The Swan Maid

by Dilly Court

  Lottie poured a tot of brandy into a glass and took a sip. The fiery spirit went straight to her head, giving her a pleasant feeling of euphoria, which vanished as quickly as it had come.

  ‘When will they arrive?’

  ‘I don’t know but they will be admitted to the hospital as a matter of urgency. I refuse to be widowed twice.’

  ‘You aren’t married to Lieutenant Gillingham,’ Lottie said angrily. ‘Why do you always think only of yourself?’

  ‘You’re right, of course.’ Aurelia toyed with her glass, staring into the amber liquid with tears in her eyes. ‘I am selfish. I was born that way, but I do love Farrell and we are man and wife in the eyes of God.’ She shot a sideways glance at Lottie. ‘I’m sorry, what was it you were going to tell me?’

  ‘Just that I’ve found my father. He’s living in a tiny bungalow with my old ayah and has been for the last six or seven years.’

  Aurelia reached out to lay her hand on Lottie’s. ‘But that’s wonderful, isn’t it? Why do you look so sad?’

  ‘He broke his back and now he cannot walk. He’s crippled for life.’

  ‘But is there nothing that can be done?’

  ‘Apparently not.’

  ‘Maybe not here, but we must get him back to London. There must be someone in the medical profession who could help him.’

  ‘Even if there were, I couldn’t afford to pay for his treatment.’

  ‘I’m a wealthy woman, Lottie. You and I have been through much together, and if I can help you in any way, I will.’

  Lottie smiled and shook her head. ‘In any way? I can’t see you working in our little pie and mash shop, Aurelia.’

  ‘Dammit, I’ll set you up in your own premises if that’s what you want. You can have a string of pie and mash shops, on condition that you never expect me to put a foot in any of them.’ Aurelia drained the last of the brandy from her glass. ‘We’d better go in for dinner. I’m afraid it will be goat curry yet again, because Romila doesn’t seem to know how to cook anything else.’

  ‘Be thankful that it isn’t eel pie,’ Lottie said, chuckling. ‘I’m sorry, but I refuse to be miserable. I’ve found my pa, and Gideon has survived this far and is on his way here. I learned a lot from Mother Seacole and I’ll take care of him and Pa.’

  Aurelia rose somewhat unsteadily to her feet. ‘I wish I were as brave as you, Lottie. You put me to shame, you really do.’

  ‘If you were a coward you wouldn’t be here now, fighting for your man. We women have to be strong in a different way from men, but that doesn’t mean our lot is easier or less painful. We have to pick up the pieces and try to put them back together. If that isn’t courage, I don’t know what is.’

  Aurelia rose to her feet. ‘I feel better now, even if I am a bit tipsy.’ She held out her hand. ‘Come on, Lottie. Let’s face the goat curry together, and tomorrow we’ll work out a plan to get us all home to England.’

  It was a full week before they received the news that Farrell and Gideon had been admitted to the military hospital in Poona. In the meantime Lottie had taken the opportunity to visit her father every day and the slow process of getting to know each other after so many years of separation had begun. As a small child she had been in awe of the big man with the booming voice, but now he seemed so small. She was deeply moved by his helplessness, although she knew better than to show him pity. They shared reminiscences from the past, and Harold listened in rapt silence while Lottie told him about life at The Swan and her experiences in the Crimea. The only subject that he assiduously avoided was what would happen when Lottie returned to England. Any suggestions she had made about taking him home to London were skilfully side-tracked so that he avoided giving her a firm answer. Although Lottie understood her father’s reluctance to be a burden, the thought of abandoning him to the care of others was insupportable. She knew that they would clash and it would be a contest of wills, but leaving him in India was not an option.

  With her father’s future settled in her own mind at least, Lottie prepared to visit the military hospital for the first time. She was excited at the prospect of seeing Gideon again, but also anxious as to the extent of the injuries that were serious enough to allow him to be repatriated. One thing was clear in her mind – she would stand by him and look after him. There was nothing she could not face as long as they were together.

  Aurelia emerged from her room, dressed in black from head to foot with her veil covering her face.

  ‘Good Lord!’ Lottie stared at her in horror. ‘You look as though you’re going to a funeral. What will Farrell think?’

