Wicked Flower

by Carlene Love Flores

  Poor girl. All eyes were on her and he knew right away she’d never make it up on stage. You had to be able to turn that shit off and Dani clearly was wired to fidget in situations like this. What was she doing, anyway?

  It hurt Stefan to watch her squirm like that. “Will, here.” Stefan tossed him his old wallet. “Pick something out for Tris? I need to talk to Mom for a second.” He looked to Dani and tried to reassure her that he’d do his best not to blow her cover. Nothing about her being pregnant or the fact she was messing around with him. Clearly Dani still wasn’t ready for his mom to know.

  Dani stepped closer to him but he brushed her off and mouthed, “Don’t worry.”

  He waited while Dani and Will wandered inside the gift shop, out of ear shot.

  What did he say? Where did he start? He had such little practice communicating with her lately. “Mom, I’m glad you’re feeling better. I was worried the past couple of days.”

  She reached over and patted his arm. He guessed maybe she had the same problem with him. That was his fault too, he knew it. Something inside him needed that to change. To be better. He loved his mother so much. Had missed her, no matter what had happened in their past. He needed not just to hear her tell him she was proud and loved him. He craved the feeling of those things. But then she spoke up. “Dani takes good care of me, son. You don’t need to worry.”

  He could sense there was more, something else she wasn’t saying. Maybe because of the way she held her chin up but let her eyes blink closed more than usual. He didn’t know what to say so he let a truth slip. “She has impressed me. I trust her to take good care of you. I’m glad you have her, Mom.”

  “Me too. Son,” his mom breathed in and out. “There is something I need to know.” She paused and he stayed silent, stealing a glance toward the gift shop where Dani watched him like a hawk.

  Back to his mom.

  He felt like that sixteen year old again and this was the same conversation they’d had the day Amanda’s mother had called and told Mom what he’d done. Seeing Amanda’s older sister a few booths over during breakfast—one of those who hadn’t changed in twenty years, not even her hair do—apparently married now and with kids, had given him instant anxiety.

  At sixteen, Stefan hadn’t known how to answer for himself, except to beg his mom to believe him when he promised he would take care of the baby. That he’d never told Amanda he wouldn’t. She must have gotten scared and made it up. That’s when Mom had told him what Amanda’s mother had said. That there would be no baby. That Mom should be ashamed of her son for getting a fourteen year old girl pregnant and then causing her so much stress that she’d miscarried. Stefan’s eyes felt raw but he was incapable of moving a finger right now. Mom’s silence was hanging over him and whatever question she had kept him still. He didn’t so much as blink.

  “Can you tell me why Sherri from the Women’s Clinic called for Dani yesterday?”

  Oh shit, he hadn’t planned on her throwing that out there. He couldn’t tell her. That was Dani’s decision to make. Even if he could talk about that, the thought of shaming his mom again crippled his brain. Even if it had nothing to do with him, he knew she’d most likely be disappointed in Dani.

  His mom kept on. “You wouldn’t remember this, but Sherri has been an obstetrical nurse at that clinic for going on forty years now. She’s one of the very best Moonlight has ever seen. Sandra said she’d never have gotten through Dani’s birth had it not been for Sherri’s expertise. I saw her after Sandra passed and she still had that calming air about her. Her voice is so striking, so deep for a woman, but I suppose that’s part of the soothing she brings to her patients. Which is why if Dani is being seen by her, she’s in good hands.” His mom’s thin lips drew out in an air tight line and she patted her blouse with small but stern hands Stefan remembered from his youth. His mom had never spanked him. She hadn’t needed to. Something about disappointing her had always been enough for him. It was the main reason he’d left home. To avoid shaming her again at all cost.

  Stefan wished he could shoot back something clever like the fact that he was sure women went to clinics like that for all kinds of female issues, not just pregnancy. But his mom wasn’t an idiot. No, she knew what was up.

  And, he wasn’t about to lie.

  If he lied right now, that would prove all the horrible things he’d felt from neighbors, the Coopers, teachers, his own parents, were true. He was here to be different. Spending time with Mom and Dani had convinced him that he did want to be better, too. More importantly, it was possible.

