Paradise Can Be Murder

by Susan Bernhardt

  After karaoke, Janey mentioned something about the tween club. She wanted the three of us to check it out with her. As soon as we walked into the area, we saw a table loaded with a variety of pizzas. Music was playing. There was a D.J. and dance area, as well as a board game area and a video and gaming system area. A boy and girl around her age came over and introduced themselves to her.

  She grabbed a piece of pizza and told us subtly we could leave. “Good-bye all. You can go now.”

  I told her we’d be back in an hour to see how she was doing.

  * * * *

  That evening, back in our room, Janey told me about how much fun the tween group was and about all of the activities the group offered: scavenger hunts, dance parties, talent shows, karaoke, sports tournaments, theme nights. Before going to bed, Janey decided she wanted to experience breakfast in bed, and proceeded to fill out the Stateroom Breakfast Menu, practically choosing one of each item. I didn’t realize until the next morning that she had checked the box off to have the meal delivered at six-thirty.

  Phil quietly slipped into bed just after midnight. I had my back to him and pretended to be asleep. My eyes focused on the clock on my bedside table.

  Chapter Seven

  Day Three on the ship

  Monday, March 28

  “ISN’T THIS THE life, breakfast in bed!” Janey exclaimed. I opened one eye and peeked out of the bed sheet I had pulled over my head earlier when I heard the knock on the door at an ungodly hour.

  A huge tray filled with various dishes, glasses of milk and juice sat on top of the desk. Janey was taking each course to her bed. I glanced over at Phil to see if she was talking to him. He was still lying next to me asleep. Then I remembered his getting in late.

  I took my pillow and placed it over my head for more soundproofing. Before I knew it, it was eight-thirty and Phil had his arm around me. Janey had already left the room. A tray of empty dishes lay on the desk.

  “Every morning Janey is the first one out exploring. We should have some cuddle time then.”

  Sitting up in bed, I feigned a laugh. “And have her traipsing back in at any moment. I don’t think so.”

  Phil put his hands behind his head and laughed. “She always has that darn camera around her neck taking pictures of anything and everything.”

  I smiled. “I know. It’s kind of cute. She’s so excited about everything.” I was happy she was.

  I decided to approach the subject. “I went past the blues club yesterday evening and saw you talking with the singer. She seemed really friendly.”

  “She is really friendly. The band has to be friendly to everyone. It’s their job.” He got up off the bed.

  Right, touching her ruby red lips constantly and touching your arm.

  “If they weren’t, they wouldn’t last long on the ship. I’m going in the shower unless you want to go first.”

  “No. You go ahead.”

  Today was our first day at sea and formal night in the dining room. At breakfast, the four of us decided how we would spend our day. Well, I should really say the three of us. Elizabeth’s eyes were still half closed, and she barely spoke a word except to ask for a second cup of coffee. Deirdre was wearing exercise pants as she continued to get up early each morning to go to yoga to awaken her chakras before breakfast. Janey was having her second breakfast. It appeared much lighter than her first.

  Mike took a bite of his blueberry pancakes. “The blues band was great yesterday evening.”

  “It’s the best band on the ship, don’t you think?” Phil said.

  “Definitely,” Mike responded.

  I bet Phil wished the band was playing again during the day. I shook my head, knowing I was being silly and overreacting. It wasn’t like me to feel jealous.

  “Kay, what are you shaking your head about?” Janey asked.

  I smiled. “Oh, I didn’t realize I was.” Everyone looked over at me. Think of something fast. “I hope Neelam and Dinesh are doing well.”

  Everyone nodded.

  “Not much we can do about that here,” Phil said.

  After breakfast, Phil and Mike headed off to the fitness club while the rest of us took off for Zumba.

  On the way, I said to Janey, “Next time, please don’t order room service at such an early hour.”

  “Is that what you were really thinking about at breakfast?”

  I didn’t respond.

  After a great Zumba workout, where Elizabeth’s caffeine had kicked in, the room was used for line dancing. Energized, she suggested we stay. When the music began I thought about Phil lucking out. I wanted him to take dance classes with me, but line dancing was a pass for him.

