Have a Little Faith

by Kadi Dillon

  Alex shifted nervously and reached over to grab her purse. “You said you’d made reservations so I assumed it was formal.”

  “It is. I need to go change.” He took a step over the threshold to her room and touched the tips of her hair. “You look stunning.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Ten minutes,” he promised and strolled down the hall into the guest room.

  Within an hour, Lane was sliding in across the table from Alex in the corner booth of the nicest restaurant in the city. He ordered a bottle of wine that had the waiter ginning like a fool. They both ordered their meal and Lane took her hand, caressing her fingers in an absent gesture that sent her heart racing.

  “I booked us a room here tonight. Kind of like a honeymoon.”

  “You did? Here?”

  “Yes. Well, at a hotel.” He chuckled lightly. “And I’ve already got Jack on all the chores you do in the morning so you’re not to worry about anything.”

  “I don’t have clothes.” She had to worry about something.

  “You won’t need them.”

  “Oh.”

  The waiter brought a bottle of pale wine and popped the cork. After tasting and approving, he left them alone again. Lane poured for Alex and smiled when she delighted in the taste. “It’s my favorite,” he told her sipping from his own glass.

  “It’s wonderful. I feel like a queen or something. Everyone is staring at us.” Because it made her self-conscious, Alex studied the desert menu.

  “We’re probably the richest couple here. People are curious.”

  “Richest couple?” Alex looked at him sharply and shook her head. “I’m not rich at all.”

  “You are now.”

  Her brows stayed together as she thought about it. Funny, she had never seen him as rich. She hadn’t thought of money when she married him. She only wanted some control over her home. And she couldn’t deny the thrill of being his. She had felt it at the creek when they had made love and she realized she would be a lucky woman to belong to someone like Lane.

  “You don’t like money?”

  “No,” Alex answered honestly. “We have a love-hate relationship. I hate it because I need it.”

  “Do you see needs as a weakness?”

  The conversation was making her uncomfortable. She felt his gaze boring down on her and she cleared her throat. “Not always. It would depend on the need.”

  “Yes, it would.” Lane thanked the waiter as their plates were put down in front of them. She ate slowly, savoring the most delicious meal she had ever tasted.

  The fact that he had money did frighten her a little. She knew now that nothing would truly ever be the same. And she didn’t know how to hope for the best.

  “I have something I need to see to downstairs. The bath is through here if you want or there’s cable.” Lane led her into a spacious suite that his company owned. Tanner Enterprise was top notch.

  Alex slipped out of her shoes and let her feet sink into the plush carpet. “All right. I think I’ll take a bath.”

  Lane smiled, kissed her cheek, and then quit the room.

  Alex slipped out of her gown and into one of the silky, white robes she found in the closet. She filled the tub with steaming water and added an exotic soap the hotel also supplied. When the bubbles grazed the top of the tub, she turned off the taps. She sighed in pure relief against her aching back as she lowered herself in.

  She could feel every single bruise. It had been years since she had felt the ache and stiffness of abuse. It came back quickly however. Bruises faded in time, but the pain never seemed to go away.

  Her father had been dead for months and she still hurt inside when she heard his name. Not many people knew what Joshua Morgan was really like, so they talked about him in town and at the feed store. They probably thought their fond memories comforted Alex, but they didn’t. They made her sick.

  She didn’t want to hear how someone could camouflage himself so successfully.

  People with ugly souls should have marks to warn others of their nature, Alex mused as she ran her hand down her leg. The water slid across her skin like satin. She could have easily fallen asleep in the tub, but she didn’t want to miss the heavenly feel or scent of the bubbles.

  With her back to the door, she didn’t hear Lane step in the bathroom. He stopped at the threshold and began to unbutton his shirt. She looked so peaceful, he mused. Her mass of black hair was pinned up high on her head; her posture relaxed beneath the bubbles. It was almost upsetting to disturb the stunning scene. Almost.

