Paradise Can Be Murder

by Susan Bernhardt

  * * * *

  That evening, we were surprised to see George sitting at his table when we arrived in the dining room. Before we sat down, we gave George our condolences. He nodded in response.

  “George must no longer be a suspect at all,” Elizabeth said, after the waiter placed the napkin on Elizabeth’s lap.

  “You think?” Janey said.

  “Janey, show some respect,” I said quietly to her. I was getting a little tired of her mouth, and was still thinking about what to do regarding the paintings.

  “I’m certainly glad I took those photos of the murderer,” Janey said proudly.

  Deirdre smiled at her. “Definitely. Good job.”

  I watched George looking at his menu. “It’s strange that George didn’t accompany Sybil’s body.”

  “Shows how much he cared,” Elizabeth said.

  While we sat through the different courses of our dinner, several people, who I imagined were the other three couples from George’s business, came over and also offered their condolences. They didn’t stay long since the most George usually replied was, “Thank you.”

  Elizabeth, staring at him, said, “He’s no longer the man of many words without anyone to insult.”

  After dinner, Janey took off to meet with the tween club. Phil and I were walking to the show, when we passed George sitting at a bar again with a woman, talking loudly in conversation. He had a couple of mixed drinks in front of him. Must have been a two-for-one drink special.

  “You’d think he would act more sorry,” I said, “instead of hitting on a woman again this evening.”

  “You don’t know that’s what he’s doing. He might be trying to drown his sorrows. I would be devastated if you had died. I might be at that bar.”

  I tilted my head to one side. “Chatting up a woman?”

  Phil rubbed the back of his neck. “Of course not. I’d never look at another woman again. I’d probably end up joining a monastery.”

  Phil was no fool. I gave him a peck on his cheek. “I love you. There probably won’t be jazz at a monastery.”

  He put his arm around my shoulders. We entered the theatre.

  * * * *

  With Janey, Phil, Deirdre, and Mike all calling it an early night, I went with Elizabeth to another sing-a-long. We had enjoyed it so much, the first time we went.

  On the way back to our rooms, we came upon a woman wearing a floppy hat and sunglasses in the hallway unlocking her door. Her wavy, brunette hair was down to her chest. A flowery dress clung to her toned athletic body. We said, “Hello” when we came up to her. She didn’t respond. We continued to walk down the hall. The woman entered the room and the door clicked shut.

  Several doors further down, I said to Elizabeth, “I think that was the woman in Janey’s photos.”

  She stopped. “You do? Are you sure? How can you tell with the hat and sunglasses?”

  “I’m ninety percent sure. Her hair, her mouth, her attitude. Well, maybe eighty percent.”

  Just then a couple, dressed to the hilt even though it wasn’t a formal night, came out of the room next to the one where the woman had entered. The man had on a black suit and tie. The woman wore an off-the-shoulder, midnight blue, cocktail dress.

  “Hurry,” she said, playfully putting her hands on her partner’s chest. “We’ll be late to the show.” She hustled down the hallway, swerving at times in her five inch heels, going in the opposite direction from where we were. They looked like they were a few drinks into their evening. By the time they turned the corner, Elizabeth was already at their door, holding it open for me. She had gotten there before it clicked shut and locked.

  “Quick thinking,” I said. We walked past an unmade, ruffled up bed. Just as I had thought, sitting on the table by the balcony door were two opened bottles of champagne. Two empty glasses were next to the bottles. I walked around the table and started for the balcony.

  I looked back to where Elizabeth was emptying the remainder of the champagne into a glass. She looked up at me and shrugged. “No reason to let perfectly good bubbly go to waste.”

  I raised my eyebrows, not believing what I was seeing. I went out onto the balcony and tried to see into the next stateroom around the room divider. The balcony door was opened next door, but I couldn’t see into the room at all. There were rustling sounds and giggling, but I couldn’t make out any words. I tried to look through the crack in the divider.

