“No,” I said to my inner voice as I wrapped my arms around myself and hurried to the car to get our stuff. I shouldn’t be accepting Nolan’s offer to spend the night, but truth was, the idea of driving around the snowy roads in the backwoods of Minnesota in the dead of night in a car that was on its last legs scared the hell out of me. The idea that Nolan’s generosity could be some kind of trap filtered through my head, but I dismissed it. Newt and I had already been at the house for the better part of an hour, part of which Nolan had spent in the upstairs bedroom with his boyfriend. If he’d wanted to call the cops, he could’ve done it then and they would have arrived by now.
So while I wasn’t keen on hanging around the guy I’d stolen from, especially after all the shit I’d admitted to him about my connection to his ex, Trey, I knew that Newt and I didn’t have a lot of options. I didn’t have enough money to spend on a motel if I wanted to have cash for a place when we got to New York, and since it was way too cold to sleep in the car, accepting Nolan’s offer was the smart way to go. I’d just make sure Newt and I were on the road first thing in the morning. And I had to admit, the idea of sleeping in a bed appealed to me, not to mention Newt could use the normalcy of sleeping in a warm house for a change. There were only so many times I could turn sleeping in the car or in a tent in the woods into a fun adventure, especially when the temperature dropped so low.
Anger went through me at my own stupidity. I’d been in such a hurry to flee our apartment in San Francisco that I’d somehow managed to drop my stash of cash when I’d been packing the car. We hadn’t been wealthy by any means, but I’d done a lot of disgusting shit for that money.
Our moving on money.
I’d eventually remembered the money, of course.
Yeah, about ten hours after the fact. We’d just crossed into Utah and had stopped at a cheap motel for the night. It’d been all I could do not to cry when I’d reached into my pocket only to find the wad of cash gone and realizing I’d likely dropped it on the street outside of our shitty apartment building while I’d been getting my car keys out. The mix of fear and despair had been crushing as the reality of what I was doing had hit me all at once–dragging my little brother across the country with nothing more than a few hundred bucks in my wallet and all our worldly possessions stuffed into our crappy rattrap of a car. It wasn’t like it was a new thing for us, but at least the last couple of times we’d done it, I’d had a little bit of extra cash on me.
After trying to plead my case to the motel owner that I’d clean rooms in the morning in exchange for a night’s stay, he’d made me a much uglier offer. One I’d actually considered for about thirty seconds, since it wasn’t like he’d been asking for something I hadn’t given up before. But I hadn’t been about to leave Newt in the car for the few minutes it would have taken the guy to use me and toss me aside.
So I’d ended up finding a spot near a small lake that had been private enough that Newt and I had made an adventure out of it, including a fire over which we’d roasted hot dogs and marshmallows before snuggling up in a single sleeping bag in the back seat of the car. The second and third nights had been worse, because the weather had turned considerably less accommodating the farther north we’d headed. Last night I’d had to leave the car running most of the night to ward off the subzero temperatures in North Dakota.
So yeah, spending a night in a house where I could actually sleep would be a good thing. It would make it that much easier to get back to normal tomorrow. Hopefully, I’d manage to get us closer to Chicago and the temperature would be a little less frigid. And the second we got to New York, I’d make use of the money that remained and find a decent motel along with someone trustworthy to watch Newt and I’d go out and earn us enough cash to last us a while. Maybe I’d even rent us a house soon.
With a back yard.
And a dog for Newt.
I flinched as I thought about how many dicks I’d have to suck or take up the ass to manage something like that. Maybe not as many as a hooker walking the streets, but I’d stopped considering what I was doing classy about a hundred fucks ago. Didn’t matter that I called myself an escort. It was time to call a spade a spade.
No matter how much money it cost for some guy to bend me over a piece of furniture or whether there was carpet rather than cement beneath my knees when I got down on them, I was still just one thing.
A whore.
At least the brick wall didn’t know that about me. If he did, it sure would have been a lot harder to get in his face like I had. But I had gotten the satisfaction of catching him off guard. No, poking the beast hadn’t been my finest moment, but I hadn’t been about to let the condescending prick set that kind of example for Newt. Maybe I couldn’t give my brother the biggest house or fancy toys and gadgets, but I’d be damned if he would ever allow someone to see him as less.
And that started by making sure I didn’t let anyone treat me that way.
Even if I hadn’t been trying to be someone my brother could look up to, I still wouldn’t have let Maddox the Dick’s treatment of me slide. I’d gotten enough of that shit from Gary, thank you very much.
And I’d been doing swimmingly until Maddox the Asshat had tossed that last line over his shoulder.
Don’t steal anything.
“Dick,” I muttered as I reached the car and opened the back door.
“You always talk to yourself like that?”
I jumped at the sound of the deep voice and immediately hit my head on the doorframe. “Ow, fudge!” I cried out as I grabbed my head and turned around. “What the ever-loving heck?” I bit out when I saw Maddox standing not five feet behind me.
“Fudge? Heck? Are you for real?” he drawled as he moved closer to me. A flood lamp attached to the front of the house illuminated his hard features. Not surprisingly, there was no smile to accompany his words.
