Like he was trying too hard to prove how unaffected he was.
I waited until he was inside and then closed the back door. I opened the driver’s side door and reached in to pop the car’s hood. It took just minutes to remove the sparkplugs I wanted. I quickly dropped the hood and then walked toward the house. The kitchen was empty when I entered, but I saw my coat lying on the floor, like it had been shrugged off and forgotten.
It was undoubtedly Isaac’s way of sending me a message. I went to the refrigerator and stashed the sparkplugs in the butter dish, knowing Dallas would eventually find them. Hopefully he’d understand the significance of it. Since our alcoholic parents had had a penchant for driving drunk, as Dallas and I had gotten older, we’d come up with a plan to remove the sparkplugs from our parents’ cars whenever they started losing themselves in the first bottle of alcohol. We’d store the sparkplugs in the butter dish in the fridge and return them to the vehicles the next morning when we knew our parents were sober enough to drive. It’d been our way of protecting both them and innocent people from their alcohol-induced stupidity.
Since there weren’t any concerns with Isaac being a drunk, my hope was finding the sparkplugs would at least cause Dallas to question why they were in the refrigerator in the first place. He wouldn’t necessarily keep Isaac and Newt around simply because I thought that was what needed to happen, but maybe he’d pause long enough to see what I saw.
I closed the fridge and reached down to scoop up my jacket when I heard footsteps on the stairwell. I hated the little flurry of excitement in my belly at the thought of sparring with Isaac again, but it was Nolan who turned the corner and entered the kitchen a moment later. He jumped when he saw me, and I saw him glance at my chest.
Well, not my chest exactly, but the arms I had crossed over my chest. It was just a natural part of my stance, but to him, I supposed it did look somewhat combative and intimidating.
If he only knew what it would take these days to send me to my knees quaking in fear…
“Sorry,” I murmured. “You shouldn’t let him leave. He’s in trouble.”
Surprisingly, Nolan seemed to know exactly who I was talking about. “Did he tell you that?”
“Didn’t need to,” I said. I wasn’t really interested in explaining my instincts when it came to Isaac and his cute little brother, because I couldn’t even make sense of them myself. So I decided to take advantage of the few moments of privacy I had with my brother’s boyfriend. I didn’t know why it mattered so much that I say anything, but it did.
“Dallas gave up believing our parents would change, but I guess I never did. That’s why I didn’t even think to question our father when he said Dallas was driving. Dallas never even denied it.”
I was coming to acknowledge that I’d made a terrible mistake in trusting my father. But that meant accepting my own father had not only lied to me, he’d betrayed his own flesh and blood in the process. And I’d somehow made things even worse for Dallas because his earlier reaction of shock and hurt couldn’t have been faked. He’d clearly been stunned to learn our father had told me Dallas had been the one drinking and he’d insisted on driving, despite both our parents trying to stop him.
Which meant one of my parents had been driving that car…
I couldn’t even process that yet, so I focused on Nolan, who was watching me curiously. “I didn’t think our father was capable of a betrayal like that. But I guess I never thought I was capable of saying what I said to my own brother.” I felt bile rise in my throat as I thought about all the times I’d practically ordered my lawyer to make sure Dallas didn’t get even one cent of his inheritance from our parents’ estate. “I didn’t mean it, but it doesn’t matter. I said it and I let the shame of what I did afterward keep me from telling him how wrong it was.”
“You tried to keep him from getting his half of the inheritance. You let him face this vindictive town by himself for years. The one person he should have been able to count on and you weren’t there.”
Nolan’s words cut into me like glass, but I deserved them. And I was glad he didn’t pull his punches. My brother had chosen himself a valiant protector in the small-framed violinist.
“Yes,” I agreed, because what else could I say? I’d done everything Nolan had accused me of. And that didn’t even include all the internal things I’d had to do to cut Dallas out of my life. Shame curled through me as I turned to go. But my limbs seemed to stop of their own accord. I kept my eyes down–a move wholly unusual for someone like me–and said, “Will you tell him something for me?”
