Forgotten

by Sarah J. Pepper

  “You like how the wind feels on your skin?” he asked with intense curiosity.

  I replied with a lazy nod. Jace clicked a button, and the car’s roof unfolded. Wind oscillated around me. We rode in silence while I rethought my strategy to figure out what he wanted with me. I’d come to terms with what Hector suggested. Befriend him, put on my detective hat, and figure out his plan. Horns honked as we sped out of town. The Sunday afternoon traffic wasn’t busy like it would be Monday morning. I lost myself in the wind, trying not to notice that goose bumps that spread onto my arms when Jace leaned on the arm rest.

  The man engulfed in flames rushed over to me. He never opened his mouth, but I still heard his screams in my mind. His misery sliced through me like it was my own when he lifted my frail body in his arms. My life was draining into death’s embrace.

  A giant, red-headed man appeared. But it was too late; the injured Butcher was gone– vanished out of thin air when he touched another man appeared beside him. Our gaze locked before they vanished.

  I looked up at the giant man. His penance for past sins was my sister’s doing, not mine. But, we both knew the Cutter would never have uttered a single word to him about our past if I hadn’t involved us. I knew regret erupted inside him.

  “Our past is not forgotten, but has been long forgiven, Reaper.”

  He snorted, refusing to believe me. He grabbed the shoulder of the man holding me. Within the blink of an eye, I was lying on the ground outside the burning building. My feet brushed against the ground as my savior held me in his warm arms.

  “Tell that to your sister, she won’t be particularly pleased to be on this side of her scissors. You smell like death already,” he snorted, and then vanished.

  The man gently lowered me to the ground. “I’ve never asked anything from you, until now. Please, grant me what my heart most desires.”

  I couldn’t swallow. The giant man in my vision was Marco. However, I wasn’t young like I’d been in my last vision; I was elderly and dying. I tried to sequence my visions so I could figure out what would happen on the day of my death. How had Marco not aged? And how could I sense another person’s feelings?

  When Ashwick’s horizon was in his rearview mirror, Jace hummed a tune under his breath. It was soft and sweet. The melody was lively yet had an unimaginable calming effect.

  “My friend Deino wrote it,” Jace whispered, like he wasn’t sure if he wanted me to hear. Her name danced off his tongue. I knew he loved her; that wasn’t difficult to hear. “She had a way of fumbling words in order to change their meaning.”

  Trying not to sound too eager to learn more about him, I prodded a bit. “Did she leave you?”

  His shoulders stiffened. I immediately tried to ease the situation. “I don’t mean to pry into your personal life, but you mentioned her the other day, at the bowling alley. You said you were looking for her?”

  He scoffed, “It’s been a long, drawn-out game of cat and mouse between her and me.”

  “Why do you insist on looking for her, if she doesn’t want to be found?” I asked.

  “She does,” he replied soberly. “She just doesn’t know it yet.”

  “Severe case of amnesia?” I asked jokingly.

  “Something like that,” he answered stiffly.

  We drove in silence, for what seemed like half an hour. Deciding that he’d take whatever I said the wrong way I kept my mouth shut. The smells of pasture blocked out the perpetual exhaust I was used to breathing in town.

  “Have you ever seen the sunset?” he asked.

  I jumped in my seat when he broke the silence. He snickered at my reaction, and then asked it again.

  “Did you forget I’m blind?”

  “You’re not blind. Perhaps your doctors believe it, but in my world, you’re merely vision impaired.”

  It was my turn to laugh. He had no idea just how vision impaired I was. “Oh, really?”

  “Your blindness isn’t a life sentence of pure darkness, but then again you don’t see just darkness like everyone else?” he said and traced his finger up my arm. “The day you lent me your walking stick –”

  “Stole my walking stick,” I corrected and placed my hands into my lap even though the touch of his finger made me want to roll up against him rather than lean away.

  “You managed to wander about. It wasn’t as skilled as I’d seen before, but you reacted to your surroundings better than the true blind would have. You see life’s shadows. Tell me I’m wrong.”

  I couldn’t, but that didn’t mean I had to admit anything, either. He put the car into park. The light on the horizon was a couple hours from setting, so I hoped he didn’t want to chit-chat until the day gave way to night.

  “You answer a question of mine, and I’ll answer one of yours,” I said.

  “I thought we weren’t playing games.”

  “We’re not. Telling the truth isn’t a game.”

  He chuckled, like it could be as fun as any other game he’d play with a girl. I tried not to think about how many other girls he surely “played with” before he laid eyes on me. He moved charismatically around to the passenger side of the car. He knew he had my attention and figured I’d do anything he wanted now that he had me alone. I wasn’t sure he was wrong.

  “You honestly believe that you can handle the truth?” he said, while walking around the car. “I have my doubts, little girl.”

  It was infuriating when he implied I was some kind of a child. We had to be close to the same age! Yes, I wanted the truth, not half answered questions. And I most certainly didn’t want anyone who treated me like a child. What was it that he called me - A little girl? If I was a little girl, then I’d throw a tantrum to be proud of. I timed it so the door slammed into his shins when he was almost to my side. Not enough to hurt him, but enough to give him the message.