  “I can’t see anything,” I whispered to Elizabeth who was now standing behind me.

  Elizabeth pulled up a chair and stood on it looking over the divider. “Kay,” she said quietly, “you have to see this.”

  Elizabeth got off the chair. I didn’t like heights much and worried about standing up on the chair so close to the railing of the balcony. Elizabeth assured me she would hang on to the chair securely. Drumming up every ounce of courage I had, I got up on the chair anyway. Holding on tight to the frame of the locked door dividing the room, I looked into the next room. George was in the room with the woman from Janey’s photos. They were making out on the bed. The woman’s floppy hat and sunglasses were laying on the desk.

  Just then my cellphone rang, loudly. I had the volume way up.

  “Damn!” I heard Elizabeth say.

  Surprised, I stumbled back on the chair, losing my footing for a second. Luckily, Elizabeth’s strong grip held the chair in place. Taking my cellphone out of my pocket, I nervously fumbled with it trying to turn the damn thing off. The next thing I heard was a gun being cocked and the door in the divider kicked open. The force of the door knocked me down off the chair. Looking at Elizabeth behind me, my eyes bulged wide open. I tried to say, “Hide” but my breath caught in my throat. I hoped my eyes delivered the message.

  “Get up and keep quiet,” George said menacingly. I looked up and saw such anger in his face, his eyes hardening.

  When I was taking too long, being stunned and having my leg hit the deck table, he pulled me up off the floor with his free hand. The gun was in the other.

  “What do we have here, a voyeur?” The woman’s face appeared through the doorway. Her voice was husky as if she smoked two packs a day, yet amiable. But it was the hard face, the look Janey had so perfectly described previously. She must have been mocking me because then her tone changed. “Oh, you,” she said.

  “What? No, of course not. I was trying to hit an insect up on the ceiling,” was all I could think of saying. “See.” I pointed toward the ceiling.

  “She had a friend with her out in the hall,” the woman said in an arrogant voice.

  George walked into the stateroom we had entered through and looked around for several seconds. “No one’s here.” Elizabeth either had left the room or had found a great hiding place. He pulled me across the divider into their room and shut the busted adjoining door on the balcony.

  “Looks like we’ll have to find a new room,” the woman said.

  George rocked back on his heels, then leaned in aggressively, his voice enraged. “What are we going to do with you?”

  I looked around the room and heard a knocking sound coming from the bathroom. The woman opened the door and said, “Quiet, if you know what’s good for you.” She then slammed the door and looked at me.

  My eyes squeezed shut. I could only imagine what had happened to the person in the bathroom. My head was pounding. I fought tears wanting to gush from my eyes, feeling such intense fear.

  Then I decided to play dumb. I needed to keep a cool head. Opening my eyes wide, I said, “I have no idea who you are or why George wants to make a move on another woman so soon after his wife dies, but hey, I say go for it. You can hopefully help him with his grief.”

  “Where does she fit into this?” the woman asked.

  “She knows who you are,” George said, clenching his fist. “That kid of hers had the photos of you and that’s why they had to let me go. They showed me the photos late this afternoon. I’m sure she’s seen them.”

  That damn Securi
ty, telling him that. I tried to maintain a calm voice in this most stressful situation. “I have no idea what you are talking about, George. I’m quite tired and would like to call it a night.”

  “You had to be curious. You had to snoop around.” George was quiet for a moment. “We could throw her over the balcony.” George looked in the direction of the balcony. “But someone might see us.”

  My heart was pounding so loudly, I barely heard the door in the next stateroom close. Was it Elizabeth first leaving or had she already brought back help?

  It seemed like George was enjoying this. “What? Funny, George. Believe me, it’s none of my business how you cope with your sorrow, your depression.” I backed slowly towards the door leading to the hall. “I’ll see you tomorrow at dinner.”

