The Swan Maid

by Dilly Court

  ‘I think she knew exactly what she was after. Some girls seem to fall in love with the uniform and not the man, and I’d say that was the case with Lady Aurelia. She loves adventure and she lives for thrills and excitement. I would have thought that this evening’s little performance demonstrated exactly what she’s like.’

  Shocked by his words, Lottie was silent for a moment, trying to compare the vision he had of Lady Aurelia with her own, and failing miserably. ‘I think you’re being very hard on her,’ she said at last. ‘Perhaps some of it is true, but that doesn’t mean she’s a bad person. Maybe she does love Gillingham.’

  ‘The colonel is a decent chap, Lottie. He deserves better.’

  ‘It’s plain for anyone to see that he worships her.’

  ‘Even more than Lady Petunia?’ Gideon’s lips twitched and his hazel eyes twinkled. ‘Come, don’t let us fight about them. It’s their business when all is said and done. I just don’t want you to get too involved in Lady Aurelia’s schemes.’

  ‘I can think for myself, and I can look after myself. Perhaps I made a mistake coming to look for you, but I just wanted to make sure that you hadn’t got into trouble because of what I said.’ She turned to leave, but he was too quick for her and he caught her by the hand.

  ‘Don’t go, Lottie. I’m sorry if I offended you.’

  ‘It’s all right. You’re entitled to your opinions, as I am to mine.’ She withdrew her hand gently. ‘I’d better get back to the house before I’m missed.’

  ‘I’ll walk with you. It’ll be dark soon.’ He proffered his arm. ‘There’s no need for us to fall out.’

  ‘Of course not.’

  He helped her up the slippery bank. ‘Your boots are muddy. How will you explain that to the ogress Mrs Manners?’

  ‘That’s easy. I’ll just say I was visiting Lady Petunia.’ Lottie glanced ruefully at the muddy hem of her skirt. ‘I seem to spend half my time in the laundry room, thanks to that pig.’

  ‘When it comes to his two ladies, I wonder who the colonel would miss more if Lady Aurelia decided to remain at home when we leave for the Crimea,’ Gideon said, chuckling.

  ‘I wouldn’t like to say, but that won’t happen. We are kitted out and ready to go.’

  ‘I wish you would change your mind, Lottie. You don’t know what you’re letting yourself in for.’

  ‘I’ll face whatever comes.’ She walked on but he caught up with her before she had gone more than a few steps.

  ‘It’s madness, Lottie. It will be winter when we arrive in the Crimea, and who knows what terrible conditions we’ll have to face. If I were your husband I wouldn’t think of putting you in such danger.’

  ‘Well, we’re not married, Gideon, and you have no say in my future.’

  He grasped her hand, crushing her fingers in a tight grip. ‘Then marry me, Lottie. Marry me and I’ll look after you.’

  ‘Let me go. You’re hurting me.’

  He released her instantly. ‘I’m sorry, but I meant what I said. We could get married by special licence and I would see that you were well provided for while I’m away.’

  ‘This is crazy talk. We hardly know each other.’

  ‘I think a lot of you, and I believe you like me. The rest would follow, if you’ll just allow me to keep you safe from harm.’

  She shook her head. ‘Stop it, Gideon. This is madness.’

  ‘Is it madness to want to protect you from an experience that might scar you for life, or could prove fatal?’

  ‘No, of course not. In fact it’s a kindness I don’t deserve, and one I cannot accept. Mutual liking isn’t a firm basis for marriage, and I refuse to take advantage of your good nature.’

  ‘I meant it, Lottie. I do care for you deeply, and there is no need for you to do this.’

  ‘I’ve given you my answer, Gideon.’

  He lengthened his step in order to keep up with her as she hurried homewards. ‘All right, I won’t say another word, but if you change your mind …’

  The words hung in the night air and were wafted away on a cool breeze as they continued in silence. They parted outside the gates of the Dashwoods’ residence.

  ‘Good night, Gideon.’ Lottie shot him a sideways glance. ‘Thank you for walking me home.’

  He opened the gate and stood back. ‘Good night, Miss Lane.’

  ‘This is ridiculous,’ she said crossly. ‘We’ve been friends until now. Don’t be angry and spoil everything.’

  ‘You made your feelings clear. I think it’s better if we don’t see so much of each other.’

