Your Forever: The Eight of Wands

by Jenna Jones

  Most of the pictures were of Jeff and Marianne, of course, from their life together as well as before they met. Several of these had been taken out of their frames to be used as decorations at the wedding reception on Saturday. The ones that remained were of the restaurant staff over the years, or family and friends at various parties and events.

  There was only one of Jeff and Theo together. Theo looked about five, which would put Jeff at twenty-one, and while the two of them stood beside each other there was at least six inches between them. Del knew from what Jeff had told him before that they’d never spent much time together when Theo was a child, and then after their father died, Theo’s mother moved back to her hometown in Texas. There had been little contact between the two brothers until recently, and Del had the impression it was mostly due to Marianne.

  Del tucked the guitar case under his arm and followed the sound of conversation to the kitchen. All four of Marianne’s sisters, her mother, Jeff, and Theo were there, the sisters hot-gluing and stitching and assembling, while Jeff had been drafted into holding a bridesmaid dress so Mrs. Bodie could check the hem. To Del’s surprise Theo was sitting cross-legged on the floor with Jesse on his knee. The baby chattered away happily to him, most of the words unintelligible to Del, but Theo seemed to understand just fine. Jesse was unmistakably Jeff’s child, with big dark eyes and unruly dark hair, and Del could see some family resemblance between Jesse and Theo, too, in the length of their limbs -- Jesse was going to be at least as tall as his father -- and the shape of their mouths.

  Del stopped at Jeff’s side. “Found the guitar.”

  “Thanks,” Jeff said, looking perfectly comfortable with a satin dress pinned to his shoulders. “The best man, ladies, taking care of business,” he said, and Marianne’s sisters beamed at him with approval. “We should get out of your hair.”

  “Looks like you’ve got --” Del glanced around the kitchen. Every surface was covered with wedding favors and decorations in various states of assembly. “Lots to do,” he finished, and Marianne came over to kiss his cheek.

  “Take good care of my sweetheart,” she said, and at that Jeff swept her into his arms and bent her back for a kiss.

  “I’m counting the hours, babe,” he said when he brought her upright, and Marianne laughed, blushing. Jesse and Theo both watched this with wide eyes, and Theo looked at Del, shy again. Del smiled uncertainly and looked away while Jesse laughed and pointed at his parents.

  “Mommy and Daddy are silly,” Theo interpreted, and Jeff let go of Marianne to scoop up Jesse again and toss him in the air. Jesse shrieked with delight.

  «Give Daddy kisses,» Jeff said and Jesse gave him a kiss and patted his cheeks with both hands. «Be good for Mommy and Grandma, okay?»

  «Okay,» said Jesse, head bobbing. Jeff held him close for a moment and then gave him to Marianne. Del looked at Theo again -- the younger man was smiling quietly, and when his eyes met Del's his smile widened. He stood and joined Del to take the guitar case.

  «Thanks. I got distracted.» He added, his tone a mix of wonder and pride, «With my nephew.»

  Del wanted to pat his cheek for being so entranced with Jesse, but he just said, «No problem. Ready to go, Jeff?» he added more loudly, and Jeff nodded, looking reluctant. He gave Marianne one more hug and kiss, and Del led them out to the truck. “Now that you’ve met the family,” Del said to Theo, “what do you think?”

  “That’s a lot of sisters,” Theo said, looking a little stunned. “Jesse’s awesome, though.”

  Jeff chuckled as he unlocked the passenger door. “He’s two. He’s a bit young for ‘awesome.’”

  “Well, he is,” Theo mumbled, and Del gave his back a quick pat before climbing into the cab again.

  Del’s little house, dark blue and snug, waited for them amid a cluster of firs and rosebushes. Theo insisted on carrying his bag and the guitar case inside so Jeff let him. Del followed so he could watch them. They were not comfortable with each other, that much was obvious. As Del saw it, Theo wanted to love his brother but didn’t quite know how, and Jeff hadn’t noticed how Theo was trying to connect with him.

  If Theo was more comfortable with children, no wonder he’d gravitated to Jesse when surrounded by all those strangers. Del suddenly wished he’d stayed in the kitchen and helped Theo adjust. Marianne’s sisters could be intimidating, particularly in a pack like that.

  Pointing down the hall, he said to Theo, “You can put your stuff in the bathroom. Do you need anything to eat?”

  “Yeah, please, I’m starving.” Theo put the guitar by the sofa where he’d be sleeping and carried his bag to the bathroom.

  “I thought I’d whip together some omelets,” Del said to Jeff, who nodded, looking miserable. Del put his hand on Jeff's shoulder. “Hey. Tonight and tomorrow night, and then you’ll be married and all this nonsense will be over.”

