Once Upon a Wish-Mas

by Laura Barnard

  He takes his phone out of his pocket and scrolls through it. So long I actually wonder if he’s forgotten whether I’m here or not.

  ‘Fine,’ he eventually agrees. ‘Book it. One o’clock at Somerset House.’

  ‘Great,’ I smile, glad I’ve got my way. The girls will be ecstatic. I turn to walk away but have an idea. I spin back round.

  ‘You know, it would go a long way if you’d write a letter back to the girls accepting their invitation.’

  He doesn’t turn to acknowledge me, but I know he heard. Stubborn bastard that he is.

  ‘Oh, and don’t forget tomorrow night is the wine and cheese thing for the PTA,’ I quickly slip in before turning away.

  ‘What?’ I hear him yell after me.

  ‘Sweet dreams, goodnight, don’t let the bed bugs bite,’ I sing.

  ‘God, you can be annoying, Ruby.’

  Yeah, yeah, didn’t stop you kissing me though, did it.

  Barclay

  I know it’s ridiculous, but I actually do feel a little better for sharing with Ruby. I mean, I know she lives in club cuckoo land where every problem can be fixed with glitter, but it was still nice to offload. The sad thing is that I don’t actually have any friends these days.

  When Claire was alive, we had lots of couple friends, but I didn’t want to hang out with them once she’d passed. Don’t get me wrong, they offered lots of pity dates where I’d be the only single guy there. I wasn’t going to go and be gawked at and be given the sad little head tilt whenever anyone asks how I’m doing. No thank you.

  So that brings me to the present with not a soul I can really speak to. It’s easier with Ruby, even if she doesn’t understand. At least I know she’ll be on mine and the girl’s side. She strikes me as a good friend, someone who would fight for you, not have anyone talk about you behind your back. That kind of loyalty is rare these days, especially around here.

  But... the ice skating. She might as well have stabbed me in the stomach. When Claire was pregnant with Charlotte, she was so excited that Jessica was going to have a sibling. With me and her both being only children she was insistent on it. We always talked of having a completed family and us going on family days out together. She always loved Christmas and said one year, when the girls were old enough, we’d go to Somerset house and ice skate.

  It was one of the things she cried about towards the end. When I held her frail body in my arms and let her sob about the unfairness of it all. How she wouldn’t get to see our daughters grow up, watch them graduate, get married, have children of their own. I was thinking all the same things, but I had to be the strong one for both of us.

  Going without her somehow feels disloyal, like I’m betraying her. Living her dream when she can only watch on. But I also know that she’d tell me to do absolutely anything to keep those girls happy. If that means ice skating through my heart ache, that’s just what I’ll have to do.

  I grab a pen from the drawer and decide to take Ruby’s advice. A little letter might go a long way.

  Chapter 26

  Thursday 19th December

  Ruby

  The next morning I’m delighted to see there’s a letter addressed to the girls in the kitchen. I can’t actually believe he listened to me. He might be the most infuriating man on the planet, but with some guidance he can be less of a pig. I just hope my replacement, whoever they may be, are able to get through to him.

  ‘Look girls!’ I say with glee. ‘Daddy wrote you a letter!’

  Their mouths drop open and then we all dance round the kitchen, even grabbing Marge who’s cooking their porridge and forcing her to dance the conga. She complains, but I think she secretly loves it. I see that smile she’s trying to hide.

  ‘Let me read it,’ Lottie says, the first to exit the conga line.

  ‘No, Lottie,’ Jessica moans, ‘I’m the one that can read.’

  I hand the letter to Jessica, shrugging apologetically to Lottie.

  She clears her throat. ‘Dear Girls, thank you so much for your invitation to ice skating. I would love to join you. Ruby is going to book us in for Saturday. I have something in the morning, but I’ll meet you there at 1pm. Love Daddy.’

  She clutches it to her chest. ‘He’s coming! He’s really coming,’ she says, verging on tears.

  ‘Of course he is.’ I nod. ‘With awesome letters like that, how could he possibly refuse?’

  Lottie nods. ‘It was the glitter. Definitely the glitter.’

