by Darcy Kent
“Hi, buttercup. You okay?”
I took a deep, cleansing breath. “What’s wrong with me?”
He laughed. “What are you serious? Nothing’s wrong with you sugar.”
“No, seriously. I have major issues.”
It was his turn to take a big, noisy breath as he spoke. “Everyone’s got issues. You’re still young and figuring things out. What’s making you feel this way?”
“I don’t know. Remember the bartender?”
“Yeah, the cowboy?”
“Well…” I trailed off.
“Get out. You and he ….Oh my God,” he squealed into my ear like a pig.
“It is all so weird. And he brought me to his place, but he lives with me. And I really like him.” I was breathing rapidly from the excitement.
I can tell he’s excited to.
“So, what? You’re like a couple now?” Waverly asked.
“I don’t know. It’s all so complicated. I guess we are but I don’t really know.”
“Well, can you ask him? Tell him how you feel.”
Tell him how I feel? Doesn’t that usually make men run for the hills? But, he had a point. Maybe I shouldn’t be afraid and just face the situation head on. And tell Ryder how I feel.
That’s exactly what I’ll do. We’ve shared things. I mean really shared things. So why not?
“Thanks, Wave,” I said, hanging up the phone.
When Ryder gets home, I’ll be sure to tell him everything.
──────────────────────────
And I wait. And wait and wait for Ryder to come home. To my home. But, it never happened. It was getting late and I wondered where he was.
I tried his cell, nothing.
I piddled around my apartment, cleaning every square inch. I turned on some music, throwing my hair around as I pranced.
Hours and hours go by, and finally around sometime in the middle of the night, I passed out.
Two days later, still nothing. He hadn’t been to work. The managers had no clue, and I’m worried.
After a week, I realized Ryder was gone. I’d stalked his shrink’s office.
And finally, after another week, I strolled into work and low and behold...there he was. All smiles and fun.
My face grew hot with anger. With a boiling hot heat anger. I was furious.
I marched up to him, past the empty tables and waitresses setting everything up.
“Ryder,” I said.
He spun around. “Helena, hey.”
He didn’t even sound remorseful. Or anything. That was not helping my anger.
“Where have you been?” I sounded needy but, I didn’t care.
His eyes bounced around the dimly lit bar as he chuckled. “Out.”
Oh no. The anger unleashed. I couldn’t contain it if I tried. “Out?”
“Yeah, you know...out.” He shrugged.
Oh, I can be out. My bitchy side came out. Full blast.
I turned and walked away, and spend the entire night making him jealous. I hang on all the drunk men, telling me my hair is the color of rain.
I laughed all night long. Loving the attention. And trying my hardest not to glance at Ryder.
Every so often, his eyes would meet mine. He looked lost.
But, I didn’t care. No, I was out.
I spotted Grant walking toward me. Ah, perfect. He’ll come in handy.
“Hey, Helena.”
“Grant.” I grabbed his arm, taking him to a secluded area in the back. Down the dusty hallways and into the break room.
I swung around, throwing my arms around his neck. I planted my lips smack dab on his. This is fine. This is working. See, I’m halfway over Ryder already.
Grant’s tongue tickled along mine, and I tried not to bust out laughing. His hands traveled south. His fingers dug into my skin.
This is perfect.
No thoughts of Ryder entered my brain. Instead, they were already there. And I tried to pretend this was working, but it wasn’t.
Before I could do anything, Grant’s body was being plucked away from mine.
My eyes opened, and I saw Ryder.
His face was angry, his eyes on fire.
“What the hell is going on?” he shouted.
Grant wiped his mouth and loosened from Ryder’s hold. “Are you fucking kidding me, Helena. This guy?”
I shook my head. “Out. Both of you out.”
I pushed on both their shoulders as they glared at each other. Ryder tried to speak, but I wasn’t letting either get a word in.
Thrusting them out into the busy club, I made my way to the restroom. I needed a minute.
Who did Ryder think he was?
I continued my shift in silence. Barely making eye contact with anyone, especially Ryder.
Grant ended up leaving after one too many shots of bourbon. Which I was happy to see him go. Very.
Ryder didn’t mention a word about the bathroom incident, and I pretended not to notice.
But inside I was dying. A little crack here, another there. More than anything I wanted to go back to the night we made love.
Well, I thought it was love.
How stupid of me.
I traveled home in a blur. Sure, Ryder tried to get my attention. He even tried to follow me, but I showed him my can of pepper spray and he backed off.
I wasn’t in the mood for an official break up. Truth is, we were never an item. So, I shouldn’t be taking it as hard as I was.
But, it didn’t help. All the pep talks. All the motivational bull shit. It didn’t help. I was hurting. I was sad. And more than anything, I missed him.
His laugh. His smile. The way he made me laugh. I missed it all.
I tore into my apartment, a mad woman wanting nothing more than to cry herself to sleep.
