Coletti Warlords: Reality Bites

by Gail Koger

  He grinned. “Another challenge?”

  A ropy pink tentacle suddenly wrapped around Jaylan’s neck, and he went airborne.

  “Holy Mother of God!” Floating overhead was a mutant octopus with wings. The monstrosity was trying to eat my guy. I pulled my pistol. It was a dead whatever. Dammit, I couldn’t get a clear shot. It kept bobbing up and down, throwing Jaylan this way and that.

  Jaylan pried at the tentacle choking him, and every time it tried to take a bite out of him, he’d punched the crap out of the thing’s eye. “Shoot the eye.”

  “I’ll hit you.”

  “Shoot it before it crushes my neck.”

  “Okay, but no whining if you get a bullet hole or two.” I fired twice. One bullet hit the freak above the eye. The other struck the tentacle clutching Jaylan’s throat. It slipped off him and hung limply.

  Jaylan agilely avoided the mutant’s snapping jaws. Bracing his feet against its skull, he yanked his laser pistol from the holster and fired repeatedly. Severed tentacles fell into the swamp.

  What, no sword? “Oh lookie, you do know how to use a laser pistol.”

  His fangs bared in a fierce snarl, he shot it dead in the eye.

  With a banshee-like wail, the creature released Jaylan, and he hit the water with a loud splash.

  Images flashed across my mind. I’ll be damned. The mutant octopus was full of air bladders. No wonder it could float. I ducked the flailing tentacles and emptied my gun into the quivering pink flesh.

  A series of loud pops sounded as the bladders ruptured. The monster deflated rapidly, zooming wildly over the swamp before crashing into a tree. Barely thirty seconds later, its carcass was covered by thousands of the armored insects.

  Four sets of serrated pinchers rose out of the slimy muck.

  I slid another clip into my gun and yelled mentally, “Get out of the water. Now!”

  Jaylan appeared on the island, covered in red slime. He took two staggering steps before collapsing under the weight of the wiggling horde of eggs.

  “Oh my God!” I rushed toward him, fear knotting my chest.

  “Stay. Back.” Jaylan tapped an icon on his bracelet. A bright green glow enveloped him, and presto, the slimy spider eggs were incinerated. He sucked in a rasping breath.

  “Don’t you dare get dead on me.”

  His smile was all predator. “Colettis are very hard to kill.”

  The knot in my chest loosened. They were almost impossible to kill. “How do we get out of this hellhole?”

  “We teleport.” Fatigue lining his face, Jaylan rose to his feet and held out his hand.

  Ignoring it, I mentally scanned his body. He had some new bruises, but his energy levels were dangerously low. “You look like shit. Why don’t you take a short break and eat something. I have some power bars, or do you need blood?”

  Jaylan bristled. “I’m not a weak human.”

  “No. You’re a cranky, testosterone-driven moron who refuses to admit to any kind of weakness. So, what’s it gonna be? Food or blood?”

  With a growl of aggression, Jaylan snapped, “I am a warlord. No one dictates to me, except the Overlord or Voss.”

  “Oh, you’re gonna listen to me.”

  He bared his teeth. “Am I?”

  “Yup, because I’m the sane one.” I laughed at his incredulous expression. “Teleporting takes a great deal of energy. Correct?”

  “Yes.”

  “You’ve teleported us over what? A hundred miles?”

  “Two hundred.”

  “Isn’t it your prime directive to protect your mate? Not accidently impale her on a tree?”

  Jaylan ran a weary hand over his face. “Food.”

  “Chocolate or raspberry?”

  He smiled. A truly evil smile. “Chocolate.”

  I handed Jaylan one of my coveted bars. “Remember. Karma’s a bitch.”

  My eyes widened when he practically inhaled it. I gave him another one.

  Jaylan ripped the foil off and took a big bite. “This isn’t chocolate.”

  “Nope. Raspberry. Fruit’s good for you.”

  “Is it?”

  Unease trickled down my spine. My psychic senses had been on overload since we teleported down, but I knew something really nasty was headed our way. I pulled my backpack on. “Break’s over.”

  Jaylan wrapped his arms around me and teleported.

