Cherry Blossoms: A Losing His Wife Novel

by KT Morrison

  Her words cut him deep. Paired with his own darkness and the feel of his wife’s sucking wet heat on his throbbing erection a thrill shot through his brain and he cried out. Cried out in pain and sadness and fear and death, “No, Nia, oh no...”

  “I was bad, Geoff,” she whispered again and her claws went under his shirt and across his back. “Take me back, baby, make me yours, Geoff...”

  He thrust himself into her, hating her again, hating her and loving her and wanting every bit of her to be destroyed. “You didn’t,” he hissed.

  “I had to,” she said. “Oh God, Geoff, fuck me, God, I made such a big mistake, ohhh,” she moaned and cried.

  “Nia,” he cried too, his eyes went wet and he clutched her shoulders as he fucked her, stabbed every inch of shaft inside her like it was a butcher knife and wanted her to hurt, wanted her to know pain like he knew pain. “Oh, Nia, why, why...”

  “I had to, Geoff,” she murmured, “I had to...”

  “You didn’t have to, Nia, you fucking wanted to...”

  “No, Geoff, no...”

  He pounded her hard, felt his balls sticking to her damp mound, felt something rising in him, felt something building. He was going to fill her up with his love, fill her up with his seed and let her know she was his. She was meant to be his.

  “Fuck me, Geoff, ah, that’s it, God, you feel good...”

  “What did you do?” he hissed.

  “I’m a whore.”

  “You fucking...Nia, what. Did. You. Do?”

  He pulled his gaze back to look at her but she couldn’t meet his eyes. She pulled away, twisted her face and hid it from him, hid it in that crazy mane of hair. “I...I sucked his cock,” she whispered.

  “Nia,” he gasped, horrified, he felt himself shudder, he clutched her to him, he gave her what she wanted, he fucked her, fucked her shame away, it was okay. “It’s okay, Nia. Baby, it’s okay.” He felt the tears come, felt them fill his eyes, felt them stream on his cheeks, cross the bridge of his nose and trickle through his beard.

  “I had to, Geoff, I wanted that job.”

  “No, Nia, you didn’t...” She didn’t want that. She wanted other men. He knew it. He could feel it. Maybe he always knew it.

  “Call me your whore,” she whispered.

  “No, Nia, I love you.”

  “Geoff, call me it.”

  She bucked against him, fucked him harder than he fucked her, thrashing underneath him and pounding her sex against his. Her pussy gripped his cock like her fist.

  “Oh fuck, Nia, you—”

  “Whore,” she hissed.

  “Fucking whore,” he whispered into her ear and he put the palm of his hand over her mouth and felt the hot breath snort from her nose against him. His other hand went around her throat and he squeezed her roughly. “Cunt whore,” he said, pounding, each word a deep stab up inside her hot pussy.

  She squeaked and bounced underneath him, her hips crashed against his in perfect rhythm. She was going to come. He was going to make her come. She sucked some guy off but she needed Geoff. He could be here for her. Help her when she was bad, “I love you, Nia,” he said and he let her mouth go just at the lip of her orgasm. She clutched herself suddenly to him, dug her nails into him as her head thrust back into the mattress. Her eyes shut, her face contorted as if in pain. Her whole body tightened and clamped, her pussy squeezed the cum out of his cock. He exploded inside her, he came watching her come, knowing she was bad, knowing she was in love with him still and needed him. He shot his semen inside her and he felt a wave of warm love for his bad girl wash up over him and crash around her shoulders and the water was warm and nice and if he was in it with her everything was going to be okay. Her teeth clenched and she snorted for breaths, her lips peeled back in a snarl and she growled and coughed and struggled to breathe all at the same time. It was the craziest hugest orgasm he’d ever seen. Her nails shredded his back, her heels dug into his thighs and kicked him, her pussy tried to suck every bit of him in and he thrust his hips forward to give her every bit he had, wished he had more. His heart pounded out of control.

  He watched it ebb from her finally, felt her grip calm, her heels release. She lay on her back, her chest heaving, a vein pulsed in her hairline and he saw just how fast he’d got her heart going. He watched wide-eyed as she came to, as she returned to the land of the living. Her eyes opened and she looked into him. Her eyes sparkled, a white dazzling spot in those black balls. She smiled.

