Thurston House (1983)

by Steel, Danielle

  Will you be all right? He seemed concerned and she smiled.

  I believe I will. And then, with a warmer smile, I had a lovely time. Thank you very much. She shook his hand and he was suddenly aware of her perfume again. He had noticed it in his private car and he noticed again when he went back. It was an exotic spicy scent with a dollop of freshness and at the same time, deeply sensual. And it was so much like her that as he noticed it lingering in his private car late that night, it was almost as though she were still there with him. And he wished she were as they rolled along endlessly.

  The night seemed to never end as Jeremiah waited for the dawn to come, thinking of the elegant woman he had met, sleeping somewhere on the train. It had been a long time since he had been that taken with anyone, and he stepped down anxiously at their first stop, hoping to see her walking along the platform in the fresh morning air, but there were only a few maids with small dogs, one or two solitary men stretching their legs, and no sign of Amelia anywhere. He went back to his private car, feeling as disappointed as a small child, and then finally, at noon, he strolled the length of the train, and discovered her reading a book and sipping a cup of tea again.

  There you are! He said it almost as one would to a lost child, and she looked up at him with a broad smile.

  Have I been lost? He loved the look in her eyes as he smiled down at her.

  You have been to me. I've been looking for you all day.'

  I was right here. He was impatient to spend time with her, and he hastened her back to his private car. She didn't hesitate as she walked back with him, and suddenly he wondered if he was creating an awkward situation for her. He was a single man after all, and one never knew who might be on the train ' he so seldom thought of things like that, but he didn't want to cause Amelia any harm.

  Don't be silly, Jeremiah, I'm hardly a young girl. She pooh-poohed his concern with an elegant hand, and he noticed that she wore a remarkably pretty emerald today. He wondered that she wasn't afraid to wear her jewels on the train, but Amelia appeared to be totally unconcerned. Her mind was filled with pleasanter things than worrying about gossip or jewel thieves, or the fears that filled other women's minds. By the end of the second day they shared, Jeremiah was filled with admiration for her. He was almost sorry he hadn't met her years before, and he told her so. And as he said the words, she was touched, and her eyes caressed his face.

  What a lovely thing to say. '

  I meant every word. I've never known anyone like you before ' you've got more spirit than anyone? know, Amelia. His eyes were gentle on hers. Your husband was a lucky man.

  I was the lucky one. Her voice was as soft as a summer breeze, and Jeremiah held out a hand to her. They sat silently, with the countryside sliding by, looking into each other's eyes, the rest of the world lost to them.

  Have you never wanted to marry again?

  She shook her head with a gentle smile. Not really. I'm content as I am. I have the children to keep me happy and busy and fulfilled ' my house ' my friends. '

  There should be more than that. They exchanged another long smile, and he gently touched her fingers again. She had exquisite hands, it was no wonder her husband had given her such magnificent rings. They looked well on her, as did the expensive clothes she wore. And as he looked at her he suddenly wondered what it would have been like to be married to a woman like her. It was odd to think of her in Napa though ' coming home to her after working at the mines all day long.

  What were you thinking just then? She loved the look in his eyes, there was a world of depth there.

  About Napa ' my mines ' what it would be like to have you there' .

  She looked startled at his words, and then she smiled. I suppose it would be an interesting life, wouldn't it? Certainly very different from New York. She couldn't even begin to imagine it. Are there Indians where you live?

  He laughed. Not the way you mean, but yes, some. But they're all very tame and ordinary now.

  No hooting and hollering and throwing tomahawks? She looked crushed and he laughed again as he shook his head.

  I'm afraid not.

  How disappointing, Jeremiah.

  We find other ways to have fun.

  Like what?

  His Saturday nights in Calistoga instantly came to mind, but he forced himself to think of other things. San Francisco is only seven or eight hours away.

  Do you spend a lot of time there?

  He shook his head. Honestly, no. I get up at five, have breakfast at six, leave for the mine after that, and come home when the sun goes down, and sometimes long after that. I work on Saturday mornings he hesitated, but not for very long and on Sundays I tap my foot, waiting to go back to the mine.

  It sounds like an awfully lonely life, my friend. She looked sad for him and it touched his heart. What difference did it make to her if he worked too hard or was alone? Why have you never married, Jeremiah? She seemed distressed.

  Too busy, I guess. I almost did once, nearly twenty years ago. He smiled at her and looked unconcerned. Maybe it just never was in the cards for me.

  That's nonsense! No one should grow old alone. But she would too, unless she married again.

  Is that what it's all about, why people get married, so they won't be alone when they're old?

  Of course not. Companionship. Friendship. Love ' someone to laugh with and talk to and share the aches and the sorrows with, someone to spoil and to love and to run home to, and run out into the first snow. ' She was thinking of the look in her daughter's eyes as she said the words. She was so in love with her husband and her brand-new infant son. Amelia's eyes rose to Jeremiah's again. I don't suppose you really know what I'm talking about, but you've missed a great deal. My children are the greatest joy of my life. And it's not too late for you to have that. Jeremiah, don't be a fool. There must be a thousand women standing in line for you, grab one of them, marry her, and have a bunch of children before it's too late. Don't deprive yourself' . He was amazed at the urgency of her words, and something about the way she said it touched his heart.

