No Escape

by Heather Lowell

  “I’m sorry about Detective Flynn. I know how much he meant to you.”

  “Thank you,” Tessa mumbled in surprise, and took another bite of the granola bar.

  “I didn’t realize how dangerous this case might become. I don’t think anyone did,” Paul said, holding a hand up to stop her when she would have defended herself against some imagined criticism.

  “We won’t underestimate the players again,” Luke said.

  “I want you to come back to Buenos Aires with me,” Paul said abruptly to Tessa. “Come on the cruise to Antarctica. Let Luke and his company follow up on the investigation and leave tracking Ed Flynn’s killer to his fellow cops.”

  “I appreciate the offer,” Tessa said. “But I can’t run away from this, no matter how tempting it might be to consider. I owe it to a lot of people to see this case through to trial.”

  “Your friend and mentor was killed trying to do just that. Doesn’t this tell you how serious the people you’re investigating are about not being caught?” Paul asked.

  “Yes. And it only emphasizes the need to stop them. I couldn’t live with myself if I let someone else do my job in this situation.”

  “You’re too personally involved to be objective—” Paul began angrily.

  “You’re right, it is personal. And because of that, I’m going to be like a dog with a freaking bone. I’m not going to let go until these guys are in prison, preferably on death row.”

  “You’re going to work in your condition?” her father asked, pointing to the cast on her arm.

  Luke jumped in to defuse the simmering tension. “You never know when a cast will come in handy—that thing’s heavy, believe me. She could use it as a weapon if she had to. Besides, her wrist is the only thing that’s broken. Her brain works just fine.”

  Paul checked his watch and got to his feet. “Dammit, I don’t have time to argue. If I don’t catch the noon flight, I’ll miss the boat in Argentina. I haven’t made other arrangements to look out for Kevin and Lana.”

  “So go. I want you to. These people made a threat against Kevin. However improbable it is, you should be there with him to make sure nothing happens,” Tessa said with a sigh.

  A throbbing pain in her head began to rival the one in her broken wrist, and she could have sworn that each of the shallow abrasions on her face and arms was suddenly a gaping wound. Something about arguing with her father took the energy and will right out of her.

  Paul watched her shut down. Jet lag and worry got the better of him, finally causing him to lose his temper with his daughter’s stubbornness. “Why can’t you be reasonable? Are you trying to punish me?”

  “I’ll be perfectly safe,” she insisted, ignoring the bait. “That’s what you’re paying Luke for, remember?”

  “Yeah, well from where I’m standing it looks like he’s doing a piss-poor job,” Paul said coldly.

  Tessa jumped out of bed with a gasp of outrage. “How dare you? Luke’s taken better care of me than anyone I’ve known. Anyone. So go back to your family, Paul. You’ve got no right to play the heavy-handed parent at this point in my life.”

  “You don’t have to defend me, Swiss.” Luke got up and put a hand on her shoulder to restrain her, but she shook him off.

  She was too angry to care about the pain that movement cause, and instead focused on her father. “Why do you look so shocked? You weren’t there when I needed you as a child, so don’t act surprised if I don’t need you at all anymore.”

  “Are you saying that Luke is going to be there for you in the future?” Paul asked calmly, not revealing the pain he felt at her statements. “After all, you haven’t known him long. You’re willing to let him come between you and your family?”

  Tessa lost whatever fragile hold she’d had on her tongue. “How well did you know Lana before you married her and banished your only child to a boarding school in another state?”

  Luke winced at Tessa’s direct hit. He knew she had no idea how deeply that accusation would wound Paul, or she wouldn’t have said it.

  She wasn’t a cruel person, but her heart was breaking over Ed. She was ready to lash out at the first person who asked for it, and Paul had provoked her to the point that he became a target.

  “How long have you been waiting to throw that in my face, Tessa? Did it feel good to get it off your chest?” Paul asked wearily.

  “Don’t turn this around on me—” Tessa began.

