I cried for Charles Mace, who I’d found and then lost, and then remembered, and now the memory tasted bad in my mouth. I cried for my parents who I missed every day, but couldn’t think about without feeling like I never wanted to get out of bed again. I cried for Linus, who needed me to find him while I was lying in bed and bawling like a baby. I wept for Nik, Tor and Uncle Rick, who’d been there one minute, and slipped through my fingers in the next. I missed my dog, so I shed a few tears for Henry Mancini, who never would’ve let me cry alone.
I cried until I had no tears left. I cried myself to sleep, and Tucker, villain though he was, didn’t judge me or say a rude thing the entire time. He simply held me and let me fall apart when I couldn’t hold my crumbling world together any longer.
Six.
The Impatient Patient
I sneaked out of bed the next morning, too ashamed to even glance in Tucker’s direction. I tiptoed to the washroom and took the quietest bath in history, making sure to rub the dried tearstains from my face to erase any trace of my breakdown. After I dressed and brushed my hair, I went down to the kitchen to make some breakfast for the others. There were mushrooms on the counter, which looked like the beginnings of a decent omelet.
Tucker’s voice from the doorway made me jump. “Not the worst walk of shame I’ve ever seen, but certainly not the most seamless.”
“You scared me!” I whispered. “And keep your voice down.”
Tucker’s whispered reply had his usual hint of a tease in it. “You make it sound like we were rolling around naked all night long. Nothing happened, love. We shared stories about the weather and fell asleep. Nothing more.”
My pounding heart began to slow to its normal rhythm, my hand relaxing on the cutting board. “Nothing more,” I agreed. “Thank you. I didn’t mean for… I didn’t want to… I’m so sorry about last night.”
Tucker moved next to me and got down herbs to make tea for all of us. Once he crushed the black twigs into a fine powder and placed them in the tea ball, he bent down and pressed a chaste kiss to my cheek. “I told you, we talked about the weather and fell asleep. I can’t help it if you have unladylike dreams of tearing my clothes off and having your young and wild way with me.”
I bumped my hip to his. “Thanks.”
His arm went around my shoulders, pushing my face to his chest so he could kiss the top of my head. It was the same position I’d been in when I wept all over him last night. “Anytime, love.”
We finished breakfast without fighting, which was a feat for us. Tucker sat at the table across from me and made polite chitchat over our omelets, toast and tea. Jamie joined us when I polished off my last bite, so I left the two of them to dine together while I brought Jens his breakfast.
Jens was slightly less crabby than he’d been the night before. He even let me help him sit up on the couch without a fight. “Sorry for snapping at you last night. I don’t do well when I’m laid up like this.”
I pressed my lips to his in a light brush that calmed his anxiety. “I forgive you for being a childish smackhole. Just so you know, you played your cards all wrong with this. I could’ve been the sexy nurse and tended to your ailments. Missed opportunity, but that’s what happens when you’re too prideful for your own good.”
He groaned, leaning his head back on the couch. “Hit me where it hurts, Mox.”
“Speaking of which, where does it hurt? What did the doctor say?”
Jens waved his arm in the air and rolled his eyes. “He’s used to dealing with fragile drama queens, not me. I’m fine. Just need to take it slower for a while. Maybe not wrestle any trolls for a few days. No big deal.”
“I’ll ask Jamie. If you’re doing shtick, it must be pretty bad. Anything broken?”
He held my gaze in that way a man gets when he realizes the woman he loves actually loves him well enough to know his quirks. He held my hand and kissed the back of it. “Nothing’s broken.”
“Well, I hope your heart won’t break when I tell you I’m simply too tired to travel today. Tuck snores like a wildebeest. Up all night. Couldn’t possibly make it to Nøkken today.”
Jens dimpled, but the appreciation soon faded when he accepted that I was being gracious so he could rest while keeping his pride. He was good at many things, but being the weakest link wasn’t one of them. “We can leave tomorrow morning then, but no later. I’m serious. I know what you’re doing, and I appreciate it, but you can stop. I’m fine, and don’t need to be handled.”
