0373659288 (R)

by Leanne Banks

  “A gift?” she said, delighted. “What on earth did you get me? I need nothing.”

  “Need and want merge every now and then,” he said, setting down his glass of wine on the coffee table and rising.

  Curious, Sara watched him as he left the room, then quickly reentered. “An electric piano,” he said, carrying the instrument into the room. “It’s not as good as a real piano, but maybe this will help you get by.”

  Sara was so moved she could barely speak. “I don’t know what to say,” she said, her eyes filling with tears. “I can’t remember when someone did something this thoughtful for me.”

  “Hmm,” he said in a short husky tone. “Then maybe you’ve been hanging around the wrong people.”

  Sara turned the electric piano volume on low and played a scale then a short song. She looked up at Gavin. “This is going to be wonderful for both me and the children. I can see both of them wanting to play with it. And when I say play, I mean learn. I don’t know how to thank you,” she said, rising from the piano and throwing herself into his arms.

  “That’s a damn good start,” Gavin said, holding her against him. “I just want you to be happy. I just want you to stay with us.”

  That last sentence frightened her. Sara knew she couldn’t stay with the Sinclairs forever. She had an assignment and would do her very best to fulfill it, but the time would come when she and the Sinclairs would have to say goodbye.

  Pain twisted through her at the thought.

  What should she say? What could she say?

  Sara was determined to focus on this special moment instead of her fears for the future. “Gavin, I don’t know what to say. No one has given me a more meaningful gift. In my entire life.” She pressed her mouth against his.

  “You’re important to my children,” Gavin said. “You’re important to me.”

  “Oh, Gavin,” she said.

  He pressed his finger against her lips. “Let me make love to you,” he said.

  Sara stared into his passion-filled eyes and couldn’t imagine rejecting him. “Yes,” she whispered, and he led her down the hall to his room.

  The way he undressed her made her feel as if she were a gift he was opening. He kissed her forehead and cheek with such tenderness. He touched her with an emotion deeper than the rush and power of passion.

  She stared into his precious eyes and felt such a longing in her soul. She didn’t want to be with him just tonight. She wanted to be with him every night. For the rest of her life.

  Oh, no. She’d gone and done it.

  She’d fallen in love with Gavin Sinclair.

  * * *

  The next morning, Sara took Sam for his last day of preschool before the Christmas break. He’d missed a day last week and seemed more excited than usual. She smiled at him as she drove toward the preschool.

  “You seem happy to go to school today,” she said.

  He nodded. “I’m gonna get a treat,” he said, rubbing his tummy.

  She laughed. “How do you know that?”

  “Cuz I saw you put a piece of chocolate in my snack bag,” he said.

  “Well, aren’t you the observant one?” she said. “We’re going to be doing some fun things during the next few days. We’re going to a tree lighting at the palace tomorrow and we’re also going to decorate Christmas cookies.”

  “Cookies,” he said, glowing with excitement. “I love cookies.”

  “We’ll be decorating them before we eat them, and we’ll want to share some with your father.”

  “Daddy likes cookies, too,” Sam said.

  Sara felt a secret little joy at the knowledge that Sam was starting to smile more often. She knew he would always miss his mother, but she hoped he was starting to have some happiness, too.

  After she dropped him off at preschool, Sara ran errands with Adelaide in tow. Thank goodness the cook and housekeeper was coming this afternoon. There wasn’t much food in the house. She went to the food market and picked up a few necessities that they always seemed to need and use, along with slice-and-bake cookies and colored sugars and frosting for decorating.

  Chuckling to herself, she realized she might be just as excited as Sam about decorating the cookies. It had been a long time since she’d done such a thing. She laid Adelaide down for an abbreviated nap, put the groceries away and took advantage of the quiet time to wrap a few packages.

  Before she knew it, it was time to pick up Sam. Back in the car she went with Adelaide. Poor baby, she’d had to awaken her from her nap. A teacher escorted Sam to the car as Sara took her turn in the pickup line. The woman helped Sam into the car and Sara helped strap him into his safety seat.