  “There are times that it’s maddening that you’re mostly human,” he jeered. “Because these games you say you aren’t playing, are exasperating. It makes me want to break the Oath and strangle you myself!”

  I stood and then moved out of the way for him to close the door. Heat emitted from around him. I half expected to see flames dancing from his skin like they did in my dreams, but he’d have to be shirtless and hold unnatural powers – or I’d have to be insane.

  “But you say you aren’t playing games with me, so I won’t have to worry about playing them either,” he grunted and slammed the door shut. He moved behind me, picked me up, and much to my protest, he carried me in front of the car. His hands were fiery hot. He dropped me on the hood. My backside slammed into the hard, searing metal. I winced but managed not to let a whimper slip.

  “Manners are a lost art, don’t you think?” he scoffed.

  I glared up at his white shape. “What are you, if not human?”

  He slammed his fists on either side of me. Jace’s frustration eclipsed my spite. He bent forward, so there were only inches between his face and mine. “Why do you insist on claiming only one sister, Gwyneth?”

  “Because, I do,” I said, instantly furious that he brought my family back into the picture. I pushed his chest trying to create some distance between us without backing down. He didn’t move an inch, a testament to his stubbornness. “Why do you pretend I’m the one who’s obsessive when it’s clearly the other way around?”

  “Why do you move away, when you want to lean closer?”

  “Like I’m leaning away now?” I said defiantly, sitting up straighter. Our faces were inches apart.

  “Why do you act the opposite of how you feel?”

  I frowned, and crossed my arms. Because, I don’t trust you – or myself. “I think with my head, not my heart, Jace. Maybe you should take a page from my book.”

  “Says the fool,” he said, and reached for my chin like he was going to try to kiss me or something - just as ridiculous given our intense argument.

  I smacked his hand away, which stung the moment our skin touched; I pretended not to noti
ce that his anger seemed to crawl onto my body. “Foolishness is when people don’t think logically.”

  “It’s done you a bit of good in the seventeen years of your life. How’s foster care? I’m surprised the Thompsons took you in with your record of discipline.” When I didn’t respond, he continued. “Do you plan on playing the ‘my family got murdered, bit’ forever, or are you going to grow up sometime soon and accept your destiny?”

  I slapped him across the face with as much force as I could muster. He snickered when I tried to backhand him a second time. He gripped my wrist and shoved it against the car’s roof. My hand burned from touching the metal, but my hands didn’t blister, even though they should have, considering how long the engine was on. I fought him; he effortlessly pinned me to the car top. I shoved my knee into his stomach. He backed off, but not for long. I sat up and was hit with a heat wave that radiated off of him.

  “Perhaps it’s not even the whole murdered deal that bothers you so much, Gwyneth. Maybe it’s the knowledge of knowing a good life was stolen from you, and now you’re wasting away in this sad –”

  “Like you would know what it’s like to lose someone you love?” I sneered.

  “Like you even knew your biological parents?” Jace said. He leaned in closer and his voice rose. His seemed to take up more space than his body encompassed as he towered over me. I fell back onto my elbows. They burned, but healed quickly, impossibly quickly. “Like you even knew Lily? They could’ve been horrible people, Gwyneth. You’ve made them out to be this great loving family so you didn’t have to deal with reality.”

  “What happened with Deino?” I taunted as boldly as I could, lying on the roof of his car. “You broke her heart, and were surprised she left you hanging?”

  “She broke mine!” Jace shouted, and pushed off the hood.

  He pulled at his hair like he wanted to rip it out. My skin burned and tingled as his anger grew. I braced myself, unsure of what he’d do if his control vanished. I sat up, and started to slide off the car. I hit a nerve; his temper was erupting. I wanted to be on my own two feet when he exploded. His figure reformed, growing bright. The air became hot around him. An image of his dark chocolate brown eyes formed in my mind.

  “Reborn as what I once was?” I asked, tracing his thumb since he refused to return my gaze. Smoke rose around us. It seeped over the wheat grass, while every building around us went up in flames.

  “Playing with your fate is dangerous.” His voice burned, apologetically. “But I can feel the life leaving your body. I’ve never asked for you to grant me anything, dearest. Grant me this.”

  I caught myself falling forward, as the older woman I was in the vision. I leaned in closer to the young man with haunting dark eyes. In reality, I stumbled once my feet touched the ground. Unable to stand on my own, I leaned against the car. I refused to look at Jace until my breathing returned. My soul ached. Not like how it was scorn in visions before, but like the heartache of a lover’s regret.

  “…she left me, Gwyneth!” Jace said, continuing with his rant that had been interrupted by my vision. “Not the other way around. I’ve spent the better part of my life searching for her.”