  We met up with the guys after the class. I had previously talked to Phil about spending time with Janey for a while this morning. Phil and Mike took Janey with them to a trivia contest while Deirdre, Elizabeth, and I left for the spa.

  On our way, we passed through the pool area and saw the woman with the deep wrinkles, who sat at the dining room table next to ours. She was reclining on a lounge chair in her swimsuit soaking up the sun. There was a heavy sheen of oil on her skin. Next to her was her friend, the complainer, who seemed to be having trouble adjusting the pillow of her lounger, punching it numerous times. I smiled when they looked up at us.

  “Do you think that woman could get any darker?” Deirdre said after we passed them.

  Elizabeth shook her head. “I don’t think so. And her skin is beyond repair.”

  When we arrived at the spa we looked over their “Menu of Salon Services.”

  “The Chocolate Body Indulgence sounds interesting,” Elizabeth said.

  I figured she was joking. “A chocolate polish to the skin, then cocooning the body in a chocolate mousse mask and being massaged with chocolate oil.” I laughed. It was hard to imagine a chocolate covered Elizabeth.

  “I would rather eat my chocolate,” Deirdre said.

  “Shoot! I wish John was here so we could have had a couples massage.” Elizabeth settled on a bamboo massage with essential oils.

  Immediately I guessed what Deirdre would choose, and I was right.

  “A Thai Herbal Poultice Massage sounds perfect,” she said.

  I was positive this would be research for her herbal shop. She had already mentioned the possibility of having massages at Planetary Herbals, her new age shop.

  I decided to relax in the hydropool. We each went our separate ways which was fine with me as I had some thinking to do. Mainly I thought about Phil, still a bit miffed at his little trick of bringing Janey along. Although, I had to admit, everything was working out better than I first imagined. The bubbling water felt totally relaxing and soothing. The longer I stayed, the less annoyed I was about his ploy. I left about an hour later after collecting brochures at the spa that Janey requested for her school report.

  When I arrived in the dining room, Phil, Mike, and Janey were talking about some “obnoxious know-it-alls” at trivia.

  I placed the brochures down on the table in front of Janey. “Who are you talking about? Obnoxious know-it-alls?”

  All three of them laughed.

  “Us! We were the know-it-alls,” Janey said. “The lounge was full of different groups playing trivia and we won.”

  “Janey was terrific,” Phil said.

  “She knew every contemporary pop artist question,” Mike added.

  Janey smiled large, then took a big bite of her hamburger.

  Elizabeth and Deirdre came into the dining room. “Kay, you should have stayed at the spa longer. After our treatments, Deirdre took me to a beginner’s class on chakras,” Elizabeth said.

  Janey squinted. “Chakras? What are those?”

  Deirdre sat down. “The seven centers in our body that energy flows through.”

  Elizabeth smiled. “Anyway, I told the instructor, a great looking man I might add, I was so getting the hang of chakras.”

  “She was playing up to him. Showing off,” Deirdre said, picking up he
r menu. “She told him she was able to activate her chakras.”

  Elizabeth gave Deirdre an annoyed look.

  Deirdre started laughing, “Moments later, Elizabeth realized the enlightenment she had just bragged about was from the sun beating on her through the windows.”

  “It was making me lightheaded. Talk about being embarrassed.”

  Deirdre smiled. “You had to be there.” While Elizabeth was ordering, Deirdre said out of the side of her mouth, “What do you expect, coming from our Elizabeth?”

  I smiled. “But you have to love her.”

  After lunch, the four of us went to the Art Auction. As we sat looking at the paintings as they were taken up onstage, Janey asked, “Why again are we here?”

  “Mainly for the free champagne,” Elizabeth responded.

  A waiter headed our way. Elizabeth reached for a glass.

  “Can I have a glass?” Janey asked.

  “No. You can’t. Seriously, Janey, there wasn’t anything else going on at this hour?” I said quietly. “You could have checked out what the tweens were doing.”