  Then reality kicked his doors down. The enormity of her actions. Forgiven or not. He started to shudder, felt himself buckle under the pressure of his emotions.

  “Geoff?” she said.

  “Oh, Nia.”

  “Geoff, I was kidding,” she said.

  “Nia...”

  Her long finger poked his side. “You idiot.”

  “Nia...” he felt himself start to cry.

  “Geoff?”

  He cried, buried himself into her shoulder so she couldn’t see his stupid face.

  “Geoff, baby, get off me,” she said, but he clutched her tighter.

  “Geoff. Geoff! You fuckin...you think I sucked a guy’s cock for a job?”

  He clenched his face shut tight. He breathed her in, inhaled her deeply until his chest couldn’t swell any larger. He was crying but his exhale turned to a chuckle.

  He felt her remorse in her. She knew that wasn’t funny. She knew it could seem very real.

  “You weren’t joking,” he whispered.

  “Geoff, look at me...”

  He pulled back and saw her face underneath him, she said, “I did not suck a cock for a job okay?”

  “Why would you do that to me?”

  “You liked it.”

  “Baby, no I didn’t.”

  “You thought it was real and you didn’t stop.”

  “No.”

  “You were okay with it. When you thought I was serious, you were still okay.”

  “I love you.”

  “Geoff,” she said and he saw a sadness in her too and she hugged herself to him. “I’m sorry. That was mean. I thought it was hot, but it was mean.”

  “It was hot, I guess.”

  “Was it?”

  He couldn’t answer. Too ashamed to answer.

  “I didn’t even get to the part where I was going to tell you how big he was. You like that.”

  “He was big?” he said and he rolled off her, his cock sliding from inside her. He fell to his back and covered his face with his forearm.

  “He had a big one, Geoff.”

  “Oh, Nia,” he said and laughed.

  She kissed his chest and he opened his eyes and moved his arm and looked at her. She was smiling and she kissed his chest again and let him see her do it, held his eyes. “I love you, Geoff.”

  He took her and held her against him, let her sit in the cradle of his arm and rest her head on his shoulder, she put her hand up on him.

  He lay like that for a long while, felt himself get sleepy. He watched the ceiling and thought about this woman he loved so much and how it felt to hold her and feel her amazing beauty against him.

  He’d thought that was real. Thought his wife was so dirty, so stupid, she would suck a cock for a job. And in that perceived reality, he was okay with it. Loved her just the same. Part of him in a way, sadly, even liked th—

  “Geoff?”

  “Yeah?”

  “You thought I sucked another man’s cock.”

  “You told me th—”

  “You were okay with it.”

  “I know. I love you.”

  “In a way...I thought you would.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I thought you—”

  “Was that a test?” He felt mad now.

  “No. Not on purpose. Maybe...”

  “You want to suck someone’s cock? You wanted to know if I would be okay?”

  “I don’t know.” She sat up and leaned over him. She kissed her bunched fingers and to
uched them to his lips. He kissed them. “I know that if I ever really want to sometime, I can. You’ll be okay with it.”

  “Nia,” he said, trying to get her to be serious.

  She laughed and stood up in just her bra in front of him, let him see her incredible body.

  “Interesting,” she laughed.

  “Nia,” he said again, sternly.

  She gave him her back, swayed her hips and showed him her perfect woman ass. She sashayed to the bathroom door, giving him a show and watching him over her shoulder.

  “Wow, Geoff, I wonder who it’ll be...”

  She closed herself into the bathroom and he heard the tap running and heard her laughing to herself over the rushing water.

  Part II

  Bachelorette

  5

  Fat Girl Night

  Monday, May 29th

  GEOFF

  Geoff snuck out of bed while Nia was splashing in the shower and got down to the kitchen, excited to make her bacon and eggs. It was four fucking forty-five in the morning and while he dreamed of doing this every morning, man, he liked to sleep.

  It was Nia’s first day of work at the pool company. She was supposed to be there at 7 A.M., wanted to be there at six-thirty, so she set the alarm for a quarter after four. Why did she want to go back to work again?