  She stiffened, chilled by the icy tone in his voice. ‘If that’s the way you want it.’

  ‘You know it isn’t.’ His voice throbbed with emotion. ‘I asked you to marry me, Lottie, and you turned me down. You brushed my offer aside and said it was madness. “Crazy” was a word you used.’

  ‘And it would have been madness had I accepted you simply to get out of accompanying Lady Aurelia to the Crimea. You don’t love me, Gideon. You were being a gentleman, and I think it was very kind of you—’

  ‘Stop there. You don’t need to go on. I’m sorry I mentioned it.’ He turned and walked away.

  She was tempted to call him back, but what would she say? They had argued and gone round in circles. He could not, or would not, see her point of view and she was at a loss to understand why he was being so stubborn. She had tried to make him understand why she could not accept a proposal made on the spur of the moment, even if it had been made with the best of intentions. She did not doubt his sincerity, but she was convinced that when he had had time to think it through he would wish it unsaid. She walked round to the servants’ entrance and let herself in.

  Hansford met her at the foot of the back stairs. ‘Lady Aurelia has been ringing for you, Miss Lane.’

  ‘I went for a walk,’ Lottie said, glancing down at her muddy boots. ‘I didn’t realise how late it was.’

  ‘If you’d like to leave your shoes with me I’ll give them a clean, miss. It’s not a good idea to walk mud through the house. Mrs Manners gets a bit upset.’

  ‘Of course. What was I thinking?’ She leaned against the wall and took off the muddy footwear. ‘Thank you, Hansford.’

  ‘This is river mud, miss. It’s not a good idea to walk that far at night.’

  ‘I lost my way, Hansford, but I won’t make that mistake again.’

  ‘I don’t doubt you, miss.’

  Aurelia was seated at her dressing table when Lottie entered the room. She glanced at her in the mirror, but did not look round. ‘Where were you? I’ve been ringing the bell for ages.’

  ‘I’m sorry, my lady. I went for a walk and lost track of the time.’

  ‘I suppose you went to meet your beau.’

  ‘I haven’t got a beau, my lady.’

  ‘I’m not stupid, Lottie. I’ve seen the way you and Ellis are with each other. There’s only one reason why a young woman ventures out alone at night and I’ll wager it wasn’t to visit my husband’s prize sow.’

  ‘You’re right, of course. I needed to apologise to Gideon for pretending that we had an assignation.’

  ‘Which didn’t go well, by the look on your face.’ Aurelia twisted round on the stool, giving her a searching look. ‘You can’t fool me, Lottie. I’m well versed in affairs of the heart. Heaven knows I’ve had enough to last a lifetime. What happened?’

  ‘We had a slight argument, my lady. I’m sure it will blow over.’

  ‘You like him quite a lot, I think.’

  ‘Quite a lot, my lady.’

  ‘So what went wrong?’

  ‘He didn’t think it was a good idea for me to accompany you to the Crimea.’

  ‘And he offered you marriage as a way out?’

  Lottie stared at her in amazement. ‘How did you know that?’

  ‘My dear girl, he’s a born gentleman. In his mind it would be the only way in which he could keep you from harm. I take it you turned him down.’

 
‘Yes, of course. What else could I do?’

  ‘You could have accepted and married him.’

  ‘Which I’m sure we would both live to regret.’

  ‘Good. I’m glad you have a mind of your own, Lottie. Now will you please take the pins out of my hair and help me to get ready for bed. I’m exhausted. I’ve spent the last part of the evening trying to be nice to that ghastly woman when all I wanted to do was to pull off her hideous red wig and throw it in the fire.’

  ‘She wears a wig?’

  ‘Of course it’s a wig. Underneath that false thatch she’s as grey as a badger, or maybe she’s bald. I don’t know, but I was sorely tempted to snatch it from her head. I’ll take a few drops of laudanum when I’m in bed, or I’ll never get to sleep.’

  Whether or not it had anything to do with the unfortunate incident in the officers’ mess, or if it was merely a coincidence, Lottie was disappointed to learn that there were to be no more riding lessons. Aurelia was furious, but the decision had been taken and an order given, and there was no chance of having it countermanded. She paced the drawing-room floor wringing her hands in frustration.

  ‘Can you believe it, Lottie? Dashwood neglected to tell me that Gillingham and his men have to complete their training with the Telegraph Detachment as a matter of urgency.’