  Ignoring my last statement, Janey repeated what was just said by the auctioneer. “This is world class art?”

  “Please speak quieter, Janey,” I said.

  “These paintings are all boring. They need to be spruced up a bit,” Janey said. “They need some pizzazz.” She got up and went over to the table laid out with cubed cheese and crackers.

  “Our personal art critic,” Elizabeth said.

  I squinted at the paintings. Janey was right. I took another glass of champagne off the tray of a second passing waiter, leaned back and relaxed, sipping the fine bubbles. Perhaps when you had enough to drink, the paintings did improve.

  Janey returned and leaned back also, her elbows resting on the arm of the chair, her fist against her cheek. She let out a loud sigh. “They said the cheese and crackers were for the bidders.”

  “Janey, did you remember to enter the raffle to win one of these works of art?” I asked.

  “No.” She quickly got up and went over to the desk with Deirdre, who volunteered to go with her, to fill out the form.

  When Janey returned, she sat back in her chair and folded her arms, once again looking bored.

  “Soon we’ll be going to the tea where you will have the most delicious desserts,” I said. “Almost as good as Marissa’s.”

  Her eyes brightened.

  At three o’clock, the afternoon tea time, the four of us entered the dining room. When we were directed to a table, we saw Mrs. Smith, without her obnoxious husband, sitting alone at a different large table. She smiled and gave a slight wave. We went over to her table instead and asked if we could join her.

  “Yes, please do. My name is Sybil. I recognize you from the dining room. You’re at the table next to my husband and myself.”

  “I’m Janey. Looks like your husband doesn’t like going to tea either. Neither do theirs.” She motioned in our direction.

  Elizabeth, Deirdre, and I introduced ourselves. Janey stood up and walked a few feet to get a better angle to take photos of the desserts.

  “I was in your snorkeling group yesterday morning and saw you rescue the woman that was having trouble swimming back to the boat,” Elizabeth said. “You’re an excellent swimmer.”

  “Thank you. I’m a physical education teacher and swim team coach at my high school.”

  “I’m thinking of joining the swim team at my school,” Janey said, sitting back at the table, eating a chocolate-dipped strawberry.

  That was the first I heard of it.

  Sybil smiled at Janey. “It’s a great social activity that builds sportsmanship and camaraderie and....” She stopped talking in mid-sentence when a couple entered the dining room. I looked over to see what had distracted her and saw a distinguished looking man with graying hair, who appeared to be in his late forties. He was with a woman at least ten years his senior.

  Sybil was looking at them, her mouth still open. My eyes went between her and the couple. The man was wearing a white, button-down shirt that skimmed his body, dark, straight cut dress slacks, and elegant shoes. The woman, with an expensive haircut and a confident gait, was immaculately clad in a beige pantsuit. I thought I saw a glint of recognition in his eyes when they passed by our table. Sybil gave just a hint of a smile.

  I looked over at the couple again and then back to Sybil. Her eyes followed the man and woman until they were seated three tables away. The man’s back was to us. The woman was in full view.

  “Do you know the couple that just went past?” I asked Sybil, the pallor of her skin had shifted to blush pink.

  “Which couple are you referring to?”

  The couple you were staring at. “The man about your age and the older woman that just passed our table.”

  A fleeting shadow crossed her face. She looked down, pursing her lips. “No. Not at all. Do you?” She then turned back to Janey without waiting for my reply. “It’s also a large commitment, so you need to be passionate about joining the team.”

  I looked over at Deirdre and Elizabeth to see if they thought anything about Sybil’s denial, but they were listening to the conversation taking place. I turned back to that and thought, a great social activity, large commitment. Janey wouldn’t be over after school every day until dinner time. A swim team sounded good to me.

  “It sounds great,” Janey said.

  Four dapper waiters circulated among the tables in the dining room. Eventually they came over and surrounded our table. One waiter had a pot of tea, another an array of savory finger sandwiches. The third waiter offered us enticing pastries and the fourth a variety of scones with Devonshire clotted cream, lemon curd, and an assortment of preserves.