  He fried up some bacon and he scrambled some eggs, made toast, poured them each a short glass of fresh squeezed OJ he got down at the Village Juicery. It was ready as Nia came into the kitchen.

  “You...I thought I smelled bacon,” she beamed and clapped her hands once.

  He casually waved his hand above the mini-feast he’d made her, one direction then the other, showing off all that he’d prepared. Her happy face was worth being up at this ridiculous hour.

  He said, “Come on and sit with me before you go.”

  The table was set with napkins and cutlery and he even had a flower and some fern leaves in a little vase. Their kitchen was small and narrow, the table part of a booth by a tall window that looked out over the roof of the garage that was his studio. Couldn’t see it, too dark, just the purple-black of its roof against solid black.

  “Geoff, you’re the fuckin best,” she said and she put her arms around him, kicked a high heel behind her and smacked his lips with hers in a wonderful but exaggerated kiss. He knew she’d left a nice print on him in her sexy shade of burgundy. She was dressed professionally for work, dark wool skirt and tights, low heels, a dark sweater. She looked stunning.

  “Look at you, Nia. You look amazing, honey.” He sat her down at the table then took a seat in the booth across from her and wiped her lipstick with his napkin. “Don’t get used to it, it’s way too early. You can stop at Tim’s from now on, get a coffee and a bagel...”

  “Thank you, Geoff. I’m just glad to see you,” she said, chewing the end of a piece of bacon, her lips peeled in a snarl so she wouldn’t get grease on them. “I’m going to miss you today. We’ve spent, like, almost every day together for how long now?”

  “I don’t know. Eight years?” He held his stomach. “It’s hurting my stomach thinking about it. I’m going to miss you so much.” She ate her eggs and her bacon, had her coffee. He asked her, “Hey, are you the only girl that works there?”

  “No, there’s a girl in the retail part and there was a woman who I did my paperwork with. Administration of some kind. I don’t think she liked me.”

  “Nobody likes the new pretty girl.”

  “She was older. I think she was friends with the person who did the job before me.”

  They were almost done and he jumped up, said, “Hang on, hang on, almost forgot.” He went to the cupboard and he brought out a tall box with wrapping paper and a ribbon on it, right around on all sides and a bow on top.

  “Aw, Geoff, really? What’d you get me?”

  “Here, just pop the top off, babe.”

  She ran a nail around the paper at the seam where she felt the lid and wiggled the top off pushing the ribbon over the corners so she could pull out what was inside.

  “A thermos, Geoff?” She looked at him wryly holding the thermos he’d bought her.

  “It’s a good one, Nia. All the workmen use them. This is top of the line and I thought you’d like the lumberjack plaid.”

  She shook her head and smiled at him, said, “I’m an executive you know, I’m not working with concrete.”

  “I know. It was meant to be kind of funny,” he laughed.

  “Oh, ha, yeah, I get it,” she joked with him.

  “Tell me you’re not going to use it,” he said.

  “It’s useful, I know. I will use it every day and I will think of you, baby,” she said as she got up and bent and kissed him again, right on his lips. “Did you hide a camera in it or something?”

  “No. Listening device.”

  “You crafty bugger.” She kissed him again, kissed him with a smile.

  “I can’t believe you’re going to work at this time. I’m going back to bed the minute you’re gone.”

  “Odele’s up in—” she checked her watch, “in two hours. Don’t sleep late, you gotta get her to school.”

  “Yeah, yeah, don’t worry about me. I’m Mr. Mom now. Happily. Fill that with coffee this morning,” he said, nodding with his chin to the thermos. “You’re an exec but you’re out in the field all day with the swinging dicks. Gotta be on your toes.”

  “Swinging d—Geoff, this is my job, okay?” she laughed. “I get your fantasy stuff but let’s be serious. You think I’m there to suck off all those guys or something?”

  “No. Swinging dicks is a term. People use it.”

  “Okay.”

  He smiled, said, “You might want to get used to that language.”

  “All the swinging dicks talk like that?”

  He laughed at that, she could be as foul-mouthed as they come, “Ah, come on, baby, this is tough for me too, at least I’ve found a way for it to work for me.”

