Play Me

by Ivy Knight

  He gets most of it clean, but when he tries to clean the last blood clot, I jerk my hand back. I examine the area and find a shard of glass digging in between the knuckles of my pinky and ring finger.

  "I'll take it out," Kai volunteers before I can even try. I nod and inch my hand closer to him. Using a pair of tweezers, he pulls the piece of glass out and immediately starts to wrap my hand with a bandage.

  Once he's done, he stands up saying, "I think we need to talk."

  "I-"

  "Or, you can just listen," he doesn't let me talk. I bite down on my bottom lip and agree. He extends his hand out indicating me to take it. My eyes follow his arm up to his face. Reading the expression on my face, he continues, "I'm gonna show you something."

  Without a question, I enclose my hand with his. His hands rough like mine, feel nothing out of the ordinary. Getting up from my bed, we walk into Kai's room.

  This time though, his room is lit. Everything is clear, his king-sized bed, maroon walls and the black accents give off a gloomy feeling, yet that is nothing compared to the stacks of canvases lying in the lobby of his room. Dozens of canvases fill the room. All various sizes, some still under process while others seem like they're the most expensive paintings at an auction.

  As I roam around eyeing the different canvases in the room, Kai stays back just watching me from afar. I don't let that bother me and continue on searching for the one. All of them are magnificent, but don't speak to me like I want them to. They don't reflect me or him, but I know there's going to be one. One that will feel like a slap to the face. The truth of his sorrows.

  "Why am I here?" I question when I can't find what I'm looking for.

  "You see these paintings, right?"

  "Yeah."

  "Well, look at something else."

  Ignoring my first instinct to question what he means, I think.

  Look at something else.

  Rotating my head, I look around his room again. The bed, the wall, the bathroom, the main door, paintings, balcony door and his desk.

  My eyes stop at the desk. Slowly, I make my way to the desk. My fingers glide across the dark wood and my eyes brush past the bookshelf hanging over top. Tilting my head, I read the spines of the books.

  Every title seems to be of horror and thriller genre and none stand out. I read through them again and find nothing special.

  It has to be here.

  Instead of looking at the books themselves, this time, I decide to look at the shelf they're on. The shelves are covered in dust expect for one part. I swipe the tip of my finger on the surface, but no dust is picked up.

  This is it.

  I pull the book off the shelf and examine the cover. The book itself is rectangular with a hard cover supporting it. There's no exotic design to the cover just plain black with a bumpy texture.

  The back resting on the palm of my left hand I open the cover. A sketch of The Black Killers tattoo meets my eyes. It's mesmerizing, every line looks measured and every stroke perfected with different shades of grey.

  "I drew that when I moved here," Kai acknowledges closing the distance between us.

  "It's beautiful. How'd you come up with it?" I look at him standing only a couple of feet away from me.

  "A knight is what I was and still am, but I will never stoop to my brother's level. The chains are our limits," he words.

  I give him a slight nod taking in the information. Going back to the book, I flip through the pages admiring every piece of art he has ever drawn. I feel Kai's presence directly behind me, but I don't let that distract me as I look through the sketches.

  There are pictures of Lucy, Nick, Alec, and Cole. Other pictures that are more figurative to understand show up. The one's he finds comfortable, he shares the stories of.

  "This is the last one," Kai interrupts my concentration as I flip the page.

  "Okay," I sigh heavily before looking at the picture. I recognize the picture. "This... it's the same picture in the lobby, but just the part in the boys eyes."

  I turn around to face Kai.

  "The picture hung in the lobby where there's a guy smiling with a drink in his hand. There's also a boy there, the only one with a frown on his face. In that boy's eyes, there's a picture and this is exactly the same," I recall.

  "This guy though, it's Nick and the girl - the girl is...," I quiet down as I come to the realization.

  "Kai, who is this girl?" My eyes fill with tears as a horrid memory flashes in front of my eyes. If I'm correct, this is the first time I begged Nick to stop. The first time I succumbed to his demands.