I shut my phone off, turned my music as loud as it could go, and sunk onto the couch.
Fuck men. Fuck everyone.
I guess I shouldn’t be so upset, but I was.
And I was happy being sad.
Don’t hear that everyday, do ya?
But, I was happy wallowing away in my self pity. Feeling sorry for myself. This was good.
This was fine.
A knock at my door pulled me out of my thoughts. It was Grant. Maybe Ryder. But, whoever it was I wanted that person to go away.
“Go away,” I shouted over the loud music.
Another knock.
“I’m not going anywhere,” Ryder shouted through the door.
My heart flipped, and I scolded her. Don’t flip flop when he speaks. Don’t do anything at all.
He kept knocking. Again, and again. Over and over.
Ugh.
I stomped to the front door and swung it open. “What?” I clipped.
“Helena, please help me.”
As my eyes took in his face, I couldn’t help but open the door for him further. His eyes were bloodshot, as if he’d been crying. His slumped posture was pathetic and sad.
He wore a black leather jacket over a white t-shirt and his jeans.
“Are you okay?” I asked as I closed the door behind him.
“No.” He shook his head.
His eyes sank into mine, feeding me his pity. My heart cracked at the seams.
I led him to the sofa, and as we sat down together I was a bundle of nerves. I twisted my fingers in my lap like I was knitting a fucking sweater. I waited on baited breath for him to speak.
“Please say something,” I said, unable to take the silence anymore.
“I’m sorry.”
Good start.
“For?” I egged him on.
Ever had those people who drag out a story? Well, that’s what he was doing. I wanted to shake him to get on with it, but I could tell with one glance at him, he was trying his hardest.
“Everything. I thought I could handle everything. But, the truth is...I’m a fucking train wreck.”
I laid my hand atop his along his thigh.
<
br /> “You’re not that bad.” I smiled.
“I got scared. You scared me. I didn’t know what to think. So, I ran to my parent’s house upstate.”
I breathed a sigh of relief.
“Ryder, I only want to help you. I care about you.” I scooted closer.
His big eyes shined with tears. “I know you do. And I care about you too.”
I wanted to say more. Like, no I really really care about you, but I refrained like a good girl. No sense making him run again.
He hugged me, but something still felt amiss.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“You and Grant...you’re not back together or anything, are you?”
I smiled a big smile. “No. I hadn’t seen him since before you left until that night. And I wanted to make you jealous.”
His face lit up like the sky on the fourth of July. “Well, it worked.”
He leaned into kiss me, and I let him. Over and over again.
The End
Epilogue
──────────────────────────
A Few Months Later
Ryder has his good days and some bad. But, all in all he’s great. And yes, we’re a couple now. And fuck Marissa with her evil stares every time we arrive at work.
Ryder has been getting serious about his future and he no longer works as much while he attends the local university to study counseling.
Me, well, I signed up for a few classes too.
In what? Would you believe me if I said ninja training? No? Well, I didn’t sign up for that. Instead I signed up for a few art classes.
It was Ryder who convinced me one night while lying in bed.
He said my love for color would be appreciated in the art world.
So, watch out people because purple will be here soon.
As for my Navy Seal.
Ryder is the perfect guy for me. He really is. My perfect seal of fate.
A few few more months later….
I sold a painting. And it was all because of Ryder. A picture of him, one night as I listened to him explain his time at war...I drew.
I painted for peace. I painted for all the tears that fell over in the sands of the Middle East.
One day soon, the tears will stop. And the world will know peace.
Until then, my only mission is for Ryder to feel at peace with me.
And that’s all that really matters.
And by the way, I’m not longer angry. Ryder and I are doing a great job of being adults.
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Bonus Novella
A Night With
The Babysitter
BONUS NOVELLA
A Night With The Babysitter
Chapter One
Tonight, is the night. I’ve waited five long agonizing months. Sitting here in this meeting, listening to my boss, Roger, talk about acquisitions and stock portfolios bores me. All I can think about is my hot babysitter at home.
She’s been watching Micah for five months. I’m a single father—ex-wife and I divorced over a year ago, and she’s traveling Europe with her new boyfriend, leaving Micah with me. I don’t mind. I’d rather have him under my roof than hers any day of the week.
So, when I work late, I needed a babysitter. I found one. Tessa. She’s young, nineteen. And gorgeous.
Long brown wavy hair, flowing to the small of her back, with enough volume to want to run my fingers through it. And her body is tight as fuck, with soft, delectable curves.
The first time she showed up at my door, my jaw dropped. I had to pick it up off the floor and allow her inside.
She’s great with Micah, though. He’s four, and they play all day while I work.
I’m twenty-eight, and honestly, I’d love some time off to play as well. That'll never happen. When your company is buying another company out, well, all dreams of fun and sunshine die in the corporate office I find myself imprisoned in.
