by Anthology
Instead, he said simply, “Hey, Caroline, I was just calling to let you know I changed my mind. Set a place for me tonight.” He paused, feeling like there had to be something, anything else for him to add.
“I—” He closed his mouth, licked his bottom lip, and then started again. “I can’t wait to listen to your dad tell us how he met your mom. Don’t forget to put the holly in your hair.”
He clicked off, feeling the now-familiar mix of excitement and stupidity settle in while he replayed his evening in his mind yet again. There was just so much to think about. So much to make up for and—
“Shit.” He pulled off onto a side street.
He was doing it again. Being selfish.
There were more people in his life than just he and Jake and Caroline. The path to making things right didn’t start at Caroline’s door, even if it did end there.
He pulled up the contact info in his phone, and then set off for Brooklyn.
The place was beyond out of his way, and between the droves of people caroling and making merry on the city streets on their way to church, he nearly gave up on his plan and headed straight for the train station.
But then he remembered the Christmas he would have had. Bobbi, all somber and drained of her Christmas spirit. Alone.
He’d been so mean to her yesterday, and if he was being honest with himself, he knew the man he’d been yesterday would be no different whether or not he’d known about Bobbi’s boyfriend leaving her.
It hurt to admit, but it was the truth.
Not anymore, though.
He stopped in front of a tiny, forgotten-looking building. It was slight compared to the ones around it, thinner and shorter, but it made up for its scant appearance by having twice as many Christmas lights as any place on the block.
Like the Marleys’ house.
After trudging through the already-browning city snow, he made his way up the meager concrete stairs and knocked on the little circle in the middle of the wreath.
Luckily, it was Bobbi who answered the door. When she saw him, her eyes widened, and her jaw slacked before she glanced down at her Powerpuff Girls pajamas.
“I was not expecting you,” she said. Then, stammering, she added, “I mean, I’m not unhappy to see you or anything, but—”
“It’s okay.” He held up a hand. “I know it’s sort of a shock.”
“C-can I help you with anything?”
“Well, if I could step inside?” He glanced up at the snow still fluttering from the sky. “It’s pretty nippy out here.”
“Right, of course. Let me just...” She moved aside and gestured for him to step through.
He wiped his feet and entered, glancing around her little yellow foyer. It was a pretty home. Quaint, but cozy. He could only see a sliver of the living room through the cracked door but the first thing that caught his eye was a picture of Bobbi and a man hung over the mantle.
“Did you want to talk about the merger?” she asked.
At the mention, he nearly shivered, thinking back to his cold Christmas-that-might-have-been. “Not right now. Actually, I came because I heard about your boyfriend.”
“Oh, well...” She blinked, and then glanced down at her pajamas again. “I’m flattered, but you are my boss and—”
He held up his hand. “No, no, no. Not like that. I only heard that you couldn’t make it home this Christmas. I feel partially to blame for that, and I’d like to make it up to you.”
He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out an envelope. Inside, he’d placed a check big enough for her whole family to go anywhere they liked, and when she opened it, she glanced at it, then him, and back again.
“I can’t accept this. I don’t—”
“You can and you will. You’ve done a great job. It would be horrible for me not to acknowledge that. Still, I don’t think you have enough time to get to Europe by the end of the day, so I was wondering if you might want to celebrate Christmas with my family today.”
“I thought you were working today?”
“It’s Christmas,” he said. “Nobody should work on Christmas.”
“But the merger—”
“Let me worry about that. Now, are you coming or not?” He raised an eyebrow, and she ran her hands over the front of her pajamas.
“Um, uh, yeah. Sure. I’ll just change.”
“Great. I’m parked right in front. I’ll see you in a minute.”
He stepped back out into the street, and as he went for his car, he dialed his phone again. This time, the person on the other end answered and immediately sailed into a diatribe.
“I was wondering when you’d be up. Listen, I was thinking we should do lunch today to go over the finer points. I’m reading your e-mails and half of them don’t make any sense. Frankly, I’m starting to think you were hitting the eggnog last night.” Angelica Reed’s crystalline voice rattled on.
“Actually, I won’t be in the office today,” he said. “That’s what I was calling about.”
“That’s a mistake.” She said it like she was reciting the state capital. A matter of fact.
“I’m sorry you feel that way—”
“I don’t feel that way. I know. These are time-sensitive issues that—”
“Will still be there tomorrow. Though, frankly, I don’t intend to return to the office until the New Year. My employees have been working hard and they deserve a rest.”
“Let them rest when they’re dead. Or when their office is on the top of the biggest skyscraper in New York. This deal will not be waiting for you when the New Year starts.”
“There will be others. And if not, this company has a long, successful history.”
“Of stagnating.”
“Of standing strong. You know, you and your staff could probably use a break, too. Why don’t you consider enjoying your holiday?”
“Just because you’ve gone insane doesn’t mean you have to convert me, too.”
“All right, well, you think it over. And Merry Christmas to you.”
