I let out a blood-curdling scream at being touched in the dark, which caused the hand to release me. My fists struck out, not hitting anything substantial, but the intent was clear. I would not be shut up. They’d have to kill me before I wore that collar again. Fear gave birth to a full-blown panic attack, which quickened my breath to the point of hyperventilation. “Don’t touch me! Don’t do it! Let me go!”
“Tuck, get a new candle or something so she can see us!”
Just like that, there was light.
There had never been light in the cell.
Jamie was leaning over me, a look of grave concern on his shaved face. The faint illumination of a ball of fire floating in the middle of the room shed a sliver of sanity over my psyche I was not willing to accept just yet. “You’re not real,” I whispered, unable to take my eyes off Jamie’s kind expression. “I’m crazy.”
The voice I loved answered from a space to my left just out of sight. My gaze shifted to Jens, and the tingling in my nerves scared me afresh because I knew the agony that was forthcoming. “No! Don’t hurt me!” I thrashed around and clawed at my legs to try removing the cuffs they would use to shock me at the sound or thought of Jens. “I don’t know anything! Let me go! Jamie!” I closed my eyes to shut out the image of Jens.
Strong arms were around me. The terror was so real and the tension so taut, I feared my heart exploding in my chest when they eventually did send the currents through me.
“Open your eyes! It’s me! I’m here!” Jamie’s voice was just as scared as mine.
When I peeked at my surroundings as I writhed in Jamie’s arms, I didn’t find the cell that had been so real seconds ago. “Captain Six?” My efforts to fight off friendly yet afraid faces ebbed. I tried to catch my breath and make sense of what surrounded me. I touched Jamie’s face warily with a hand poised to strike should he make one wrong move. “Did you kill him? You have to kill him, Jamie. He thinks I’m her! I’m not his girlfriend! I won’t be! I won’t!” Phantom hands touched my knees again, and I started kicking on instinct to rid my skin of the creepy touch. “Get him off! I’m not her!” My gaze fell on Jens again, and fear lit me from the inside as I braced myself for pain. My sweaty back arched in Jamie’s grip as I screamed through the house.
“Go, Jens! Get out!” Jamie ordered, covering my eyes with his hands. “I’ve got this. Just wait in the hall.”
After the door shut, Jamie removed his hand. His coo was quiet, despite my frantic movements and flowing tears. “Lucy, you’re not in the cell anymore. We’re in Elvage. We got out, and they’ll never take us there again.”
My limbs threw out one more involuntary fight before they collapsed in a heap of defeat and exhaustion. I sobbed, shaking my head. “I don’t know what’s real!” I admitted. Since it was probably fake Jamie conjured up by my imagination, I could tell him the truth. “You have to kill him. Captain Six. He thinks I’m my mom, but I’m not! He sees her in my mind and keeps putting his hands on me! Don’t let him take me! Don’t let him touch me! He wants to keep me here with him!” My legs kicked out to rid the icky feeling I didn’t think I’d ever be able to shake. “He wants to keep me! Don’t let him take me!”
“No, no. He’s long dead, syster.”
My eyes darted around the room. It was only just registering that I could see, and that I wasn’t freezing – merely a little cold from kicking off the blanket while wearing shorts and a tank. I touched Jamie’s face again. “Was it real?” I whispered. “Which world are we in?”
I felt Jamie’s pain, and it opened the door between us, sending in a waft of familiarity I didn’t need to question. It was Jamie, and I could trust him. “You had a bad dream. We’re in Elvage, and in the morning we’re going to go get Linus. There’s no cell. There’s no dungeon. No collar. No sirens. Captain Six is dead.”
I let his words sink in, and slowly, my limbs began to release a bit of their terror. I collapsed in Jamie’s arms, sobbing and shaking as he held me to his chest. “It felt so real.”
“I know, syster. I know.” It was then I realized only half the tears belonged to me. Jamie’s sadness dotted my hair and my face as he called over his shoulder. “Jens, you can come back in.”
I tensed on instinct, readying for the jolt of behavior training. I inched away from the whole side of the room that contained Jens, willing myself to feel the calm Jamie tried to brush into my hair with his shaking fingers. Jens had his hands up, his banged-up face white with dread. “It’s just me, Mox. It’s alright.”