  “I miss them,” Jeff said. “I know the wedding is Marianne’s dream and she’s been waiting a long time for this, but I just want to get back to normal life.”

  “Soon,” Del said and squeezed Jeff’s shoulder. Theo came into the kitchen then, and his face did a strange little twist before he threw himself onto one of the chairs at Del’s little table. “How about an omelet, Theo?”

  “Sure,” Theo said. “How can I help?”

  “You can grate the cheese.” Del got out a block of cheddar, a bowl and the grater, and gave them to Theo. He took out a carton of eggs and a pan as Theo started grating, and Jeff pushed himself up from the table.

  “What else? If we had time I’d make some hollandaise, but it’s a bit late at night for that.”

  “I think I have bacon.” Del rooted in his fridge and gave the package he found to Jeff. “Fry that up and I’ll add it to the eggs.”

  «This will be delicious,” Theo said. “You know, Jeff, I don’t think I ever heard how you and Marianne met.”

  Jeff glanced at him. “She worked for me at the restaurant.”

  “Yeah? And then what?”

  “And then we started dating.”

  Del sighed as he whipped the eggs with a fork. “She was pretty young when you first met, right? Fresh out of high school, when you first hired her?”

  “Yup.” Jeff pushed the sizzling bacon around the pan with a spatula, and Del wondered if Jeff honestly didn’t feel like talking about it right now or he just didn’t want to talk to Theo.

  “That was before my time,” Del told Theo, and then paused while he poured the first part of the eggs into the pan. “They’d been together for years by the time I met them.”

  “I can’t even imagine being with someone for fifteen years,” Theo said.

  “Neither can I,” Del said.

  “I was eleven. Jeff and Marianne have been together longer than half my life.”

  “They’ve been together for half of mine.”

  Jeff cleared his throat. “You both are making me feel old. Stop it.”

  “You are old,” Del said and punched his arm.

  “Careful,” Jeff said, waving the spatula at him, “I have utensils and I know how to use them.”

  Del pointed to the pan. “Don’t let the bacon burn while you’re getting your macho on.”

  Theo stood to give Del the plate of grated cheese. He wrapped what remained of the block in plastic and put it in the fridge, and then put the grater into the sink. “What else can I do?”

  “Just relax,” said Del. “These will be ready soon.” He sprinkled cheese onto the eggs, and followed it with some crumbled pieces of bacon from Jeff’s pan.

  Theo sat at the table again, then got up. “Sorry. I’ve been sitting all day. I guess I’m restless.”

  “The rosebushes could use some trimming,” Jeff said. “If you need to expend some energy.”

  “You don’t need to trim my rosebushes,” Del said, rolling his eyes, and took a plate from the cupboard. He slid the omelet onto it carefully -- he’d learned amazing things about cooking between knowing Jeff and datin
g a chef -- and handed it to Theo. “Eat.”

  “Thanks.” Theo inhaled the scent with a rapturous expression and sat at the table to eat.

  “You’re spoiling him,” Jeff said as Del poured more eggs into the pan.

  “You heard the boy. He’s starving.” He looked at Theo, who was eating happily.

  Jeff looked, too. “I don’t know. He looks pretty sturdy to me.”

  Theo wiped his mouth and said, “My stomach was on the verge of growling. Del saved me from certain embarrassment.”

  “He’s pretty good at that.”

  Del shook his head, sprinkling on cheese and bits of bacon, and folded the omelet over. “Eat this,” he said once he’d slid the omelet onto a plate for Jeff. “Stop talking about me.”

  “Yes, Del. Thank you, Del,” Jeff said in a dutiful tone and sat at the table, too.

  Del started an omelet for himself and tried to watch Theo and Jeff without their noticing. They both bent over their plates, concentrating on eating rather than looking at each other, and both their legs were long enough to stick out under the opposite sides of the little table. They both looked up, startled, when Del put his plate on the table.

  “So,” he said and picked up his fork. “What do you do aside from forming the minds of small children?”

  Theo swallowed whatever was in his mouth. “Oh, you know. The music scene in Austin is pretty cool, so I go to clubs a couple times a week. And, you know, date, hang out. All the usual stuff.”

  “You’re into music?”

  Theo nodded, head bent over his plate again. “I like it a lot. I like singing.”

  “Could have done it for a living if you’d just focused,” Jeff said, and Theo looked at him through his shaggy bangs.

  “I don’t want to do it for a living.”

  “No,” Jeff said, “you want to teach kids all your life.”

  “And you want to run a restaurant and write cookbooks all your life,” Theo said evenly. “What’s your point?”

