Sara's Choice

by Patty Schramm

  But she would damn well make sure Felicia had one of those parents forever. Even if it meant Terry would have to go around with a broken heart. Or if it meant she had to hurt the woman she loved.

  “Damn you, Ann,” she said.

  Terry didn’t think she’d ever be able to move forward with her life, and she sure as hell didn’t expect she’d fall in love again. Then Sara came along and made her rethink everything. She decided to let Sara meet Felicia. They’d made plans. Then William showed up. He’d filed for custody of Felicia. When Terry read the documents, she almost couldn’t believe what she was seeing.

  “Not in the best interest of the child,” it read. It stated she’d ripped Felicia from her network of doctors in Quebec. It went on to say William and his wife were better equipped for Felicia’s needs—both physically and financially. The fact that she had to sell their home was listed as proof Terry didn’t have enough finances to care for her child.

  What a load of bullshit.

  She cringed when he called her, his voice almost cheerful with his news. Terry had just finished work on a new site for one of Frank’s oldest clients. She was filthy, tired, and not in the mood for any of William’s usual crap. “What can I do for you?” she asked.

  “I’m filing for custody of Felicia.”

  “What?” Terry nearly dropped her backpack, laden with tools and equipment. She flung it into the back of her truck and leaned against the quarter panel. “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “I’m going to get custody of my only grandchild. You’re not a fit parent.”

  “You can’t possibly prove any such thing.”

  “You spend very little time with her, and you refuse to bring her here where we can take care of you both. I always hated that Ann lived so far away. You should have let me move you to Vancouver, to live with us instead of moving in with your mother in that backwater town. This is not good for Felicia.”

  “We live closer to Vancouver now. You can get a flight and be here in an hour if you want. It’s not like you can’t afford the trip.”

  “I shouldn’t have to.”

  “And I shouldn’t have to raise her on my own, but I am. I already told you this, William. I couldn’t afford to keep the house on my salary. Besides, my mom needs me here. I have a new business with established clients, and by next year, Felicia and I will have our own home. It’s a good place for us to be.”

  His eerie silence unnerved her. When he spoke, his voice was as cold as a Yukon winter. “Does that include replacing my daughter?”

  “What? I loved Ann.”

  “No, you loved her money. And now you’ve found someone else to tap into. I’ve seen the photos of you out drinking and going to bars. I won’t let you bring up Felicia in that environment.”

  “Photos? What are you talking about?”

  “I hired someone to follow you. These will help me prove you’re an unfit parent. I’ll also bring up the fact Ann didn’t trust you with her money and left it all to her child.”

  Terry’s heart clenched. “Ann knew I wouldn’t want your money any more than she did. That’s why she put it into a trust for Felicia. I won’t touch it, because Felicia will need it when I’m gone. You can’t do this.”

  “I can and I am.”

  “What would it take to make you stop?” She heard the words come out in a panic. Could he really take her child away?

  “First step—stop seeing that woman. I won’t have Ann replaced by someone like her.”

  “And?”

  “Then we’ll talk.”

  And that was it. Terry broke up with Sara the next day, but it wasn’t enough for William. He demanded she move to his house in Vancouver. Terry tried to explain she couldn’t move Felicia so soon. Too much change is bad for her—Felicia wouldn’t understand.

  The next day, he filed for custody.

  The little money in her savings account was now tied up in lawyer and court fees. The only thing in her favor was the case had to be heard by a mediator, which was less expensive than going to court. It also meant William was the one to have to fly back and forth from Vancouver. At least that’s one expense she didn’t have to deal with.

  And it hadn’t mattered if she was with Sara or not.

  Jackie Smith, her lawyer, didn’t think William had much of a chance, but his lawyers were tough and Jackie told her up front it would not be an easy fight. She agreed it was in Felicia’s best interests to stay with her, not her grandparents.