  Well tonight is the dreaded wine and cheese evening for the PTA. Barclay said he would be out this evening at an event so at least I don’t have him hovering around making me even more uneasy. Marge sorted me out by ordering some amazing cheeses and wine.

  I’ve styled them out on the table in the kitchen/diner and dressed myself in some smart jeans and a plain black top. A quick brush of the hair, some lip gloss and I’m presentable, drumming my fingers on the table as I anxiously await their arrival.

  It’s only two minutes past eight but I’m already wondering if this was all just some elaborate joke and they’re not going to turn up at all. I’m sick to my stomach. It reminds me of all the mean girls at school. That’s why I always stuck to my close friend Georgie. Only with me nannying and her moving to America with her new husband we lost touch.

  The doorbell rings. I gulp down the bile attempting to rise up my throat. You can do this, Ruby. You can chat shit to these women and actually try and pretend to be one of them. It’s just for the evening and you’re doing this for Jessica.

  I open the door to find all the women on the doorstep, obviously with Clementine in the middle holding a red bottle of wine. Did they all get a minibus here together? Weirdos.

  Clementine is the first to walk in, thrusting the bottle of wine into my chest. I almost stumble backwards from the force.

  ‘I brought this. Wasn’t sure whether you’d have any decent wine.’

  Oh, because a meagre Nanny like me has no idea of what wines are good. I mean, I don’t, but I resent the judgement.

  Coats are taken off and thrown at me. Juliette helps me to hang them all up. We walk into the kitchen to find they’ve all made themselves at home, helping themselves to the cheese and wine.

  ‘Lovely house you have here,’ Clementine says with a smug little smile, knowing full well it’s not mine.

  I roll my eyes. ‘Obviously it’s not mine, it’s Mr Rothchesters. But he’s kindly let us host this little evening tonight.’

  ‘Hmm, where is he?’ she asks between a mouthful of cheese. So, she does eat. With how skinny she is I did wonder.

  ‘Out tonight, working.’ I fake a sad smile.

  Her face drops, disappointment written all over it. Ah, so that’s definitely why she wanted it here. She wanted her grubby little hands on Barclay, even though she’s supposedly happily married. I doubt she is, especially with how she paled when I mentioned trying it on with him. No-one with that much bitchiness is getting laid regularly. A few orgasms would chill her the fuck out, surely?

  ‘So, are you going to give us a tour?’ one of the friendlier women asks, smiling hopefully.

  ‘No,’ I shake my head. ‘Like I said, it’s not my house. Plus, the girls are asleep.’

  Juliette smiles at me and mouths, ‘calm down.’ It’s nice knowing someone’s on my side.

  I have to endure an hour of them all talking over and around me, unless of course Clementine finds a way to put me down in some little way. Juliette tries to involve me, bless her, but they’re all just so different to me. The only thing I can join in with is talk of the parade tomorrow, but even then, Clementine reminds me the costumes are not finished. They’re basically done. Jessica was so excited it was hard getting her off to sleep.

  I’m just wishing away my life when I hear the front door close. That can’t be Barclay. He’s normally out all night at an event.

  ‘Ooh, is Barclay home?’ Clementine coos, practically running into the hallway. ‘Barclay, how the devil are you? Lon
g time!’ I hear her boom at him, the red wine making her louder than usual.

  I can almost imagine his cringe and discomfort from here. No one wants to come home to a Clementine in your face. I’m sure even her husband doesn’t.

  He walks into the kitchen, after saying a very formal, ‘Hello, Clementine.’

  ‘Sorry,’ I quickly apologise with a cringe. ‘I thought you’d be out all night.’

  He shrugs. ‘The event was well taken care of.’ He throws his keys down onto the kitchen island. ‘Plus, I’ll admit that I forgot this.’ He gestures at the room. ‘Was this evening.’

  I sink my head into my shoulders.

  ‘Sorry.’

  He gives me an amused smile and leans in to whisper, ‘Something tells me you’ve suffered enough punishment already.’

  Just the feel of his hot breath on my ear has my spine tingling. God, what I’d do to have that mouth somewhere else.

