A Very Alpha Christmas

by Anthology

  Mr. Marley shook his head. “She went to pick up your sister, but her train was delayed. Snow.”

  “How is Caroline liking school?” Eric asked.

  “Well enough. I think. Certainly better than her freshman year.”

  “That’s good to hear. I was starting to worry. She called me almost every other day,” Eric said.

  Jake raised his eyebrows, and then took a swig of his drink.

  “Well, would you speak of the devil?” Mr. Marley nodded toward the door and his wife shuffled through, spots of snow highlighting the streaks of grey in her light blond hair.

  Then Eric’s breath caught.

  Even now, two years later, he was shocked by the transformation.

  Behind Mrs. Marley was a girl—no, not a girl, a woman—so beautiful that he could hardly look anywhere else. He felt like one of those cartoon characters with his jaw on the floor and his eyes bulging out of his head. Like he’d been magnetized to the spot where she stood and he was powerless to do anything but gape and yearn to get closer.

  He likely felt the same then as he did now—guilty, but nevertheless compelled. Because his best friend’s little sister—the girl he’d grown up with—had grown into the most gorgeous person on the planet.

  The familiar sprigs of holly were fixed in her hair, but even that looked different. She’d added blunt bangs and her hair looked glossier, fuller. When she shook the snow from her strands, she looked like she was posing for a picture.

  But when she took off her coat? That was when he was a real goner.

  Beneath her plain black pea coat was a slinky red number he’d never seen before and Jesus...

  Her breasts were full, her waist lean, and if he could just get a look at her backside—

  He remembered every thought distinctly, painfully. They were still the thoughts he had when he was around her. Except now he had more lustful memories to add to the mix.

  All because of this night.

  After the initial pleasantries, he’d made a point of getting as far away from her as humanly possible. For a while he’d danced around her, biding his time by talking to Mr. and Mrs. Marley, Jake, and any of his other fellow employees. Anyone to distract himself from Caroline’s all-too-alluring presence.

  All the while, though, he’d catch himself staring at her at random moments. Sometimes she’d catch him, too, and when she stepped toward him, he darted away again. Watching himself, Eric felt the pain, the panic all over again and, silly as it was, he caught himself wondering if Ghost-Jake knew what was going on.

  If he’d been caught red handed.

  It was the deepest, darkest secret of his life, and here he was, inching closer and closer to the climax. The party started to peter out, her parents went home, and Jake slipped away with one of the assistants. Eric was ready to breathe a sigh of relief when Caroline suddenly cornered him, and his heart—then and now—nearly burst from his chest.

  “Are you avoiding me?” she asked.

  He stared at her hair for a moment, trying to evade her penetrating blue gaze, but then said, “No, what, are you crazy?”

  “Maybe, but all I know is that it’s been hours and you’ve barely said hello.”

  “Well, hello.” He glanced at her cup, then instantly regretted it when he caught a glimpse down her dress.

  The bra beneath the fabric was just as red as her dress, though it was considerably lacier. And, if he saw it right, it was also see-through. He remembered the way his groin had twitched at the sight of it, and he shuffled backward a few steps, and then pointed to the cup.

  “What do you have there?”

  “Pinot. Admittedly, it’s not very good, but…” She shrugged.

  “Since when did you drink? Are you even allowed?”

  She laughed. “I’ll be 21 in two months. You know that.”

  “Doesn’t mean you’re 21 now.”

  “Like you waited until the stroke of midnight.” She cocked an eyebrow and he relented, raising his hands in front of him.

  “All right, all right. Just don’t let your brother know I let you get away with it.”

  She rolled her eyes. “When will you stop acting like I’m twelve?”

  He swallowed hard, and his thoughts were practically written across his face:

  Believe me, I wish you still looked twelve.

  Still, he said, “I’m your brother’s best friend. I’m supposed to look out for you.”

  She took another step toward him. “No, that’s his job. Your only job is to be my friend.”