  Then she shifted. A subtle movement, as if she were crossing her legs, but the water moved briefly showing an array of black and purple bruises along her back beneath a thin layer of foamy bubbles.

  Lane’s blood froze and he stopped three buttons down. His first thought was that he had caused them during their heavenly encounter at the creek. Then, he discarded it immediately, remembering her creamy unmarked skin in the dress she wore when they were married. No, this was something very new.

  “What in the hell happened to your back?”

  She jolted and almost went under before catching herself on the lip of the tub. She was still modest enough to attempt to cover her naked chest with her arms. With her heart beating in her throat, she faced an enraged Lane.

  “I didn’t hear you come in.”

  “Answer my question, Alex,” he demanded.

  Her body began to shake as she stared at him with wide, unblinking eyes. Without a word, he picked up a towel and handed it to her, then strode out of the bathroom.

  He was mixing a drink when she walked out into the sitting room with her hair down and robe clutched tight at the lapels. She looked as if she was facing execution.

  “Do you want anything?” He gestured to the bar.

  “No, thank you.”

  “I do. An explanation.”

  “I had an accident at work.”

  He didn’t believe her for a second, but decided to play along. It was time his new wife learned the full extent of his anger. If only to assure her it wasn’t harmful. “Oh?”

  She nodded. “I fell into the tractor. Slipped, really. But it’s fine.”

  “You must have fallen hard.”

  “Yes.”

  He added a lime to his drink before taking it to go stand over by the window. He deliberately relaxed the rigid muscles in his back and looked out at the city. “Who hurt you, Alex?”

  He had asked her the question once before only for her to evade an answer. By process of elimination, he knew who had hurt her before. Now, Joshua Morgan was dead and someone else was going to be. He expected her to ignore him or even to lie again. That’s why he was surprised when she told him the truth.

  “Gary Fuller.” It was said in a whisper. “I made him angry.”

  “Who is he?”

  “The man I bought Joy and Crazy from.”

  Lane sat his drink down and pulled Alex into his arms, careful not to touch her back. He was relieved when she didn’t stiffen of pull away. Lane forced his voice to be gentle while the blood pounded loudly in his head. “So he doesn’t stop at horses, does he?”

  “No. This is the first time he’s ever been violent with me.”

  Lane checked the urge to break something. It wouldn’t solve anything except damage his hotel and scare his wife. Instead, he grazed his lips along Alex’s temple and ran his hands up and down her arms soothingly. “Tell me what happened.”

  “It doesn’t really matter.”

  “It does to me.” He pulled her down beside him on the couch. “Tell me.”

  In a rush, she did. She left nothing out. She was aware of the waves of fury riding off him, but she wasn’t afraid for herself. She knew where his anger was centered even if she didn’t quite understand it.

  She tried to shield some of the story without holding it back from him. She didn’t want him to think he was responsible since Fuller’s anger was over his business.

  When she finishe
d telling him, she realized his arms were still holding her lightly, but his hands were clenched into fists.

  “So it’s my fault?”

  “No.” Alex stood up and went to the bar to search for a bottle of water. “It’s Gary Fuller’s fault. And part mine. I knew I was provoking him.”

  “Don’t be so foolish as to blame yourself, Alex. He was pissed off because my business with the ranch and he took it out on you.” Lane crossed the room to her and his hands went automatically to the tie in her robe. “Stop,” he said quietly when she clutched the lapels. “Turn around.” He parted the robe and looked at the purple marks along her back.

  “He pushed you into the tractor. He could have hurt you more than this. I should probably take you to the doctor.” His finger traced the line of her spine and sent delicious tingles through her body.

  “No. I don’t need to see a doctor. I’m pretty much used to it.” Her eyes were already half closed as she felt his hands caress her back. Her muscles were turning to liquid in a blink.

  “Used to what, Alex?”