  I grin back, almost dizzy. ‘You’re right.’

  He says his most polite hellos to the ladies.

  ‘Maybe you should wait it out in the lounge. I’m hoping it won’t be too much longer until they leave,’ I suggest.

  I walk him out of the kitchen, but we both stop dead in our tracks when Clementine shouts ‘FREEZE!’

  Everyone turns to look at her.

  A devilish smile takes over her face. ‘You’re under the mistletoe,’ she says.

  We both actually look behind us, expecting two of the mums to be under it, ready for Clementine to force them to kiss. I wouldn’t put it past her.

  But no, she’s talking to us. We both glance upwards and low and behold, there hangs a tiny little bit of mistletoe. What the hell? I never put this here. And the girls couldn’t have reached, even with the help of a chair. Could Clementine have hung it here, especially for this excruciating moment?

  Barclay chuckles, but I know it’s an awkward one.

  ‘I don’t think it would be very professional, for me to kiss my employee,’ he explains with a polite smile.

  I nod frantically. So frantically I look like one of those nodding dogs. Chill the fuck out, Ruby. Way to look unbothered by it all. This is basically telling everyone I have a humungous crush on him. I can feel my cheeks burning. I hope it doesn’t show.

  I quickly duck out from it and decide to fill up everyone’s wine glasses. Not that they need it, they’re all already looking a bit worse for wear, lipsticks smudged, and eyeliners run. Barclay walks into the sitting room.

  ‘Ooh, bit of an awkward one for you there,’ Clementine says, looking like the cat who got the cream. ‘I might offer Barclay some wine.’ She grabs a bottle and a fresh glass and sashays away towards the lounge.

  Stay away from him, you skanky bitch, I want to scream. Why am I so jealous? Because he’s mine. No, he’s not, Ruby. Instead I just watch her, hoping to God Barclay tells her to fuck off.

  I wait for fifteen agonizing minutes for her to return. When she finally does, I just can’t read whether something happened. She’s always got that bitchy obnoxious smile on her face.

  Another hour later they all finally start saying their goodbyes and going home. Clementine is the last to leave. Of course she is. She doesn’t say thanks, just that she was impressed I actually stocked some decent wines, then laughed and said I must have had help.

  It annoys me that it’s true.

  I really don’t know why I let her bother me so much, but every time she speaks, I just want to crash something into her skull.

  I knock on the lounge room door, peeking my head through. He’s propped up on the sofa, his tie loosened round his neck in that delicious way he does.

  ‘They’ve gone. Just wanted to tell you the coast is clear.’ Any excuse to spend time with him.

  ‘Thanks.’ He smiles and the glare from the television lights up his handsome square jaw.

  I point around the room, wanting any excuse to spend more time with him.

  ‘Can I ask, why is this room so different to the rest of the house?’

  He smiles sadly. ‘I let my mother redecorate it for me. It reminded me too much of Claire.’

  ‘Oh.’ I nod. ‘Did it help?’

  ‘Tonight, is the second time I’ve ever been in it. Turns out memories stay with you, no matter how many times you re-wallpaper.

  I smile sadly.

  Grabbing his wine glass, he follows me out into the kitchen, silently helping me to clear up, loading the glasses into the dishwasher and corking the wine. Well, after we’ve both taken a few cheeky swigs. It makes me feel like we’re mischievous teenagers, not boss and employee.

  ‘Well, I better get to bed,’ I say with an awkward smile, before turning and leaving. I can’t stand the awkwardness.

  I’m just entering the hall when my hand is pulled. I glance at it to find Barclay’s hand engulfed in mine. I look up into his eyes, now alight with lust. My mouth turns slack as I forget how how to move anything at all.

  Next thing I know his lips are moving towards mine and then my eyes are shut, his lips on mine.

  I’m too flabbergasted to do anything really. My mouth is still partly open. He takes that as an invitation and sticks his tongue into my mouth. I’m so surprised that my eyes spring open. His are closed, his hands coming up to cup my jaw with his fingers. I close mine, letting myself enjoy it for a moment.