“It’s going to hurt,” I whispered, my fingernails digging into Jamie’s forearm. “Any second now.”
My teeth were gritted against the pain I was sure would come, but Jamie maintained just enough calm to bring me back down. “We’re not in the dark, Lucy. Jens is real, and nothing’s going to shock us.”
Despite Jamie’s reassurances, I recoiled when Jens came near, and extended his arm to touch me. “I gotta sit down, Loos. I’m sorry if I’m freaking you out. My leg hurts real bad.” He sat on the mattress with a groan that tugged at my heart. “I won’t hurt you. Being near me won’t hurt you. It was just a dream. Those days are long gone.”
I nodded, trying to swallow my anxiety, but it was a lost cause. I was a mess, and the fact that three men were watching me and sizing up my level of crazy didn’t help matters. “Okay. We’re in Elvage. You’re real. The sirens are dead.” I shirked out of Jamie’s embrace and tried to sit up as best I could. “Six is dead.”
Jens’s voice was pinched with strain. “What did he do to you?”
I shook my head and pulled my knees to my chest, answering Jens between chewing my nails. “Nothing. I was just imagining things. I’m in Elvage. I’m not in the cell.”
The ball of fire in Tucker’s hand grew to shed more light on the room. “Can I get you some water?”
“The water takes Jamie away,” I answered, my eyes hollow and my voice robotic. I caught myself and shook my head again, this time with more vigor to try ridding my brain of its kinks. “No, I’m in Elvage, not in the cell.” I stared ahead of me, not really seeing anything. “I’m tired. I just want to get some sleep. Sorry I woke you guys up.” When no one moved, I turned my red face away from them. “I just want to be alone. I’ll see you all in the morning.”
Jens shook his head. “If you can’t be near me, I get it, but you can’t be alone until this journey’s over.”
“Jamie can stay, then.”
Jamie rubbed the nape of his neck, casting me a hesitant look. “I really shouldn’t, Lucy. I’m a married man. As much as you’re my syster, we’re laplanded, which already makes things complicated. I can’t stay in a bedroom alone with you. You’re barely dressed. It’s inappropriate.”
My cheeks burned with chagrin at how he made me sound. I had on normal pajamas he’d seen me in a hundred times. My yellow shorts and tank top were twisted and sweaty now. When Jamie’d been out of his mind for weeks on end, I’d held him and brought him back to reality as many times as it took to get him sane enough so he could see Britta.
Tucker brought in a few candles, lighting them with a click of his fingers, spreading out the flickering illumination throughout the room.
Jamie rubbed his chest, soothing the sore spot where my pain had hit him. “You’re right. I’m overthinking things. That was unfair of me. After all you did for me, of course I can stay in here with you tonight.”
“Get out,” I warned with a hiss of cool venom, turning my back to the men so I could seethe in private.
“Lucy, I’m sorry. Let me get an extra blanket. I’ll be right back. I’m sure Britta will understand.”
“Get out!” I shouted, turning toward him and throwing my pillow at his head.
“I was wrong, syster. I’ll stay. Of course I’ll stay as long as you need.”
I rose up to my knees on the bed as I yelled at him, pointing my finger at the brother I could barely look at. “I stayed with you when you took away my food and water! I stayed with
you when I knew Jens was safe just so you wouldn’t have to go through this alone! I stayed with you without a second thought! I was a good sister to you, but you’re a horrible brother! I’ve done everything I can to make your marriage work! It’s fine for you to need help, but if I ever ask for anything…” When he made to apologize again, I screamed. “Get out! I don’t need you!”
“Alright! I’m sorry!” Jamie ducked out of the room, taking his tail with him that wagged submissively. He and Tucker acted as a crutch to Jens, who took his broken heart down the stairs to Uncle Rick’s bedroom.
I turned my back to the door, worrying the hem of my tank top as I whispered the things I was certain of. “My name is Lucy Kincaid. I lived at 1472 North Pinehurst Lane. My mom is Hilda, my dad is Rolf, my brother is Linus.”