  The energy she put into it all was often overwhelming, and she wanted to be able to go to Sara and hold her and be held and told everything would be okay. Except that it wouldn’t be. More than once she considered calling Sara and trying to mend the mess she’d created. She never should have turned her back on her. Sara was strong, steady, and reliable—and Terry was still desperately in love with her.

  The phone rang and thankfully pulled Terry from her thoughts. “This is Terry.”

  “This is Terry’s mother,” Shirley said with a light laugh. “Are you coming home tonight? I’m fixing spaghetti and there’s this little monster here who’s getting hungry.” As if on cue, Terry heard Felicia repeat her grandmother’s words.

  “Just finishing up some paperwork.”

  Shirley paused. “Are you okay?”

  Terry rolled her eyes. How did her mother do that? Was there ever a time Shirley Alexander hadn’t been able to read her moods? Terry didn’t think so. “Fine. Just having an up-and-down day.”

  “We’ll talk about the down part when you get home. Don’t stay too late, okay?”

  “I’ll leave in a few minutes.”

  “Good girl,” Shirley said. Felicia repeated her words followed by more laughter.

  “Bye, Mom.” Terry disconnected and let her gaze rest on the photo again. That was one of the happiest days in her life. Next to the day she married Ann. She touched the empty ring finger of her left hand and sighed. She thought the absence of the ring would help her move on. It had. For a time.

  She grabbed her coat and keys, locked up the office, and was halfway to her car when she stopped in mid-stride.

  Parked next to her was a shiny, black BMW sedan. The driver stared at her for a moment, and her heart sank. She’d know him anywhere. She wanted to put her head down and pretend she’d never seen the vehicle. Too late. She’d already been spotted.

  William Dillson climbed out of the sleek car, dressed as impeccably as ever in black slacks and a gray overcoat that hung to his knees. His leather gloves were pulled tight over his large hands. He trod into Terry’s personal space. He loomed a foot taller than her, but she did her best not to allow him to intimidate her.

  “You haven’t responded to my phone calls.”

  “Nice to see you, too.” She glared at her daughter’s grandfather. “What do you want?”

  His hazel eyes, so much like Ann’s, narrowed at her. “I’ve come for Felicia. I have a right to see her.”

  Terry’s temper neared boiling point. “That’s for the lawyers to work out.”

  “I’m her grandfather.”

  “An unfortunate biological fact, but not one that requires me to let you see her. Besides, our lawyers are still fighting this out. Talk to yours, and if there’s anything I need to know or do, mine will get back to me. We’re not supposed to discuss this without them present.”

  She moved past him, but he grabbed her forearm to stop her. His grip tightened. “You won’t keep the child from me.”

  “I never intended to, but I’m glad I moved up here.” She pulled away from him. “You touch me again and I’ll file charges. Understand?” She didn’t wait for a reply. She got in her truck and left.

  Her hands shook as she pulled away. Ann used to tell her stories of her father and his anger when he didn’t get his way. Sometimes that anger had physical manifestations, though he’d never outright hit Ann. His threats were far worse than any physical pain.

&
nbsp; He liked to throw around the fact that Ann needed him and his money. He paid for university. Bought her a nice car and her first apartment, but he couldn’t buy her happiness. That she was a lesbian was, at one time, a huge bone of contention. It was the only time Terry knew of when Ann’s mother stepped in to smooth things over.

  William never accepted Terry into their lives. She wasn’t rich and worked her ass off to go to university and get her degree. She was still working on her masters, though that was on hold at the moment.

  When Ann proposed, William tried to force her to have Terry sign a prenuptial agreement. Terry was more than happy to do it. She didn’t give a damn about William or his money, but Ann lost her composure, and for the first time in her life, she stood up to the man. In the end, he cut her off from any money except her trust fund. Ann, being Ann, got a job, and together they found an affordable house, fixed it up, and settled in. Without any of William’s help.

  Terry knew he was still pissed about it.

  Felicia’s birth brought him back into their lives, mostly due to his wife, Jennifer, wanting to see her granddaughter. Jennifer was good for Felicia, and Terry knew Felicia missed her. She’d be happy for Jennifer to see Felicia, if she’d do it without William.