  “Fine. I did a terrible thing when I married a woman I had fallen in love with at a time when I was afraid I’d be spending the rest of my life alone.” Paul held up his hands in mock surrender.

  “That wasn’t what I was talking about. I’m not such a bitch that I would begrudge you happiness. I just don’t think it should have come at the expense of mine.” Her stormy blue-gray gaze met Paul’s directly.

  “So I was a bad father. Sue me, Counselor. But Lana is a good woman. However badly things began between you two, as my wife she deserves your respect. You have no right to hate her for something I did twenty-five years ago.”

  “How about I hate you instead?” Tessa spoke in a half whisper, faintly shocked at the depths of her own emotions. But she was helpless to stop the words from coming out—it was as if a dam had broken, and she couldn’t hold back the flow.

  Luke held his breath, wondering if he should step between them and stop the conflict. But he knew that the only way to get over the pain of the past was to deal with it and move on. Paul and Tessa had probably never openly discussed their estrangement before, and hopefully this could be a way to begin healing the breach.

  If they didn’t rip each other to shreds with their words first.

  Paul had his eyes closed as he tried to focus on why he was there in the first place. However, the prospect of finally having things out with his distant, elusive daughter was too tempting to give up. He knew she was hurting—both emotionally and physically—and it was wrong of him to add to her burden.

  But this was the first honest emotion she’d shown toward him in decades, and he wasn’t going to back off now.

  “Listen to me, Tessa. What I did to you was wrong. I didn’t realize it then, though, because I’d just lost your mother and was hurting so badly. I was just a shell of a man, and I let you down so completely that sometimes I still have trouble looking at myself in the mirror.”

  Tessa took a half step backward, running into Luke’s solid warmth. She’d never actually heard her father admit that he’d done anything wrong. Instead, he’d always gotten defensive and protective of Lana, which had served to drive Tessa even further away.

  Paul sat down again, the energy his anger had given him completely gone. In its place was a weary resolve, and the knowledge that if he didn’t make some effort to fix things he was going to go to his grave without his daughter ever forgiving him.

  “Why the surprise?” Paul asked, correctly interpreting Tessa’s silence. “I know what I did was unforgivable. It was wrong to send you away, and even more wrong to let you step in and do my job with Kevin once he was born. I only hurt you worse when I realized what I had given up and tried to be a father to both of you again. I wasn’t prepared for the possibility that you two might not need me, so I panicked and forced the issue.”

  “You were trying to do what was right for Kevin,” Tessa said hesitantly. She’d never seen her father look so old and tired. Every one of his six-plus decades was etched on his face.

  “Believe it or not, I was thinking of you. I wanted you to get out and meet people, to have a normal college life, maybe find a husband. Not be tied to your five-year-old brother because Lana and I were too wrapped up in our jobs to be real parents.”

  “I don’t know what to say to that,” Tessa admitted. She felt Luke’s hand settle on her shoulder again, this time offering comfort.

  “Why don’t you say you’ll give me another chance?” Paul asked wistfully. “I’ve wanted to make it up to you for a long time. But you’ve been so angry. I’d hoped
you would get past it, once you moved out to LA, and we could start interacting as adults. But it hasn’t happened, and neither one of us is getting any younger.”

  “I had no idea.”

  “Because you haven’t wanted to see it. The ability to be willfully blind to the truth is something you no doubt get from me,” Paul said.

  Tessa’s chin shot up in an automatic rejection of being like her father in any way. He recognized the gesture and shook his head.

  “Isn’t it time to stop looking behind us? I want to look forward to something for once, instead of focusing on the past. I know I set you aside as a child, and if I could take it back, I would. But you have my love and attention now. It’s all I can do. Is it enough?” Paul asked.

  “I don’t know.” She looked away from his intense blue gaze. It was so tempting to get sucked in by his sincerity. She’d never seen him so earnest or open before. But the wounded child inside her remembered too well the pain of being pushed from the center of her father’s life.