  You almost make me think twice about the life I've led. He smiled at her and then sat back against the dark green velvet seat. Maybe you'll just have to save me from myself and marry me in the next town. What do you suppose your children would say to that?

  She laughed, but her eyes were kind as she answered him. They'd think that I'd finally gone mad, and they'd be right for once.

  Would they? His eyes held a tight grip on hers.

  They would.

  Would it really be such a mad thing ' you and I? '

  She felt an odd chill run down her spine, there was something serious in his eyes, and she didn't want to play with him. They were strangers on a train, and she knew herself that she was very taken with him, but she wasn't completely out of her mind yet. She had a life to live, a house in New York, three children still at home, two grown daughters and two sons-in-law to answer to.

  Jeremiah, don't tease about something as serious as that. Her voice was as soft as silk and as gentle as a kiss on a child's cheek. I like you too much. I want to be your friend, even after we get off the train.

  So do I. Marry me. It was the craziest thing he had ever said, and would be the craziest thing he'd ever done, and he knew it too.

  I can't. She felt suddenly pale and then flushed and then pale again.

  Why not? He was serious and that made it worse somehow. She was almost frightened by the look in his eyes.

  For heaven's sake, I have three children to bring up. It was a lame excuse, but she couldn't think of anything else to say.

  So what? We can take them to St. Helena. Other people bring up their children there. It's a respectable place, in spite of the Indians. He smiled. We'll build them their own school.

  Jeremiah! Stop! She jumped to her feet. Stop saying these mad things. I like you, you're one of the most remarkable, interesting, decent men I've ever met. But we've only just met. You're a stranger to me, and I to you, you d
on't know if I drink, if I'm half mad, if I gamble, or cheat ' beat my children ' if I killed my husband perhaps. ' A small smile dawned in her eyes and he held a hand out to her, which she took, and brushed with her lips. Lovely man, be kind to me, don't tease me like this. I'll be forty-one years old next spring, Jeremiah, I'm too old for these games. I married my husband when I was seventeen, and we were happy for eighteen years, but I'm not a young girl anymore, there are no babies left in my womb' . I'm a grandmother now' . I'm beyond doing something crazy like running away to California with you. I'd like to, it sounds like marvelous fun, but that's right now, right here ' in a few days, you'll be in Atlanta, and I'll be in Savannah looking at my second grandchild. We must behave, you and I, lest someone get hurt, and above all, I don't want that someone to be you. Do you know what I wish for you? A beautiful young girl for your wife, a dozen children, and a love like the one I had for twenty years. I've had mine, but you haven't had yours, and I hope you find it soon. Her eyes filled with tears then and she turned away. He took one step toward her and without saying anything he enfolded her in his arms, held her close, and sought her lips with his own, and she didn't fight him at all. She kissed him with all the fervor and passion that had been pent up for so long and he did the same, and they were both breathless when they sat down again.

  You're a madman, Jeremiah. But she didn't seem to mind, and he smiled at her.

  No. Many things but not that. He looked deep into her eyes again. And you're the most spectacular woman I've ever met. I hope you know that. It's not an infatuation, not a whim. In forty-three years, I've asked only two women to marry me. And I would marry you at the next stop this train makes, if you would. And you know what? We'd be happy for the rest of our lives. I know that as sure as I know I'm sitting here. And the funny thing was that she suspected he was right.

  We might be, and we might not. But I think we'd be wiser not to try.

  Why?

  Perhaps I'm not as brave as you. I'd rather have you as my friend. But he wasn't sure he believed that after the way she had kissed him only moments before, and to break the tension building between them again, he stood up, and went to a walnut cabinet where he had put a dozen bottles of his best wine.

  Would you like a drink? I brought some of my own wine with me.

  I'd love that, Jeremiah. He drew the cork and poured out two glasses of a full-bodied rich red wine, sniffed the glass, looked satisfied, and handed the first one to her.

  No one will see you drink this here She wouldn't have drunk it elsewhere on the train, but she was suddenly relieved to have a glass of wine, and she was surprised at how fine it was when she took the first sip. Once again she found herself impressed with him, and she looked sadly up at him as she set down the glass.

  I wish I didn't like you so damn much.

  I wish you liked me more. They both laughed at that, and got off at the next stop to share a quick dinner before getting back on the train. They bought an enormous basket of fruit. Jeremiah had some cheese left over from the day before and they ate fruit and cheese and drank his wine well into the night, as they discussed the condition of the human race, and slowly began to get drunk as they laughed at it all. And somehow each of them knew that they had found a lifetime friend. She was the wisest woman he had ever met, and for the next few days he drank in every word she said, shared all of his wine with her. They ate every meal in each other's company, played cards, laughed, told jokes, shared confidences that neither of them had ever told before, and by the time they reached Atlanta, Jeremiah knew that he was more than just slightly in love with her. He was head over heels mad for her, and yet he knew at the same time that she would never agree to marry him, and he also thought he understood why. In the depths of her soul, she still hadn't given her husband up, and perhaps never would. She kept insisting that Jeremiah needed a young girl, and children of his own. He had told her about John Harte, and the two children who had died, and he had admitted to her that he wasn't sure he ever wanted to take that risk. I couldn't bear it if I lost a child. I lost a woman I loved once, Amelia, that was enough. ' This was late one night, more than halfway down his second bottle of wine, but Amelia had shaken her head at him.