  "Let's sit down," Kai says taking the book from my hands. We both walk over to his bed and take a seat.

  I watch as he silently admires his drawing, feeling his emotions.

  "As you know, I wasn't born or raised here, and Chicago is not what turned me into who I am today. Nick did. This picture represents the first time I truly ever felt helpless."

  Kai takes a deep breath and prepares his next words.

  "Rivalry is common in gangs, but Nick took revenge to a whole new level by not only kidnapping The White Dragon's only daughter, but also by torturing, manipulating and abusing her every single day. I was fifteen then and so was she. I could hear her scream and cry, but she would never beg for him to stop. Before that, I had never heard anyone scream in so much agony. It was like I could feel her pain in my own bones whenever I heard her scream."

  "I knew why he wanted revenge, but I didn't know why he didn't stop once he got what he wanted. Once, when Nick came upstairs, I asked him and he told me that her screams were the sound of our mother's laughter. He was twisted and sick, his words made my stomach churn. I don't know how he ended up the way he is, but I know that my mother would never approve of what Nick was doing and neither would my father."

  "Whenever Nick wasn't home, I would go downstairs to where she was being held and I would leave water, give her a blanket or ice her bruises. I only did that when she was asleep, though. I was afraid that Nick would make her tell him what was going on. But that didn't work, Nick found out about what I was doing and he made my life hell. Unlike her bruises, which were both internal and external, he only gave me internal ones. He broke me and reconstructed me into who I am today, but even throughout that, he could never make me like him. Secrets always have a way of getting out and when I found out that he was the one who got my father assassinated to gain his position as the leader, the only thing holding me back was the girl."

  "I wanted to help her, get her out of his hold, but he got a hold of her before I could. He reached into the deepest parts of her mind and heart. Everything keeping her from breaking; he ripped it to shreds and made her into what he wanted. Once she died in a house fire, I left and started here."

  I remember the water being there sometimes when I'd wake up. I just assumed that Nick grew a heart, but I guess I was wrong. It was Kai. Nick truly doesn't have a heart. It's unbelievable, that he killed his own father for selfish purposes.

  "Why are you telling me this?"

  "I don't know," Kai says. "I think it's because I'm trying to say that even in the worst of situations, you should never give up. That girl, she might have given in to Nick's demands, but she never gave up hope. Hence, she was everything I aspired to be. And I think that you are just as strong as her. You've suffered through a lot, but I know that even if you're tempted to end everything, you won't. You have something bigger to live for and we both know that. You're not alone, Summer. You're a part of this gang and may even be carrying a part of me inside of you. Whatever happens in the pregnancy results tomorrow, nothing changes. You have complete control as to what you decide to do."

  "But where does that leave us?" I question.

  "We're partners, Summer. Family, if you decide to stay after your end of the deal is fulfilled, but there will never be a we."

  "You said that it never worked out between you and Lucy, why?"

  "She learned that I didn't have a heart."
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br />   "That's debatable," I state as I put my left hand over his chest feeling the beat of his heart. As we sit there in pure silence, the events of the night in Italy play through my mind.

  I inch closer to him as tears wash down my cheeks. Boldly, I lean in connecting our lips and Kai moves in sync. His soft lips numb my thoughts and his hand finds a spot on my neck pulling my closer. With all my strength, I convince myself to pull away.

  Breathing through my mouth, I take in the feeling I've craved for far too long.

  "Thank you."

  We sit there. His hand still on my neck, I close my eyes. Biting down on my bottom lip I take in the taste of our kiss.

  I finally got what I've wanted.

  His weakness.

  ...♛...

  "Summer and Kai," Lilly calls. Kai and I both get up and head into her office.

  Last night, after our kiss, we slept together. None of us had to say anything to understand what we wanted, so we just kind of did it. And it was the best decision I made in the longest time. I haven't had that good of a sleep in almost weeks.

