Thurston House (1983)

by Steel, Danielle

  If they are, tant pis for them. This is our life, our child. They are both grown men with their own lives to lead. When they have babies, they won't ask us what we think, so we won't ask them. She laughed at the simplicity of it in his mind.

  That's simple enough. Weil, I guess that takes care of everything.

  Not quite, he laughed at her, you're forgetting one detail, a small one, I'll admit, but nonetheless ' perhaps we should do our child the favor of making it legitimate. Sabrina, my darling, will you marry me?

  She grinned at him. Are you serious?

  He laughed again, and pointed at the still flat tummy as she continued to sit in his lap. Is that serious?

  Yes. She was laughing too now, her eyes still red from her tears, but she looked happier now by far. Very serious.

  Then so am I. Weil?

  She threw her arms around his neck again. Yes, yes, yes ' yes! ' He kissed her hard on the mouth and carried her upstairs to her bed, and deposited her gently on the side where she slept. She had given birth to Jon in that bed, but they both knew that wouldn't happen this time. She was too old to give birth at home, and he wanted every precaution taken for her. But it wasn't the birth but the wedding on their minds now.

  When do you want to get married, my love? He smiled down at her and crossed his arms, and he had never looked more handsome to her.

  I don't know ' shouldn't we wait for spring vacation for Jon? It would be nice if he were here.' But at that, Andr+! laughed out loud and pointed at her tummy again.

  Aren't you forgetting something?

  She laughed too. Hmmm ' you may be right' I don't suppose we should wait.

  That reminded him. When will it be born?

  The doctor said October. It was only seven months away, and they might still be able to pretend that the baby was premature in the years to come. At her age, a baby born two months early was possible ' but not much more than that' .

  How about this Saturday?

  She lay back against her pillows and smiled at him, looking lovelier than any woman he had ever known. That sounds wonderful ' are you sure that's what you want to do though?

  I've wanted that since the day we met. I'm only sorry we waited this long ' sorry that we didn't meet twenty years ago. She had thought of that too. They had wasted so much time, but perhaps that was the way it was meant to be. Saturday almost isn't soon enough.

  She was smiling happily. Shall we call and tell Antoine?

  I'll call him later and tell him everything's all right, but first, he scowled at her, I want you to rest. For a future mama, you haven't exactly had the ideal day, and I'm going to take care of you now. Do you understand? He glanced at his watch. It was after eight. I'm going to make you something to eat. You're eating for two now, you know. He bent down and kissed her again, and ran downstairs to make her one of the omelets she loved, a la frangaise, but when he came upstairs again, she didn't even eat for one. Between the exhaustion of what they had been through and the baby growing in her womb, she was sound asleep on their bed.

  WHEN Sabrina and Andr+! drove back to Napa on Thursday afternoon, they left her car in town. Andr+! had picked it up earlier that day and put it in the garage they rented across from Thurston House, and they drove up in his, and Antoine saw them arrive, as he left the fields and walked toward the house. It was a beautiful sunny day, and Sabrina looked as happy as a young girl as she walked toward Antoine. It was difficult to believe she was the same woman who had left the day before. But Antoine had already heard the relief in his father's voice the night before when he'd called. He hadn't explained anything, but Antoine knew instantly that everything was all right and he was sure of it now, and they told him that night as Andr+! poured his son a glass of champagne.

  We have something to say to you. Antoine was amused, they were like two kids, and he guessed ahead of time what the news would be, or at least part of it. They weren't going to tell him about the baby yet.

  Should I guess? He teased. Let's see ' Sabrina was giggling like a girl, and Andr+!grinned broadly at his son.

  All right, you smart aleck, never mind ' We're getting married on Saturday.