  “Right. Well, as my friend, keep it from your brother, would you?”

  “Whatever you say,” she said. She scrunched her mouth to the side again.

  How had he never noticed the way she did that? Or how cute it made her look?

  She glanced around the room. “Looks like the party’s dead. We ran out of booze and my cup is almost empty. You have any in your office?”

  “Only champagne for big deals.”

  “Christmas is a big deal,” she sing-songed.

  “You want to drink company champagne?”

  “No, I want to drink champagne. It’s just a coincidence that it belongs to the company.” She wiggled the cup between her fingers. “Come on. To your health.”

  “Fine, fine.” He led her into his office, which was just beside her father’s.

  “Swanky. A little impersonal, though, don’t you think?” She glanced around at his bare walls. There wasn’t anything but the phone and computer on his desk.

  “Keeps me focused.” He pulled the bottle from his bottom drawer along with two flutes. “Now, we can drink company champagne, but I draw the line at drinking it from red cups. You may still be in college, but I’m not.”

  “Actually, I’m graduating early. I’ll only be going for another year.”

  “Why?”

  “It’s not really my style. I’d rather be working and home. Around the family. You know, with Jake.” There was a pause, and then she added, “And you.”

  His younger self poured the champagne, but his reality stared back at Jake. He couldn’t bear the suspense any longer. “Did you know about this?”

  Jake didn’t answer.

  His younger self handed a glass to Caroline, and she clicked it against his own. “To another Christmas together.”

  “Cheers,” he countered, and then swallowed the flute’s contents in one gulp.

  In the dim light of his office, she looked even better than before. The sweet pink flush on her cheeks brought out the blue of her eyes, and when she sat on the corner of his desk, he caught a glimpse of her creamy white inner thigh.

  “Can I talk to you?” she asked.

  “Say no,” he told his past self, though he knew it wouldn’t change a damn thing.

  “Of course,” he said. Like the idiot he was.

  She sipped her drink, and then set it on the desk beside her. “What’s your type?”

  “You have guy trouble?”

  “Maybe. But I asked about you.”

  “Um, okay. Well, I like girls who are funny. And smart. Pretty, too.”

  She considered him for a moment, took another sip. “All right, so suppose you met someone who you thought was hilarious, beautiful, and interesting, but you didn’t think they’d go for you. What would you do?”

  “I’d try anyway.”

  “Even if you thought it might ruin something? Or change something?”

  He knew what she was getting at. He couldn’t deny it now, any more than he’d been able to that night. He tried to convince himself he didn’t know why he’d said it. At one time, he was even dumb enough to try to think he didn’t know who she meant. When it stared at him blow for blow, though, there was no denying it. He’d goaded her because he wanted it—wanted her—just as much—maybe even more—than she wanted him.

  So, when the answer slipped from his lips, he closed his eyes and awaited the inevitable. “Wouldn’t it still be better to not have to wonder if something could
happen?”

  She stared at him, and then rolled to her feet. “I guess.”

  The pink on her cheeks became a full-blown red and then she bounded toward him, grabbed both sides of his face, and pulled him into a kiss.

  He remembered knowing that he should push her away, that he should have pounced on the opportunity to clarify, to set things right. But he wouldn’t. More than that, he couldn’t. As soon as his lips met hers, it was as if something that had been buried deep, deep inside him had unearthed itself, and he could never un-see it again.

  Slowly, his arms wound around her, crushing her to his chest, pulling her into the kiss even more. He cupped her neck, mussing the holly in her hair, but he was far too lost in her to care. She was too sweet, too warm, too right.

  He rolled his tongue over her bottom lip, and then pushed her back against the desk, grinding himself against her pliable, soft skin. Watching, he could remember every little sensation. The thrill that had gone through him when she jumped onto that desk and opened her legs just wide enough for him to stand between them, take her in his arms, and kiss her until they both forgot how wrong it was.