I didn’t realize Tucker had come back and was standing in the room until he lit a gentle ball of fire in his hands. “Out of ammo to pitch at me?” he said of my forfeited pillow.
“Go away. I don’t need a babysitter.”
Tucker paused as he unbuttoned his slightly rumpled white Oxford shirt. “Have you ever been to the Louvre?”
I turned toward the closed window and tried to rub warmth into my arms. “What?”
“I haven’t been able to make it through a five-year stint without finding my way back there. When this is all over, you should take your brother there with Jens.”
I had nothing to say to this; it was so out of nowhere. “Um, okay.”
“Get under the covers,” he ordered, pulling back the comforter and straightening it for me to slip underneath.
“Go downstairs or find another room. I’m fine by myself. I’m twenty-one.”
“Which means I’m sure you have all the answers.” He removed his button-down and unclipped his suspenders. “But riddle me this, have you ever seen something so beautiful, you knew the rest of your life would never be the same?”
I didn’t answer.
He slid off his undershirt and tossed it on the floor. “Then after this whole ordeal is over, I’ll book a trip for the lot of us. We’ll see Paris as it was meant to be seen. You have no idea how a croissant is supposed to taste. Once you mass-produce a masterpiece, it takes all the romance out of the art. A truly good croissant is a work of art.” He picked up my pillow from the floor and slid it onto the bed. “Lie down.”
The moment my head touched the pillow, exhaustion crept over me. Muscles that had been tight with anxiety hung limp under the sheets Tucker pulled up around me. He removed his trousers and slipped on his pajama pants before sliding under the covers next to me.
“The trick to making a truly perfect pastry is all in the love. You can’t use a machine; there’s no romance in that. You take your time with each layer, stretching and folding gently until you have something so perfect, it deserves to be photographed and put on display in a museum.” He paused, and then lowered his voice. “Do you want some lavender powder, darling?”
I shook my head.
Tucker pulled me closer and rolled me to face him, bringing my head to rest on his bare chest. The candlelight danced on his skin as his voice broke the quiet lull like the first note played on a lonely violin. “I’m sorry for my part in it. I didn’t know they would… I had no idea. It’s no excuse. Seeing what they did to you? What you dream about? I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine,” I replied, sniffling through the last of my raw emotions. Stuffing them back inside was a feat I was unequipped for at the late hour.
“No, it’s not. You’re letting me off the hook too easily. You should punish me at least half as much as I’m punishing myself.”
My response came out a whisper. “Just don’t let the lights go out. I don’t like the dark anymore.” I clutched his skin, afraid of what might happen if I went back to the bad place in my mind. Though I wasn’t Tucker’s biggest fan, I clung to him as if he was my only link to sanity.
Tucker caressed my cheek with his thumb. “You don’t have to worry about that. The worst is behind you, käresta.”
A few more tears slid out at this. I wished it to be true more than anything, but I had precious little hope left. “I don’t believe you.”
“Then I’ll have to do everything I can to make it true.” He took a fresh cigar off the nightstand, clipped the tip with a guillotine cutter and lit it with a click from his fingers, puffing through his own anxiety as he slowly rotated the stick to burn the end evenly. “Do you smoke?”
“Smoking’s bad for you,” I replied on autopilot.
Tucker chuckled, pulling me up to lean against the headboard with him. His arm around me kept me snug to his body, and despite all the things that made me distrust him, he was warm, and I was devoid of feeling. His lips wrapped around the thick cigar, taking a puff before bringing it over to my mouth. “Don’t inhale. Just take the smoke into your mouth and breathe it out.”
I gave it a shot, if for no other reason than to have actually smoked a cigar. It wasn’t on my bucket list or anything, but the childish curiosity in me won out. It wasn’t bad. Thankfully I didn’t choke on the smoke or ralph all over.
Tucker pulled the cigar back to his lips. “See? Not so bad for you.”
“Doesn’t count. You’re a fire elf. I’m sure that doesn’t affect you at all.”
“You got me there. But it does calm me down. Thought you could use a little sedation.” He brought the cigar to my mouth again, his smile softening as I sipped on the fat stick. “So Captain Six wasn’t a gentleman, eh?”