  “Creep.”

  “You married me.”

  “I love you. Think your dirty thoughts today. I’ll see you when I get home.”

  “What time?”

  “He said I don’t have to work past five.”

  “Love you.”

  “Love you too.”

  She left him. Opened the door and went out with her bag and her thermos tucked under her arm, a cool blast of fresh spring air not yet touched by the sun wafted back at him and made him shiver. Her heels clicked down the stairs and then down between the house and the studio into the dark. He heard the Volvo start then the lights came on. His homebody wife leaving for her new life before the sun even came up.

  NIA

  When she was stuck in traffic on the Gardiner, surprised to see so many people out so early, she started to regret ever getting a job. Right now, at this time, for the last eight years, she would still be in bed. Then she and Geoff would get up whenever, no alarm clock. They’d have some breakfast, get Odele off to school. Some days, before Geoff would start drawing, they’d walk out to Roncesvalles and go to the bakery and have their breakfast there. Fresh bagels right from the oven, the smoothest cream cheese, and their coffee was really good too. No strict agenda, nothing hectic. Geoff put in the hours—really put in the hours, like seven days a week a lot of the time, but he made his own schedule.

  But by the time she rolled into the work yard, thankfully early despite the slow traffic, she started to get excited. Her stomach was cramped a little from the anxiety, the fear of the unknown, but underneath it all was a desire for something new, even if it might seem a little scary at first.

  It was still dark, the morning just starting to brighten. Shapes in the yard were black, the metal edges rimmed with a liquid white light as the sun came up and made the sky a cold grey-blue. She could see the Rocco-shape, distinct from the other shapes in their ball cap silhouettes. More than a head taller, his big strong body pointing and jabbing and she could tell he was shouting. The trucks were running, pu
shing out wet exhaust into the chill morning air, four of them on one side, guys running around holding pumps and jugs, then a dump truck on the other side with a tractor loading aggregate into it from a pile at the edge of the yard.

  She pulled around and parked the Volvo in a marked spot behind the brick retail and office building. She checked herself in the mirror and inhaled, looked at her own eyes go wide. She smiled. She grabbed her bag and Geoff’s sweet thermos and she locked up and crossed the yard heading for Rocco.

  When she was halfway there, he boomed, “Mornin,” and he looked like he was smiling. He was dressed the same as the last time she’d seen him, in jeans and a black T-shirt. Probably with the sleeves cut off but he was wearing a jacket this morning, thick cotton duck, faded and worn with use.

  “Good morning,” she said, her voice thin and brittle in the chilly air, dwarfed and crushed by the banging of tractors and revving engines and reverse beeps. How was he so audible?

  “Come here,” he said, and as she got to him he put his huge hand across her back and stood side by side with her. He pointed past the gravel piles at a pickup truck there, huge tires, lifted right up off its suspension. He shouted, “You and me gotta head out to Concord—that’s my truck, go get in there and wait for me, I’ll just be a minute.”

  “Okay,” she shouted over the noise.

  He slapped her ass lightly but he knocked her forward with his power and she stumbled. She yelped but it was lost in the din.

  “Thanks for being early,” he said, and she looked back, saw his serious face and he nodded to her.

  She adjusted her skirt as she walked across the yard in her heels, worried about all these trucks whipping around. Her eyes had adjusted though to the low morning light and the sun was making it up into the sky now and she could at least see where she was going.

  She made it to the truck, now standing in front of it. It was a lot bigger than she’d thought standing by Rocco across the yard. Full-size, four door, blacked out, lifted so high she didn’t know how she was going to climb in there in her skirt. The tires were as high as her waist. She reached up and opened the door, then threw her bag and Geoff’s thermos into the footwell. She looked up into the cabin, one hand on the leather seat and put her other hand on the armrest of the open door. She couldn’t pull herself up into it without putting a foot up on the lip but that would ride her skirt up and she’d practically be doing the splits. Then there was a hand on her ass, lifting her, and she pulled with her arms. Rocco behind her, helping her in, and she bent her legs, felt his other hand on the back of her thigh just above her knee as he lifted her right in to the truck. She flinched as he pinched her ass as he set her down on the passenger seat.