  “I just wanted you to know that Sam had a very good day today. He played well with the other children and really seemed to enjoy himself,” she said.

  “I’m glad to hear that,” Sara said, smiling at Sam in approval. “Good for you.”

  “We had cookies and we played an elf game,” he said. “And we made a mistletoe. I got one to bring home.”

  “It sounds wonderful,” Sara said. She turned to the teacher. “Thank you so much. I’ll pass along the good news to Sam’s father. He’ll be very pleased.”

  “We’re happy with his progress. Merry Christmas to all of you,” she said.

  “Merry Christmas,” Sara said, and then she drove them home.

  As soon as they entered the house, Sam pulled a sprig of mistletoe with red and green ribbon from his bag. “We need to hang this up high. People are supposed to kiss each other when they stand under it.”

  “Oh, my goodness. It sounds magical,” she said. “Let me put Adelaide on her blanket in the den. Where do you think we should hang it?”

  Sara placed Adelaide on her blanket and kept one eye on her as Sam bounced with excitement in the hallway.

  “Up there,” he said, pointing to the doorway entrance to the den. “Here,” he said, pushing the mistletoe and a bag with an adhesive strip into her hands.

  “I think I’m going to need a chair for this,” she said and got one from the dining area. “How about you hold the chair while I put up the mistletoe?”

  Sam nodded and gripped the chair with his small hands.

  Sara secured the mistletoe with the adhesive strip, then stepped down. “There we are. It looks good. You did a great job, Sam,” she said and bent down to squeeze his shoulder.

  “Since you’re standing under the mistletoe, somebody’s supposed to kiss you,” he said solemnly.

  “Oh, well, who can do that?” she asked.

  “I can,” he said and gave her the quickest, sweetest little kiss on her cheek.

  Stunned, Sara felt as if her heart would burst into a million pieces of joy. Tears filled her eyes and she blinked them back. “Thank you very much, Sam.” She pulled him into her arms and hugged him for a moment, and he squeezed her back.

  “Can we have lunch now?” he asked.

  “Of course,” she managed, breathlessly laughing at the irony. She felt as if she and Sam had just experienced a monumental moment. She’d been waiting and hoping for him to start accepting affection. Now he could and she was so excited she was trembling. Sam, however, was over it and ready for the next thing. Lunch.

  * * *

  The following day, all the palace employees and contractors were dismissed after lunch. Despite the fire at the cottage and the ensuing uproar, Gavin had solved the glitch that was holding back progress on the project and great strides had been made in the past couple of days. As he drove home, Gavin looked forward to spending the rest of the day with Sara and the kids. Just remembering how her body had felt against his last night aroused him. He couldn’t seem to get enough of her, and it wasn’t just the sex. Something about her just felt as if she fed his soul.

  He rolled his eyes at the romantic notion, but couldn’t deny the truth. The more time he spent with Sara, the more he included her in his picture of the future, and the kids were growing attached to her, too. He thought the attachment w
as reciprocal, but whenever he mentioned the future, she was vague or changed the subject.

  He wished she would trust him with her secrets, but it was almost as if someone had given her a gag order. That part of her situation frustrated the hell out of him, and it was all he could do not to push her for more information. Although he had no idea what her secrets were, except for her missing brother, he liked to think he might be able to help her with her problems. He just needed more information.

  Pulling into the driveway of the new house, he cut the engine and got out. As soon as he opened the door, he was greeted by the scent of freshly baked cookies. He heard the voices of Sam and Sara coming from the kitchen.

  “Good job, Sam. I like what you did with the red, green and blue sugars on that cookie,” Sara said.

  “Can we draw a frog on one of the cookies?” Sam asked.

  Silence followed and he couldn’t help feeling a spurt of amusement. He could just imagine Sara’s expression of dismay.

  “We certainly can try. We’ve got green frosting gel and green sprinkles,” she said.

  Gavin rounded the corner and found Sara and Sam at the table while Adelaide sat in her high chair with white frosting and red sugar on her face and fingers. She was playing in a small dab of frosting on her tray.