  Without a clue as to where to start, his only thought took him back to the very beginning. “Mom, I ran into Dani before I got to your house the first day of my visit. At the time I had no idea who she was but—“

  He felt a soft hand lace with his fingers.

  “I needed his help, Gina,” said Dani, squeezing his hand. “I had a really bad day and we just happened to run into each other getting gas, right when I needed a friend.” Dani looked up at him and he felt them fall down some invisible deep pit together. No, this wasn’t part of his plan. He was supposed to tell his mom he wanted to take her to Nashville and that Dani supported the move because she was getting her ass back in school to finish her degree. And he was doing the right thing by leaving her alone to do that.

  “Actually Mom, no need to rehash all that. All I need to know is if you’re willing to move to Nashville with me? Since Dani intends on—”

  Dani shot out, “No, what I have to say is important. I should have told you but things are complicated and I have had so much on my mind lately.”

  Mom looked at him and Dani like she was stuck between who she needed to address first.

  Stefan felt the need to save Dani from going any further. She’d said plenty and had to know how much it meant to him. She didn’t need to throw herself into the fire just to make things easier for him with his mom. And she wasn’t wiggling out of what she’d promised him. “Mom, I’m the one who should have said something. It’s my fault,” he said, trying to win back the conversation from his little heart thief pain in the ass.

  His mom stopped him. “Kids, I think I know what’s going on. Son, Dani has a boyfriend. Okay, I know that. He is a soldier who is deployed right now. He’s a good man. Thomas treats her well. Dani, you need and deserve that. With all you do for me, dear. And in turn, all she does for you, son.” Mom’s brow worried itself into a crinkle as she gave them her take on things. Her hand patted his forearm and then left him to squeeze Dani’s fingers like Mom was asking him to fade away and hoped he hadn’t already messed things up.

  What could he say? He heard the warning in her voice and felt it in her hand. That Stefan should honor what Dani and the soldier had. But Mom didn’t know the truth and it wasn’t his place to share what had happened. Stefan was going to come off as a selfish prick, no matter what he said. He kept it short and simple. “I know, Mom.” Not at all what they were supposed to be talking about, this detour had his head pounding.

  What else was there to say? Stefan let out a breath and cleared his throat at the same time.

  Apparently, there was more to say. He just never expected Dani to step up the way she did.

  “Mrs. C … Gina, Thomas and I aren’t together anymore.” Dani’s eyelashes fell and flashed back open. Stefan wanted to tell her she didn’t have to do this. “He emailed to let me know he fell in love with someone else. Stefan isn’t ruining anything for me. He’s been the one person I’ve felt comfortable talking to about this. I don’t know what I would have done without him.”

  Stefan barely had time to soak that all in because Mom’s hands unclasped and she covered her eyes with one. To anyone else, it would look like she was shading herself from the sun but Stefan knew better. She probably couldn’t stand the sight of him right now.

  “Dani,” Mom paused. “Is there anything else you need to tell me?”

  That look would drag anyone’s most well-kept secret out into the l
ight. Stefan had joked about mom vision with his friends and their kids but this was no laughing matter.

  Dani started clenching her fingers and Stefan took her closest hand into his. Mom saw it and breathed in so deep that the flowers of her silk blouse moved up and down like there was a machine under there pumping might through her small, thin frame. “I’m pregnant,” said Dani.

  “Son, what have you done?”

  Holy fuck. His mom thought he was the reason for Dani’s visit to the clinic. The funny thing about that, aside from it being impossible? He wished he was.

  Dani started to explain but Stefan stopped her.

  “No, Mom’s right.”

  So much hurt welled up inside him that he didn’t know what to do with it. Rage told him he was a pussy if he didn’t stay there and fight for who he was, the real him, the one who cared about his mom, even though she’d just torn him down to nothing and hadn’t even addressed him asking her to move to Nashville. Reality told him it wouldn’t matter. That fucking emotion he hated to even admit he’d let drive him this week reminded him that he had to think of Dani and what was best for her.

