. If you hadn’t been a whore. His harsh words resounded in my head. If you hadn’t been a whore. A tear trickled down my face, slowly and solitary. Oh that hurt! I already knew he hated me but to push his babies away because of what he thought of me was so painful. “I’m so sorry peanuts” I sighed, rubbing my tummy.

  The room door opened and Courtney came in with mugs of coffee and Greg followed with a jar of peanut butter and a family size can of gherkins. She narrowed her eyes on me than sighed deeply “I take it didn’t go well then” she said as she handed me coffee. I shook my head and reached out for the goodies Greg held. He eyed me curiously as I whipped open both jars with speed and dug in

  “He called me a whore” I grumbled as I took a large bite of my ultimate comfort “HE FUCKING WHAT?” Courtney exploded and both Greg and I flinched. I snorted “Well I am, aren’t I?” She growled and I had never heard Courtney growl, even Greg looked shit scared at that moment “You are not a fucking whore Ava!” she expressed loudly and I shrugged again

  “What exactly did he say Ava?” Greg asked, looking dumb founded “I asked him why he didn’t want anything to do with his babies and he said, and I quote, if you hadn’t been a whore and fucked Kade then I would be there for you” I gave up with the gherkins and just dipped my finger into the butter.

  Greg seemed genuinely shocked. I finally raised my eyes to Courtney and the tears flowed “I am a fucking whore” I sobbed and she huddled me up tightly “No babe, you’re not” she whispered gently as I wept.

  Greg stood abruptly and left the room and I looked at her “I am so sorry Courtney, if I’d have known, well I wouldn’t have…” I trailed off and she grinned at me “Don’t worry Ava, I’ll have him to myself for a whole week” she grinned happily.

  Greg returned, looking a bit flushed and angry “You okay?” Courtney asked and he clenched his teeth but nodded and she narrowed her eyes on him. My phone trilled a text alert in my bag and I reached for it

  MASON

  Ava, I am so sorry for what I said. I didn’t mean it; I was just…well I was just being my usual shitty self. Anyway again, I’m so sorry x

  I narrowed my eyes on Greg “Did you phone Mason?” I asked slowly. He shrugged “I can’t understand why he said that to you Ava. Its total opposite of how he feels” he shook his head sadly and took a gulp of
his coffee “What do you mean?” I cocked my head at him and he eyed me nervously as though he realised what he’d just said “Erm nothing” I could see him mentally kicking himself “Greg?” Courtney asked with a warning tone.

  “This does not leave this room” he glared at us both and we nodded and then he turned to me “He’s a mess without you Ava. He’s constantly moody and angry. He’s drinking every night and a couple of weeks ago he got raging drunk in the club and me and Sam had to carry him out and take him home but he just kept mumbling how much he loves you and misses you and then started going on about hurting you and biting you or something” he said quietly and gave me a timid smile.

  I instinctively rubbed the scar on my neck and sighed “He turned up at mine drunk a couple of weeks ago. Kind of got a bit heated…he lost control and got a bit rough”

  Courtney flew out of her chair and Greg’s face darkened and I put my hands up to placate them “No, no nothing I couldn’t handle, he just kind of…well you know” I cringed and Courtney snorted “Oh Yeah, I’ve seen the DVD remember” she winked and then chuckled “DVD?” Greg asked and I shook my head with a laugh and she turned to him “Let’s just say Ava and Mason have pretty…what shall we say? Very active sex” she pursed her lips and I widened my eyes at her but she waved me away and chuckled.

  Greg’s eyebrows lifted and then he chuckled “I’m sure I could manage ‘active’ if that’s what makes you hot Baby” he grabbed Courtney and pulled her onto his lap as they both laughed.

  I missed that sense of intimacy and fun with someone you loved, the simple act of sitting in his lap and feeling his breath on my neck as his arms circled and held me. “I’m gonna get off, laundry and shopping” I stood and bend down to kiss Courtneys cheek “Enjoy your week away” I smiled as her eyes twinkled and left them to carry on with what I had interrupted.

