Paradise Can Be Murder

by Susan Bernhardt

  Phil started choking on his coffee.

  “Are you okay?”

  He put his hand up and coughed a few more times. “I’m fine.”

  “I suppose I should have gone out at the crack of dawn. By the way, we have to be out of here in about an hour.”

  Phil’s eyes remained on the television. “The concert won’t be over yet.”

  I picked up my food tray and headed towards the balcony door. “We don’t want to miss the ship, besides not wanting to end up paying for an extra day here.”

  “You don’t want to watch the concert?”

  “I’d rather look out over the beach. Checkout time is eleven o’clock.”

  After eating, I took a shower and packed up the bags. At eleven o’clock sharp, I was down at the front desk checking out while Phil was in the shower. He had left the bathroom door wide open, with the television turned way up. I looked through my travel brochures in the lobby until Phil came down.

  We arrived at the cruise terminal around noon. The ship awaiting its passengers was an awesome, jaw-dropping sight, massive in length and way over a dozen decks high. I just stood there in total amazement. I started taking photos of the ship with my cellphone until Phil took my hand and led me towards a long queue of passengers winding back and forth waiting to be checked in. When we started to cross the gangway to enter the ship after checking in, I turned around and gave Phil a big kiss. “I love you. I’m so excited. This will be such fun.”

  “I love you also, Kay. Always remember that.”

  I turned around and kept walking. Again, “always remember that”? The things coming out of Phil’s mouth these past few days were so strange. Was it more than a guitar? Did he have a health problem he hadn’t told me about? I didn’t know about any doctor appointments he might have gone to.

  Our cabin was on the Baja Deck, Room B706. When we opened the door to our stateroom, I put my purse on the bed and looked around. The room was on the smaller side, but still spacious enough for the two of us. The bed was queen sized. There was a sofa with a coffee table and a couple of rounded back club chairs. A bottle of red wine waited on the desk. I went over and read the card. It was from our travel agent. What was Phil’s surprise? There weren’t any flowers in the room. I went past the television hanging from the wall above the desk, over to the balcony door and opened it. Out on the balcony were two all-weather chairs and a small cocktail table and a beautiful view of the sparkling water.

  Perhaps Phil had ordered a candlelit dinner on our balcony for some evening this week and we would look up at the starlit sky while dining. Oh, Phil could be so romantic. I could picture it all. Or had he planned a full, relaxing day at the spa just for the two of us? I’m sure it was something fabulous like that...a romantic couples massage. I went back into our room and put my arms around Phil. Whatever his surprise was, I knew I was going to love it.

  After spending a wonderful, passionate half hour in our room, with promises of more to come, we left to explore the ship. Unpacking would come later.

  I looked down the four decks and took in the panoramic view of the atrium. The central point of the ship was absolutely gorgeous, as were the four spiral staircases going down to it. There were restaurants on the different levels. Looking at the atrium again, I shook my head, blinked hard, and did a double-take. I saw a slender girl in a sweater and long white pants, taking photos. I couldn’t quite see her face, with the camera up to her eyes. She turned around in a circle, snapping photos of everything.

  Phil was studying the map of the ship. “I almost thought I saw a girl who looked like Janey in the atrium. I must be imaging things. I must really need a break from her.”

  I looked back again. The girl was gone. Thank goodness. I’m sure there were lots of kids on the ship with shoulder length brown hair, the lowest part being dyed jet black that hadn’t grown out yet.

  We started down the four flights of the marble staircase toward the atrium. All of the railings, the walls in the entire area were gold-tone as if King Midas had touched everything within his reach.

  Being naturally drawn to pastry shops, as soon as I reached the bottom of the staircase in the atrium, I instantly saw a patisserie type shop. I went over to look at their selections of baked goods. Glancing up to see if Phil had caught up with me yet, I spotted Elizabeth, Deirdre, and Mike walking in our direction. I waved. When Phil reached me, I said, “They’re here.”