Not tonight. Tonight, I plan on finally making a move on Tessa. I’ve seen the way she looks at me. Seen the desire clouding her big, brown doe-eyes. So, as I sit here listening to Roger drone on, my mind is elsewhere.
Right on the piece of ass waiting for me at home. God, what I wouldn’t give to sink my cock as far inside her as I can go.
My dick throbs with thoughts of her, and I pretend to listen to Roger as he walks around the room.
Don’t get me wrong, I could always fuck one of the girls from the office. It’s not like I’m hard up. Helen from accounting would love to hop on my cock and take a spin. I’m sure Jasmine from HR would too. I bet I could get them to play in some menage action if I wanted. But, I don’t. No, I’m obsessing about my babysitter.
She’s intelligent for someone her age, and I actually enjoy talking to her. Soft, plump lips, and she really gets me going when she speaks.
And, Micah adores her.
But, I’m not thinking about anything long-term, am I? No, I just want one night. One night to fuck the hell out of her. My dick hasn’t seen action since my divorce. It’s been a long time. A really long time.
My cock pulses underneath my suit pants, and I glance at my watch. Fuck, how much longer can Roger listen to himself speak? He’s been at this for hours. Let us go, man.
“What do you think, Beckett?”
I glimpse up, interrupted by my naughty thoughts of Tessa. “I agree.” I hope that's the right answer. Roger smiles, and I lean back into my office chair. Phew.
The outside city lights buzz with excitement, and I wish I could be out there, living in the moment, racing through town with a drink in one hand, and a hot babe in the other. But, those days for me are long gone now. After my failed marriage, I don’t get to entertain as much as I once did.
Hell, back in my early twenties, I was a party animal. With this new job, and father responsibilities, I sit home most nights, doing reports for Roger and watching SpongeBob Squarepants.
Hey, it’s not what I always imagined my life would be, but I am happy.
Very happy.
Micah is everything to me. And, there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for my son. But, a man has needs. And right now, I have a bunch. They all center around Tessa.
Maybe she is too young, and I should take one of the girls from the office home. I just can’t bring myself to do it.
I want Tessa.
Her tight body and bright mind are what I want to surround myself with. I just need to get laid, dammit.
Chapter Two
It’s late by the time Roger lets us out of the meeting. The air outside is crisp and cool on my skin. I rush home in a flurry of want and desire. My skin laced with anticipation of what to expect when I get there.
I’ve laid the groundwork, I’ve set all the stones in place. I’ve read her signs and signals. She wants this; I’m sure of it.
Like last week, when I came home with her favorite ice cream, and we watched a movie on my large, sectional sofa. Her feet got cold. She placed them in my lap, and I rubbed them. It wasn’t anything weird, so don’t look at me crazily. But, it was sweet.
She enjoyed it, judging by the little mewls coming out of her mouth. Like a sexy little kitten.
Standing on the doorstep to my condo, Tessa on the other side, I harden with thoughts of her.
I place my key into the lock, turning quietly, hoping not to wak
e Micah. Oftentimes, I come home and Micah and Tessa will be snuggled on the couch, watching a movie. Tonight, I hope that’s not the case.
I kind of hope she’s naked, waiting for me. Yeah, in my dreams.
I slip inside, the heat of the air warming my skin. The lights are low, and I sidestep a Tonka toy truck in the center of the foyer.
Sleeping on the couch is Tessa. She stirs slightly as I draw near.
“Are you awake?” My excitement falters a bit as I see her cuddled on the couch.
“No, I’m awake. Just resting my eyes,” she coos.
“Sorry I’m home so late.”
I move toward her. Ready to take action.
I’ll take what I want. I’ll make her mine. And tomorrow, when the sun rises, it’ll all be over.
“It’s okay. What time is it?”
“Late. You can stay here tonight. That way you don’t have to drive.”
She smiles a soft smile, and my heart speeds up.
I’m fucking nervous, but I yank at my tie, removing it from my neck. I toss it against the armchair. “Coffee?”
“Sure.” She sits up, running her fingers through her hair, smoothing it down to the tips. The light from the moon casts a soft glow around the room, giving her an ethereal presence. She looks like an angel.
I walk into the kitchen, flicking on the overhead, soft fluorescent light. Pouring water into the coffee maker, I concentrate solely on the task at hand. I feel like a fucking teenager, all nervous and shit.
But, that all stops when she steps foot across the tile entryway.
“Hey,” she says, hopping up onto the granite countertop. Her white skirt rides up her thighs, and I catch myself staring at her silky long legs.
She crosses her ankles, palms flat on the counter, and leans forward. “Smells good.” She inhales deeply as the coffee percolates.
I pull two mugs down and ask her about Micah. She lets me know they had a great day, and he went to bed with no problems. For that, I’m glad.
I unbutton one button as I wait for the coffee to finish. I crack my neck to the side, rubbing my hand along the tight muscles.