  CHAPTER 3

  I rang Kerrie Sunday morning “Hey Sweetie” she greeted after the second ring “Hi, how are you Hun?” I asked “I’m good, how’s my little people?!” I smiled at her reference “That’s why I’m ringing you actually. I have a scan tomorrow and wondered if you wanted to come and say hi to them?”

  She was silent for a moment “What time Ava?” I frowned at her reluctance “11:30” I said simply and she huffed “Oh sweetie, I have my chemo at 11:00”

  I had forgotten about her treatment, that’s why I heard her hesitancy “Hey, no problem. I’ll be fine on my own. You sort yourself out Hun” I told her and I heard her pause again “Won’t Courtney be going with you Ava?” she asked slowly “No, she’s in France at the moment with Greg. It’s no problem Kerrie” I heard her sigh heavily “What about Mason?” she asked cautiously and I swallowed my sadness down “Erm No, he’s made it quite clear he’s not…well not bothered. Honestly Kerrie, it was just a thought. I’ll make sure you are available for the next one, how’s that?” she chuckled “Blow my little people a kiss from their Aunty Kerrie” she chirped happily and I beamed down the phone “I will, the peanuts send you their love” I told her and she giggled, already aware of my nickname for my babies.

  So this is why Monday morning I was sat outside the sonographer’s room alone, a large bottle of water tucked under my arm and a jar of peanut butter in one hand with a finger from the other hand scooping huge quantities into my mouth.

  My phone alerted me to a text and I tried to balance the jar between my knees so I didn’t have to stop gorging out

  COURTNEY

  Hey Babe. France is wonderful…not that we’ve seen much ;-) give the peanuts a wave from me

  Love ya xxx

  I was face down texting a reply when I caught a glimpse of someone sit in the empty chair next to me.

  ME

  I will, I’m glad you are having fun. Stop being such a horny tart and enjoy France ;-)

  Luv ya too xxx

  I took another scoop of butter while I answered another text I had received from George and sighed in pleasure

  “What the hell are you eating now?” Masons voice asked from beside me. I jolted and spun my head round and stared wide eyed at him, in shock or disbelief, I wasn’t sure which or if it was both.

  He looked his usual gorgeousness, wearing a fitted white shirt and grey tie and those grey trousers than skimmed his hard, toned backside and I was already willing him to stand up so I could catch a glimpse of it.

  “Erm hi” I stuttered and he smiled sheepishly “Bit of a shock?” he smiled now, his eyes glittering and my heart melted “Erm…yeah” I couldn’t seem to form eligible words. He looked away with a guilty expression on his face “Erm how did you…?” I frowned and he turned back to me “Kerrie rang me” he said simply “Oh” My heart sank, I had hoped he’d wanted to be here not been made by his sister to come. He frowned at me when he saw my sad expression “I asked her if she’d heard from you and she said you were here today so I asked her what time and well, here I am” he shrugged but smiled softly at me “I owe you an apology Ava” he said shamefacedly but I shrugged at him “Why, for being honest?” he scowled at me when the door to the side of us opened

  “Ava Stone” the technician called and I shoved the peanut butter in my bag and stood up “Oh hey Ava” he smiled as he swiftly shifted his eyes over me; it was the same man from my previous scan and I was surprised he remembered me with the amount of people he got to examine every day. I grinned happily at him “Hi” he gestured for me to enter the room and I took a step forwards but Mason didn’t move.

  I turned back to him and his gaze was fixed on the technician, his eyes were narrowed and his fists were tight and I frowned at him. Was he scared? “You coming?” I asked softly and his eyes flicked to mine and the haze in them cleared suddenly and he nodded.

  “Bed Ava” the technician winked at me and patted the blue sheeted examination table beside him and I shook my head in humour, noticing that his name badge identified him as Ethan Havenshaw.