  “I can’t wait to see that frog cookie,” Gavin said, and both Sara and Sam looked up at him.

  “I’ll just bet you can’t,” Sara retorted with a smile.

  Sam bolted from the table with a cookie in his hand. “Daddy, look at the cookie I colored.”

  “Looks great. Which one do I get?” Gavin asked.

  Sam looked longingly at the cookie. “I’ll go fix another one for you,” he said and rushed back to the table.

  Gavin met Sara’s gaze. “Baking?”

  “Very loosely,” she said. “As you know, cooking isn’t on my résumé, but Princess Bridget told me about the roll of cookie dough you can buy at the store. Genius,” she said.

  He wondered how she had never heard of the cookies before. What kind of life had prevented her both from cooking and knowing about rolls of cookie dough? Gavin hoped to get the answers to his questions about Sara soon.

  “We would love for you to join us,” she said with a mischievous smile on her face. “Maybe you could draw a frog on a cookie.”

  Just as he was about to refuse, Sam interrupted. “Yeah, Daddy. You should make a frog cookie.”

  Gavin lifted a dark eyebrow. “Okay,” he said. “I’ll give it a shot. Maybe all three of us should make frog cookies.”

  Sam gave a big nod of enthusiasm.

  Chuckling to himself, Gavin washed his hands and sat down at the table. Sara had no idea of her impact on him and the family. He tried drawing a frog on two different cookies. Sara gave it a go and so did Sam.

  Adelaide began to fuss, so Sara wiped the baby’s hands and face and pulled her out of her chair. “Someone’s ready for a nap. Sam, you’ll need to take a rest this afternoon, too.”

  “But what about the cookies?” he asked.

  “They’ll be here when you wake up. Remember we’re going to the palace tree lighting tonight, so both you and Adelaide will probably have a late bedtime.”

  “But what about my frog cookie?” he asked.

  “I’ll put it in a special place, so no one will eat it,” she promised.

  “I do think we should review our attempts at drawing a frog cookie,” Gavin said.

  She smiled at him. “Ah. A competitor at heart. Okay, here’s mine,” she said. “I think it looks more like a blob than a frog.” Adelaide fussed and Sara gave her a jiggle as she studied Sam and Gavin’s artwork. “Sam’s is excellent. Look at the feet and the spots. Good job, Sam,” she said, then looked at Gavin’s frogs. “Nice job with the eyes. You used chocolate sprinkles. Very artistic. Sam must get his artistic talent from his dad. Do you want me to put yours in a special place, Gavin?”

  “Absolutely not,” Gavin said. “I plan to eat both of them.”

  “Daddy,” Sam said, clearly shocked as he watched Gavin gobble both of the cookies. “I thought we were supposed to save them.”

  “I said you could have two,” Sara said. “How many have you eaten?”

  Sam gave a forlorn sigh. “Two,” he said in a low voice.

  “You can have one more later,” Gavin said. “Come on. We’ll read a book before you rest.”

  After he read two short books to Sam, Gavin closed his son’s door behind him and glanced down the hallway. He noticed that the door to Sara’s room was barely cracked open and as he walked closer, he heard the rustle of paper. He gently tapped on her door and pulled it open.

  He saw toys and wrapping paper on the floor. “Do you ever take a break?”

  “I really have to seize the moment with the wrapping. I can’t do it when they’re awake. The good news is I only have a few left to wrap.”

  “I can help,” he said as he sank onto the floor across from her.

  “Not necessary,” she said.

  “They’re my kids. I insist,” he said.

  She blinked at the sharp tone in his voice and he frowned at himself in frustration. “Sorry,” he said. “My wife rarely allowed me to do much with the kids. I think she just felt like she did it better.”

  “Hmm,” Sara said and gave him some wrapping paper. “Perhaps she was a perfectionist,” she said, shrugging. “No matter. The children will be more interested in the gifts than the wrapping paper. Well, Sam will. I can’t say for sure what will interest Adelaide. Anything can be a toy when you’re seven months old.”