  Her eyes popped open. She hadn’t meant to tell him this way. She was going to ease into the story of her past. But he was turning her in his arms and pulling her robe back together. “My father did this to me a lot when I was a child.”

  “Abused you?” He didn’t sound surprised or repulsed—only curious and a little angry.

  “Yes. He hurt me a lot. I never made him happy and he let me know about it. I’m only telling you because—”

  “You’re telling me because I’m your husband and I have the right to know. I want to know everything, Alex. All your secrets.”

  “You won’t like some of them.”

  “I still need to know.”

  He led her to the bed and wrapped her in his arms when she settled against him. It was a while before she spoke and when she did, she could only manage a raw whisper.

  “My father wanted a son. When Mother had me, he was pleased to be a father, but he still wanted a boy to leave things to and to help him with the ranch”—which she always did, she thought bitterly—“I’m not sure why, but my mother couldn’t have any more children. I think I was eight when they finally gave up trying.”

  “Your father hurt you after that?”

  “He’d always been harsh with me since before I can even remember. I remember always wondering why he hated me. Finally, one time he was hitting me he told me God wasted his life giving him a fucking daughter. He deserved a son. That was when I was eight. I stopped wondering why he hated me and started wondering why God hated me.”

  “Your mother never tried to help you?”

  “That night after he told me all that, I went to my mother. I begged her to send me away. I didn’t want to be there. I went to school with all those kids who bragged about their mom and dad’s and I was so jealous.”

  “You never asked for help? Your teachers would have helped you, Alex.”

  “Yes, I know. But my mother said things to me that night and I stopped caring what happened to me. When he beat me after that, I just felt detached from it all. She told me it was my fault my father felt the way he did. I may be a girl, but I could have been more of what he needed. By that point I stopped wanting his love.”

  Lane tightened his hold on her. She burrowed into his warmth and sought the comfort he was offering. She knew she wouldn’t cry. It didn’t hurt so much anymore. It was like a dull ache to think about her mother’s indifference and she was numb when it came to any feelings about her father.

  “When I was twelve, I started hanging out with Sam and Lindsay. We were the three musketeers. We went everywhere together. I wore a bathing suit swimming and had a t-shirt on to cover whelps from his belt. Sam cut his foot on a rock and we used my shirt to wrap it to stop the bleeding. Lindsay told her parents about the marks and they called my mother.”

  She liked that he listened and didn’t comment. It made talking easier. “My mother was appalled that they would suggest her husband would do that. But she finally admitted it when they threatened her with the sheriff and they agreed to let me stay with Lindsay’s family for a while so he could get better. That lasted six months.”

  She closed her eyes remembering those precious months. Hugs and kisses from Mr. and Mrs. Preston, movie and pizza nights where they could stay up as late as they wanted. She remembered being terrified when she had started her period for the first time and the care Mrs. Preston gave her when she took her to buy pads.

  “It was the best time of my life at that point. I saw how a normal, loving family functioned. But when I went back, I knew he hadn’t changed. He fooled the Preston’s, but I could see his eyes when he knocked on their door to come get me. They were still mean.”

  “You didn’t tell the Preston’s his abuse didn’t stop?”

  “No.” Sometimes she wished she had. “I didn’t want them to feel guilty for sending me back and it wouldn’t have helped anyway. The beatings were worse. He called me awful names because they had told him I started my period while I stayed with them. I guess that made me more of a girl in his eyes.”

  She sighed, skipping over the part about Faith. She just couldn’t go into that tonight. There wasn’t numbness or a pang where Faith was concerned. It was full blown grief. “When I was sixteen, Sam, Linds, and I shared a bottle of whiskey. We were just being teenagers. Lindsay went home and I was a little wobbly, so I stayed in the apartment above the bar with Sam. His parents were out of town, anyway.”

  She paused and took a deep breath. “Things happened and we ended up… we—”

  “I get the picture.”