  George pushed me down on the bed. “You’re not going anywhere. And what’s this about depression? Are you kidding me?”

  “You told Sybil you were suicidal.”

  “Keep her quiet. I need to think,” the woman said.

  A chill went down my spine when she spoke, her voice was as cold as ice.

  “There can’t be another body found on the ship,” she added, “they’ll do a room to room search for sure.”

  They would anyway if I’m missing. I heard pounding again coming from the bathroom. At this point I knew these two would do anything to keep from being captured.

  “You silly woman. Do you think they let suicidal agents in the CIA? I’m sure my dearly departed wife also mentioned about the CIA.”

  George looked towards the door. “Listen, we are all going to go for a walk to the stern of the ship. If you call out to anyone and I mean anyone at all, on the way, we will not only kill you, but we will also kill everyone who sits at your table, including your brat of a daughter. Do you understand?”

  I nodded. I believed him. “How do you suppose you’re going to get off the ship at the end of the cruise?”

  She laughed. “Such chutzpah this insignificant woman has, asking us this question. What? Do you have experience with this?”

  “Too bad your hair is white, or we’d have used your identification card. Unfortunately, we’ll need to find someone else tomorrow night. Now do you understand me?”

  I knew by now Elizabeth had left and would be going for help. I needed to stall them. I needed to give Elizabeth more time.

  I looked at the woman. “Why did you poison Sybil?”

  The woman looked at me with an incredulous stare. “Oh, so now the truth comes out. You do know who I am. You just signed your own death certificate, lady.”

  “Or did you try to poison George?”

  She sighed. “What are you talking about?”

  “There were two very different kinds of drinks at the pool. Sybil drank the wine first and then reached for the mixed drink. The poison wasn’t in the wine. George, who was the mixed drink for?”

  I looked at George for a reaction. His lips were pursed. Whatever his thoughts were, they were tightly locked away. He looked towards his accomplice.

  “Let’s get moving,” the woman said.

  George nervously pointed his gun toward the door. “Bella, maybe just the two of us should get going.” He looked at me and gestured over the side of the balcony with his gun.

  This woman named Bella, who definitely did not take after the meaning of her name ‘beautiful’, appeared to not take his suggestion seriously. She opened the stateroom door and looked out. “It’s clear.” To me, she warned, “Remember, not one word.” She motioned to the bathroom door. “We’ll take care of her when we get back.”

  We walked down the hall to the stairs, down two flights, and out onto the promenade deck. The night air was cold. No one was out and about at this hour. I could hear the sound of the hull cutting through the water. Looking down at the black water, the white waves were crashing against the ship. We proceeded to walk towards the stern of the ship. George was walking to the left of me with his gun in my side under my arm. If anyone was out and had seen us, it would have looked like he was nonchalantly escorting me.

  While we were walking, I whispered, “What if Bella intended the poison for you?” I was grasping at straws. I needed to slow our progress and possibly plant a seed of doubt.

  He wiped the sweat off his forehead with his free hand. “You have no idea what you’re talking about. Stay quiet.” He shoved the gun harder into my side as a warning to keep moving.

  The stern of the ship was dark and it was deserted. I had never been out on the promenade deck at this late hour and was surprised the lights were out in the area. As soon as we arrived, George said, “Let’s get this over with.”

  “Do you want to jump off the boat or have us knock you out and throw you over? Your choice,” Bella said. I could barely make out her smile.

  “I’m bad at making decisions.”

  George grabbed my arm. “Get your hands off me. I’d rather throw myself off the boat than be manhandled by you. But before I go, tell me why, why did Sybil have to die?”

  “There were too many disappointments. I couldn’t stand my existence with her any longer, especially when I saw her old boyfriend on the cruise. She must have thought I was blind. And the more I thought about the scuba equipment—” He shook his head not finishing his sentence. “My partner did me a big favor.”

  His partner? “Did you never think of getting a divorce?”