I didn’t expect an answer because I didn’t deserve one, so I continued with, “Tell him… tell him I have his back.”
And with that, I left the house and hurried across the property. It was pitch-dark outside and cold as fuck, but those things made it a little easier to catch my breath and calm my raging nerves. I pulled out my phone as I cut across the property to begin the walk home. I found the number I wanted and dialed.
“Alex, it’s me, Maddox,” I said.
“Hey, Maddox, when did you get back into town?” my friend said. Alex Miller was someone I’d gone to school with. He also happened to be Sheriff Tulley’s deputy.
I didn’t answer him. Instead I said, “I need a favor.”
“Sure, what do you need?”
I pulled in a deep breath and said, “Can you get me the pictures from the accident, specifically of the car?”
Alex hesitated for a beat, then said, “Um, sure.” There was a hint of something in his voice, but I didn’t have the energy to decipher it.
“I need it tonight,” I said. “And I need to talk to you about something else. Can you meet me at my house?”
“Uh… yeah, your house as in—”
“Raven’s Wing,” I cut in. God, I just hated that name. Leave it to my parents to not only build a completely out of place Victorian-era mansion on a bluff overlooking the small town of Pelican Bay, they had to go and give it a name that sounded like it belonged in an Edgar Allan Poe tale. “I’ll be there by nine,” I said as I glanced at the clock on the phone. “Will that be too late for you?”
“No, not at all. I’ll still be on shift, though, so I may have to take a call.”
“That’s fine,” I said. In a town like Pelican Bay, I highly doubted there’d be a lot of calls that time of night. The snow had started to fall again, so most residents knew enough to stay home and wait until the plows made their way around town, and that wouldn’t happen until morning.
At least Isaac and little Newt weren’t going anywhere.
I cursed myself for letting the weird-looking and utterly annoying Isaac back in my head, even for a moment.
“I’ll see you then,” I said to Alex, then hung up. My legs burned as I trudged through the thickening snow, but I welcomed the discomfort. It would have been easier to walk along the road, but I wasn’t looking for easy. I had a lot of shit rolling around in my head and right now, I didn’t want to deal with any of it. If the only way to escape it was to push other parts of my body to their limit, so be it. And if I did have to think about something, it sure as shit couldn’t be how deeply I’d betrayed my brother or the unexpected feelings his cute little new houseguest had stirred in me.
At least with Dallas, I could do what I should have done all along–have his back. But with Isaac… well, that just needed to die a quick death. Despite the innate need to know what troubles Isaac was dealing with, I was starting to wonder if I hadn’t made a serious mistake in manipulating the situation so he was forced to stick around. In truth, part of me really, really wanted him gone by morning. It was a coward’s move, but I sent my eyes heavenward and willed the snow to stop so it would be one less obstacle for Isaac if he did manage to figure out the thing with his car and headed out at first light.
But the snow grew heavier, not lighter, and I couldn’t help but laugh that fate wasn’t going to give me a break on this one.
Yeah, so what else is new?
Chapter Four
Isaac
Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I whispered to myself as I covered my face with my hands in the hopes the move would somehow stave off the tears that were threatening. I was pretty good about not swearing, even when Newt wasn’t around, but when things were really bad, my brain didn’t try to mince words, even the curses.
And things were pretty fucking bad.
I was sitting sideways in the driver’s seat of my car with my feet flat on the ground, staring at the expansive property laid out before me. I could see dozens and dozens of enclosures, but none were close enough for me to make out what was in them, despite the snow having stopped a couple of hours earlier.
I’d been ecstatic to wake up this morning to only a few flurries here and there, but my hopes for making a speedy escape before Nolan and Dallas could get up had died a quick death when I’d rushed out to the car to get it started so it would be nice and warm by the time I got Newt dressed and our few belongings packed up. But as soon as I’d turned the key over, the car had sputtered several times, but never actually started.