I handed him toast from the tray I’d brought him. It was just out of his reach, but he was too stubborn to ask me for help. “Did anyone ever tell you that you’re a terrible patient? I mean, if you’d whine a little, you could’ve gotten a foot rub or at least a back rub. Rookie mistake.”
Jens chewed on the bread Tucker had toasted with his fingers, snorting humorlessly at my needling. “Make sure you stay in the house and away from the windows today. I don’t want anything else slowing us down.”
“Gotcha.” We sat in awkward silence for several minutes with Jens refusing to look in my direction. “Feel like talking about anything?”
“I’m a little tired still. The quack doctor gave me some herbs for the pain. They help, but they’re making me sleepy. I miss Western medicine. Give me an aspirin, and I’m fine.”
“And crabby, apparently,” I murmured under my breath.
“Sorry. I’m going back to sleep. I know it’s daytime, but these stupid herbs are messing with me. I’ll be in Alrik’s old room sleeping on an actual bed. Stupid couch jacked up my back last night.”
Jamie narrowed his eyes at his friend. “Yes. The couch messed up your back. Must be the couch.”
“Want me to rub your back for you?” I offered.
Jens shook his head. “It only hurts when I move. Not worth the trouble. I’m fine.”
I plastered on a smile that was laced with frustration. “Fair enough. I guess I’ll wait for pigs to fly before you call me down if you need me or want to hang out. I’ll be in my room, being my cheerful self. See you in twenty-four hours.”
Jens nodded, still avoiding my gaze. I began to be grateful for more than the obvious reason that he was rarely so injured.
I stalked up to my room and shut the door, flopping on the bed as I contemplated how best to waste away the hours. This room belonged to me, and I loved the four walls for the promise they held that I would be alone and safe inside of them.
I wondered where I would return to once Linus was resurrected and we got back to the Other Side. I didn’t want to live in Elvage, lovely as it was. I didn’t have a livable house to go to back in my world, and Johannes had taken out a hit on me. Plus, as much as the Huldras proved themselves an asset to us, they put me in just as much danger on a whim. I wouldn’t gamble Linus’s safety like that.
I switched from calisthenics to laying on the bed several times before evening came. Jamie knocked on the door and let himself in quietly. “I need a break from your boyfriend,” he declared in a whisper, as if Jens could somehow hear him up the flight of stairs and down the hallway. “Jens was not meant to be helpless.”
“Why do you think I’m hiding up here? Take a load off,” I offered, motioning to the foot of the bed. “Where’s Tuck?”
“Trying his luck with Jens the Brazen.”
Tucker let himself into my room without knocking. “Nope! I give up. There’s a reason why I’m not a caregiver to pit bulls or poisonous snakes.”
“Join us.” I moved over toward the bed.
Tucker sat down next to me on the mattress and covered his face with his hands, letting out a noise of frustration into them. “I’m grateful Jens isn’t injured all that often. He’s such a pill today.”
Jamie nodded. “It makes me miss Britta. She can handle him when he gets like this. I hate that we sent her back. I know it was the right thing to do, but now Foss is in charge of taking care of her needs. I don’t have high hopes for that.”
My voice lowered so a
s not to be overheard. “Foss isn’t so bad. Remember a few months back when I got the flu? He came over with his weird herbal remedy and stayed at the house until I was better.”
Jamie cast me a disparaging glance. “Yes, well, Foss isn’t in love with Britta, which I thank my lucky stars for every day.”
“Foss isn’t… She’s fine. Foss will make sure she has everything she needs. Britta was taking care of herself just fine while we were underground.”
Jamie glared at Tucker, his anger temporarily renewed. “Yes, I remember.”
Tucker held up his hands. “I thought the sirens could help. Honestly, does no good deed go unpunished?”
Our heads turned as one when Jens’s voice called up for Jamie. Tucker and I turned and stared at Jamie with matching grins, while Jamie sighed. “I’ll be back. Hopefully with my head not bitten off. You’re lucky he doesn’t like to suffer in front of you, Lucy. It’s not pretty.”