“Jesus,” I snapped as I rubbed the knot that was already forming on my head.
“So is calling out to the lord a punishable offense or not?” he asked as he stepped into my personal space. I realized with dismay that I hadn’t moved quickly enough to keep him from caging me between the open car door and his body. A vision of the many times I’d be calling out to God and Jesus and any other deities who were willing to listen as this man’s big body moved over mine had me swallowing hard. I drew in a breath and reminded myself that I knew how to deal with guys like him.
“Depends on who’s doing the punishing,” I said, injecting a huskiness into my voice that I knew guys liked.
Well, the not-so-straight ones, anyway. But it would serve a purpose in this case too. I let my fingers slide down my cheek and then slowly along the column of my throat. It was kind of a girly move, but it rarely failed me.
But of course, nothing about today was going my way, so why should this be any different?
Maddox held my gaze as he planted a big hand on the car next to my head.
“That shit really work with guys?” he asked.
“Does this?” I asked as I motioned to his big body. “What? Am I supposed to be trembling in fear? Should I be asking you what you want or begging you not to hurt me?” I asked. “Please, I’ve eaten pricks like you for breakfast,” I said with false bravado. It was true, I’d dealt with my fair share of different kinds of assholes, some who’d even managed to scare the hell out of me, but I’d always been able to find their weak spot pretty quickly. Usually it was just a matter of trying to tailor my temperament to match theirs. Most wanted compliant or sweet or coy. A few of them had wanted kinkier shit. It was only on the rarest of occasions I ran into men who were only interested in inflicting pain and terror, no matter what version of me I gave them. Fortunately, I’d learned early on how to spot those guys and steer clear of them.
To prove my point, I turned around and bent over so I could grab the duffel bag from the far side of the back seat. I was pretty much putting on a show for Maddox as I wiggled my ass while pretending to struggle to reach the bag,
but that was the entire point. He already thought I was a thief. Add in slutty, over-the-top fag and I’d have him on his way in no time.
Or so I thought.
But when my ass brushed his body, he didn’t move back. So I waited for him to grab me and grind his dick against me, but he didn’t do that either. I snagged the bag and forced myself to turn around.
“Quite the show,” he said.
“Bite me,” I responded before I could stop myself.
“Now what would your kid think of that?” Maddox asked as he studied me.
My kid?
Huh?
“Was your football helmet on too tight in college, Mr. All-American? Newt’s my brother, not my son.”
Maddox held my gaze for a moment. His eyes seemed to slip to my mouth for a second, but the move was so brief, I was sure I’d imagined it.
“Thought you were a little young to have a kid,” he observed.
“Yeah, and a little too gay,” I added, though I wasn’t sure why I needed to point that out, since he clearly knew what I was.
“Figured him calling you by your first name was some kind of newfangled new age thing.”
“Newfangled?” I said. “Um, I hate to break it to you, Grandpa, no one says shi-stuff like that anymore. Unless I ended up back in time in addition to the middle of nowhere,” I added. I wasn’t sure where the jab at his age was coming from, since I figured him to be around thirty, but I held my tongue.
Maddox sighed, then suddenly reached for me. I couldn’t help but shrink back, and I regretted it immediately because something flashed in his eyes.
Fuck.
Now he’d go for my metaphorical jugular for sure.
Since I had no place to go, I had few choices when he wrapped his fingers around my arm. Yeah, I could scream, but what would that accomplish? He’d slap his hand over my mouth before I managed to even get the first sound out.
“Relax,” he said, his voice surprisingly soft. “I just want to make sure you didn’t hurt yourself when you hit your head.”
When you caused me to hit my head was what I wanted to say, but what I actually said was, “I’m fine.”
“Uh-huh.”
He drew me forward just a little, then closed his hands over my cheeks to tilt my head down.
“What’s with the blue?” he asked.
I knew he was referring to my hair, so I retorted, “What’s with having no hair?”
I actually kind of liked his hair. It wasn’t completely shorn, but he definitely favored the military style haircut. It occurred to me that’s probably what he was. He had the bearing of a soldier. I’d noticed a silver chain around his throat earlier when we’d been practically nose to nose in the kitchen, but I hadn’t given the jewelry much thought. But I was definitely a little more than curious to know if it wasn’t actual jewelry, but dog tags. “Can’t even tell what color yours is,” I added, like that would somehow make him look like the weird one instead of me.
“It’s dark, like Dallas’s.”
I winced when his fingers pressed against the bump on my head. “You guys do look alike,” I mused. “Except the eyes. His are…”
“What?” Maddox asked. “His are what?”
He pulled back so I could see his face. I didn’t need to see the color of his eyes to know they were an intense green that reminded me of the evergreen trees that dotted the woods around us. “Kinder,” I finally said, though I wasn’t sure why I’d chosen to be so honest. What the hell was wrong with my mouth tonight?
“Can’t argue with that,” he said. “I don’t see any blood.”
Thank god.
Not the blood part, though that was good news, but because it meant he’d finally stop touching me and back away.
Of course, he didn’t.
“Well, I should go inside,” I said. “Newt is waiting for me.”
Jesus, now I was actually lying? Since when had I become such a coward? If I wanted to leave, all I had to do was tell him so.