  So soon? That was the only thing that did surprise him, he thought they were going to tell him that they were engaged, and then suddenly something dawned on him. He looked at Sabrina guardedly, but he could see nothing there. Perhaps it was too soon, he thought, but if that was true, he was happy for them. He hadn't even thought of that when she had seemed so ill. And he beamed at them now and kissed them both on both cheeks. Andr+! asked him to be the best man, and that Saturday at the little church in town, Antoine stood beside Andr+! as Sabrina walked down the aisle alone, their workers were there and no one else, and the minister said the words solemnly as tears ran down Sabrina's cheeks, and she became Andr+!'s wife, and afterward they shared a sumptuous meal that the men themselves had prepared and a whole case of champagne, although Sabrina only drank one glass, and Antoine took her aside and gave her a warm hug.

  I'm happy for you and Papa. You will be wonderful for him.

  I'm the lucky one to have both of you. She wished that Jonathan had been as kind. She had called to tell him in his dorm, and there had been a long silence on the phone followed by a few chill words.

  What's the rush? He would know soon enough.

  We just thought ' Darling, I'm sorry you can't be here. ' She was agonized, forgetting the pain he had caused her with Camille.

  I'm not. Why in hell would you want to marry a farmer like him?

  That's not a nice thing to say, Jon. She was hurt by his words, but he had planned it that way.

  Anyway, good luck.

  Thank you. Do you want to come home for Easter, sweetheart? She would have sent him the fare.

  No, thanks, I'm going to New York with friends. But you can send me to Paris if you want, in June.

  That's not quite the same thing, is it? I just thought that you might like to come home and see all of us.

  I'd rather see France. A whole group of us are going on the Grand Tour when we graduate. What do you say? He had dismissed her marriage to andr+!? and was already thinking of himself again.

  We'll discuss it some other time.

  Why not now? I have to make arrangements if I'm going with them.

  I don't want to be pressed. We'll discuss it later, Jon.

  Forchrissake '

  You have to go to work when you graduate. What about that? If he was going to push her, she was going to push him. Turnabout was fair play, although she seldom applied it to him. But she was mad about his comment about Andr+! ' a farmer from France indeed ' the little shit.

  I'm pretty sure Johnson's father is going to give me a job in New York. She felt her heart sink but she had expected it. Five of us are going to rent a town house.

  Sounds expensive. Will be you able to afford that?

  Why not? You have Thurston House.

  I don't pay rent. Although if Camille and he had had their way, perhaps she would have by then. How's your charming grandmother, by the way?

  She's fine. I got a letter from her last week. Sabrina didn't say anything, she just sighed. It annoyed her that she stayed in touch with Jon, and he seemed to have such an affinity for her.

  Well, we'll see you at graduation then, and she hoped Camille wouldn't be there. She never wanted to see her again, but her great-nephew would be graduating too and perhaps she would come. Sabrina didn't ask Jon, and he asked her about the trip again. I'll think about it and let you know. But he figured she would ask Andr+! and he might say no.

  Make up your mind soon.

  And if I say no?

  I'll find some other way to go.

  Maybe you should. Her voice was very calm. She recognized all the mistakes she had made with him now, and she wouldn't make them again with her next child. It warmed her heart to think of that ' she had a baby on the way ' another child ' she wondered what it would be ' who it would look like ' she smiled to herself.

 
God damn it, Mom. I need that trip.

  That you do not. You want it, there's a difference. And with that, he hung up on her, without congratulating her again, or sending his regards to Andr+!. And she didn't hear from him again for another month. He called to press her again about the trip, and this time she did discuss it with Andr+!, and he expressed his views to her, although he knew they wouldn't be popular with Jon.

  Do you really want to know what I think? He had restrained himself until then. He felt that how she dealt with her son was her own affair, and he didn't want to tread on delicate ground.

  Yes, I do. He's making me feel as though I owe it to him, but I'm not sure it would be good for him just to give him the trip. On the other hand, he's graduating from Harvard in June, it would be a beautiful gift. ' She looked helplessly at Andr+!.

  Too beautiful a gift, I think. I think if that's what he wanted, he should have begun saving for it a long time ago. He never thinks about how difficult it is for you. He thinks he has a right to it. That's a dangerous way for a man to think, and sooner or later reality is going to hit him hard. You won't always be there to put money into his open hand. Once he leaves school, he should stand on his own two feet.