  Terry pulled into the driveway and took a moment to compose herself before going inside. Felicia could sense Terry’s moods. She wanted to be in a good one and see her child’s smiling face. That would make her day.

  She wasn’t disappointed. The moment she stepped through the door, Felicia wrapped her arms around Terry. “I missed you, Mommy!”

  Terry choked back sudden tears and picked Felicia up, twirling her around in the process. “I missed you, too. Did you have a good day?”

  “Yep.” And that was all the answer she’d get. If Felicia didn’t want to talk about it, there was nothing anyone could do to make her. Terry gave her a kiss on both cheeks and put her down. “You have to eat. Grams says so.” She scurried away, plopped on the floor of the living room amongst her crayons and coloring book, and got busy.

  Terry set her briefcase down, removed her coat, and entered the kitchen.

  “Timing,” Shirley said. She held a plate of spaghetti she was just about to put into the fridge. “I’ll heat this up for you. Grab something to drink. You want some garlic bread?”

  “Is it homemade?”

  Shirley feigned being hurt, her hand over her heart. “You wound me, child. Have I ever served you frozen bread?”

  “If I answer that with the truth, do I still get to eat?”

  “Maybe.”

  “Then no. You would never do that.”

  “Good choice.” Shirley handed over the steaming plate of food and got some bread ready for her. “How was your day?”

  “Why does it sound like a loaded question when you ask it, but normal from anyone else?”

  “Because I know you better than anyone else. And you can’t hide the fact that you started to cry when Felicia hugged you.” Shirley gave her some fresh garlic bread and sat across the table from her. “I got a call from William today.”

  “Bastard,” Terry said under her breath. She glanced to the living room to see if Felicia was listening. She didn’t appear to be, but her child had super hearing so she kept her voice low. “He tried to railroad me at the office. I told him to talk to his lawyer.”

  “That all?”

  “He grabbed my arm.” Terry watched the color drain from her mother’s face. “He didn’t hurt me. But I have a feeling he’s up to something. I got the impression he’s even more impatient, like he wants this all said and done right now. I don’t like that he’s here in Whitehorse, and I’m a little scared he’s going to try to take Felicia.”

  “We won’t let that happen.” Shirley’s eyes hardened as they often did when talking about William. “He doesn’t have any rights to her as a grandparent, unless the mediator decides differently.” She ran a hand through her short, light-brown hair. “You need to talk to Sally Johnson and make sure the school knows that William isn’t allowed near Felicia.”

  “I’ll do that.” Terry wiped her mouth and pushed away her half-eaten food. Her stomach wanted to reject what she’d already swallowed. “I really wish I had as much money as he does. At least that part of his ridiculous claim wouldn’t be an issue.”

  “You don’t have to raise her on your finances alone. I told you to have Jackie include my income.”

  “I can’t include your income, Mom. I need to do this on my own. It’s not like we’re in the poor house. I make enough money to take care of my family. Anyway, I got the impression he’s pissed I won’t use Ann’s money for Felicia unless I have to. But she’ll need it later in life. We don’t know what her development will be like, and I want to know she’s financially secure. Why the hell does he feel he has the right to do this?”

  Shirley moved her chair next to Terry’s and embraced her. “I don’t know. Probably goes back to how he’s always gotten his way.”

  “I guess, but Mom, he doesn’t even understand Felicia or what she needs. He thinks she’s an eight-year-old infant, and it pisses me off to see her treated like that.”

  “I think it pisses her off as well.”

  Terry gave a short laugh. “Probably does. She’s a damn smart kid.”

  “She is. Call Jackie tomorrow. Ask her what you can do about him coming to see you today. Mention how he grabbed you.”

  “It’s my word against his.”

  “Isn’t it always? Please talk to her. She’ll know what to do.”

  “Think she can fix my broken heart while she’s at it?” Terry asked.

  “I wish she could, honey. I wish you’d have talked to me first before breaking up with Sara. I thought she was really good for you.”