I was about to do that when Maddox once again caged me against the car before saying, “So what exactly are you running from… Blaze?”
Chapter Three
Maddox
Even though it was dark out and the floodlight didn’t show me as much as I wanted, I had no doubt the already pale Isaac went even paler. He made the mistake of dropping his eyes briefly before lifting them again to meet mine. He jutted his chin out and said, “No idea what you’re talking about.”
“What’s with all the shit in your back seat?” I asked.
“What? You’ve never seen a messy car?”
“Your car passed messy about a thousand miles ago,” I responded. “You were with Nolan’s ex, right? That means you lived in San Francisco.”
“That’s a lot of information you have on your brother’s boyfriend there, He-Man. You got a little man-crush on him, or you looking to add overprotective asshole to your list of titles?”
I knew he was deflecting and while I had no intention of taking the bait, I couldn’t help but press just a little closer to him and drop my voice. “Did I just hear an actual swear word come out of your mouth?” I dropped my gaze to his plump lips.
Plump?
Huh?
I fought back the uncomfortable sensation that flooded my belly and tried to tell myself my dick was hardening in my pants because it’d been months since I’d gotten laid. It certainly didn’t have anything to do with wondering how plump those lips would look when his mouth was open.
Wide open.
“Does that mean I get to punish you now?” I asked as I forced myself to look at his eyes again. They widened for a moment and then he opened his mouth to say something. I was surprised when he snapped it shut again. It seemed unlike him not to have a comeback and I found that it kind of irritated me.
Though I didn’t really know why.
I put some space between us and said, “I have a phone and Google.” I met his eyes. “And believe me, the last thing my brother wants or needs is my protection,” I added, though I wasn’t really sure why. “So again, what are you running from?”
“Newt and I have friends in New York we’re going to stay with. Sorry if that’s not exciting enough. You know, with me being a thief and all. But it is what it is.”
I studied him for a moment. “So, being considered a thief bothers you?” I asked.
“What?” he asked in surprise.
“I called you a goth, not a thief,” I pointed out.
“You told me not to steal anything,” he responded, then seemed to realize what he’d said. “Are we done here?” he said. “Not really interested in playing twenty questions with a goon who probably can only count to twenty-one when he’s naked.”
The jab reeked of desperation to change the subject and I felt a little pang of regret for having gotten him to such a state that he felt the need to do so. I preferred it when he stood toe to toe with me, but he hadn’t managed to even look me in the eye with the last comment. As I studied him, he shivered, but I knew it wasn’t because of me. The nice thing would have been just to let him go in the house and drop the whole thing.
But we’d already established I wasn’t nice.
I shrugged my coat off and closed my hand around his upper arm enough to pull him forward. Then I settled the heavy parka around his slim shoulders. He looked at me in surprise.
“Relax,” I said. “Just don’t want you turning into a popsicle while we do this.”
“Do what?” he asked. “Unless you’re thinking about trying a rainbow flag on for size, we’re done here. And if that’s what you want, you’re kind of shooting yourself in the foot by bundling me up in layers.” He leaned forward just a bit and said, “I’ll let you in on a little secret, straight boy. We gay guys might have a few less clothes that need to come off for the deed, but there’s still a couple of important ones that you gotta figure out how to work.” He glanced down at my pants briefly, and I was supremely glad it was too dark for him to see the
bulge there. “Then again, opposable thumbs that can handle a button and zipper are kind of necessary.”
I felt a smile threatening to tug at the edge of my mouth, but I managed to quell it. As interesting as it was to spar with Isaac, I had more important things that needed dealing with. “So, Blaze, why the stage name? You an actor?”
“Yeah, Meryl Streep asked to borrow my Oscar so she could polish it up for me real nice.”
“Do you even understand the concept of giving a straight answer?” I asked with a sigh.
“I don’t understand the concept of straight, so…”
What had been somewhat amusing a moment ago was turning irritating, so I used my body to force Isaac back against the car. His only choice was to either hold himself still or actually end up falling into the back seat.
“Stop testing me,” I said coolly.
He had the sense not to respond this time, though I could see the comeback was right on his lips.
His still-too-fucking-plump lips.
“Who are you?” I asked. “What’s got you running halfway across the country in the dead of winter in a car that you’d be lucky to get five more minutes out of? And with a kid, no less. Do you have any idea what could happen to you if you got stuck in a ditch somewhere on one of the remote roads out here? What could happen to Newt?”
“Hey!” Isaac suddenly exploded as he shoved me hard. “Don’t you say shit about that! I take good care of Newt. I make sure he gets everything he needs, even if—”
“Even if what?” I asked when he suddenly snapped his mouth shut.
But he remained stubbornly silent and then turned his face away from me. The fire was once again gone and that pissed me off to no end.
“Are we finished here?” he asked.
No.
“Yeah,” I said after a moment and stepped back. “We’re finished.”
Duffel bag in hand, Isaac shoved past me, not bothering to close the car door. My coat looked huge on him as he hurried back to the house, his shoulders stiff and his spine straight.
Just a little too straight.
Sanctuary Found_Pelican Bay [Book 2] Page 3