  I agree. She was slowly hardening herself to Jon's constant demands. He was the ultimate spoiled child and it had gone too far. And the trip?

  I would tell him no.

  She sighed. That's what I think, but I dread telling him. Andr+! nodded sympathetically. He knew what a hard time Jon gave her and he felt sorry for her. He was a rude, selfish little son of a bitch, and he didn't think it was just because he had been spoiled. There was something more to it than that. He was too much like his grandmother for his own good, and Andr+! felt that he must have been born like that.

  He was certainly different from Antoine, who was nothing but nice to her. He was almost twenty-six years old, and very much involved with a girl in town, and each time he looked at Sabrina now, he thought that his suspicions had been correct, but neither of them had said anything to him, and he didn't want to ask, until finally one day in May, he looked at Sabrina and smiled.

  Can I ask you something?

  Of course. She smiled at him, she loved him as her own son, and in many ways he was easier to love than Jon. The explosion over the trip had caused an enormous rift, and she hadn't spoken to him in a month, although they still planned to go to Cambridge in June to see him graduate.

  I know it's rude to ask ' He blushed beneath his deep tan, and she noticed once again how handsome he was. He was a magnificent-looking young man, and she wondered how serious he was about his current girl and if that was what he wanted to talk to her about now, but he took her by surprise instead. Are you ' am I going to have a little brother or sister? ' He couldn't stand the suspense anymore and she smiled at him, blushing herself now. She nodded and he swept her up in his powerful arms, kissed her cheek and put her down again. When?

  She began to tell him what she and Andr+! had agreed to tell everyone, and then thought better of it. She could tell Antoine the truth. In a way, he had been the first to know, when she had almost fainted in the fields. And he was no fool, he would figure it out eventually. They just didn't want other people to know. 'October, she smiled at him, but officially, it's two months later than that.

  He grinned, and appreciated her honesty. I thought that too, but I didn't want to ask. And in his heart, he knew that his father would have married her anyway. Does Jon know?

  Not yet. We'll tell him next month when we go east.

  Papa is thrilled, I can tell. He's been strutting around here like a boy since you came back from San Francisco, a few days before you two got married. He didn't ask her what had happened then, but he knew it had changed everything, and all to the good. It was as though they each knew how much the other meant to them after that. And he envied them that. He would have liked to have found a girl he loved as much as his father loved her, but so far he knew he had not. The girl he was seeing now was fun, and he cared about her, but he already knew it wouldn't last. She wasn't bright enough, and she never laughed at the same things, and that was important to him. He looked at Sabrina now. I'm happy for both of you. And then with an extra smile, I hope it's a girl.

  She whispered to him as they walked hand in hand to the house, So do I. It was just beginning to show in the trousers she wore around the farmhouse. Their other house was supposed to be finished in two months. She wanted to move in in time for the baby to come, but she was going to go to San Francisco for the birth. Andr+! was insistent about that. He wanted her to have the best care she could have, but so far she had had no problems with the pregnancy. Even the train trip to the East didn't bother her, and when they saw Jon the atmosphere between them was tense. He ignored Andr+!, and looked at his mother with hostility.

  I suppose you're pleased at the news.

  What news? She looked blank.

  I wrote to you last week.

  I didn't get anything. The letter must have arrived after we left.

  There were tears in his eyes as he spoke to her, and she was stunned. Grandmother was hit by a bus last week and killed instantly. It took her a moment to register the fact that he meant Camille and then she stared at him, amazed at the grief he seemed to feel. She felt nothing at all, except in some remote way relief.

  I'm sorry to hear that, Jon.

  No, you're not. You hated her. He sounded like a child again, as Andr+! watched from where he sat on the windowsill in Jon's room in his dorm. Sabrina was sitting on the bed, and she was obviously flourishing. She had gained weight, and she couldn't wear her old clothes anymore. She had had to buy some loose dresses like the blue silk dress she wore now. It was the same color as her eyes and r+! thought she looked even prettier than she had before.