I’d tried over and over, feeling my stomach sink with every desperate turn of the key, but it had been the same thing each time. When I’d returned to the house, Dallas had offered to take a look at the car. I’d still held out hope he could work some magic, even if it was with something as simple as duct tape and a toothpick, anything to get us to the next big city… but when I’d come downstairs, he’d merely shook his head and typed out a message that he’d need to take a more in-depth look at it. His comment had been followed by an invitation for me and Newt to stay with him and Nolan as long as we needed to until he could get the car fixed.
Newt had been ecstatic and had begged to see all the animals and ride the elephants. I’d barely managed to thank the man and accept his generous offer, because inside I’d wanted to die.
It was just par for the course, I supposed.
Nothing had gone right since we’d left San Francisco.
Although, if I was being honest, things hadn’t exactly been going right before then, either.
Long before then.
I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair, then began mentally counting up how much money I had left. There was no way I’d have enough to pay to fix the car. I pulled out my phone and pulled up the local online ads using one of the bigger-name general classified ads sites that included a section for guys looking for “dates.” I felt a mix of relief and dread when I saw that although most of the ads were looking for guys closer to one of the larger cities, a handful mentioned towns I’d seen on our way to Pelican Bay. Which meant I could post my own ad offering my “services” and hopefully find someone local. If I was really lucky, I could find a place nearby that I could walk to, since I wasn’t willing to get into a car with a date.
But what to do with Newt?
I glanced at the farmhouse behind me.
Nolan and Dallas had been incredibly generous to let me and Newt spend the night with them, especially after what I’d done to Nolan. And fuck if it hadn’t been incredible to sleep in a real bed rather than a sleeping bag. But could I really push my luck by asking them to babysit Newt for me for a few hours?
Did I even want to?
They seemed kind and good with kids–hell, I’d even walked in on them playing cars with Newt this morning. But what if they questioned Newt while I was gone? And as much as Newt knew we couldn’t trust strangers, his natural inclination was to find the good in people, and he’d warmed up to Dallas and Nolan pretty quickly. It wouldn’t take much for them to get him to tell them things they didn’t need to know.
But what choice did I have?
I needed money.
Period.
My belly rolled uncomfortably as I pulled up the map on my phone and searched out a motel that was within walking distance but wasn’t too skeevy. Once I found one, I quickly typed out an ad and included a picture of myself. I submitted it before I could change my mind. Part of me hoped nothing would come of it, but the other part of me was afraid what would happen if nothing did.
“Isaac, I got to see a bear!” I heard Newt shout, and I looked up to see him hurrying toward me. Dallas and Nolan were walking behind him, hand in hand. I felt a pang of envy go through me. Not only because of how they were clinging to each other, but the way they were smiling at Newt.
Like he was their kid or something.
Tears stung the backs of my eyes as I imagined Newt in a world like this. Where he’d have no worries and he’d have people who could give him not only what he needed, but what he wanted too. But instead, he was being dragged all over the country by someone who couldn’t guarantee him anything and had to sell his own ass just to give him the basics.
You had no choice.
I wanted to scoff at the inner voice. I’d had a choice. I’d just been a selfish dick who’d believed Newt was better off with me than anyone else.
I glanced at the shit in the back seat.
“Better off, right,” I whispered.
“Isaac, he was bigger than Kenai!” Newt shouted as he came barreling at me. I smiled at the reference to Brother Bear, one of Newt’s favorite movies after the Cars ones.
“Oh yeah?” I said as I caught him in my arms when he reached me. I gave him a good squish and said, “Do you think he’s really a boy like Kenai was?”
“Nuh-uh,” Newt said with a shake of his head. “He’s a real bear. Dallas said so.”