  Totally poised, Deirdre seemed to float along towards us wearing a bell sleeved, long hippie dress with a high neckline and sandals. Elizabeth, teetering on her heels, had on an off-the-shoulder green bodycon dress that fit like her own skin. A floppy straw hat with a wide band completed her look. Mike saw us, gave a look of recognition and waved. He had on a black Oxford shirt and khakis.

  “Kay, Kay!” Those words weren’t coming from Deirdre’s or Elizabeth’s mouths as they were walking in my direction. I heard my name being called again.

  When they reached us, we hugged and then I said, “I almost thought I saw Janey.” I laughed and looked at Phil. He was watching me, then instantly started talking to Mike about the Clapton concert he had just watched at the hotel.

  “Kay, I’m so sorry,” Deirdre said. “I wanted to tell you.”

  My eyebrows squished together. “Tell me what?”

  “We didn’t want to ruin our shopping trip or the bon voyage party,” Elizabeth said.

  I smiled. “Please, tell me, what are you both talking about?”

  Suddenly a camera flash blinded me for a few seconds. “Surprise!”

  My mouth fell open. It couldn’t be. I felt a fluttery feeling in the pit of my stomach. The voice...When I finally could see again, I looked from her over to Phil still seeing dots in my eyes. Phil was looking up at the ceiling. I looked back at Janey. She took a second photo of me. I continued to see spots.

  “Janey, what are you doing here?”

  “Surprise! Are you surprised?” Janey dropped her camera, the strap catching it around her neck, and wrapped her arms around me. Her camera pressed against my stomach.

  I looked over at Phil again while Janey hugged me. His focus fell from the ceiling down to the floor, then he started talking to Mike again. “Looking forward to the music on board,” I heard him say.

  That was going to be all he would be able to look forward to.

  Janey beamed brightly. “Well, are you surprised? Phil and I thought we’d surprise you.”

  I put my arm around her shoulder. “You both definitely succeeded. Words can’t express how surprised I am. Where is your father?”

  She was looking around the atrium, taking aim with her camera and snapped a photo of the pastry shop, then turned back to me. “He isn’t here. He had to go out of town.”

  My heart started pounding harder and almost in double time. “Then who are you staying with on the ship?” I asked, afraid to hear the answer.

  She clicked her tongue. “You and Phil, of course. Who else? Everyone knew I was coming except you. Phil said to keep it a secret. The surprise would be more fun that way.”

  Phil stopped talking to Mike and looked over at me. “Kay, Loren had to go to bartender’s school in California and didn’t have anyone to watch Janey over spring break.”

  I glared at Phil. Janey’s dad could have taken her to visit her mother in California for the week.

  “He has to go if he wanted to keep his job at The Starlite.”

  Janey walked over to the center of the atrium to take a picture of the decks above. I looked at Phil again. He looked worried, like he wanted to crawl into a hole.

  “You don’t just book a cruise last minute. You must have known ahead of time. Way ahead of time. We’ll talk about this later, Phil Driscoll.”

  Elizabeth, Deirdre, and Mike looked between each other and then back to Phil and me. They all knew how miffed I was and would have been, had I known.

  Janey joined us again. I moved her bangs out of her eyes.

  “When did you have th
e time to pack with all of your exams?” I could only imagine what she packed for the formal nights, although she did look cute in her navy striped sweater and white jeans. “And you’ll miss school. This cruise is longer than a week.”

  “I’m missing school,” Phil said, shrugging his shoulders. I looked at him scowling. You think he’d be smart enough to keep quiet. Phil was also on spring break from luthier school and would be missing a few days.”

  I turned back to Janey.

  “Oh, Kay, this is going to be so much fun. My teacher said as long as I take lots of photos and give a presentation when I get back, the few days I miss of school are fine with her.”

  Even the teacher knew about Janey joining us.

  “Being here is education enough,” Phil added.

  I guess he wasn’t smart enough to keep quiet.

  Janey smiled. “I’m so excited. I’ve never been on a ship before. We can have pajama parties in the room at night.” She took my arm and led me away, saying something about us going on a Treasure Hunt to win a thousand dollars. I turned and looked back at Elizabeth and Deirdre who were both watching us, their heads together, frowning.