“Wait—that’s it? Merry Christmas and the biggest deal in your professional life is over? You’re just going to walk away?” For the first time, there was a hint of baffled humanity in her voice.
Eric smiled. “For now? Yes.”
“I don’t understand you.”
“I hope you will one day.”
Bobbi stepped onto her stoop and swung the door closed behind her. “Ready.” She grinned.
“Me too,” he said, and then clicked off his phone.
5
It was hard to say which part of his trip felt longer – the train from the city into Connecticut, or the car ride from the station into the little burrow he used to call home.
The whole way, he’d tried to distract himself by asking about Bobbi. What did her family normally do for Christmas? What were her favorite traditions?
Try as he might, though, all his stalling wasn’t able to clear Caroline and the rest of the Marleys from his mind.
When they’d waited outside the station for the car to pick them up, he’d even tried to call her again to ensure she’d gotten his message, but it was no use. After only two rings, his phone bleeped and died, and he looked down at it with mounting despair.
Now, with the car pulling onto the main road of tiny shops before the neighborhood where the Marleys lived, his heart was beginning to thrum even louder in his chest. Blood pounded in his ears and he clenched his fists, trying again – and failing – to come up with what he’d say when he saw them all.
“So, have you sent any Christmas gifts yet?” Bobbi’s voice broke through his thoughts, and he blinked until he finally registered what she’d said.
And then his heart had a whole new reason to pound.
Gifts.
He’d been so caught up in his failings and the things he needed to do that he hadn’t remembered to pick up the presents from his house before he left. He’d meant to send them weeks ago, but he simply never got to it, and n
ow that the time had come…?
“Shit. Could you pull over, please?” he asked the driver, and the man nodded before pulling in front of the tiny mom-and-pop drug store he and the Marleys used to visit for penny candy when they’d been kids.
“I guess this is my best option.” He sighed. “I’ll be right back.”
He rushed from the car and into the store, skimming the rows of magazines and potato chips. There was a rack of As-Seen-On-TV products, but nothing looked even remotely good enough.
He could tell them all what had happened, but how could he show up empty-handed on Christmas? He couldn’t, especially not this Christmas.
So he rushed down the holiday aisle, pushing himself to pick and choose his gifts with as much thought as time would allow. Once he was through the checkout and the bag was in his hand, though, he didn’t feel too terrible about his choices.
Which meant there was really only one thing left to do.
He took it all back. The train ride, the car ride – none of it compared to the length of that five-minute stretch before they finally pulled up at the Marleys’ house. For a moment, he only stared. It was mid-afternoon and already the lights outside the house were shining, putting all the neighbors to shame as usual.
“It’s beautiful,” Bobbi said from behind him, and he nodded, knowing she expected him to move.
He let out a deep breath, reached into his coat pocket, and pulled an extra hundred dollars from his billfold. Handing it to the driver, he wished the man a Merry Christmas and then, with one final burst of courage, he stepped onto the sidewalk.
Bobbi followed close behind him. “So, this is where Mr. Marley lives?”
“Only Mr. Marley Sr. Jake is here for the holidays, though.” He nodded. “You missed him since he left?”
“Yes and no. I don’t miss the secretaries all arguing over who deserved to be with him.”
Eric smiled, even though he was only half-listening. He was too focused on what would happen when he knocked on that door. And then, in no time and eternity, he was standing exactly where his mother had stood all those years ago.
He knocked once, twice, and then set in for the long, hard task of waiting. He glanced at Bobbi, scrambling to find a topic to fill the time, and then the door swung open and Caroline was in front of him at last.
She was wearing her mother’s apron and a smear of flour covered one cheek. Her golden hair was twisted in a messy knot on top of her head, the holly not yet fixed against her curls.
She glanced from him to Bobbi and back again; then her eyes widened and she seemed to remember she ought to have been smiling. “Eric,” she stammered. “I thought you couldn’t make it.”
“I left a message—”
“Come in, come in. Your guest must be cold. We have coffee. I’ll get Jake.” The words practically tumbled over each other as she spoke, and within the span of a minute she was scurrying from the living room, leaving them in her wake.
“Actually, I—” he tried, but it was too late. Jake was advancing on them, his normally playful expression torn between happiness and confusion.
“Eric.” The word was icy, but then his gaze fell on Bobbi and he eased the slightest bit. “And Bobbi. What a surprise. I’m happy to see you again.”
She nodded. “Me too.”
“Here, let me take your coat.” He held out his hand for her and she obliged, slipping quickly from her tweed cocoon. “My sister has hot coffee ready in the kitchen if you’d like a cup.” Jake smiled.
“That’d be great.” She skirted past them and when she was safely out of sight, Jake took another step toward him.
“What’s going on? If you’re here to talk about this merger, I told you—”
Eric shook his head. “No. It’s Christmas.”
Jake frowned. He wasn’t about to let Eric off that easy.
Eric spread his hands out in front of him. “Look, there is no merger.”
“W-what do you mean? You’ve been—”
“I’ve been driving myself crazy over it. And everyone else around me, too. I’m done with that now.”