  Kai called Lilly this morning and asked if we could come to the hospital to get a pregnancy test done. She agreed which only made us more anxious.

  I also found out that Cole is in the hospital. When Nick attacked Lucy, Cole was trying to protect her. He ended up getting shot in the leg and cracking his skull. Alec found Cole where Lucy was staying and brought him to the hospital because Lilly said she couldn't help Cole with the limited equipment at the house.

  Sitting in front of Lilly, we wait for her to tell us the results of the tests.

  "So, the results are in and unfortunately, I have to say that the reports came out negative. You are not pregnant, Summer. As far as the change in appetite and dizziness goes, it's side effects of the swelling in your brain. This is due to you almost drowning. Your brain didn't get the required amount of oxygen for a longer period of time. Kai, I've written down some medication to help with that and I'm sure you don't mind getting them for Summer."

  Kai takes the small piece of paper from Lilly's hand and heads out of the office.

  "Summer?"

  "Yeah?"

  "Do you have history in abortion?"

  "Yes, I do."

  "If you did have unprotected sex with Kai, there should have been no reason for you to not be pregnant. I can't tell as to what went wrong using the tests we've done so far, but I need to let you know, that in the near future, when you are trying to conceive, it'll be difficult. I think we should do more tests and get answers as to what's wrong."

  I clear my throat.

  "The abortion wasn't my choice, Lilly. I was pregnant and then I woke up being told that I wasn't anymore. They never told me what happened or if anything went wrong. If something did go wrong, I'd like to stay away from it for now. It's best for what I have planned. Thank you for everything, though."

  "Everything's up to you, Summer and you're welcome."

  I get up from my chair and head out to the bathroom. I look at myself as tears stream down my face.

  How did I not know? I should've known that Nick would do something. After the abortion, I should've known that there are side effects.

  You wanted that baby, Summer. And after the abortion, you wanted to forget.

  I turn on the tap and rinse my face. Wiping it dry with my sleeve, I pull out my phone. What's done is done. I can't mourn over what could've been. All I can do and will do now is continue on with my plan and fulfill my deal with Kai.

  "Hey, Alessio?"

  "Sì, Estate. Quello che ha fatto ti ricordi di me, oggi?"

  "Alessio, no time to joke around. You know I don't know Italian."

  I hear him chuckle, but he clears his throat and manages to speak, "Sorry, what can I do for you?"

  "I need a favour."

  "What is it?"

  Chapter 39

  "So, what's up with you and Kai?" Dakota asks.

  "What do you mean?" I ask taking a sip of my coffee. It's been three days since Kai and I found out that my symptoms of pregnancy were just a false alarm.

  Cole is still recovering in the hospital and should be home tomorrow. Dakota, Alec's girlfriend and Amelia, Alec's sister both arrived two days ago from a long-term mission they were on.

  At first, I wasn't in the mood to get acquainted with any of them, but they have quite persuasive personalities. Soon, I learned that they're also bearable company.

  Amelia's more of a type to hide her pain under a smile and killer looks while Dakota is straight up without a single filter. I don't know which one of them I prefer more, but all I know is, it's been relieving to just be around people who don't carry dicks between their legs.

  "You know, the way you look at each other, avoid any small talk, disappear into the same room at night and walk out in the morning like you didn't just spend the night together?"

  "Well, before you guys arrived, Kai and I thought that I was pregnant with his child. Luckily, it was just a scare, but since then, things have been excessively formal between us. I guess we just know or feel too much to say anything. We both know what we want and know that we can't get it, so we just pretend to be unaware. I guess it's just easier that way."

  "And what is it you both want?" Amelia questions adjusting her dirty blonde hair to settle behind her shoulders.

  "For me to stay."

  "And do you want to?"

  "Stay?" I inquire.

  "Yeah. After your deal is done, do you think there's a chance you'll stay?"