  Lottie stood by the door, wondering why she had been summoned so urgently. ‘Have they, my lady?’

  ‘Do you understand what that means?’

  ‘Not really,’ Lottie admitted, eyeing her mistress warily. Lady Aurelia had been edgy and difficult for a whole week. She was, Lottie thought, like a saucepan of milk simmering and ready to boil over at any minute.

  ‘It means that we won’t see them again until we are on the ship bound for the Crimea,’ Aurelia continued angrily. ‘I had to find out from Hansford. Can you believe that, Lottie?’

  ‘No, my lady.’

  ‘My own husband kept the truth from me.’

  ‘Begging you pardon, my lady, but what are we talking about?’

  ‘We are leaving for Southampton tomorrow, and we’ll remain there, kicking our heels, while we wait for orders.’

  ‘But we aren’t ready,’ Lottie protested. ‘I haven’t even begun to pack your things.’

  ‘Then you’d better begin right away. Ring the bell and I’ll send for Hansford. He’ll bring the rest of my trunks down from the attic.’

  ‘I’m not sure what you want to take and what you want to leave.’

  ‘Throw everything in, but not too many ball gowns.’

  ‘Surely you won’t need ball gowns in the Crimea, my lady.’

  ‘Who knows how long we’ll be stuck in Southampton. I’m not going to sit in our lodgings night after night.’ Aurelia moved swiftly to the escritoire in the corner of the large room. ‘I’ve written a note to Farrell, I mean Lieutenant Gillingham. I want you to make sure that he gets it, do you understand?’ She snatched up a folded and sealed sheet of writing paper. ‘Take it to him now.’

  ‘I’ll try, my lady.’

  ‘It’s too bad,’ Aurelia cried, clutching her hands to her flushed cheeks. ‘I’ll never forgive Dashwood for this, never.’

  Their lodgings in Southampton were luxurious by Lottie’s standards, but Aurelia declared them fit only for pigs.

  ‘Dashwood’s wretched sow is housed better,’ she said, throwing her smart new shako down on the sofa in disgust. ‘I feel as if I’m being punished, like a naughty child sent to the nursery because of bad behaviour.’

  ‘I’m sure that wasn’t Colonel Dashwood’s intention, my lady.’ Lottie nodded to Hansford, who had spent the last half an hour unloading the cabin trunks and cases from the carrier’s cart.

  He stood in the doorway, clutching his cap in his hands. ‘Will there be anything else for the moment, my lady? If not, I thought I’d walk down to the docks and take a look at the ships.’

  ‘No, there’s nothing else you can do for now, Hansford.’ Aurelia’s brow cleared and she managed a tight little smile. ‘I trust your room is to your satisfaction.’

  ‘I’ve no complaints, my lady. It’s as tidy a billet as I could hope for.’ He backed out of the room, closing the door behind him.

  Aurelia slumped down on the sofa. ‘This is so hard it feels as though it’s been stuffed with the horse’s bones as well as its hair. I’ll have a few words to say to Dashwood when he decides to join us. Whenever that might be.’

  ‘It can’t be too long, my lady.’

  ‘I will die of boredom if we have to spend weeks here.’ Aurelia rose to her feet and went to stand in the bay window, which overlooked the busy street. ‘I don’t understand why Farrell didn’t reply to my note. You did give it to him, didn’t you, Lottie?’

  Lottie smothered a sigh. Her ladyship had asked this question so many times that she had lost count, and her answer had always been the same. ‘I wasn’t allowed to see him, my lady. I gave it to Private Benson, who was on guard duty, and he promised he would pass it on.’

  ‘I think that someone must have intercepted his response.’

  ‘I suppose it’s possible,’ Lottie said reluctantly. She had come to that conclusion herself, but she had not dared to voice her concerns. ‘Would you like me to ask the landlady to bring some refreshment? A pot of tea or some cordial?’

  ‘At this moment I would like a tot of brandy or a glass of champagne to lift my spirits.’ Aurelia ran her fingers up and down the heavy velvet curtain. ‘Dust,’ she said crossly. ‘These curtains should be hung outside in the fresh air and beaten.’

  ‘Yes, my lady.’ Lottie was at a loss to know how to handle her mistress in this mood. ‘Would you like me to go out and buy a bottle of brandy? For medicinal purposes, of course.’

