Between Two Minds: Awakening

by D C Wright-Hammer

  Mr. Jenkins encouraged Ryan to keep talking.

  “After everything he experienced overseas, a lesser man would have acted out more. Instead, he came home to the woman he loved. Even with doubt in the back of his mind, he loved her. He happily, if somewhat awkwardly, took on the task of being a new father to his four-year-old, whom he’d never met. He worked terrible jobs for awful pay to make ends meet.”

  Ryan turned and looked directly into my eyes for the rest of his speech. “But then his whole family got sick. And the pressure to make more money overcame Charlie. In spite of his best efforts, society at large didn’t provide Charlie a good means to get his family through tough times. It was only then, in one of his most desperate hours, that he finally caved in and looked outside the legal job postings for something better. Obviously, the job wasn’t better morally or ethically, but better financially. Charlie’s only concern at that point was to pay for his family’s treatments.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Carter. That will be all.”

  “No, it won’t be.”

  In disbelief, my eyes widened as Ryan continued in defiance of Mr. Jenkins.

  “Say what you will about Charlie. Call him all the names you like. I’ve seen the things he’s dealt with. I’ve seen the way he’s handled life. And while he’s made his fair share of mistakes, he could have turned out ten times worse. Had he not stayed strong his whole life, we wouldn’t be here because of a car accident—which was just that. An accident. We might be here because he finally snapped back at a world that tried at every turn to cast him aside. He could have planned, orchestrated, and seriously harmed many, many more people. And instead, he did what any of us could ever hope for in his situation.”

  Ryan had me on the edge of my seat with tears ready in my eyes.

  “Charlie did his best.”

  And there it was. The deepest sob of my life overtook me, and I lost all ability to stay guarded against Ryan or anyone else, for that matter. If someone was waiting to hit me with a deathblow, they had their chance right then. It didn’t matter because for the first time in my life, I felt completely understood. I felt validated in all of the experiences I had ever had and could feel the weight of the world dissipate from my shoulders. I admired Ryan for his kind words as he turned his head to the audience and a look of extreme confusion washed over his face. Concerned, I hesitated for just a moment before I looked back to see what the matter was.

  With distress in his voice, he called out to the person that he saw. “Mom? What are you doing here?”

  Turning around, the face of the woman in the crowd became clear. Apparently, it was Ryan’s mother, but why did she look so familiar? Then I remembered. She was there when I was in the wheelchair, when I was seeing through Ryan’s eyes. That must be where I knew her from. But the more I thought about her, the more I realized that she was there for a much more important reason.

  Still troubled, Ryan inquired, “Why is she here, Charlie?”

  I responded with the only thing that made sense to me.

  “I think we were meant to be together, Ryan.”

  Chapter 26:

  How Far From the Apple Tree?

  “I think we were meant to be together, Ryan.” Helen looked up at me with a goofy grin on her face, breaking the seriousness of plotting out everything I knew about Charlie.

  While I wasn’t really in the mood, she was gushier than usual, so I smiled back and played along. “Oh yeah? Why’s that?”

  “Well, we both grew up paralyzed. We’re both very smart people. We both mind migrated. So, it’s pretty obvious. We’re a perfect match.”

  “Didn’t you make fun of me for thinking that since we were both in auto-chairs, we probably had something in common?”

  “Yes. But it was coincidental that we actually had things in common.”

  “Okay. Well, I won’t argue. You’re great.”

  “We’re great, Ryan!” she quickly corrected me.

  “We are. Now, about this Charlie situation.” I pointed back to the virtual character map on the wall, and her gaze followed.

  “Right, can you do a quick summary for me and try to place the dreams chronologically?”

  I tapped the different parts we had entered and began lining them up. “Let’s see. Charlie’s bad childhood goes first. Then there’s Mr. Reno. Next, Sarah.”

  Helen’s face became very serious at the mention of Charlie’s wife. “Did you have to bring her up?”

  “I’m just—”

  She broke into laughter and punched me in the shoulder. “I’m only joking. I get it now. So, what’s next?”

  Part of me knew it still bothered her, but I moved on without much reaction. “Then the marines. The Padre. Then jail. And the dream I had last night.”

  “What happened in that one?”

  “It was different from the other dreams. I think Charlie memories are blurring with mine. We were in a courtroom where there were people that he knew taking the stand. But then I took the stand, and it was the strangest thing. I saw my mom in the audience.”

  “What do you make of it?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe she represented safety.”

  “Does Charlie scare you?”

  “No, not anymore. Instead, I’m scared for him. Because I know how it all turns out.”

  I moved the trial to the end of the current timeline, then queued up another map item. “How’s that?”

  I hadn’t thought much about the end for Charlie in a while, but it became clear in the last several days. I began typing onto the map item, then moved “Charlie’s Suicide in jail” to the end.

  Helen gagged. “Ugh. That’s morbid.”

  “Yes, but the more I think about it, seeing his suicide was a turning point for him. And for me.”

  “What makes you say that?”

  “It was the night of Cameron’s speech when I had that dream. Ever since then, I’ve felt a connection with Charlie, and it helped me get through all of the doubt surrounding my mind migration.”