  Chapter Seven

  An eternity later, we appeared next to the burned-out shell of a building. The charred metal rose eerily from the scorched sand. I hurried inside, happy for the chance to get out of the sun. “I thought Gansu was uninhabited?”

  “It is. The Alliance established this outpost during the Great War.”

  “And the Overlord came along and blew it all to hell?”

  “Yes.” Lines of strain bracketed Jaylan’s mouth.

  The poor guy was visibly exhausted. He must have teleported us over eight hundred miles. Add in the heat and humidity, and I was surprised he could still stand.

  Wiping the sweat out of my eyes, I collapsed on a bent piece of steel. “Another hour in that swamp, and I’d have been sprouting mold.”

  Jaylan plucked dead bugs from my hair. “I am honored to have you as my mate.”

  One look at his shuttered expression, and alarm flared to life. “Is there something you’re not telling me? Like we’re marooned on this hellhole? Forever?”

  Jaylan’s left eyebrow rose in surprise. “No. My warriors will retrieve us in two days.”

  The tension drained from my muscles. “Okay. I’ll bite. Why are you honored to have me as your mate?”

  “Your battle skills are exceptional for a female.”

  I rolled my eyes. He just had to go and spoil it. “Thanks.”

  “Only a few have killed a Skardu. It’s an extremely difficult feat.”

  “You talking about the mutant octopus or the killer insects?”

  “The octopus.”

  I shrugged. “It was a team effort, sweet cheeks. We’re partners. You save my ass. I save yours. It’s just the way it works.”

  A pleased smile curved his mouth. “Partners?”

  “Yup.” I patted my makeshift bench. “Take a load off.”

  Jaylan sank down beside me. Through a broken window, we both watched the setting sun turn the lavender sky a glowing orange. The sand glittered like a million diamonds. In the distance, lightning bolts pulsed an incandescent green in the towering banks of clouds that carpeted the swamp.

  A shudder shook me. The thought of spending a night in that monster-infested hell gave me the heebie-jeebies. I stroked Jaylan’s knee, sending him pulses of healing energy. “Sugar, not that I’m complaining—okay, I am—but your idea of a honeymoon sucks. I want a do-over.”

  A bark of laughter escaped him. “Do you?”

  “Yep. I want to go somewhere with a beach and cool ocean breezes.”

  “I think that can be arranged.”

  “Good.” I mentally scanned the area. Huh? That was kind of weird. “I can’t sense any mutant freaks. What’s up with that?”

  “The Alliance treated the sand with Bo Rai. It repels all indigenous life forms.”

  “So, we don’t have to worry about anything nasty trying to eat us?”

  “We do not.”

  “Hallelujah!” Jaylan caressed the nape of my neck, sending little tremors of lust zinging through me. God, I loved his touch. Way too much. Honey bunny was probably too tired for anything but cuddling. “Where’s a good place to set up camp?”

  He tapped an icon on his bracelet. A three-dimensional image of the base materialized in midair. Jaylan pointed to the levels below ground. “After the Alliance left, Zarek came back and built an underground installation to monitor this section of space.”

  “And the devious Overlord put it in the last place they would think to look.”

  “Exactly.”

  “Please tell me it has a bed and a shower?”

  “It does.”


  “You’re definitely a keeper.” I brushed my lips over his.

  His mouth captured mine in a long, voracious kiss.

  Need twisted inside me as his callused palms caressed my breasts. The man could make a nun come.

  The mental picture of a woman with a long, lizardlike tongue giving Jaylan oral sex popped into my mind. I broke our kiss. “Are you kidding me? You’re thinking about another woman?”

  His fingers teased my nipples. “A Coletti’s anatomy is different from a human’s.”

  “Ya think?”

  “I’m merely showing you the proper way to please me.” It was like watching a bad porn movie as Jaylan’s actress gave me explicit, step-by-step instructions on how to lap his abdominal slit and penis.

  “Enough! If I have to watch that bimbo suck your dick one more time, I’m gonna vomit.”

  A hint of laughter in his voice, Jaylan responded, “Bez is quite talented.”

  “For a lizard.” A ghostly thumb circled my clit. In retaliation, I mentally ran my nails across the slit in Jaylan’s abdomen and smiled as his big body trembled. “But, I’m your mate, not some fifty-dollar whore.”

  “A thousand-credit whore,” Jaylan corrected.