I swallowed a lump that had risen in my throat at mention of the man who still gave me the creeps. “He was fine. I don’t want to talk about it.”
Tucker’s hand brushed my bare shoulder and hugged my hip under my tank top as he held me close. “You know, that’s the first time a woman’s said that where I didn’t feel relieved. He really did a number on you, then?”
“He’s dead. Nothing to talk about.”
He indulged in some silence with his cigar, staring ahead of him as secret thoughts danced across his eyes. “They’re all dead. They deserve it, don’t get me wrong. But it’s a shame to know an entire race was wiped out in one go. I had higher hopes when I saved them from extinction originally.”
I had nothing to say, so I took his cigar from him and unwound my mind with the simple action of puffing on the end. “I’m sorry.”
“Love, you don’t get to say that to me.” He leaned down and pressed his cheek to mine to steal a puff. His lips almost touched the side of mine as he spoke. “I knew Six. Not well, but he was in charge of maintaining certain security measures I originally set up for them. I’d never guess him to be a rapist. Then again, I never guessed the whole lot of them to take a girl into a dungeon and torture her under the guise of helping, so my radar’s all off.”
I wiped the phantom itch off my knees. “He didn’t do anything like that. Just creeped me out. Had a thing with my mom years ago, I guess, and saw her dormant inside of me. Talked to me like I was her. Put his hands on my legs.” I sat up straighter and scratched my skin, trying to rid my thighs of his touch. Tears welled in my eyes again, and I shook my head in anger. “I told you I didn’t want to talk about it! Talking does nothing!” My breath was harder to suck down, and I felt the beginnings of a good old hyperventilation coming on as I scrubbed at my thighs with my nails.
Tucker wrapped his arms around me from behind, picking up my hands so they couldn’t torture my legs anymore. He crossed my arms around my chest, wrapped me in a tight hug that crushed the panic from me and rocked me back and forth, engulfing me in the strength of his affection. My lower lip quivered as my thighs burned with the phantom sting of unwanted touch. Tucker’s whisper in my ear around his cigar was soft, and laced with a gentle kindness I didn’t possess in that moment. “Shh. Darling, I’ve got you. It’ll pass. It’ll pass.”
When Tucker reached down to my legs and brushed downward from my thighs to my knees, it was with the motion of pushing away the bad touch and replacing it
with one that chased away a portion of my anxiety. “I’m sorry. I… I’m such a train wreck,” I confessed.
Tucker pulled me back to his side, running his fingers through my hair and shushing me in a way that made me calm down marginally. “You’re right. Okay. It’s much too late for getting upset about things that are done and over with. Käresta, it’s time I taught you a little secret to making it through many lifetimes unscathed.” He brought my chin to face him, looking into my eyes with more seriousness than I’d guessed he possessed. “We make our peace with it and we move on to better things.” He put his cigar back in his mouth and spoke around the stub. “Say it.”
“We make our peace with it and move on to better things,” I agreed, nodding.
We finished off his cigar in silence, and then sunk down under the covers, finding as much solace between the sheets as could be offered by the softness of the silk and cotton. “Goodnight, darling,” he whispered as I closed my eyes. He kissed my eyelids and gently brushed his hand under the sheets from my shoulder down my back, and stroked the curve of my hip. Our hearts were separated only by the thin material of my tank top.
“Night, Tuck.” I quietly added, “Don’t let the lights go out.”
“You got it.” Tucker held me, and though there was much about him that gave me pause, small parts of me shifted towards peace in his arms.
Nine.
Warrants
I awoke to Jamie’s voice in my head, banging on our shared mental door and yelling at me to get up in a panic.
What? What’s wrong? I asked, shifting against the warm body I was far too comfortable resting on.
Delling must’ve woken during the night and gone out to report Tucker. The guard is here, and he’s demanding we hand Tuck over. Get a dress on and play your Queen Lucy role. I’m doing the best I can, but it’s not enough.
I bolted upright and shook Tucker awake. “Tuck! The cops are here to take you in! Wake up! Hurry!”
Tucker took a few seconds to come fully to. “What? Cops? Where are we?”
Lucy at Last Page 5