  “Now that you mention it, I did notice a change in you right around that time—confidence that you had never really shown. I just thought you were full of yourself since you’re in a new, hot body.”

  “Very funny.”

  “So obviously the suicide was the end for Charlie, huh?”

  “I guess. I haven’t had any dreams that take place after that. But he clearly wants his story to keep going through me.”

  “Then what’s the end game? What does Charlie want?”

  “Well, that much I know for now. He wants proof that the Padre is dead.”

  “Then what?”

  “I’m hoping I’ll know when I get there.”

  Helen tilted her head down so she could give me that you’re-full-of-crap look. “How’s that conversation going to go down? ‘Hey, Chief what’s-your-name, I heard your dad was a crime lord turned politician who snitched and got murdered. Mind if I poke around?’”

  She was right that I hadn’t really thought it all out. Still, I knew things about Junior that he’d likely not want to get out.

  “I mean, he was a crooked cop, at least for some time.”

  “What the hell, Ryan! You think blackmailing a cop is going to get you very far? You’re going to get yourself arrested or killed. I think tomorrow morning is too early to meet him. You need to call it off.”

  I pulled out a large hunting knife I had gotten from the local Happy-Mart. “I’m not calling it off.

  As pissed as I thought she would be, she only rolled her eyes. “Do you even know how to use that thing?

  “No, but Charlie does, so I’m hoping that means something.”

  She scrunched her brow in disbelief and didn’t say a word.

  “Look, Helen, we talked about this. I could definitely use your help, but if it’s too much for you,
I understand.”

  She shook her head. “I knew I wouldn’t be able to talk you out of this, and since I can’t come with you, I did the next best thing. I stopped by the used-tech store and picked this up for you.” Helen handed me an old-fashioned earpiece.

  “Yuck. I can only imagine whose ears this has been in.”

  “Don’t be a baby. You’re going to wear this when you meet with the Padre’s son. I’ll be able to hear you within five kilometers. You’ll be able to hear me.”

  “Okay.”

  “If things go south, let me know and I’ll give you a ride. I’ll borrow my dad’s auto-car.”

  “Helen, I don’t want you near him and me if it’s dangerous.”

  “Relax. I have this covered. He’s got the latest model, so it’s legal to send it without a passenger.”

  It felt good that she had my back even if she was right that the whole plan seemed completely nuts. In that sense, we were in fact perfect together, so I figured it was my turn to break the tension.

  “Thanks, Helen. You’re turning out to be quite the girlfriend.”

  Her head nearly exploded. “Girlfriend? Girlfriend! Uh, you still haven’t officially asked me out. So, you need to pump the brakes with all that ‘girlfriend’ talk.”

  “Oh yeah? What if I don’t want to pump the brakes?”

  “Well, then I guess you’ll just have to ask me out. Right now. Go ahead. See what happens.”

  “Okay, fine. Helen, will you be my girlfriend?”

  She smiled even bigger than before. “No! You’re crazy. How will I know if I’m with you or Charlie?”

  “Helen!”

  “Just kidding. Of course, I will be your girlfriend, Ryan.” She accompanied her positive affirmation with an exaggerated wink.

  We both leaned in and had another one of those passionate kisses that I couldn’t get enough of. With our relationship finally settled, we finished discussing how the meeting with Junior would go with the occasional flirting glance to keep things loose. We both agreed that I needed to be safe, and so the anonymous phone call that I’d leave would have Junior meeting me just outside of Marktown in the alleyway of a fairly busy street right before rush hour. Ideally, I’d ask him about his dad, see what he knew, and then walk away. But it would be naïve to think it would be so easy.

  Having worked all day as a lead generator at NTE and putting in the few hours with me, Helen was exhausted. “I’m going to catch some winks. I don’t suppose I can talk you into coming with me.”

  “I’m going to be sending the message, and then I’ll come right back. Though I doubt I’ll be able to get much sleep tonight.”

  “Too bad. I was thinking we could have a little fun to celebrate our first night together.”

  Still getting used to being active in the bed, I had too much on my mind at that moment to give even an average performance. “Definitely a rain check on that one.”

  “Suit yourself. I’ll get up with you in the morning to see you off. And Ryan?”

  “Yes?

  “Don’t go getting yourself killed.”

  “I’m liking living way too much to go and do something like that. Now go get some rest.”

  After Helen disappeared down the hallway, I threw on my sweater and headed for the door. Mom had shown me that the key to sending an anonymous message was actually pretty simple. Bundle the text, the number it was intended for, and five hundred credits to the Anono domain on the Darknet. Apparently, there was honor amongst thieves on that domain because the next hacker up would grab the request and process it while keeping the sender completely anonymous. At least, that’s how Mom described it. She had emphasized that if the authorities were listening for the message or if I ran into a rogue hacker who lacked the aforementioned honor that I could be in big trouble, but it was worth the risk to find out more about the Padre.

  “Ernesto Guerrero Jr. I am an old friend of your father’s. I haven’t seen him in years, and I’d like to know where he is. Meet me at 5:30 AM in the alleyway on Waveland between Madison and Kent. Please come alone.”