  I didn't hate her, Jon. I barely knew her. And what I knew I didn't like very much. You'll have to admit she wasn't exactly decent to me. She tried to put me out of my house, after abandoning me as a child, and staying out of my life for forty-six years.

  He shrugged, it was a difficult accusation to deny. And then he seemed to look Sabrina over with surprise. You've sure gotten fat. Marriage must agree with you. It was hardly a tactful remark and she laughed.

  It does, but that isn't why I've gained weight. She had to tell him sometime and it was as good a time as any, or so she thought. I know you'll be surprised. And to be honest with you, so were we. She took a breath and went on, we're having a baby at Christmastime, Jon.

  You're What? He looked at them both and jumped to his feet. You're not! He looked horrified.

  I am. She sat calmly where she was and looked at Andr+! and then her son again. I know it's a bit of a shock initially, but

  How can you make such fools of yourselves? Christ' of me? My God, everyone I know will laugh me out of town

  You're fifty years old, and God only knows how old he is ' He was less than gracious to them both, and Sabrina couldn't help smiling. He was so enraged mat he looked like a little boy again, and it was certainly different from the reaction they had had from Antoine, who had rushed out and bought the baby its first teddy bear, and remember to tell her it's from me! He insisted that it was going to be a girl, but Jon didn't care what it was as he stormed around the room.

  These things do happen you know, old boy. Andr+! tried to calm him down. He was sorry to see the boy behave that way to his mother, but it didn't surprise him at all. He was totally immature and completely spoiled, and he always seemed to have an ax to grind against her. You'll get used to it eventually. We did. And so did Antoine. And he's even older than you are. Four years older in fact.

  What the hell does he know? All he does is plant grapes. I'm a man for God's sake! Andr+! got to his feet, controlling himself with difficulty.

  So is my son. And he is your stepbrother now, I will thank you to speak of him with respect, Jonathan. For an instant the two men exchanged a long look and then Jon backed down. He was no fool, and Andr+! meant every word he said. He
looked at Sabrina then, and indicated that it was time to leave. Jon had plans for that night, but they would see him at graduation the next day, and then they would dine with him and a friend, and the next day Andr+! and Sabrina were leaving for New York with him. He was sailing on the Normandie three days after that. He had come up with the money for the trip himself after all, quite a lot of it in fact, and Sabrina was impressed. And she and Andr+! wanted to see Amelia anyway.

  We'll see you tomorrow, Jon. She went to kiss his cheek but he avoided her and his back was turned when they left the room.

  I'm sorry he took it so hard, she said to Andr+! as they took a cab back to their hotel.

  Did you really expect otherwise? He's still very young, he patted her hand, four years makes a big difference at this age. Antoine is already a man. Jon isn't quite yet. It'll come. And it's probably a threat to him, in terms of what he'll inherit from you ' the house ' the Napa land ' She hadn't thought of that, but she nodded now, wondering if Jon had.

  You may be right. Strange about Camille, isn't it?

  Andr+! looked at her. It's just as well. She was an evil, greedy, useless woman, and she should have died years ago, as your father claimed she had. He had never forgiven her for what she had done to his wife. During all those months, she had tortured Sabrina, as she stood by helplessly waiting to go to court to defend herself.

  It's odd. I don't feel anything. It was a strange thing to admit. She had just learned that her mother had died, and she didn't care at all. Jon certainly does.

  He's known her for four years, and apparently, they had at+|mes crochus. She smiled. She loved that expression of his, hooked atoms, something in common. And much to her chagrin, he was right, they did.

  The graduation went off without a hitch the next day, and Sabrina cried as she watched Jon participate. No matter how difficult he was, she was proud of him, and she had gotten him through school, selling the mines, the Napa house, the gardens around Thurston House ' she had done it, and so had he. They had a lot to be proud of and to celebrate, and they dined out that night. Jon got more than a little drunk, but Sabrina and Andr+! understood and he was actually nicer than he usually was, far nicer than he was on the train to New York. He was embarrassed to be seen with her.