  ‘I should have sent Hansford, only it’s too late now. Yes, take the money from my reticule. I think I’ll lie down for a while. I have a headache coming on. You might purchase some laudanum while you’re out. I doubt if I’ll sleep a wink in this noisy town.’

  Lottie put on her bonnet and wrapped her shawl around her shoulders. Their suite of rooms occupied the whole of the first floor of what had once been a smart town house, but was now divided into letting rooms. Lady Aurelia might have a poor opinion of the place, but it was clean and nicely decorated with well-proportioned rooms and decent, if slightly shabby furniture. Lottie left the building and walked along the street, which was lined with similar terraced houses, interspersed with older buildings and shops. She idled away some time, looking at hats in a milliner’s window, and the items displayed in a haberdashery. Then, having purchased a bottle of cognac and a pennyworth of laudanum she walked back to the house, pausing for a moment as she saw a smart carriage draw to a halt on the far side of the road.

  Her hand flew to her mouth as she recognised the occupants. How, she wondered, would she break the news to Lady Aurelia?

  Chapter Eight

  ‘Oh Lord, no.’ Aurelia sipped the brandy that Lottie had had the forethought to give her before she broke the news. ‘Not the dreaded Fothergill woman. You must have been mistaken, Lottie.’

  ‘No, my lady. I’ve never seen anyone else with hair that colour. I’m quite certain that it was the major-general and his wife. Perhaps they were just visiting.’

  Aurelia swallowed the last drop in her glass and held it out for a refill. ‘That’s nonsense and you know it. There’s only one reason why Fluffy Fothergill would be here, and that is to oversee arrangements for our departure.’

  ‘But that’s good, isn’t it?’ Lottie added another small tot to the glass. ‘It means that we won’t have to stay here for any great length of time. The colonel will join us and so will Lieutenant Gillingham.’

  ‘Don’t mention Gillingham’s name again. It’s obvious that he cares little for me or he would have found a way to communicate.’

  ‘He’s in a difficult position, my lady. You are the wife of his commanding officer.’

  ‘You don’t have to remind me of that, Lottie.’ Aureli
a stared into the glass, twirling it round between her fingers. She set it down on the table at her side. ‘This isn’t the answer. I’m behaving like a lovelorn schoolgirl. Fetch my bonnet and shawl. We’re going out, and the devil take Cordelia Fothergill.’

  Next morning, Lottie had just finished unpacking the garments that Lady Aurelia considered absolutely necessary for her immediate needs, when there was a knock on the door.

  ‘You’ve got a visitor, miss,’ the landlady said, breathing heavily. ‘I ain’t no parlour maid, you can tell that to her ladyship. I don’t do stairs if I can help it.’

  ‘Who is it, Mrs Kempson?’

  ‘Look, dearie, I ain’t no butler neither. I didn’t ask the old crow her name, but she’s got hair that ain’t natural for a woman of her age. It’s dyed or it’s a wig. You can take your pick.’

  ‘Mrs Fothergill.’ Lottie glanced over Mrs Kempson’s shoulder, half expecting to see the major-general’s wife at the top of the stairs. ‘Did you say that Lady Aurelia is at home?’

  ‘What have I just said? I told you I ain’t a servant in this establishment. I’m the owner and I lets rooms. If you want to go down and tell the woman you’re not at home, it’s up to you. I done me bit.’ She stomped off along the landing, grumbling loudly.

  Lottie went to give Lady Aurelia the bad news. ‘You’ve got a visitor, my lady.’

  Aurelia was still in bed, sipping a cup of chocolate. ‘Oh, no. Not Cordelia?’

  ‘I’m afraid so, my lady.’

  ‘Tell her I’m out.’

  ‘I’m afraid Mrs Kempson’s already informed her that you’re at home.’

  ‘Then say I’m indisposed.’

  ‘Very well, my lady. Although I doubt if she’ll believe me.’ Lottie left the room and came face to face with Cordelia Fothergill. ‘I’m sorry, Mrs Fothergill, but Lady Aurelia is not feeling well and is not receiving visitors.’

  Cordelia pushed past her. ‘Nonsense, I saw you both out walking yesterday. I would have come across the road sooner, but I had to make sure that Cole put my things away tidily.’

  ‘No, really, ma’am,’ Lottie insisted, backing towards Aurelia’s bedroom. ‘My lady is still in bed.’