  Paul cursed.

  “I’m sorry,” Tessa cried out. “I had no idea you felt this way. I need some time to think about it—I can’t just let go of everything that I’ve known for the last twenty-five years.” She felt bad about the obvious pain her words caused, but her sense of self-preservation was strong after repeated disappointments from her father.

  “Don’t be sorry,” Paul said as he got to his feet. “I should have known it wouldn’t be that simple to bury the past. You’re too damned stubborn to let me off easy.”

  “That’s not it. Don’t make it sound like some kind of petty game I’m playing.”

  “You’re right. It’s not a game,” Paul reached a side pocket of the jacket he’d thrown down earlier. “Forget about us for a minute. I know we can’t solve a lifetime of problems in the time I have before my flight. The best I can do is help keep you around long enough so that we can have it out later.”

  “I’ll take care of her,” Luke said.

  “You can try,” Paul agreed. “But I figured my daughter would be too pigheaded to listen to reason. So I’ve called in a few favors. You’re going to be the guests of honor at the next meeting of the multiagency task force investigating Club Red Inc.”

  “But that meeting isn’t scheduled for another month,” Tessa said.

  “Wrong. I talked to the head of the FBI’s West Coast operations, and in light of recent events he’s agreed to convene a meeting on Wednesday. It will take that long to give the out-of-town people sufficient notice and travel time. And it will also give you and Luke a chance to come up with some concrete evidence.”

  “What do you think we’ve been trying to do?” Tessa asked from between clenched teeth.

  “Try harder. I can get you into the meeting, but from there you’re on your own. Either you bring something good to the table on Wednesday, or the investigation will move on around you. You won’t get another chance.”

  “No pressure there,” Luke muttered under his breath.

  “She can do it, Novak. If you didn’t believe that, I don’t think you’d be standing behind her.”

  “Hell, I know she can. I’m just concerned about putting more pressure on her when she’s in pain and grieving for a lost friend.”

  “Are you saying you believe in me?” Tessa asked her father. “You trust me to get the job done?”

  “Of course I do. I always have, I just don’t know how to express it when you get all prickly and distant with me,” Paul said. He continued speaking over her protest at his choice of words. “If there’s someone out there who needs help, I can’t think of a better person to come to the rescue than you, Tessa. But you’ve got a tender heart and trusting nature, which is why I’ll feel better if you have a renegade like Luke Novak along.”

  “I don’t know what to say,” Tessa murmured.

  “Well, that’s three times I’ve had you speechless today—and all before noon. Things might just be looking up for us, my girl. Unfortunately, I have to leave now.”

  “Go take care of them. Send Kevin my love. And—and give Lana my best,” Tessa said, glad she barely stumbled over the words.

  “We’re all very proud of you.” Paul said. He cleared his throat and picked up his coat. “I’ll see myself out. You can reach us on my satellite phone.”

  In the silence that followed, Tessa stared at the floor and wondered how she had come to this point in such a short space of time. A month ago her life had been quiet, orderly, and slightly boring. Now she wasn’t sure how much more excitement she could survive.

  “Well, that’s it,” she said. “My life is officially out of control.”

  “Look at the bright side.” Luke lightly massaged her tense shoulders as he spoke. “I’m guessing that your wrist doesn’t hurt right now.”

  “What wrist?”

  “I thought so. Let’s get dressed and take a walk on the beach before it gets too crowded, okay?”

  “Fine.”

  Chapter 35

  Santa Monica, California

  Sunday afternoon, March 14

  “Who were you talking to?” Tessa asked as she looked out over the line of waves coming toward her. Luke had just caught up with her on the beach, having paused to answer his cell phone a moment earlier.

  “Chantal Francoeur, forensic accountant and money laundering expert extraordinaire. She said the documents from the task force had arrived, and she was going to review them tonight. Hopefully she’ll be ready when we meet her tomorrow morning, but only if you’re feeling up to it.”