  ‘My white muslin is soiled and the veil on my straw hat has been eaten by something. I can’t let him see my face; not yet anyway.’

  ‘We’ve had this out before,’ Lottie said, sighing. ‘If he truly loves you he won’t allow something like a scar to come between you.’

  ‘It ruins my looks. You’re used to seeing me like this, but he’s in a bad way and the shock might be too much for him. Men place such importance on physical beauty.’

  Lottie stepped outside onto the veranda. ‘The gharry is waiting to take us to the hospital. Are you coming, or not?’

  ‘A little sympathy would go a long way,’ Aurelia muttered. ‘This might be the end of everything for me.’

  Lottie took her place in the rickety vehicle. ‘I know it’s hard, but you should have more faith in him.’

  Reluctantly, Aurelia climbed in beside her. ‘I don’t think I can do this, Lottie.’

  ‘Of course you can.’ Lottie sat back as the driver flicked his whip and the gharry lurched forward.

  Lottie had hoped that Gideon and Farrell might be keeping each other company in one of the wards, but Aurelia was taken one way and Lottie was led in the opposite direction to an open ward. A punkah at each end of the long room moved rhythmically, fanning the air just enough to provide a little relief from the summer heat. Beds on either side were occupied by men in varying degrees of consciousness. Some were clearly in a bad way, while others were sitting up and taking notice. Lottie received some cheeky comments from those who were on the mend, and weak smiles from others who were not so well. She moved quickly to the end of the ward where the nurse told her she could find Sapper Ellis.

  ‘Did you give him the letter I wrote, telling him that I was coming?’ Lottie asked anxiously.

  The prim nurse’s face creased into a smile. ‘He’s been counting the hours, miss.’

  ‘Thank you.’ Lottie’s heart was thudding and her mouth was dry as she approached his bed, and it was a shock to see it empty and neatly made. For a wild moment she thought the worst, but then she realised he was seated in a chair on the far side and he was waving to attract her attention.

  Forgetting everything else, she broke into a run, receiving a faint cheer from a man in the next bed. ‘Go to it, girl. He’s a lucky chap.’

  Lottie rounded the bed, coming to a sudden halt when she saw the extent of Gideon’s injuries. He seemed to be encased in bandages from his chest and right arm to his splinted right leg, which was raised and resting on a chair in front of him.

  His lips twisted into a grimace. ‘Not very romantic, I’m afraid, Lottie. As you can see I’m in a bit of a state.’

  She hurried to his side and, taking his face between her hands, she answered him with a kiss. ‘You’re alive, and that’s all that matters.’

  ‘I can’t believe that you came all this way to find me.’ Gideon’s voice shook and his hand trembled as he reached out to stroke her cheek. ‘You are a wonderful woman, Lottie. I don’t deserve you.’

  ‘I thought at first that you’d died in the Crimea,’ Lottie whispered. ‘When Tom Bonney told me that you’d been sent to India with Lieutenant Gillingham I was overjoyed to know you were alive, but you were even further away and I was afraid I might never see you again. When Lady Aurelia offered me the position of companion I jumped at the chance to come here.’

  ‘Has she come with you today?’ Gideon’
s fingers tightened around Lottie’s hand. ‘Gillingham pleaded in vain with his superiors for news of her, and he was convinced that she had succumbed to her injuries in the French hospital, which is why he didn’t defend his actions. I think he came here hoping to die.’

  ‘She is well now, but her face is badly scarred. She is terrified that he won’t love her now.’

  Gideon raised her hand to his lips. ‘Gillingham isn’t like that, Lottie. He risked everything for the woman he loved and he’s paid the price.’

  ‘What do you mean by that?’ Lottie asked anxiously. ‘How bad is he?’

  ‘We were caught in a rock fall. I suffered cracked ribs, and broke my arm and leg, but Gillingham sustained head injuries.’ Gideon looked away. ‘It’s not good news, I’m afraid.’

  Lottie could see that talking about his experiences was upsetting him, but she needed to know what to expect, if only for Aurelia’s sake. ‘Go on,’ she said gently. ‘What is it that you aren’t telling me?’