  Phantom hands slid sinuously over my body, creating havoc with my senses. Was he purposely trying to turn my brains to mush? ’Cause it was working. “Don’t tell me you blew all your money on hookers?”

  His kiss was hot, heady, and intoxicating. “No. The Overlord is quite generous to his warlords.”

  “You visit lizard girl again, and no nooky for you. Ever.”

  Jaylan pulled me down on the sand. “Nooky?”

  “Sex.”

  He unzipped my jeans and slowly stroked my belly. “Colettis are the masters of seduction.”

  “You’re a man-whore.” I squeaked as Jaylan drove two long fingers deep inside me. How in the hell had he managed to get my pants and boots off?

  “Practice,” he whispered in my ear, fingers fucking me.

  Harder. Faster. Until I ignited. Ecstasy roared through me, burning away every inhibition. Sucking in a shuddering breath, I gasped, “That was…a nice little quickie.”

  “Quickie?” He flicked my clit.

  A shocking flare of pleasure rocked me. “Sex that is over way too fast.” I stroked a mental tongue along his penis until his body began to shake. One lick, and a thick green semen exploded from his dick. “Kinda like that.”

  With a startling, quick movement, Jaylan spread my legs and thrust inside me with a ferocious hunger.

  His hard, muscled body felt like home. I reveled in the sensation of his penis hammering deep inside my womb. The tentacles vibrated and pulsed, sending a vortex of dizzying bliss all the way to my toes.

  Time to give him another big O. I slid a finger inside his slit. I’ll be damned. Jaylan did have balls. Drawing on lizard girl’s instructions, I sucked them with my mind.

  A guttural groan erupted from Jaylan, and he climaxed violently.

  My body convulsed as an almost scalding heat exploded inside me. I lay beneath his merciless strength and struggled to catch my breath. “You weigh a ton.”

  Jaylan rolled, pulling me across his chest. “You’re a treasure.”

  I grinned. “I aim to please.”

  His fingers brushed my face. “I am very pleased.”

  Something howled, lonely, haunted, and unworldly.

  I scrambled for my gun. “What was that?”

  “A sand rat.”

  The image of a hairless squirrel with bat ears formed in my head. “That god-awful noise came from that little creature?” I quickly dressed.

  “Yes. He’s hunting for a mate.” Jaylan sealed his battle suit and rose to his feet.

  “As long as he’s not hunting us.” I knew I was being a wuss, but this planet really freaked me out.

  With a brilliant flash of green, the sun disappeared. Instant dark. I couldn’t see my hand in front of my face. “Good thing we’re not still in the swamp.”

  Jaylan wrapped a protective arm around my shoulders. “Very. When the sun goes down, the Aye-Aye hunt.”

  I scanned the information Zarek had implanted. Aye-Aye were a combination of a slug and a boa constrictor. About a billion of the buggers came out at dark. If you were stupid enough to let them get close to you, they spat a nasty paralytic venom. All it took was one single drop. No running. No screaming. Just a slow, awful death as they ate you alive. Ugh.

  Two moons rose, casting a mystical light over the desolate landscape.

  Another howl sounded. The damn thing was closer. “Where’s the secret passageway to the complex?”

  Poof! He teleported us into the base. It was so dark, I couldn’t see my hand in front of my face. Cool air caressed my skin. “Yay, air-conditioning, but lights would be nice too.”

  “You’re a very demanding mate.” There was a touch of amusement in his voice.

  “You have no idea.”

  A low hum sounded, and the lights came on.

  I blinked at the sudden brightness. We were standing in a control room. The walls were covered with humongous monitors. Data scrolled across a few screens, but most were blank.

  A blast of cold air hit me, and I gagged. Lordy, did we stink. “How do you feel about shower sex?” I held out the bar of antidote soap.

  “I like the way you think.” Jaylan scooped me up, and his lips caressed mine in a long, lazy kiss.

  Wowzers. He was the best kisser in the world.

  A harsh voice barked, “Status report.”

  My eyes popped open, and I looked over Jaylan’s shoulder. Holy hell! An old but still badass Coletti warrior watched us from a monitor. My gaze froze on the etched gold headband holding back his gray warrior braids. Shit! It was him. “As you commanded, Gramps, I fucked him.”