Jake’s frown deepened. “So why are you here?”
“I told you. It’s Christmas. I want to celebrate it with my family.”
Jake opened his mouth, and then closed it again.
“Also, I wanted to apologize,” Eric finished, and the rush of relief washed over him with so much intensity that he could hardly believe it himself. “I...I pushed you too hard. We should have been friends first and partners second. I forgot that. I understand if you never want to work with me again, but if you do ever want to come back, you should know you’ll always have a place, and it will always be on your terms.”
“Well,” Jake furrowed his eyebrows. “I’m not sure what to say.”
“Start by forgiving me?”
“Of course I forgive you. That was never a question.” Jake crinkled his nose. “I just don’t understand. What changed?”
He shrugged. “I finally listened. That’s all.”
At that, Jake finally grinned. “I’m glad. Now come on, Mom and Dad will be thrilled to see you.”
Jake grabbed him by the bicep, but Eric shook his head. “Actually, I was hoping to talk to Caroline. Do you think you could entertain Bobbi for a little while?”
“Oh, yeah, Bobbi. Is that—I mean, is she—?” Jake raised his eyebrows.
“She’s not with me. Or anyone, actually. She’s fresh off a break up and word around here is that you could use some love yourself. What do you think?”
“I think that sister of mine has a big mouth.” Jake laughed. “But I’ll entertain her if it helps you.”
“Thanks, man. Really.”
They walked into the kitchen side-by-side and Jake made some excuse to have Bobbi rejoin him in the living room. What the excuse was, Eric couldn’t be entirely sure. He was too busy losing his mind to pay attention to the details.
He’d finally be alone with Caroline.
And he still had no idea what to say.
When Bobbi and Jake had gone, Eric and Caroline stood across from each other for a long moment, the tiny circular table serving as a buffer between them. Caroline ran her hand over the smear of flour on her cheek, but the mark only got worse instead of better.
For some strange reason, that made a smile pull at his lips.
She cleared her throat. “I’m so sorry. If I’d known we were going to have company, I would have tidied up or, you know, looked better.” She wiped her hands over the front of her apron.
“It’s okay. You always look great.”
Her cheeks flamed in spite of the flour. “Well, I don’t want your girlfriend to get the wrong impression of me.”
“She’s not my girlfriend.”
“She’s not?”
“No. She was alone for Christmas and I thought she might like a family to be near. Besides, I thought she might be a good match for Jake.”
“Good idea. I’ve been bothering him about getting a girlfriend.” She nodded, and then turned toward the sink and twisted on the faucet. While she ran her hands under the stream, he circled around the table and splashed his own hand under the spray.
Then, with his dry hand, he took her chin and tilted her face toward him. Carefully, he wiped the flour from her cheek. All the while, she stared up at him, her eyes still as big as saucers, and the moment he touched her, her pupils dilated and her breath shallowed.
Already, he wasn’t sure whose heart he heard beating – his or hers.
Absently, he twisted off the water, and said, “I need to talk to you.”
She nodded. “Okay.”
“I was thinking about the Christmas party. That night when you and I—”
“I never told anyone if that’s what you’re worried about. It’ll be our secret.” Her cheeks burned, and she started to pull away from him, but he took another step toward her. It was incredible, after all these years of resisting to finally be so close.
To feel her
breath against his skin when she spoke.
“No, it’s not about that. It’s just that I wanted to tell you I was wrong.” He stared into the sheer blueness of her eyes. If she took even one step closer, he’d be able to feel her breasts move as she breathed.
“What do you mean?” Her words were a whisper.
“I was wrong to keep that night a secret. To...keep you away.”
“But I thought—”
“It was stupid to ignore how beautiful you are. And smart. And funny.” He paused, watching the memory register in her face. Then, he went on, “Ever since that night, I haven’t been able to be in the same room with you without thinking about how good, how right, it felt to have you in my arms.”
“But you said Jake—”
“Is a grown man. You were right. And it was never really about him, anyway. The bottom line is that living without you isn’t good enough for me anymore. It’s not right. Caroline, it took me so long to realize it, but I’m in love with you and I hope you can forgive me for everything I’ve done.”
“There’s nothing to forgive,” she whispered, but then she took a step back. “I just need a minute here.” She dropped into one of the seats at the tiny round table, her hand clasped to her chest.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
She nodded. “I’m fine. I just...It feels like I’ve spent my whole life waiting for you to say that, but I never thought you really would. I never thought you loved me the way I...”
“The way you what?” He stepped toward her again, grabbing her by both arms and pulling her up against him.
“The way I love you,” she finished, and once he heard the words, he couldn’t stop himself.
He cupped her chin again and drew her to him, catching her lips in what felt like the most long-awaited kiss of his life. At once it was soft and sweet, but also deeply passionate. Like all the years they’d been waiting were tied up in a single moment.
He couldn’t say how long they stood there, their tongues roving over one another, pushing and pulling, wanting and needing, but all too soon he heard a pronounced cough behind him.