  "I don't know," I admit. "I know I should say no, but at this point, I don't know what I'll want by the end of everything."

  "By the looks of it, I don't think you'll have to face anything too soon. Alec said that Nick hasn't been spotted since he shot Kai."

  "That's odd."

  "You didn't know?" Dakota's forehead wrinkles in confusion.

  "No, they haven't told me anything. They said if I know about what's happening, I'll force myself out of bedrest and start training which honestly doesn't sound so bad now. At first, they didn't let me train because they thought I was pregnant, but now they really have no excuse."

  "They just want you to heal, Summer. Nick is... spontaneous. Who knows what he'll do and when. You saw him in action that night when you tried going undercover, remember? He's too smart, he knew exactly who you were."

  "I guess, but the more I stay away from practicing, the more vulnerable I feel."

  "I bet a hundred dollars that if we got attacked right now-" Dakota eyes the small cafe and leans in- "you'd get us out in a under a minute."

  "That's debatable," I shrug, finishing the last bit of my muffin. "So, what are we doing now?"

  "It's only ten and I was thinking that we go shopping and then meet the guys out for dinner before movie night, back at the house."

  "I can't believe you guys got them to agree to dinner and movie night," I exaggerate getting up from my seat.

  "This is kind of like protocol. Every time Dakota and I return home, we have to do something as a family because one day, only one of us might return or maybe none of us," Amelia explains calmly.

  "I'll drive," Dakota volunteers before I can enter the driver's seat. I throw the keys at her direction and she catches them with ease. We exchange spots and enter the car.

  "Mall?"

  "Sure," Amelia and I speak in unison.

  "How's Cole doing? He looks a bit stressed even at the hospital?"

  "I think he blames himself for Lucy's death. But considering something like this hasn't happened for the first time with him, I'm unsure. I haven't talked to him at the hospital."

  "Bumpy relationship?"

  "I guess," I confess. "Enough about me, tell me about you guys. What mission were you on?"

  "We were trying to keep an eye on Nick in Los Angeles, but clearly failed when he came to Chicago and we had no idea. We stayed a little longer to find out why he came to Chicago and gather any other information we could."

&n
bsp; "Did you work with him closely?"

  "I got a position in one of the clubs he often visits. The closest I got was to having sex, but even under the effects of alcohol, he wouldn't say shit," Amelia huffs.

  "Sounds like him," I mumble under my breath.

  "What?"

  "Nothing."

  "Oh, but we did come to one conclusion."

  "What's that?"

  "Nick can't be working alone. Yeah, he's a couple of years older and a bit more experienced than us, but by the way he presents himself and is so sure of everything he does, it seems that someone is guiding him through everything."

  "That and his records show that he deposits money to an unknown account every month. All of his illegal trades are done in cash, so why would he transfer money through a bank for a person who's not related to any of his legal businesses?" Dakota adds.

  "Have you tried to figure out who this person could be?"

  "Yes, but we haven't gotten much. The information is too vague to help us determine anything. We tried to figure out who the bank belongs to, but there's nothing we could access. The only thing we know for sure is that the money in the bank is never taken out and when it is, the bank is left with nothing."

  "Well how much money does Nick deposit?"

  "A million every month."

  "Well then, I don't know what to say except for everyone screws up, he will too. We just have to be aware of everything and the guys have other people on the case for now, so let’s just forget about it. If I'm actually being forced to not work, I'd like to use it to my advantage for at least one day."

  "That's okay with me," Amelia chirps.

  "Sounds great," Dakota agrees as she turns left into a parking spot.

  "Wait, what are we even buying?" I query.

  "Prom is coming up," Amelia smirks.

  "But you don't even go to school."

  "But you do," Dakota and Amelia speak in unison.

  "Guys, I don't think I'll even be going."

  "Why not?"

  "Endless possibilities like I'm going to be dead, not here, kidnapped or even as worse as won't have a date."