  Enjoy his tongue caressing mine. Before all the doubts and sensible thoughts start to infiltrate my brain.

  Then he pulls away, letting my face go. He smiles mischievously.

  ‘Can’t let the tradition not be adhered to.’ He grins, pointing up at the hanging mistletoe.

  ‘Uh-humm,’ I answer. Jesus, I can’t even speak.

  I quickly turn my body away from him and scuttle away, down to my room where I can scream into my pillow in peace.

  Chapter 27

  Friday 20th December

  Ruby

  Why must he keep kissing me? It’s playing with my bloody emotions. The more I kiss him the more it feels like the most natural thing in the world for us to do. I just don’t know if he’s using me for a quick kiss, just like that Queenie, or if he does actually like me.

  It almost feels like we hate each other, but some cosmic force is constantly pushing us together. I just can’t help but be drawn to him. I’m starting to wonder if it’s down to my limited experience of relationships. Maybe a normal person would be cool with it and I’m just bugging out wondering if it actually means something.

  Anyway, I don’t have time to mull it over today as it’s the parade. I’ve just got all the costumes done in time. It was really down to the wire, especially with Clementine sending abusive texts every ten minutes. Giving me incentives as she called them. I cannot wait to quit.

  They’re letting them out of school early so everything can be ready for 2pm. I imagine the kids not doing it are equally as ecstatic. Jessica’s been smoothing down her fire officer costume for a while now. She has no reason to be scared. She looks awesome, if I do say so myself. This year they’re all dressed as service jobs. I think Clementine took advantage of my sewing skills.

  ‘Are you nervous, sweetie?’ I ask leaning down to her level.

  She gulps. ‘A little,’ she admits, not properly meeting my eyes and biting her lip.

  Damn it, all this work I’ve done and now she’s afraid.

  ‘You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to, you know.’ Although with everything I’ve been through I hope she does.

  She chews her lip further. ‘I’d be letting everyone down.’ Her voice wobbles. I can tell she’s on the verge of tears.

  I shrug. ‘Who cares?’

  ‘I do.’ She shakes her head. ‘I’m fine. I’m going to do it.’ She has a new steely determination on her face. ‘I’m going to do it and I’m going to have fun.’

  I give her a cuddle. This girl. She’s come such a long way in such a short time.

  ‘You’re amazing, Jess. Just remember that.’

  She beams
back at me. Then she shoos me off.

  I watch as she passes me and Lottie on the float. She’s waving like a Disney princess, like she had no worries about today at all. She catches our eyes and waves like crazy. I manage to get it on video. I just hope I didn’t record the little sob that escaped from my mouth. Especially as I plan to forward it onto Barclay.

  Barclay, who I now have an undeniable crush on.

  ‘Oh, Ruby!’ I hear from behind me.

  I know that voice by now. I hear that voice in my nightmares. The bitch Clementine is walking towards me. Damn it, why does she always seem to appear whenever I’m trying to have a pleasant moment? And how is she not hungover after all that wine she sank last night? She probably drinks the blood of virgins first thing.

  ‘Ruby, I need you to do the expenses.’ She attempts to dump a large folder, overflowing with receipts into my arms. I dodge it like the plague.

  ‘Don’t you have a treasurer for that?’

  She rolls her eyes. ‘Bloody Antoinette has come down with the flu. I told her she wouldn’t have got the flu if she wasn’t so overweight, but by then she was so high on the medication, she ended up shouting abuse at me.’

  Or she did that because you told the woman she was over-weight, you horrid bitch.

  I shake my head, deciding to stand my ground. ‘Whatever, I’m not doing these expenses.’

  She shakes her head, as if not believing I dare to speak up to her.

  ‘Excuse me?’ There’s no doubt that she heard me. She should have said ‘I beg your fucking pardon.’

  ‘I said I’m not doing this. In fact, I quit the PTA.’

  I only joined to help Jessica out and little do they know I’ll be gone by the new year.

  Her eyes flare with rage, her mouth contorting. Ha, take that bitch!

  She turns and starts running towards the float.

  ‘Take Jessica off the float!’ she screams after them.