  “Speaking of Christmas gifts, I asked you before, but you still haven’t told me what you want for Christmas, Sara.”

  She glanced up at him, surprise widening her eyes. Then she looked down and sighed. “Just a few impossible things, most I can’t name.”

  “To find your brother,” he said.

  She nodded. “I also wouldn’t mind the opportunity to have twenty-four hours of sleep, all at one time. I already told you that,” she said with a wicked smile. He suspected she was trying to keep the conversation light. “What about you? What would you like for Christmas?”

  He paused a half beat. “Answers,” he said.

  She met his gaze and he saw turmoil in her eyes like the ocean during a storm. “I’m sorry. I can’t do that, but someday soon I hope I can.”

  Gavin felt the door close in his face and his frustration ratcheted up another notch.

  * * *

  Hours later, Sara and Gavin fed the children and dressed them for the tree-lighting ceremony. Sara packed an extra diaper and bottle just in case the event went a little long for Adelaide. Gavin had been quiet since they’d finished gift-wrapping this afternoon. She knew he was frustrated. She knew he wanted more. Sara did, too, but she couldn’t see any way around her oath of silence. At least, not in the immediate future.

  Lately, when she’d awakened in the middle of the night, unable to go back to sleep, she’d fantasized about getting a fake passport and running away to try to find Alex, but she would have to leave Tabitha behind and completely alone. And as time wore on, she felt more protective of the children. How hard would it be for her to abruptly leave them?

  Again, as she had done for the past year, she tried to push the disturbing thoughts from her mind and focus on what she could do this moment, and what she could do this moment was to help the Sinclair family experience a little joy and peace this Christmas.

  Gavin drove to the palace where hundreds of cars already lined the sides of the streets. Sara and Gavin had been given a special parking pass so they would be able to park.

  Gavin gave a low whistle. “Big turnout,” he said.

  “I get the impression that the Devereaux family is quite popular with the citizens of Chantaine, so there’s bound to be a lot of excitement when there’s a royal appearance open to the public. The family and the country are fortunate to enjoy their peace and financial stability,” she said, thinking of the
strife Sergenia suffered.

  “You sound pretty passionate about that,” he said. “It makes me wonder where you lived before you came to Chantaine.”

  Sara bit her lip. She should have kept her mouth shut or just found a different way to express herself. The problem was that as each day passed, she felt more like a leaking container, and little bits of her seeped out. “Many people are more aware of the wish for peace at Christmas. I’m no exception,” she said as he pulled into a parking spot. “We’d better find a good spot, so the children can see.”

  In fact, when the palace guard saw their parking pass, he led them to an area reserved for special guests of the royal family. “What an honor,” Sara said.

  Palace staff offered LED candles to the guests with instructions to light them when Prince Stefan gave the sign. “I’m so glad these aren’t real candles,” she admitted to Gavin. “I think we’ve had enough fire in our lives lately. Don’t you?”

  Gavin shot her a sexy glance. “Depends on what kind of fire you’re talking about.”

  Sara felt a rush of physical awareness at the expression on his face. When he gave her that certain look, it was too easy to think of how good it felt to be in his arms and to be pleasured by him. In her mind, she could hear his sexy groans of approval. Heat crept up to her face and she let out a little whoosh of air.

  “Feeling warm?”

  “Suddenly, yes,” she admitted as she tried to get her hormones under control. “Oh, look,” she said. “Here comes the royal family.”

  Murmurs of excitement rolled through the crowd and Sara could feel the affection the citizens had for the royal family. Prince Stefan stepped forward. “Greetings to the wonderful citizens of Chantaine.” The crowd erupted in applause.

  “Thank you for joining us for the lighting of the palace Christmas tree. This season we are especially aware of our wish for hope, love and peace for the entire world. We are grateful for the peace our country continues to experience, and we are humbled by the commitment of the citizens of Chantaine to pursue peace and service here and throughout the world. You serve as a beacon of light to the rest of the world.”