  I cleared my throat, trying to regain my place in the conversation before the vision. I wanted to stand on my own two feet, but my nerves were jumping. My adrenaline was pumping from my fight with Jace; my heart was racing from the vision.

  “Why look for someone who doesn’t want to be found?” I asked, hoping he didn’t notice the waver in my voice.

  “She begged me to find her,” he admitted.

  I rubbed my forehead, trying to figure out the riddle he presented. “What happened, Jace?”

  “Analee’s horde will come for me if I tell you everything, you know that, Gwyneth,” he said with growing frustration.

  A horde of ghostly white warriors flickered in my mind. Their eyes were empty holes. Their mouths were sewn shut, but it didn’t silence their cries. The forgotten past hacked a part of my soul while I beat on the wooden coffin.

  My soul may as well have just been divided, because my heart hurt like a part of my very being just died. The vision was over in seconds, but I was shaken. It felt like I’d been buried alive in this last vision. In the one just a moment before, I had been dying in the arms of someone I’d love who’d eventually kill me. The blood drained from my face as I tried to figure out what was going on between Jace and me. I didn’t understand what he talked about or his logic. I wanted to run; I wanted to hide. I was in the middle of nowhere, with a person who’s obsession with me had reached unsafe levels.

  “…my temper gets the best of me sometimes. I should have shielded it from you,” Jace said, as he stroked my arm while I trembled on the car’s roof.

  “It wasn’t that,” I said, and immediately wished I wouldn’t have said anything. I knew it spiked his curiosity. As always, he deemed my reactions to him, and everything else, as important. His interest in me had always become profound after I’d witnessed a vision. Pretending like I was simply frustrated with his answer, I fought to remember what Jace and I were talking about.

  It didn’t matter, I thought bitterly. In the last dream he walked away. My dreams were beginning to match my reality – prince charming didn’t exist. I pushed him away and then put my head between my knees until I remembered why I’d agreed to come with him in the first place.

  “You think I have two sisters,” I said, grasping onto the lunatic’s logic once I let myself calm down. “You believe I’m this Deino chick, so, how do you prove it?”

  “I fix your eyes,” he whispered. He acted like he was giving me some great gift or letting me in on some secret when in fact, his statement only reinforced my belief he was a total nut-job.

  Gripping my hair into my fists, I was tempted to pull it out. He knew I desperately wanted to see, which wouldn’t have been all that hard to guess, but he offered me this gift of sight, like he believed he could do it.

  “Jace, nothing’s wrong with my eyes, not physically,” I said and let go of my hair. I looked up at him and hoped he’d see my acceptance of my handicap instead of the lie hiding my eyes. “The trauma from my family’s deaths forbids me to see anything. The doctors say it’s some kind of coping mechanism.”

  “So you’ll turn down the only person who can heal you?” You’d rather wallow in your own self pity than take a chance for an actual meaningful life?”

  I crossed my arms and weighed my options. “Fine, let’s pretend I’ve lost my mind, and I believe you. What’s the cost?”

  He took a deep breath. “I believe no harm will come to you. However, if you’re simply human, and I try to heal you, you will die.”

  “So death and sight are on the table, are they?” I scoffed and slid off the roof. I aimlessly wandered around in circles. “Sorry, pal, but I’d rather live a long, happy, dark life.”

  “Liar.” He grabbed my arm, stopping me.

  “I do just fine without my eyes. Seeing isn’t important” I lied, looking to the horizon which just happened to be the exact opposite direction of his glowing face. I wished I could see the reds, yellows, and oranges, like I had in the vision just moments before.

  “If sight isn’t enough, then what is?” he asked and forced me to face him. His calloused hand gently stroked my cheek. He refused to speak again until I gave in and looked at him. “I’ll do anything if you let me open your eyes to a world bigger than black and white… more than color… more than anything a human can see.”

  I took a deep breath, and blew it out slowly. “You seem to know a lot about me.”

  I brought my hand up to my face. I skimmed his hand that was cupping my face as I looked back at the horizon before I let it fall away.

  “You know more about me than you could have found on the internet. My foster records are sealed so either you broke into my case manager’s building, or hacked Ida’s system remotely. But I don’t care how you found me. I don’t know what you want with me, but it’s no
t important if we can strike a deal. I’ll let you fix my eyes,” I said, figuring there wasn’t anything he could do that would make me any less blind. And if my death meant I’d find answers about my past, then I’d take it. “I want you to investigate someone for me.”

  “Who?”

  “Find the person who murdered my parents and my sister.”

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  It wasn’t long after I fell asleep that I was slammed into a nightmare. I begged my head to quit pounding, while gripping the sand with my hands. It ground into my knees. I struggled to breathe. Only the cold night air greeted me. No warm hands rubbed my back. I was alone. My head felt like it was erupting; the harder I tried to calm myself the worse it became. The longer I stayed utterly still, the more my body disagreed with me. My lungs burned. I tried to open my eyes to look for Jace, but acid seemed to reside in my eyes instead of tears. My muscles felt like they were melting off my bones. My stomach leapt into my throat.