  “Dani, please go back inside with Will. Mom and I aren’t done talking.”

  He could tell she didn’t want to, but Dani complied as he knew she would.

  “Mom, just so we’re clear, I did not get Dani pregnant.”

  “I know that, son.”

  “Then why did you ask what I’d done?”

  Mom took a moment to search his face. He couldn’t tell, but was sure he saw some of that old pain come to the surface again. “Stefan, I can see you like Dani, and she clearly feels the same. But she just said so herself. She’s having a child with Thomas.”

  “Thom, who dumped her in an email,” he said curtly.

  “I understand, son. But what do you think Thomas will do when she tells him? I assume she hasn’t done that yet. I could be wrong I suppose.”

  “You are wrong, mom. Dani told him.”

  “He’s a good man, Stefan. He’ll do the right thing.”

  “The right thing? What is that, Mom?”

  “I love Dani like a daughter. And you, you are my son, Stefan. My one and only child. Listen to me, please. I only say these things because I want to protect both you and Dani. I don’t want either of your hearts to be broken.”

  His mom, better than anyone, knew what that felt like. But she didn’t know everything Stefan’s heart bled with when it came to Dani and how he wasn’t even here to win Dani. In fact it was the opposite. He was trying to let her go. Like that stupid saying people in love always said about letting shit go so it could come back to you if it was meant to be. Fuck all those people. He breathed in to calm his ass down.

  “What exactly are you saying, Mom?”

  “Promise me you won’t interfere until Dani has a chance to speak with Thomas in person. Let them settle whatever needs to be figured out when he comes home. Don’t you see? If you don’t allow them to do that, you risk leaving Dani and Thomas with too many uncertainties. Things she’ll always wonder about between them. I say this because I love you, Stefan. I pray you never know that kind of heartache.”

  Stefan wiped at his mouth and cleared his throat, swallowed down a couple tears too. “I just want to take care of you both, Mom.”

  “I understand. You have to trust me on this. Give her the space and time she needs to come to terms with it all. Promise me, son.”

  “I shouldn’t have come back. I promise, I won’t be a problem.”

  “Stefan,” Mom began. “About going to Nashville with you.”

  But with that, he waved Will over who stood outside of the gift shop with a plastic souvenir bag and Dani. Stefan needed out of there. Thank God Will was with him.

  “It’s okay, Mom. I’m a big boy. No need to say it.” He left his mom’s side after giving her a goodbye kiss on the cheek, effectively cutting off the part where she again told him no thanks.

  “Hey, I’ll ride home with them. Go cool off,” said Will.

  Stefan just nodded at his friend. He didn’t let himself look at Dani.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  A little while later, Stefan pulled into his driveway. It had been years since he’d last been to this house. It used to make him smile, knowing he’d bought it for his mom. Even though she hadn’t wanted it, he still felt good that it was here if she ever needed it.

  The vision he’d had of ever walking inside, hand in hand with Dani, kicked his foolish ass good and hard.

  He was standing at the front door, fishing for the key, when his phone rang. It was Trista. Stefan nearly let it go to voicemail but he couldn’t do that to her. They didn’t do that to each other. Too much bad scary shit they’d saved each other from over the years meant answering even when you felt like crap. He wouldn’t let her worry and took her call.

  “Hey Tris, can I call you back?”

  “Sure. Five minutes?”

  No, he’d meant like in a week or so but she wouldn’t let him off so easily. He knew why. He’d mentioned needing her help in the message he’d left her and probably sounded like a whipped little desperate pussy when he’d done it. She wouldn’t let that go.

  Stefan cradled the cell between his ear and shoulder and finally finagled the door open.

  “Five works. Bye, babe,” he said and closed the door behind him, trying his best to sound like himself.

  Inside, he hovered in the foyer, thinking long and hard.

  He’d have to be dumb not to know Dani would try to contact him. Should he talk to Dani about what his mom had said, now that he could replay the conversation without the need to pound something? Try and convince her to give things with her baby’s father a chance? Maybe this guy would have a change of heart when he came back and saw her swollen belly with his child inside. How different would Stefan’s life had been if he’d had that chance with Amanda?