  “I loved her too much to ask for a divorce. And the more I thought about it—” He shook his head. “She had to go. She was no good.”

  I spent one of my few remaining moments puzzling over that last statement. Love didn’t work that way.

  I motioned with my head at Bella. “And what about her? What was she doing on this cruise? Was this murder already planned?”

  “Enough with these questions!” Bella commanded. “Let’s get on with this.”

  I turned around and looked out at the cold, dark water again. Where was everyone?

  “Any chance for one last cigarette?”

  “I know damn well you don’t smoke, so get moving,” George said.

  I took my identification card out of my pocket and dropped it, hoping they wouldn’t notice. Then I turned back and saw Phil approaching from behind them in the lighted area. I also saw movement coming from the other direction out of the corner of my eye, but focused on Phil.

  “Kay, Kay,” he called out to me. He was almost running. “I tried calling you. You didn’t answer your phone.”

  He put his arms around me and pulled me towards him.

  “What are you doing here? How did you find me?”

  I heard the woman say quietly to George, “Now we have two of them to get rid of.”

  “On the GPS of your cellphone. I wanted to know if you’d like to go to the bar for a nightcap.”

  He turned to George. “Good evening, George. What are you all doing out here?”

  “Leave, Phil,” I said. “I’m not interested in a drink.”

  George placed his gun in Phil’s side.

  Phil jerked and looked at his side, then over to George. “What’s going on here?”

  From the other direction came several men from Security including the uniformed man I saw get on the ship earlier in the day. John was leading the pack, their guns drawn. I saw Elizabeth trailing behind in the back of the group. I called out, “George has a gun!”

  Bella tried to get up on the railing to jump, but was quickly dragged to the deck by two security men. She screamed and screamed until finally they had to put tape over her mouth to avoid waking the whole ship. All the while, George just stood there, looking stunned as though he had finally reached the end of an arduous and unpleasant journey. Relief was the best way to describe it.

  Then George exclaimed, “Thank goodness, you’re here. This woman is crazy.” He pointed at me. “She’s accusing me of an unthinkable crime. Killing my own dear wife.”

  George was no longer holding a gun. I bet in the commotion he had thrown it overboard.


  The two of them were taken into custody and handcuffed. I heard a phone ring. John answered.

  “Better check his pockets. He had a gun,” I said to the other security personnel.

  George motioned with his fingers. “See what I mean. She’s crazy. Loco.”

  John looked between me and George.

  “There’s someone being held captive in the bathroom on the Baja Deck Room B418,” I quickly said. “You’d better check on them.”

  “She’s been seen to and is on her way to Medical as we speak,” John said.

  Security must have checked the room out when Elizabeth told them where I was being held.

  George grimaced and looked over at Bella. She returned a wild-eyed stare.

  The two were led away, Bella kicking the guards and walls amid muffled cries as George was led peacefully behind. As I watched George retreat, his manner reminded me of a much older, vulnerable man, stripped of power and position.

  I fell back into Phil’s arms, and he held me tight. Elizabeth put her arms around my back. We stood like this for a while.

  Gaining some degree of composure, I gave a detailed account of the evening’s events, including everything I knew about the crimes that had been committed. Then the three of us headed back to our rooms. During the security debriefing, I learned that Elizabeth had gone straight to Phil, where they called Security. By the time Elizabeth and Phil returned to the room, it was empty. There wasn’t any mention of noises coming from the bathroom. I couldn’t believe Phil found me by using my phone. I had insisted on getting these new smartphones, and installed the app on both, so that I would be able to locate Phil while on the ship. Thank goodness I did, and thank goodness Phil had been able to use it to locate me. The app saved my life. Phil saved my life. Elizabeth saved my life. Before entering our room, I thanked Elizabeth profusely.

  “What’s going on?” Janey said, rubbing her eyes when we entered the room. “I heard you talking to Elizabeth.”

  I’d wait until morning to explain.