  Later at the Sail Away celebration, where a talented reggae band was playing, I realized that Janey had entered every contest she could find on board. She was standing next to the pool waiting for when they announced the winners of the Treasure Hunt, the Shore Excursion Special Raffle, the contest to win a favorite spa treatment for up to $500. I had to admit, I admired her quality of always being hopeful.

  * * * *

  That afternoon all of us participated in the mandatory safety drill. While watching the demonstration on how to put on a life jacket, I whispered to Phil, “I hope that you’re listening carefully for when I throw you overboard for your ‘big surprise’.”

  “Don’t worry, Kay. Janey will give us our privacy. She’s old enough to know we need that. She’ll have the entire ship to explore.”

  “Right. And she’ll be sleeping inches from us every night.”

  The conversation stalled. Phil just looked at me.

  “How could you do this? First Andy’s wedding, and now on our romantic getaway.”

  “Deirdre and Mike and Elizabeth are here with us. It’s not only our romantic getaway.”

  I turned away and wiped a tear rolling down my cheek.

  Phil handed me a crisp, white handkerchief he had taken from his pocket. “Kay, it won’t be that bad. Think of the fun you’ll have with your two best friends.”

  I looked back at Phil. “You need to take Janey after the drill. I want to call Andy and Will to let them know we arrived safely on the ship, and tell them about your big surprise.”

  Just then Janey snapped a photo of us with our life preservers on.

  * * * *

  Going down to dinner that night, I decided I’d make the best of Janey being on the ship. I had always made the best of all the situations Phil had put me in. And there were many over the years, too many to count. I was “resilient” after all.

  At dinner, we sat at a table for six. The dining room was quite elegant with dazzling chandeliers, high ceilings, and lots of gold everywhere. Large windows allowed sensational views of the Caribbean Sea. The china, silver, and glass on the table sparkled in the flattering light. We were welcomed by the waiter and assistant waiter, and were given menus. They were wearing white, long sleeve shirts, gold vests, and black slacks. Janey studied her menu before our orders were taken. She was thrilled to make her own selections as to the different courses. I must say she had an adventurous palate.

  After the waiters left, Janey looked around the spacious dining room. “I could live like this the rest of my life!”

  I smiled. “Well, enjoy. We have ten days of living this fantasy.”

  As the sun went down, the dining room adjusted its ambiance accordingly with soft glowing lights reflecting in the windows.

  Our table was situated between a table for four people and a table for two. After the first thirty minutes, I knew we were going to get an earful from both of the tables. To the left of us were two couples. One of the women, a platinum blonde who was in her early-to-mid forties complained to the waiter incessantly about her many dietary restrictions. While waiting for her appetizer I could hear her complain about their room being too small and not liking where it was situated on the ship.

  “I thought you could choose where you wanted your stateroom to be,” Janey said. She must also have heard the conversation. How could she not? The woman’s voice carried.

  “That’s right. You can choose your stateroom and also can choose which deck you want to be on,” I responded.

  The other woman at that table with bright orange, short hair was closer to our ages. She had a dark tan with noticeably deep wrinkles on her face and thin arms. She was wearing a sleeveless black mock-neck dress. Her husband also had a deep, dark tan, with his shirt opened two buttons revealing a heavy gold chain and large medallion. I wondered how many Caribbean cruises they had been on.

  On the table to the right of us sat a couple that, for lack of a better word, looked angry, at least the man did. The waiter addressed them as Mr. and Mrs. Smith. They sat in silence unless the husband was ridiculing his wife in some manner. There was a tightness to his expression and in his dark eyes. He appeared to be in his late forties, had a prominent nose, a receding hairline, a strong jaw, and a stubborn chin. He was wearing a navy sports coat, a light blue Oxford shirt and khakis. He might have been considered handsome, if he didn’t wear such a scowl. The wife looked to be in her early forties, had lips that pressed together in a slight grimace. She had finer features, an oval face with a small nose, the tip of which turned up. She wore a beautiful tailored white pantsuit.