  Gideon turned his head to look her in the eye, his expression desolate. ‘My bones will heal in time, but Gillingham’s condition will affect him for the rest of his life.’

  ‘Tell me, please.’

  ‘He lost his sight, Lottie. He’s blind.’

  Lottie digested this in silence. It was a shock, and for Gillingham it must be a terrible affliction, but all she could think about was how it would affect Aurelia. For two people who had suffered so much it seemed an unfair blow, and their love for each other would be tested to the limit. Lottie leaned over to kiss Gideon on the forehead. ‘You’ve been through hell, Gideon. I’m sorry for Lieutenant Gillingham, but at least he is alive and Aurelia loves him, as I love you. We will be all right, Gideon. I promise you that.’

  Before he had a chance to reply the nurse, bristling with authority, came to stand at the foot of the bed. ‘Visiting time is over, miss. We mustn’t overtire our patient, must we?’

  Lottie was tempted to argue, but she could see that the nurse was determined to have her way. ‘I’m leaving now.’ She kissed Gideon, on the lips this time, much to the delight of the patient in the next bed, who clapped enthusiastically, but was quelled by a withering glance from the nurse.

  ‘I’ll see you tomorrow,’ Lottie whispered.

  ‘Until then, my love,’ Gideon said, smiling.

  It was an image that Lottie knew would carry her through until the next day when she would visit the hospital again. She left the ward and went to the vestibule, expecting to have to sit and wait for Aurelia, but she was already there. Lottie hurried up to her. ‘Gideon told me about the lieutenant’s injuries. I am so sorry, Aurelia. I don’t know what else to say.’

  Aurelia threw back her veil. ‘Well, I won’t need to worry about this any longer, will I?’

  ‘You’re not abandoning him, are you?’

  ‘Don’t be silly. Of course not. Farrell is mine until death do us part, and I won’t allow anything to come between us again. I’ll take him back to London and he’ll receive the best possible treatment. Whatever happens, I’ll take care of him and we’ll be married at the first possible opportunity.’

  ‘Is he aware of all this?’

  Aurelia tossed her head. ‘You know what men are like, Lottie. He said all the usual things: that it wouldn’t be fair to tie me to a blind man, and I deserve better. All very noble, but complete twaddle, and I told him so in no uncertain terms. As soon as he and your man are fit to travel we’re going home.’

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  London was bathed in golden September sunshine, but even so Lottie was conscious of the uniform greyness of the streets and buildings, and the drabness of the clothing worn by the passers-by. As she stepped down from the hackney carriage in Leman Street she felt the chill of autumn in the air and she shivered. After the heat of India it would take some time to get acclimatised, although the change in the weather had been gradual during the long sea voyage. Their return to England had been delayed until both Gideon and Farrell were fit enough to undertake the journey, but now they were here and Lottie breathed in the familiar smoky air, tinged with the odours from the river and the dung and detritus that blanketed the cobblestones. The milling crowds and the babble of voices, combined with the clatter of horses’ hoofs and the rumble of cartwheels, was in sharp contrast to the much slower pace of life in Poona. But this was where she belonged and she was home at last.

  She turned to Gideon, who was having difficulty lifting her father. ‘I’ll get Jem,’ she said, taking some coins from her reticule to pay their fare from the docks. ‘If you would just wait a while, please, cabby, I’ll get help.’ She crossed the pavement and mounted the steps. The door was open and a familiar smell of hot pies wafted out to greet her. ‘Jem. Are you there?’

  He emerged from the front parlour, wiping his hands on his apron and enveloped her in a bear-like hug. ‘You’ve arrived. We got your letter, but we didn’t know exactly when you were coming. Teddy’s been down at the shipping office every day, making enquiries as to when your ship was due.’

  ‘I can’t wait to see him and everyone, but I need your help to get my pa from the cab. Gideon can’t manage him on his own.’

  ‘We’ve made up a bed for your pa in the back parlour.’

  Lottie stood on tiptoe to kiss him on the cheek. ‘Thank you, Jem. I knew I could rely on you. It’s only temporary until we can find somewhere to live.’

  He shook his head. ‘This is more your home than mine, Lottie. The missis and me are the ones who should find a place we can call our own.’