  I scrambled on and lay back as Mason took the seat beside me, still glaring at Ethan “I’m just gonna lift your dress Ava” he said as he rolled it up to under my breasts and I grimaced at the slight snarl that rumbled in Masons throat “Why didn’t you wear something he could pull down instead of up?” Mason grumbled and I glowered at him “Because, I can’t get my belly in any of the trousers or skirts I’ve got. It was either this or joggers” I snapped and he huffed.

  Ethan looked at us wide eyed “Erm are you Ava’s partner?” he asked and I shook my head “He’s the father but we’re not together” I informed him and Mason stiffened. What the hell had I done wrong now? Ethan smiled timidly and squirted some Gel on my stomach “Ready mum?” he smiled and swiped my stomach with the transducer.

  My heart flipped as my babies emerged on the screen “There they are” he smiled and clicked away at the keyboard. “Hey peanuts” I grinned and I felt Masons hand slip into mine.

  I turned to look at him and my heart skipped a beat; he had tears in his eyes and the extreme look of awe on his face halted my breath. “Hey” I said softly and he swallowed and turned slowly to me, his eyes were so full of love and adoration that I instantly felt the prick of tears in my own. He stroked his thumb across my knuckles and I pulled in a sharp breath at the familiarity of it “There’s thousands of fragments of me and you, bundled up into two little lives Ava” he whispered.

  OH WOW!! His words choked a sob from my throat and he leant down and placed his lips against my forehead, softly kissing me as another tear rolled down my cheek. He closed his eyes and rested his lips against my head for a moment and then sighed loudly as if it physically hurt him and sat back up.

  Ethan was frowning slightly at us but a small smile played at his lips “Picture mum?” he asked warmly and I nodded “Dad?” he lifted his brows in query at Mason who also nodded.

  We sat hand in hand staring at our babies until Ethan smiled at us “The peanuts are growing nicely Ava” he winked “You remembered” I smiled “How could I forget, there’s not many patients who cal
l their babies peanuts” he chuckled and I felt Masons’ hand tighten in mine. Was he jealous?

  Ethan reached out with a piece of towel to wipe my stomach and Mason practically snatched it from him “I’ll clean her” he snapped and I rolled my eyes at Ethan and mouthed ‘sorry’, he smirked and shook his head slightly as Mason gently wiped across my stomach and swallowed hard as he got near my knicker line. He smiled sheepishly at me as he traced along the edge and I raised an eyebrow at him. Seriously? He’d been closer than that plenty of times.

  I climbed from the bed and lowered my dress “See you in a few weeks Ava. They want to keep a close eye on you after last time” he informed me as he passed us the photos and Mason slipped his hand in mine again, a sad look flicked across his eyes and I squeezed his fingers.

  He smiled softly and pulled me from the room; his hand gripping mine tightly and we made our way to the lift to take us back down to the ground floor. He was silent and morose as we descended and when we exited he stopped and turned to me “You want to grab a drink?” he asked quietly and I shrugged, confusion written in my face “God Ava, I just want to buy you a coffee” he said with a scowl “Okay” I squeaked and he smiled then, his beautiful, just for me smile and I had to inhale sharply at the sight of it.

  He was still demanding my hand as we walked into the hospital café and got in line “You want anything to eat?” he asked, glancing at me and I grinned and picked up a chicken salad sandwich, a sausage roll, a packet of ready salted crisps and a blueberry muffin. Mason eyes widened and his jaw dropped at my selection “Wow, you hungry Ava?” he smirked and I smiled shyly “The peanuts will demolish this lot within 30 minutes” I informed him with a huff “Peanuts? I keep hearing that word today” he said as we shuffled up the queue “It’s mine and Courtneys nickname for the babies” I shrugged and snatched up a packet of shortcakes. Masons eyes shot from me to the tray and I smiled ruefully.