  A sommelier came to their table, blocking my view somewhat. Mr. Smith ordered a bottle of Chardonnay. “I hope they get it straight,” I heard Mr. Smith say after the sommelier retreated.

  When he came back a short while later with the wine in an ice bucket, a clean folded napkin covering the bottle, he showed the wine to Mr. Smith, then opened it. The sommelier then poured a small amount into the glass, and handed it to the man. Mr. Smith swirled the wine, sniffed it, then tasted it. While he was tasting the wine, the sommelier provided information on the origin of the wine. It sounded expensive.

  Mr. Smith held out his glass to the wine expert. “I’m not sure.” The sommelier poured the glass half full. Mr. Smith tasted the wine again and said, “This isn’t what I ordered.”

  “Sir, this is exactly what you ordered. I showed you the bottle.”

  Mr. Smith looked so full of himself. “Take it away. It’s not suitable. It must have been a bad year. Instead, bring me a bottle of your best Pinot Grigio, and make sure it doesn’t cost more than thirty dollars.”

  Mr. Smith had just received a free glass of wine. I smiled at Mrs. Smith when she saw me looking in their direction. She responded with a smile that wavered then looked down at her empty plate.

  “I wonder if we can get our table changed to another area,” Phil said. If Phil was aware of our neighboring tables, then I assumed everyone must have been.

  “I think that would be difficult finding another table for six,” I said quietly. “We’ll just have to make the best of it.”

  I continued to watch the couple out of the corner of my eye.

  The sommelier returned to the Smiths’ table and did his routine again with the new bottle of wine.

  “This is much better,” Mr. Smith said. “Exactly what I ordered.”

  We were talking about the evening’s entertainment when the assistant waiter brought the appetizers.

  I could hear the complainer mention that her pan-seared scallops were cold.

  Janey looked at me, and shrugged. Then reaching for a roll, she knocked the basket over, a few rolls landed on the floor over by the Smiths. When I went over to pick them up, I could smell Mr. Smith’s liberally applied cologne. He gave me an annoyed look, then proceeded to snap at his
wife when I heard her say, “I don’t understand why we couldn’t have sat with the other couples. It would have been nice to have someone to talk—”

  He cut his wife off in mid-sentence. “Just because I work with them, doesn’t mean I like them. Although if they come over, you’d better be civil.”

  Looking over at Janey, I noticed she was staring at the couple. “Janey, it’s not nice to stare at people,” I whispered.

  She wrinkled her nose. “But that man is so nasty to his wife.”

  “He is, isn’t he? Let’s try and focus on our table. How do you like your marinated seafood antipasto?”

  I cut a piece of my grilled prawn. I bit into it and savored its perfect explosion of garlic and herbs.

  “What are these called again?” Janey asked.

  “Black mussels,” Phil replied.

  Deirdre looked over at the couple. “They exude negative energy.”

  “You mean the man does?” I asked.

  She shrugged.

  Elizabeth smirked. “I bet he has a dark aura.”

  Deirdre glared at Elizabeth. “I hope they aren’t a risk to each other’s well-being.”

  I was glad when Janey changed the subject, taking her camera out of her purse, and proceeded to snap a photo of her seafood appetizer. “I’ve decided to do a photo exposé of the food on the cruise. Well, really of everything.”

  “That would make an interesting presentation for your class,” Mike said. “You’ll definitely have a lot of subject matter.” Mike had a thin physique like Deirdre. He kept his long hair tied back. He was also into spiritualism, but wasn’t as verbal about it as Deirdre was. He worked as an acupuncturist and reflexologist in the lower level of their home.

  Our first dinner was wonderful. I ordered the grilled seafood (salmon, red snapper, shrimp, and sea scallops) skewer with mango and lime salsa. Phil had ordered pan roasted fillet of Kingklip, a type of fish. Little did I realize that Phil would order some kind of seafood every evening of the cruise for dinner. I was amazed at how much Janey could eat, having gone up to get a slice of pizza prior to dinner. Throughout dinner we heard bits and pieces of the lone couple’s conversation. The man was definitely a bully to his none-too-happy wife.