  “I’ll have to be. We don’t have much time.” Tessa sighed.

  “We have as much time as you need. If you’re hurting, you won’t be in any shape to provide the information that Chantal is going to need.”

  “My wrist is fine, I barely think about it.” Her heart was hurting much more. Watching the surfers catch waves into shore had made her think painfully of Ed and his morning surfing ritual.

  Luke slipped a casual arm around her shoulder and used it to nudge her into walking along the beach again. “I’m sure it wasn’t easy to have the discussion this morning with your father, but I’m glad you did. He loves you, and I know you feel the same way. You two have just forgotten how to express that to each other.”

  “I know he told you what happened in our family—his side of it, anyway.”

  “Actually, he was pretty harsh on himself when he told me. It’s been eating him up inside for years. You, too.”

  “I guess I didn’t realize how much until recently,” Tessa admitted. “It’s been such a part of my life, I didn’t see how it was affecting my relationships with others. Like Lana. And probably other men in my life, to be honest.”

  “You’re always honest, Swiss.”

  “So is it wrong of me to say that I thought less of my father for falling in love with Lana less than a month after my mother drowned? I mean, he was supposed to love Mom forever, right? I felt betrayed, and I’m sure she would have, too. That’s not something you forget, no matter how much time has passed or how sincere the apology.”

  Luke had known that Tessa had issues revolving around trust and commitment. He just hadn’t realized how deeply rooted the pain was in her whole family dynamic. To be honest, with his happy childhood and loving parents, he was out of his league.

  So he tried with Tessa what had always been an important aspect of his family relations—unconditional support and acceptance.

  “If that’s the way you feel, it’s not wrong, baby. You just need to figure out a way to get past that and salvage the relationship with your father and the rest of your family—because they’re the only one you’ve got. Try putting yourself in his position. I can’t imagine what it would be like to lose my wife and be left alone to deal with my young child. Some men would react better than others. Some people out there always need to have a partner in their lives—it’s just the way they are. Maybe your father is one of them.”

  “It wasn’t just the way he got o
ver my mom. It’s like he walked away from his entire life, me included. I needed him so badly, and he wasn’t there—he never was.” Tessa broke off and looked at the water again. “I was about thirteen years old when I realized I was on my own. I swore to myself I would never need anyone again, and I haven’t. How sad is that?”

  “What about Kevin?” Luke asked. She smiled, a faint and sweet curve of her lips that made his insides flutter.

  “He was so young and needy himself. He kind of snuck into my heart,” Tessa said.

  Good going, Kev. I think there’s a lesson there.

  Luke was silent for a moment. He thought about bringing up Ed and how Tessa had relied on him as a friend, but knew she wasn’t talking about that kind of need. She was talking about not letting herself need a man to be happy or make her life complete.

  The more time Luke spent with her, the more he wanted to be that man. The only problem was letting her know in a way that didn’t scare her off forever.

  “Besides,” Tessa continued, “Kevin would never abandon me, no matter what. Other people in my life have not proven to be so steadfast.”

  “I realize you don’t know me well enough to believe this, but I will never disappear from your life. I want you to trust me; I just wish I knew how to prove it.”

  “I wasn’t talking about you,” she said in a low voice, but she continued to walk down the beach and wouldn’t meet his gaze.

  “Stop for a second.” Luke turned her to face him. He was about to tell her that he wanted to be a part of her life, long-term, when he saw the absolute panic in her eyes. He realized that a confession like that could end up pushing her away from him with very little effort. He would have to take it slowly.

  “It’s okay, Luke—” Tessa interrupted.

  “No, listen.” He spoke firmly, choosing his words carefully. “You have to know that I care about you very much, and respect you as both a prosecutor and a woman. I would do anything to keep you from getting hurt. And like Kevin, I would never abandon you. For once in your life, you don’t have to go it alone. I’m in this with you until it’s done, all right? We’re partners.”