After Jamie left, I looked Tucker up and down, my arms crossed over my chest. “You know you just about got yourself shoved off the bed, right? ‘No good deed’.”
“Käresta, you practically begged me to bed you last night. I highly doubt I’ll be cast out so easily.” The sleaze was thick, but when I looked into his eyes, I saw the haunting guilt and angst hidden beneath.
I rubbed his arm, my voice soft. “We know you didn’t mean to get us almost killed. I medium forgive you.”
“Is that so? Well, then I medium like you.” His arm went around my shoulders, and I sank into the warmth. “I very much regret what they did to you, and my part in that.”
I had nothing to say to this. I couldn’t absolve him of his guilt, but it didn’t feel right to rub it in, either. “You took the oath to protect Jamie. That counts for something. Got yourself a pretty little face tattoo. That’s gonna score you some points with the ladies.”
“Is that so? Is it working on you? Is that how Jens the Brave caught your eye?” He winked at me, flashing me a view of his ornate gold tattoo on the crest of his cheek.
“I’m closer to your platonic dude friend, so I don’t actually count as ‘the ladies’.”
“Platonic dude friend? Well, that’s not very much fun.”
“Is it more fun than sleeping on the floor tonight?”
“You act like you hold all the cards. I could just as easily kick you out of the bed tonight.” He mussed my hair.
“You forget it’s my house,” I reminded him, jabbing my elbow into his side. It was meant to come off a joke, but the note felt sour on my tongue. My uncle was dead. A house hardly seemed a consolation prize.
“You’ve got that look again.”
“What look?”
“The one most elves my age have. We look young, but we’ve been through decades of wear and tear. You’re too young to look so sad.”
“When this is all over, you’ll have to remind me how to be young again. I can’t think back to the last time I was me without the fear and clawing sadness.” I shook my head in distaste. “Sorry. That was melodramatic. Buy me some cotton candy when we get home and I’ll be good as new.”
He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and laced his fingers through mine. “Done.”
Seven.
P.T.S.D.
Jens was extra cheerful that evening, which meant we were able to sit together an entire hour before he started finding reasons to shoo me away. I knew he was in a lot of pain; there was just nothing I could do to help, nor would he let me.
“I’m fine, I already said,” Jens droned after I called him out on an “oof” of discomfort he still wouldn’t own up to. “You look tired, though. Maybe you should get some sleep. We’ll leave first thing in the morning.”
It was his more polite way of telling me to get lost, so I took him up on the offer before he turned sour. “Goodnight, precious cupcake,” I teased, pouring it on thick just to make him blanch. “You want another pillow, baby-waby? You look so weak and fragile.”
“I’m fine.” Jens narrowed his eyes at the girly nickname and baby talk in front of his guy friends. They sniggered at the dig, which pronounced Jens’s frown. “Goodnight, Stina— I mean, Lucy.”
You had to hand it to him, he could fight even when he was down for the count. I sauntered over to him, my smile perfectly affixed on my face and kissed his undeserving lips. It served as a perfect distraction so I could grab a good handful of his side between my thumb and my forefinger. The pinch was hard enough to inflict a cringe, but the pull and twist was what brought his apology to light.
He struggled to get away, but there was precious little room to do anything but squirm and whine. “Okay! I’m sorry! I was only kidding.”
I pinched harder, smiling all the while. “What’s my name?”
“Jeneve?” he guessed, playing off the joke to his grave. “No, wait. Was it that waitress who thought you were my sister and asked you for my number? What was her name? She was hot. I love me a good brunette.”
“Laugh it up, playboy. Enjoy sleeping alone for the rest of eternity.”
His grin was genuine, which made it worth the spiteful banter. He was coming back to himself in bits and pieces, and broken though they were, I loved every mangled part of him.