  He was out of the door before Lottie had a chance to argue. She waited, watching anxiously as Jem lifted her father from the cab and carried him effortlessly into the house. Gideon followed more slowly. His arm had healed and he had abandoned his crutches, but he still walked with the aid of a stick. ‘It’s a long time since I was here.’

  ‘Your mother will be so happy to see you again,’ Lottie said, smiling. ‘I expect they’re all downstairs in the kitchen. I’ll make sure that Pa is comfortable and I’ll join you.’

  Gideon brushed her cheek with a kiss. ‘It’s not exactly the homecoming I dreamed of, but I can’t wait to see the old girl again.’

  Lottie chuckled. ‘Don’t let her hear you calling her old, she’ll never forgive you. Your ma is still a handsome woman. I could see at once where you got your looks.’

  ‘You always make me feel good about myself, Lottie. You kept us all sane during the weeks at sea. I don’t know how you did it, but you have a gift for making people happy.’

  ‘Stop saying things like that. You’ll have me in tears in a minute. Now go and give your ma a hug and a kiss, and don’t forget to be nice to Jezebel. I don’t know how we would have survived without her eel pies.’

  ‘As I recall, she was a terrifying creature at The Swan. I don’t think Frank Jenkins ever forgave you for telling him she was pretty. He was lucky to get away with his life when he went up behind her and tried to put his arms around her.’

  ‘That seems such a long time ago,’ Lottie said, sighing. ‘So much has happened since then.’

  Gideon leaned over to kiss her on the forehead. ‘Don’t be sad, sweetheart. I might not be fit enough for active service, but I’ll make you proud of me yet.’

  ‘I am proud of you, Gideon. Never doubt it. Now go downstairs and put your poor mother’s mind at ease, and remember to pat Jezebel’s dog. She dotes on Lad as if he were her child.’

  ‘I’ll kiss everyone, including the dog, if it makes you happy.’

  ‘One more thing,’ Lottie said urgently. ‘I haven’t even told Pa that Molly is Aurelia’s child. Grace and Jem know, of course, and I confided in you, but it mustn’t go any further.’

  ‘I don’t understand how a mother could turn her back on her own flesh and blood, but for your sake I’ll keep my mouth shut, although I don’t like keeping it from Farrell.’

  ‘It’s not our decision,’ Lottie said sadly. ‘I keep hoping that Aurelia will
come to her senses and realise what a terrible mistake she’s making.’

  Gideon kissed her on the cheek. ‘If she had a heart, she hides it well.’ He headed for the stairs.

  Lottie was about to follow Jem and her father to the back parlour, but she paused for a moment. It was good to be home, even if the house looked even shabbier than before. The wallpaper was peeling and the paintwork was chipped, but the floorboards were scrubbed clean and the smell of lye soap mingled with beeswax polish. She suspected that Grace had worked hard to keep her home neat and tidy, even if it was in desperate need of redecoration. Lottie had been making plans during the journey from India, but she knew that things were not going to be easy. A small pie shop was not likely to bring in enough money to support them all, and money was tight. She jumped at the sound of the parlour door opening and she forced her lips into a smile as Jem came to meet her.

  ‘Don’t worry about your pa,’ he said cheerfully. ‘Harold will be fine and we’re already good mates. I gave him a bell and told him to ring it if he needs anything.’

  ‘Thank you, Jem. I knew I could rely on you.’ Lottie entered the room to find her father seated by the fire in Grace’s favourite armchair.

  He was pale and looked exhausted, but he managed a smile. ‘He’s a good chap, that Jem. He was telling me how he’s known you since you were twelve. I didn’t realise that you were sent out to work so young, Lottie. I trusted Sefton to bring you up as a lady, and he let me down. I’ll have something to say to him next time we meet.’

  ‘Don’t upset yourself, Pa,’ Lottie said gently. ‘It’s all in the past and we’re together again now, which is all that matters.’

  Harold stared moodily at the flames licking round the coal. ‘At what cost, my love? I am a cripple, unable to do anything for myself, let alone to provide for you, and Gideon’s leg injury makes it impossible for him to re-enlist. We’re both dependent on you, and it’s not right.’