  How, in a single moment of recklessness, he could lose everything—his best friend, his job, his family—all for this one moment of dark surrender.

  “Pull it together,” his present self choked out, but it was no use. He was nipping at her earlobe, savoring every tiny, shaking breath she took. He was on the verge of sliding his hands lower, cupping her breasts, pulling aside those tiny, tempting panties.

  “Stop,” he was nearly begging himself, but the damage was done. When he finally pushed Caroline away, they were both panting, their eyes hooded by heavy lids.

  “Eric,” she breathed, “I’ve always wanted—”

  “We can’t. What about Jake?” He was speaking quickly, and even now he knew why. He had to get it out before the tide pulled him under again. Before he forgot how to say it—or why.

  Caroline’s brow knitted together. “What about him? He’s a grown man.”

  “Your father—”

  “Will be thrilled.” She reached out to touch him, but he stepped away from her reach. Her rosy cheeks paled, and then she slowly pulled her knees together and hopped from the desk as he went on.

  “It’s a bad idea. A mistake. I shouldn’t have—”

  “Eric, please. Don’t you...don’t you want to be with me?” Her voice was so small, so timid.

  Now, seeing it over again, he wanted to cup her cheek, to kiss that tremor of pain away. He saw the urge in his old self, too. But he knew now just as he’d known then that he couldn’t. She was his apple in the Garden of Eden. If he plucked her from the branch, his whole life would crumble around him.

  No matter how tempting she was.

  “Of course I want to be with you,” his younger self said. “You’re beautiful and smart and...”

  “Funny?” she finished, but there was a note of defeat in her voice that hadn’t been there before.

  “You can’t do this to me. You know this isn’t right.”

  “But I asked you—”

  “Tricked me, more like.” His voice was like a slap, sharp and stinging. “Now we have to stop. I can’t. I mean, we can’t—If it didn’t work, I’d lose everything. Jake and your parents, they’d hate me. We have to forget this ever happened. It never happened, okay?”

  “No,” she whispered, and then louder, “it happened. This was real and it’s not enough. I’ve waited for you for so long. I don’t want to wait anymore.”

  He didn’t either. He didn’t want to walk away, and even now he felt the sting of saying no to her. But what choice did he have? He only had one second chance at a family. If he lost that…

  “Then don’t wait.” His voice was icy. “Put it out of your head because it’s never going to happen.”

  He waited for her reply, but instead everything spun and he was once again flooded in light.

  3

  He was panting as if he’d just run a race, and yet when he tried to move, it was like he’d been lying in his chair all night. His limbs were tight and stiff, his neck ached, and still his heart was racing.

  What the hell had just happened?

  Jake knew about that night with Caroline? He knew—

  But no, Jake didn’t know anything. That person had been a ghost or a figment or something.

  What was he saying? It hadn’t been any of that. It had been a dream. Everything.

  Eric glanced at the photo on his desk, taken only minutes before he and Caroline had left the office that night. They all had looked so happy. So normal.

  He shook his head. He couldn’t let something as stupid as a dream get the better of him. Hell, for all he knew someone in the office had left the radio on and some Christmas story worked its way into his thoughts.

  That was much more likely than ghosts or shadows or whatever Jake had called himself.

  He gripped the edge of his desk and eased his way to standing. Maybe he’d just check the cubicles for that radio or TV or whatever. Not that he was concerned, but he certainly wasn’t about to fall back into that loony trap if he happened to doze off a second time.

  He trudged toward the door, turned the knob, and then-—

  Bright light flooded the room again, and he shielded his eyes with one arm while slamming the door with the other.

  “What the—?” He leaned against the back of the entry, panting again.

  He was going crazy. Absolutely bonkers.

  “You’re okay, I promise.” A willowy feminine voice sounded from across the room, and then she was there. Sitting at his desk, holly pinned in her hair.

  Caroline.

  She crossed one leg over the other, and then placed her folded hands in her lap.