  With the message fully typed out, I paused to think for a moment. If I hit Send, it would put into motion a lot of things that I wouldn’t be able to control. The more I mulled it over, the more doubt crept into my thoughts. Maybe Helen was right to wait another day. Maybe I needed more time to get everything in order. All of it reminded me of the sad mantra from my childhood.

  I just can’t do it.

  It might as well have been a lifetime ago, given how different things had become for me. It was weird thinking about that pitiful paraplegic kid dragging himself around the house. Then I realized I was starting to become just another entitled walker like many of the people I had resented in my life. That wasn’t how I overcame I-just-can’t-do-it to complete the mind migration. Embracing who I was and fully tapping into the abilities that I did have had been the key. I knew then that was how I would get through everything ahead of me, and in that moment, I became certain. With all my might, I pressed down on my netphone. Fifteen seconds passed, and I received a reply message from the Anono domain.

  “Your analog message was successfully sent.”

  That was it. There was no going back, and it felt great. Riding high on my accomplishment, I walked back to the apartment. Figuring I wouldn’t get much rest that night, I grabbed a bottle of Bobby Brüce from the fridge and headed for the balcony to wind down.

  Dim streetlights provided the perfect backdrop to relax, and I noticed that the smell of the city was tame that night. In one motion, I plopped down into the patio chair, cracked off the cap to my beer, and took a big swig.

  “Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!”

  In an instant, the cold, smooth libation made the world that much more bearable. Placing it in the drink holder on the chair, I took a deep breath and involuntarily reflected on everything I had been through. I realized that as hard as it had been growing up and as difficult as the mind migration was, I’d had it relatively easy. Meeting Charlie had made it obvious that there was an extremely complex and dangerous world out there—one where politics, economics, and power were all that anyone cared about. My mom had done an amazing job of sheltering me from it my entire life, and had it not been for my mind migration, I might have gone on living in my little bubble. Instead, it appeared that all my life struggles up to that point were nothing compared to the trials and tribulations that lay ahead of me. I couldn’t help but liken it to one of the places I had always wanted to visit.

  Tapping my netphone, I flipped to the virtual reality application. “Show me the base of Mount Kilimanjaro, real time.”

  At the west base of the massive, snowcapped peak, my view of the morning sun was completely eclipsed. Seeping around the titanic mound, brilliant light glistened off the fresh morning dew on the tall, wild grass. Peering up, my eyes followed the various trails that hikers had taken while attempting to conquer the colossal pile of earth. Nicknamed the “Walk-Up” mountain, it was probably not a coincidence that I was obsessed with it. Still, less than half of the people setting out to scale it actually ended up on the highest summit. In that sense, the challenges ahead of me were just like that.

  Charlie and people like him were cut from a different cloth than me. They could handle covert meetings, fights, and running for their lives. But I hadn’t so much as slapped another person, much less confronted someone about their murderous father. Helen was right to question me. What if the Padre’s son wasn’t cooperative? What if he was hostile? And even if I discovered that the Padre wasn’t dead and I could locate him, what would I do next? It was clear that I could no longer wander innocently forward on my journey, or I might not live to see it through.

  Leaning back in the chair, I tried to calm myself down by brainstorming ways to handle the situations sure to follow. My thoughts swirled, considering the permutations of how things might turn out. Soon my e
yelids began to get heavy, and before I knew it, they closed. Violent memories coursed through my mind as I settled in.

  A knife fight with an extremist. Shooting at drugged-up buyers trying to steal the product. Punching a giant man—the Padre—in the eye. Bashing a machinist with a hammer. Getting beat down by jail guards. With each flashback, an anger grew in my chest. None of the fights that I recalled ended up being any good for anyone. The war was a disaster. The Padre ruined countless lives, and Charlie decking him was only so he could get away. The poor machinist was in the wrong place at the wrong time. And those bastard jail guards had nothing better to do than rough Charlie up. They weren’t even working for the Padre, or they wouldn’t have left Charlie alive.

  It became clear the fights that lay ahead of me had to be different. I wouldn’t be randomly attacking anyone who crossed me. My battles would be for a man who had been wronged his entire life, and though he’d made mistakes, he’d deserved much better than he was given. My fight was for justice, and anyone who got in my way would feel the righteous indignation of a good man scorned.

  “Don’t worry, Ryan. I’ll teach you the ways.”

  Charlie’s voice had become a beacon of peace for me, and I knew he had something in store to help prepare me. Then I heard another voice.

  “Ryan. Ryan!”

  Popping out of my seat, I was ready for anything. I was frozen for a moment until my eyes finally focused enough to see Helen.

  “Ryan, it’s four-twenty-five AM. The next bullet leaves in twenty minutes, and you’ll want to be on it.”

  Helen, again, had my back.

  “Whew. Thanks.”

  “What happened last night? I was worried as hell when you weren’t in bed.”

  “I must have passed out in the chair.”

  “It’s cold out here. Let’s get inside.”

  Closing the balcony door behind me, a rush of confidence overtook me. “I had a dream, Helen. Everything’s going to be okay.”