  That shit pissed him off so bad.

  He didn’t need to call Tris back. His phone rang and it was her. He flipped on a light switch, glad to see property management had done its well-paid job of keeping the power on and accepted the call, even though Tris had jumped the gun and called early. He’d have done the same thing for her.

  “Hey baby, what’s wrong,” Tris asked right from the jump. She knew him so well. “You said you needed help. I’m all ears.” A baby, most likely her little Eddie, jabbered in the background. Trista cooed at him sweetly.

  “It’s not important, I can call back later,” Stefan offered. Did he really need Tris to tell him it was safe to have sex with a pregnant lady? Dani had made it to her checkup this morning and with the way she’d been sneaking looks at him during their pancakes, his guess was that she’d asked the doc and been answered. Of course none of that mattered now.

  “No, come on now. You know I’ll get it out of you.”

  She was right. But things just didn’t seem meant to be with him and Dani. Going in to all that over the phone with Tris made him want to scratch out his eyes. He could just pretend, maybe that would be easier. “I met someone,” he said, amazed he’d admitted that out loud. “Tris? You there?”

  “Sweetie! That’s wonderful, sorry I just, was a little surprised is all. So tell me about this someone.” Trista used soft words to calm her baby after that burst of excitement she’d had for him. He could see her with the cute little pill bouncing on her hip, even in his rotten mood. Dani would be a good mom like Tris.

  Where did he start? Admitting all this would hurt later when he had to tell Tris there would be no one coming back with his sorry ass. “Her name is Dani. Not that it matters now,” he muttered and wiped his hand over his hair. He scratched at the stubble already growing back. That shit was coming off when he got off the phone.

  “And when and where did you meet?”

  Obviously she hadn’t heard all of what he’d said. She cooed more for Eddie. He wanted to smile but didn’t have it in him.

  Trista didn’t need to hear his pity party. Wha
t good would it do to bring her down? He’d keep up with the charade.

  “Stef?”

  Fuck, this was gonna hurt.

  “She’s an old family friend actually.” He thought of the thing he cherished most about Dani. “And she’s been taking care of my mom.”

  “Well, she must be pretty special for you to call just to tell me about her. You sure there’s nothing else. You said you needed help.”

  “Oh, you know me. I just wanted to call and hear your gorgeous voice.”

  “Yeah, nice try. Stefan. Listen to me. You’re a good man. I’ve always known that when you found the right girl she was gonna be very lucky and it was gonna knock you on your ass.” Tris giggled warmly. He missed her. She’d been like a loving sister to him. Never judged him not once. Kicked his ass plenty of times but out of love. “Is this the ‘I’ve been knocked on my ass, Tris, and I don’t know how to get back up’ call I’ve been waiting to get from you? Is that the help you need?”

  What could he say? That’s exactly what this was. He just hadn’t realized it in time. He’d been playing a game this whole time with Dani and now it was too late. He’d lost.

  “Lucky is a lucky man, Tris.”

  “He is,” she said. He could see her winking in his mind. “But that’s the thing. I’m just as lucky as him. Without each other, we’d have self-destructed. But had we met when I wasn’t ready, it never would have worked. You, of all people, know that’s true.”

  He took a moment to let the reasons behind her words sink in. Remembering that night when he and Lucky had found her and Jaxon beaten and left like trash in the street bubbled to the top of his heart. He hated remembering that shit but he also never wanted to forget it. You had to protect the ones you loved. It’s why he’d kept the number of people he loved to a minimum. All the time he spent away from home, it would kill him not to be there if he was needed. “I do. You’re so fucking smart, Tris.”

  “I love you too, Stef. So this Dani, is she someone I might get to meet anytime soon? Jaxon was telling Lucky and me at dinner last night that tour rehearsals are just about to get started week after next. He was joking—at least I think he was joking—that he hadn’t heard much from you and Will. That he was gonna have to go snatch you guys up and drag you back home. Have you asked your Dani to come to opening night? I’d love to meet her. I’m so glad the tour’s kicking off in Nashville.”