Newt suddenly leaned in and whispered, “Dallas can’t talk but Nolan knows what he’s trying to say. But you gotta look at Dallas, even if Nolan’s talking, ’cause it’s ’olite.”
“Polite,” I said with a smile. “I’ll remember.” I was so proud of my brother and the compassion he inherently showed others. As much as I tried to make sure he knew his manners, his goodness came from deep inside him. On the one hand, it sometimes made him more sensitive to things, which could work against him, but I wouldn’t have changed it. It was a quality he shared with our mother, and while I’d watched people take advantage of her over the years, I’d vowed I’d never let anyone do that to Newt, no matter what. If I had my way, he’d never have some asshole telling him he needed to toughen up or take things like a man.
“Isaac,” Newt said as he grabbed each side of my face, a move he only did when he was deeply serious.
Well, as deeply serious as any four-year-old could be.
“I gotta save Loki, ’kay?” he said.
“I understand, Newt, but there’s nothing we—”
“Nu-huh, there is,” he interrupted. “We’s gotta talk to the people tonight.”
“We have to talk,” I amended. “What people?”
“I’m sorry, Isaac, it seems Newt overheard me and Dallas talking about the hearing in town tonight. The one where we’re going to try to get Loki back,” Nolan explained. “But you guys don’t need to go,” he quickly added. “You’re welcome to stay here at the house.”
The reminder that we were stuck here just made my stomach hurt even more, but I jumped on the offer and said, “If you’re sure.”
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to help these men get their pet back, it was that I couldn’t. We’d already had a close call by coming into such close contact with the sheriff yesterday. It’d been one of the first times since we’d left Boston that we’d interacted with any kind of law enforcement agent, and instead of just pretending like we had every right to be in Pelican Bay, Newt and I had both panicked and called even more attention to ourselves. I could only hope that Nolan and Dallas had assumed it was because of my role in taking his violin.
“No!” Newt said as he began shaking his head.
“Newt—” I said, sensing the mother of all temper tantrums kicking in, but he surprised me by keeping his voice low and surprisingly calm.
“I gotta help Loki, Isaac. They took him away from his family,” he said softly. It was the words he didn’t speak that made my heart hurt.
&nbs
p; On the one hand, I didn’t want to go anywhere near town, and especially into a situation where we’d stick out like the sore thumbs we were, but on the other, Newt didn’t often ask me for much.
“I gotta tell the mean people what a nice dog Loki is. They’ll believe me, Isaac, ’cause it’s the truth. And we always gotta tell the truth.”
I wanted to laugh at that because it was a lesson I was always reinforcing with Newt, despite the fact that our whole lives were pretty much one big lie. I studied my little brother for a long time. As the person who’d pretty much raised him from birth, it was both humbling and overwhelming to see him becoming this actual little person with emotions and beliefs. And despite all he’d been through, he still had such a good heart, and in spite of everything, his trust in others wasn’t completely destroyed yet…
I shook my head because I couldn’t trifle with that. It would change him into someone he was never meant to be.
Newt must have mistaken my shaking head as my answer because he suddenly looked crestfallen, so I quickly said, “You know what, Newt, you are absolutely right.”
He paused for a moment, then a big smile split his lips. “I am?”
I tickled his stomach. “You absolutely are. I’m so proud of you for being brave enough to tell the truth about Loki.”
As trusting as my brother instinctively was of people, he’d had to learn in the past year that he needed to go against his nature and not trust every person he met. So for him to be willing to get up in front of a room full of strangers would be easy for him in some ways but frightening in others. I needed to make sure we were cautious, but that he could also have this moment to let a little of himself shine through.
I looked up at Nolan and Dallas as I pulled Newt into my arms for a quick squeeze. “We’d love to come with you, if you don’t mind giving us a ride.”
“Of course,” Nolan said. Dallas typed something on his phone and handed it to me.
You guys are welcome to stay with us as long as you like, Isaac.
Sanctuary Found_Pelican Bay [Book 2] Page 4