  “I—” Eric spluttered, then stopped. “You...”

  “I’m the ghost of Christmas present.” She nodded.

  He might have given it up as some elaborate prank, but after everything Jake had showed him...

  No, there was no pretending anymore. This was real. He had to give in.

  “Why you?” he asked.

  She shrugged, and a lock of her golden hair fell over one shoulder. Unlike Jake, she looked exactly like herself. She was slender, all the awkwardness of her youth gone, replaced instead by the curves he was still dying to explore.

  She glanced up at him through thick, dark lashes. “Only you really know. I only know the present. Sort of a raw deal considering Jake got the whole past to pick from.”

  “Story of your life.” Eric smiled.

  “Tell me about it.” She grinned back at him. “So, are you ready?”

  He considered for a moment, remembering everything he’d already seen. The night with the photo album, their near-tryst...

  “Almost. I think I need to talk to you first.”

  “Not me,” she corrected. “You need to talk to Caroline. But there will be time for that. We have to get going. So, are you ready?”

  “Yes.” He nodded, because he was ready. Or, at least, he was as ready as he could ever be. After re-living some of the most painful memories of his life, the present couldn’t possibly be worse than the past.

  At least, he hoped not.

  Luckily, he didn’t have too much time to think on it, because as soon as he gave the word, the room was bathed in light again.

  This time, she didn’t grab his arm. In fact, neither of them moved. In a fraction of a second, they were in his dimly lit, empty office and in the next they were standing outside of it, watching Bobbi as she shuffled through papers outside his door.

  “Why is she here? Isn’t it Christmas?” he asked.

  To look at her, he’d hardly have guessed it. The tinsel tree on the corner of her desk was gone, and her constant stream of Christmas music was nowhere to be heard. There was only the hum of the copier and the occasional click of her keyboard.

  She hadn’t even worn sweats to work. Her hair was pulled into a tight bun and she donned a bland,
grey dress.

  “She came in to work. She had nowhere else to go,” Caroline said.

  “Nowhere...but she didn’t mention that.”

  “Well, no. Who would tell Scrooge McBoss their personal problems in a place like this? She moved to the city with her boyfriend, but he dumped her. Her family always vacations in Europe over the holidays, but she couldn’t make it in time.”

  “So she’s all alone for Christmas?” A twinge of sympathy coiled in his stomach, though he couldn’t say why. After all, he was alone for Christmas, too, wasn’t he? Hadn’t he said—?

  “Almost all alone,” Caroline corrected him, and as if on cue, he watched himself stalk from his office and stare down at Bobbi.

  “Have you heard from Angelica?” he asked, but the expression on his face was one he didn’t think he was capable of making. When had he ever looked so severe? So stern? His brows were pulled over his blue eyes so tightly that he even made himself uncomfortable.

  Bobbi nodded. “She called twice this morning.”

  “And?”

  God, what was wrong with him? He was practically barking at the poor girl, and for what? Some stupid phone call to a woman who had ice water running through her veins.

  “No complications so far, but she’s having trouble assembling the board of trustees.”

  He scoffed.

  Scoffed.

  ”Is this really what I’m like?” he asked Caroline, but she only shrugged.

  “I don’t know. I haven’t seen you in a while.”

  “Well, I’ve seen enough. Just...show me something else. Show me what you’re doing. What Jake’s doing.”

  The world blended and blurred around them, and then they were in the Marleys’ tiny dining room off the kitchen. Outside, snow was coming down in blankets, and Caroline was standing at the picture window, staring at the scene while holding dinner dishes in each hand.

  “You okay?” She and Eric turned as one to find Jake standing in the kitchen doorway.

  “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine.” She nodded, though her voice was distant, and she didn’t quite meet his gaze.

  Apparently, Jake noticed as much because he walked toward her and took the plates from her hands.

  Setting them down on the table, he asked, “What’s up?”