  You can't live in fear like that. You have to gamble a bit in life, you know that. '

  Not with your heart. ' Barnaby Harte's face came to his mind again and he closed his eyes. I couldn't bear that. She had grabbed his arm.

  You must. Don't miss that chance. You still have a whole life to live ' do it' dammit, don't let it pass you by. I won't let you do that. Find the right girl, go looking for her if you have to, but get what you want' what you need ' what you deserve. '

  And what's that? He wasn't even sure what he wanted anymore.

  A girl with fire ' with passion ' with love in her veins, a girl so alive that you almost have to tie her down to capture her.

  Jeremiah laughed. Sounds like you, is that what I should do to you?

  You'd better not, Jeremiah Thurston. But you know just what I mean, a little fireball to keep you warm and happy and amused.

  Sounds like a great deal of trouble to me. But he had to admit, in some ways, the idea appealed to him. And where does one find such a girl?

  Wherever she is. And one looks hard, if one has to. Or perhaps she'll just walk right into your arms.

  She hasn't yet, or at least not until this trip. He eyed her knowingly again and she laughed. She had almost allowed herself to fall head over heels in love with him. But she couldn't do that. She had too much left to do on her own, and he deserved more than that.

  Don't forget what I said! she told him in the last moments of the trip. The train was already pulling into the Atlanta station and his bags were packed. They were standing in his private car, and he had left instructions to leave it on for her and her maid. The journey to Savannah would take them only a few more hours, but she wasn't thinking of Savannah now. She was only thinking of him, and he of her.

  Damn you, why won't you marry me? He looked down at her tenderly, with grief and passion mixed in his eyes. You're a fool.

  I know I am tears suddenly welled up in her eyes but I want something better for you.

  You're the best there is.

  She shook her head, and the tears rolled slowly down her face as she smiled. I love you, dearest friend. She took him in her arms in a hug that enveloped him and he held her close until the train stopped and then he pulled away to look at her again.

  I love you too. Take care of yourself, my dear. I'll see you in New York sometime soon.

  She nodded, and waved at him as he left the train, and he stood and waved at her as the train pulled away, and he wondered at the fate that had brought her to him and then let her slide away. There had never been anyone like her before ' and probably never would be again ' and the damnedest thing was that if she would have let him, he would have married her in a moment. It was strange. He had fallen head over heels for Amelia in a matter of days, moments ' hours ' and with Mary Ellen Browne, he would have been content with a lifetime of Sundays. It was something to think about as he rode to his hotel, watching the sights slide by him.

  THERE was a wonderful quality of elegance about the Kimball House, which dominated the skyline of Atlanta. A fleet of men rushed forward to help Jeremiah alight and enter the richly decorated lobby, where armies of servants seemed to be hovering about. The decor was more that of a grand ballroom than a hotel lobby. It made the grandeur of the Palace Hotel in San Francisco pale by comparison, although Jeremiah still preferred the familiar comforts of the Palace. It was his favorite hotel in the world. But the Kimball was an excellent second. Jeremiah regained his bag in his suite, looked around, had a drink, and it seemed only moments later when he heard a knock on the door to his room, and Mr. Beauchamp's footman appeared. He stood impressively tall, and black, in formal livery, and handed him an envelope of rich creamy paper, the envelope closed with a very grand gold seal. Having ascertained who Jeremiah was, the envelope was ex
tended in one powerful black hand.

  From Mrs. Beauchamp, suh.

  Thank you.

  Jeremiah swiftly pulled out the card and discovered that he was expected for dinner at eight o'clock that evening. French hours, he thought as he thanked the footman, and asked him to reassure the Beauchamps that he'd be there. With a stern nod, the man, resplendent in his livery, disappeared. Jeremiah wandered around the room, thinking of that night. The room was handsomely decorated, with fine fabrics and French antiques, but to Jeremiah it looked all too empty now. There was a soft knock on the door, and a black maid appeared with a silver tray, bringing him another tall mint julep and a plate of cookies that smelled freshly baked. Normally, after the long ride on the train, he would have liked nothing better, but now all he could think of was Amelia. In a few hours she would be arriving in Savannah, and she would be busy with her daughter, but all Jeremiah wanted was to fold her into his arms again. It troubled him as he took a long sip of the mint julep and strolled out onto the terrace to look at the city. It had grown a great deal in the twenty years since the war, and in many ways it was a booming city. But much about it was as it had been before the war, and he knew that the Southerners still resented being dragged into the Union. They liked their old ways and were still bitter about losing the war. He wondered briefly what Beauchamp and his friends would be like. He knew that they had plenty of money at their disposal, but he suspected that Beauchamp was newly rich and painfully flashy. It was easy to guess that from the heavily gold-encrusted suit the man's footman wore, and the enormous gold seal on the letter.