  “So did I. I wouldn’t have set it up for her to meet Felicia otherwise.” Terry gazed into the living room at her child, certain Felica was listening to them.

  “You should talk to Sara.”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea. It’s all I can do to make eye contact with her when I see her in town or at the bank. How could I possibly talk to her? What would I say? Sorry, but I was a complete chicken shit and should have just told you what was going on? Forgive me and take me back?”

  “That’s a little awkward, but it’s a start.” Shirley kissed Terry on the forehead and got up. “Think about it. That’s all I ask. Now, try to finish your dinner. I’m sure you either skipped lunch or had something crappy.”

  “They were good.”

  “They?”

  “The donuts.”

  “Stale?” Shirley asked.

  “Um…”

  “Finish your dinner. I’ll get Felicia ready for bed. When you’re done, you can read to her.”

  Terry didn’t want to eat but felt the need to oblige her mother. “Thanks, Mom.” Shirley nodded before sweeping Felicia off the floor and tickling her all the way to her bedroom.

  Terry’s stomach complained after a few more forkfuls of spaghetti, so she stopped.

  She closed her eyes, and an image of Ann appeared, dressed in her favorite torn jeans and worn-out, k.d. lang T-shirt. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and her eyes twinkled with mischief. Terry wanted to slap the grin off her face. She wanted to throttle her and, at the same time, scoop her into her arms and hold her forever.

  She wanted to blame Ann for dying. It would give her someone to be angry at. But the car’s brakes locked up on a patch of black ice, sending it into a spin. It slammed against the guard rail, smashing the driver’s side against the steel barrier. Ann died instantly of a broken neck from the impact. The RCMP said the crash was over in seconds.

  The anger lingered in the back of her mind for years, making itself known when Terry was least equipped to deal with it.

  Sara helped Terry realize she needed to move past the anger and allow herself to grieve.

  Was it some kind of cosmic joke she had to giv
e up Sara to keep Felicia? What would Ann say if she knew? She’d probably shake some sense into Terry and order her to talk to Sara. But Terry didn’t think that was possible now. She’d lost the only two women she’d ever love. She accepted that and would move on. No more dating. No more relationships. The pain was too much to deal with.

  She opened her eyes, wiped away the latest batch of tears, and stacked her dirty dishes in the dishwasher. Plastering on the most genuine smile she could muster, she grabbed Where the Wild Things Are and went to Felicia’s room for her nightly reading.

  Chapter Three

  “You didn’t,” Grace said, not exactly hiding her surprise. She sat across the table from Sara at Pot O’ Gold for their weekly luncheon. It was Wednesday, and they were the only customers at the moment. “Tell me you didn’t.”

  Sara tried to hide her disappointment. “My clothes were all over the room, Gracie. I have no damn idea what we did, but I found my shoe in the bathtub and a shirt tucked under the mattress.”

  “And you still don’t remember a thing?” Grace’s lovely face pinched a little, like she was trying hard not to bust out laughing.

  “Nope.” Sara glanced away from her for a moment. “I wish like hell I did. Sounds like we had a great time.”

  “And you’re going out with her next Saturday?”

  “I am. Dancing again. It’s a new club out on Highway 1, but I’ve never heard of it. Bren runs in circles I don’t.”

  “Circles for little kids.” Grace’s brown eyes twinkled. Unlike Liv, Grace found the humor in Sara’s weird Friday night. “Is she legal to go places that sell alcohol?”

  “Ha-ha. Yes, she is. She’s twenty-two, if you must know.”

  “Wow. You’re sure about a second date?”

  Sara sighed dramatically. “Sort of. I mean, she obviously wants to see me again. Maybe I’m hoping for a repeat of Friday night—minus the amnesia.”

  “Then I suggest you stick to soda.”

  “That’s the plan.” Sara took a sip of her diet drink and sat back in the booth. “Tell me your plans. I assume you’ve gotten more done on the wedding?”