  She looked at him and saw no blame or disgust in his eyes. He was still curious. “My father found out and it was the worst it’s ever been in my life. I thought I was going to die.” Her fingers tightened convulsively on his as she thought of the fear she had felt for the tiny life that had been growing inside her womb.

  “He never touched me again after that. He died six months ago and I didn’t care. I didn’t want him to die, but I didn’t want him to live. I stayed in the barn until they took his body away. I didn’t even go to his funeral. The town believed I was grieving too hard, but I just didn’t care.”

  “And you think that makes you a bad person?”

  “I’m not sure.”

  “It doesn’t, Alex.” He sat up and brought her over his lap. She was straddling him with her hands holding onto his shoulders. She felt safe and secure and for the moment, happy. “You never deserved what happened, do you believe that?”

  “I’m starting to.”

  “Believe it. If Joshua Morgan were still alive, I’d kill him. Believe that, too.”

  She looked into his eyes so dark and intense. “I do.”

  “And I’m going to take care of Gary Fuller because I promise you, Alex no one will ever lay a hand on you again. Not me, not anyone. Do you understand?”

  She nodded because her chest hurt too much to speak.

  “I love you, Lane.” She closed her eyes as his lips came down on hers. His hands warmed her body that had been so cold before. He reached around and cupped the nape of her neck and deepened the earth-moving kiss.

  She unbuttoned his shirt button by button and pulled it from his naked torso.

  She hadn’t had the chance to really explore him yet, so she took advantage and spread her palms out on the hard ridge of muscle on his chest. The black hair was springy under her hands and sent her nerve endings spiraling out of control. Lower, she touched his stomach and made him tremble.

  It gave her confidence that she’d never had before. She unhooked his slacks and laughed huskily when he helped her yank them down. She had her robe discarded by the time his slacks landed in a heap with his shirt on the floor.

  Taking initiative, she leaned down as he lay under her on the bed and kissed his mouth.

  His hand wound around the dark mass of her hair as he held her to him. Her tongue probed and prodded and she wrenched a moan from him. Every
tremble, every sound coming from her lover sent her higher. She wasn’t self conscious when she took his hand and brought it to her breast. He took his mouth from hers and pulled her up to suck her there. She cried out as sensations pulled at her.

  Her breathing was strained and she was arching against him. His free hand slid lightly down her side until it gripped her hip. With confidence borne of pure desire, she slid down onto him. While sensations pulsed through her ravished system, she saw his hands fisted in the sheets. The corded muscles of his neck were tense while his jaw clenched. She knew what kind of motions caused the unspeakable pleasure they sought, but how to achieve them was beyond her experience.

  He made a subtle movement from beneath her; a simple rolling of his hips. Pleasure swept through her causing her to gasp. Then she began undulating against him.

  “Like this?” She knew it felt exquisite for her, but he was still clenching his jaw and still gripping the sheets. She wanted to give him every sensation she was experiencing.

  “Exactly like that,” he panted. “God.”

  Alex moved again and again and soon didn’t give a single thought to method. She just felt. They reached ecstasy together and Alex drifted down onto her lover’s body. They fell asleep still joined at the waist and at their hearts.

  Chapter Ten

  The contracts were signed a week after Lane and Alex were married. All Morgan land and property now belonged to Mr. and Mrs. Lane Tanner as well as Tanner Enterprises. Lane was relieved to have it behind him and was looking forward to life as Alex’s husband. He hadn’t told her any of his plans. He needed to speak with his father first.

  His mother’s latest illness had taken a bad turn. Lane was finishing up his bid for his newest idea when his father called to tell him he was releasing the entire project to Lane. He and his mother were taking an extended vacation to their house in the Florida Keys. Lane was to do whatever he thought most profitable with the ranch.

  It wasn’t uncommon for Greg Tanner to begin a project and pass it on to Lane when he tired of it. This time, it had worked in Lane’s favor. Lane had wished his mother well and promised to embrace the project.