  Jaylan shot me a horrified look, dumped me on my feet, and snapped to attention. “Please forgive Bree, my lord, she is overwrought.”

  “Jeez, I wonder why? Was it the ship disintegrating into itty-bitty pieces or the horde of bloodsucking insects that kept attacking us? Oh wait, I know. It was trying to keep the Skardu from eating my mate.” I hissed as a sharp pain zapped me in the butt. “Shutting up, sir.”

  Jaylan hastily added, “Bree killed a Skardu, my lord.”

  “No, we both killed the mutant freak.”

  The Overlord bared his teeth in a really terrifying smile. “Good. You’re functioning as a team.”

  I eased a bit closer to Jaylan. Gramps made Darth Vader look like a pussy. “If we hadn’t, we’d be dead by now. Why is that so important?”

  “Radan has challenged your mating.”

  A low growl of aggression rumbled in Jaylan’s throat. “Bree belongs to me.”

  I patted his arm. “Gramps knows that, sweetie.” I turned my attention to Zarek. “Who the heck is Radan, and why is he interested in me?”

  “Radan is the head of the Drakash Clan. He claims he had a breeding contract with Thor that gives him the right to claim you.”

  “No one but you and Jaylan even knew I existed. How did he find out?”

  The fury in the Overlord’s eyes was horrifying. “An excellent question, and one that will soon be answered.”

  Yikes, I had a feeling someone didn’t have long to live. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but I thought that once we did the nasty, the mating bond was unbreakable.”

  Jaylan shrugged. “My death would sever the bond.”

  “Sweet-cheeks, you know and I know, this Radan hasn’t got a snowball’s chance in hell of defeating you in battle.”

  The Overlord nodded in agreement. “Which is why Radan hired clanless warriors to kill you.”

  “Why is the wuss so desperate to get his hands on me?”

  Jaylan rubbed a weary hand over his face. “He wants your dowry.”

  “What dowry?”

  “You inherited half of Thor’s estate,” the Overlord answered grimly.

  “I did? Why? I’m his bastard.�
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  “You are blood of his blood,” Zarek snapped. “Never use that word again.”

  It took everything I had not to drop to my knees and beg for his forgiveness. No one with a lick of sense made the Overlord angry. “It won’t happen again, sir.”

  A huge warlord with a burn scar on the right side of his hard, chiseled face stepped into view on the monitor. “My lord, Radan’s mercenaries have tracked Jaylan and his mate to Gansu.”

  Was that blood splattered on his face and neck? Good God, it was. “Is that Voss?”

  “It is,” Jaylan answered.

  “Mean-looking dude.”

  “He is the Overlord’s Battle Commander.”

  “Did he teach you your scary face?”

  Zarek inquired politely, “Are we boring you? Is the fact you’re being tracked by assassins unimportant?”

  I yawned. “No offense, sir, but after surviving that hellish swamp, taking down a couple of killers will be a piece of cake.”

  Voss cocked an inquiring eyebrow. “How did you keep the Hebes off you?”

  “Hebes?”

  “The armored insects,” Jaylan said.

  “My skunk bomb fried their little asses.”

  “Bree’s skill at creating bombs equals Detja’s,” Jaylan added proudly.

  “A useful talent when properly supervised,” Zarek countered.

  “Hey, I’ve only blown up two of your ships.” I gave myself a mental head smack. What the hell was wrong with me? I was turning into a suicidal Chatty Cathy.

  “Which two?” Voss demanded. His voice was oddly compelling.

  The prick actually thought his psychic voodoo would work on me? Time to teach him differently. I gave him my best ditzy I’m-dumber-than-a-rock look. “I forget.”

  Jaylan let out a long sigh. “Bree, you will answer the Battle Commander.”

  When hell freezes over. I ran a mental tongue around and around Jaylan’s penis. “I’m exhausted. Could we talk about this later?” I nipped at his tentacles. “A lot later?”

  The muscles in Jaylan’s body quivered. “Later…is good.” His voice went up an octave.

  Beat that, Battle Commander.

  There was a moment of ominous silence, and Voss ordered, “You will answer me, female.”

  PMS raised its ugly head. “You’re not my boss, Cuddles.”

  Jaylan groaned.