I ran my fingers through his messy hair, but before he could relax into the touch, I flicked his front tooth hard, causing a painful resonation to ring through his mouth. “Ah!” he cried, scrubbing the throbbing sensation from his tooth. “Alright, alright. Truce. I hate when you do that. Sleep tight, Mox. Upstairs with you, Tuck.”
“I swear, if one more guy asks me to properly bed his girl, I’m going to have to start charging.”
Tucker made to stand, but I held up my hand. “I’m fine. He can come up when he’s actually ready to sleep, if he wants.”
Tucker gave me a two-fingered salute, and I went up the stairs for some much-needed alone time. As great as it was to have a team to search for my brother, I would be glad when the whole ordeal was over and I could figure out what normal felt like again. All this survival nonsense was screwing with my grasp on normalcy. I missed TV and processed food.
Tucker and I were actually starting to become friends, which was the first sign of me needing more sleep and a break from all things magical. I wanted college, movie marathons and a whole smackload of wood posts, so I could reconstruct my white picket fence and breathe a full breath again.
I bathed, changed into yellow shorts and a tank top for bed, and climbed under the covers after lighting the half-burned candle on my bedside table. I hadn’t actually slept in a bed by myself in… well, not since Jens and I moved in together. Living with Jens sounded and felt so grownup, though part of me knew I would never have made such a permanent decision were it not already decided for me that Jens was my guardian shadow.
I touched Linus at my throat with my gloved fingers and begged him to hold on just a little while longer. I shut the mental door tight between Jamie and me, so I could ponder the more private memories I’d shared with my family that I never let myself dwell on, lest I fall apart when the loss hit me afresh. I had big plans for Linus 2.0. We would go see the Pinball Hall of Fame and ride every roller coaster in the world. We would stay up late watching too many B-horror movies and get into the kinds of mischief you need a wingman for.
I fell asleep with a grin fixed on my face and the door to Jamie firmly shut as I dreamt of better things to come.
* * * *
My hands felt heavy, and when I opened my eyes, I saw nothing. Endless nothing smacked me across the face with its cruelty. I was cold, but the bile rising in my throat built up a solid sheen of sweat on my arms and the back of my neck.
The adventure, the promise of Linus – all of it was a lie. I was still chained to the floor in the dungeon in the middle of… I still didn’t know where. Jamie was not in my mind, and Jens was not rescuing me in all of his bearded glory. I was alone in the cold, awaiting further torture at the hands of the sadistic sirens.
I opened my mouth
to scream, but was afraid of the collar. My fingers clawed at my neck, but only the thin rope of my necklace was there. They’d forgotten to put the collar back on when Six removed it.
Captain Six. The thought of him made me shudder. He was crazy and thought I was my mom. I could feel his hand creeping up my knee, and a scream rose from my mouth unbidden.
I scratched at my neck, anticipating the shock that never came. I couldn’t tell if my eyes were open or closed, so encompassing was the darkness that clawed at my guts. I used my precious moments of freedom from the silencer to scream to the high heavens for help, praying that this time, a miracle would come in the form of Jens with some of his Werebear-whooping ninja action.
Six’s grip on my leg terrified me. No matter how hard I willed it away and shouted for him to get off me, his hand remained in place, snaking up toward the middle of my thigh as I tried to escape.
“I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you!” I yelled, thrashing around. My hands were bound to the concrete floor, and try as I might, I couldn’t pull myself free. “Jamie!” I shouted in the dark. It burst out of me, this mournful panicked cry that did no good at all. They would be in any moment to collar me again. To cut me off. To shut me up.
Captain Six smiled at me, his hand still on my thigh as if he owned it. As if he owned me. “Get off me! I’m not her! I’m not her! Don’t touch me! Help, Jamie! Help!”
I sobbed in the dark, my heart breaking that I’d somehow hallucinated a whole scenario that brought me back to Jens with a scheme that gave me Linus again. I was still in the cell. I was crazy. I was alone.
Eight.
In the Dark
“Lucy! Honey, wake up!” Jamie said, his hand shaking my shoulder.
Lucy at Last Page 4