  Janey’s eyes lit up. My eyes lit up. Everything looked so scrumptious, it was difficult for Janey to decide which to choose. The waiters and I frowned at her suggestion that she should try one of everything. Before the waiters went to the next table, Janey made her selections.

  “I do remember you now from the morning snorkeling. I thought I had seen you somewhere besides the dining room,” Sybil said to Elizabeth.

  “These sandwiches aren’t as good as Marissa’s tea sandwiches,” Janey said to me. She put her cucumber dill sandwich on her plate. “I knew I should have taken one of each kind.”

  “Marissa’s?” Sybil said.

  “Sweet Marissa’s Patisserie, our local hangout,” Janey said.

  I smiled. Marissa always made special sandwiches for Janey.

  “She has pastries to die for,” Janey added. “But on the ship, we go every morning to the pastry shop to get our fix. They aren’t nearly as good.”

  Sybil nodded.

  “You’re so adventurous at dinner. You could have chosen a more exciting sandwich than dill cucumber. The waiters will come around again.”

  “What did you take, Kay?” Janey asked.

  “A thyme roasted prime rib sandwich. It’s delicious.”

  “Try the seafood ones,” Elizabeth said, and then proceeded to finish her tea sandwich.

  Janey took a forkful of her glazed fruit tart.

  I looked over at Deirdre’s tea sandwich and knew Janey wouldn’t care for her choice. I refocused on what the others were talking about.

  While we visited, I watched Sybil with curiosity. From time to time she would look over at the table where the couple “that she didn’t know” was sitting. At times, Sybil was so blatant in her surveillance that the woman even glanced towards us a couple of times. Phil had often said I had a suspicious nature because of my previous work, working part-time as a medical consultant for the Boulder Police Department. But I doubted that Sybil was telling the truth about not knowing the couple or at least the man. She had acknowledge him with a brief smile and I noticed the recognition in his eyes. Her husband was a creep, but she wasn’t being honest. What was the deal with her? Something felt off. Something that left a bad taste in my mouth.

  Sybil took a sip of her
tea. “That afternoon I went scuba diving and had a terrible accident.”

  Deirdre put down her goat cheese panna cotta on rye crostini. “What happened?”

  “I was down by a coral reef. I turned my head looking at a beautiful passing blue tang surgeonfish when suddenly I started taking on water. Talk about being terrified. My mouthpiece had separated.”

  Elizabeth set her cup down loudly on her saucer. “Was your husband there?”

  “Not at that moment when I couldn’t breathe. I had no idea what had happened. George, my husband’s name is George, checked the equipment before the dive and helped me put everything on.”

  Finishing her tart, Janey asked, “So what did you do?”

  “You mean after I panicked.” She gave a little laugh. “I switched to my safe second.”

  Janey crinkled her nose and reached for a scone and proceeded to slather lemon curd on it. “Safe second?”

  “I used the purge button, which was my alternate means of air. Then I surfaced and had to quit the dive. In the end, I found out that there was a fastener missing on the mouthpiece.”

  “It just wasn’t your time,” Deirdre said, and took a sip of tea.

  Sybil gave Deirdre a questioning look.

  “Is George an expert scuba diver?” Elizabeth asked.

  “Definitely. George and I met on a cruise. I was actually on a cruise with a boyfriend and he with his fiancée. We were assigned to the same table. The four of us spent a lot of time together. George and I discovered our mutual interest in scuba diving and the two of us signed up for a scuba excursion together on one of the islands. I ended up falling for George head over heels, as the saying goes. He was incredibly charming.”

  Somehow I found it difficult to imagine George being charming.

  Sybil smiled as she reminisced. She had a beautiful smile. In fact, it was the first time I had seen her really smile on this cruise, and I had definitely watched her enough at dinner.

  “So your husband knows his way around scuba equipment, yet he didn’t notice the fastener was missing when he checked out your equipment,” Janey commented, then took a bite out of her scone. “I think next time you should check your own equipment. You’re a swim coach after all.”