  “My point,” said Jeff in the same even tone as Theo, “is that you could do better.”

  “And my point is that I’m doing fine. I’m happy and I’m good at what I do.”

  “I bet you’re great at it,” Del said, and Theo gave him a small smile of thanks.

  Jeff sighed and finished off his omelet with a few big bites and stood. “I’ll clean up.” Theo handed Jeff his plate, and Del finished his omelet quickly to hand over his. Jeff took them to the sink to rinse them off and put them into the dishwasher.

  “I should practice,” Theo said and went into the living room to get the guitar. “Is it okay if I play outside? Will it bother your neighbors?”

  “No,” Del said and got up to help with the washing up. “Mrs. Stevens is the closest one and she’s hard of hearing.”

  “I’ll keep it down anyway. It’s only polite.” Theo picked up the guitar and went out the back door to the porch.

  “That,” said Jeff as he stacked the pans in the washer, “is what our fights are like now. I guess it's better than yelling and punching each other.”

  “It’s obvious he loves teaching and he’s good with kids,” Del said and hauled himself up onto the counter. “You didn’t need to say anything about the music. I wanted to hear more about his school.”

  “He could have gone to Berklee Conservatory,” Jeff said. “He’s got the talent.”

  “But he went to another school and got a teaching degree and is happy.”

  “Hey,” Jeff said, frowning, “I thought you were on my side.”

  “I am on your side, which is why I’m pointing out what an idiot you’re being. If you’re trying to be his dad, don’t. You’re not his dad. And if you’re trying to be a good, older brother, don’t go about it like this. The guy’s twenty-six, not eight.»

  Jeff rolled his eyes. “I’m going to bed. What time are we getting up tomorrow?”

  “Early. Set your alarm for four.” Jeff waved good night and went into the guest room, and Del went out onto the porch to keep Theo company.

  The younger man had perched himself on the porch swing, his long legs crossed, the guitar resting on his thigh. Del recognized the tune Theo was softly playing, and he joined him at the other end of the swing to listen.

  Theo didn’t stop playing when he said, “I don’t think he wanted me to come.”

  “He did,” Del said. “He does. He wants you here. You’re the only family he’s got, aside from his mom and some frail great-uncles.”

  “He’ll have a lot more after Sunday, with all those sisters of Marianne’s.”

  “In-laws,” Del said. “It’s not the same, really. It’s not like blood.”

  “Do you have brothers?” Theo looked up at him.

  “Two. And a sister. I know how brothers can be, especially older ones.”

  Theo shook his head. “I bet neither of them were teenagers when you were born.”

  “Well, no,” Del said. “We’re all about three years apart.”

  “See, I didn’t even know Jeff was my brother until I was about five,” Theo said, and stopped playing to hang his arms over the side of the guitar. “Before that I thought he was just someone who knew my dad. And then I figured it out when I realized Dad’s name wasn’t Dad, and Jeff called him that because Dad was actually his dad.” He shook his head. “But see, he still thinks I’m that six-year-old kid who doesn’t understand the world.”

  “I think he knows you’re an adult, Theo,” Del said gently.

  “Then how come he was talking to me like I haven’t already decided on a career? For God’s sake, if I wanted to be a singer I’d be a singer. But I wanted to teach, so I’m teaching. And I love it. And if it gives me the opportunity to sing sometimes, that’s okay, but I’m doing important stuff there.” He stopped and let out a deep breath, and put the guitar aside. “Sorry. I’m pissed off now.”

  Del reached over to rub Theo’s back. It was tense under his palm for a moment or two, and then Theo sighed and relaxed, hanging his arms on his knees and letting his head droop.

  “That feels good,” Theo murmured.

  “Good,” Del said softly and moved up his hand to rub the back of Theo’s neck. He was tense there as well, so Del dug in his fingers, massaging him deeply.

  “You’re good at this.”

  “This is what I do,” Del said, smiling a little. “I help people feel better.”

  Theo practically moaned and Del paused. He usually found it easy to keep his professionalism, but he usually wasn’t massaging a patient on his back porch in the dark while crickets chirped and wind made the pines rustle. He brushed his hand down Theo’s back and then took his hand away.

  “Thanks,” Theo said and straightened up. “That helped. It did.”

  “Good.” He smiled at Theo, trying to keep it light. “So, tomorrow. There’s the fishing trip in the morning, and then we’ll drive up to the lodge, and that night there’s the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, and then the wedding is Saturday night at eight.”

  “I don’t think I should go to all of that,” Theo said after a pause. “It’ll be all Jeff’s friends at the bachelor party. If it’s okay I could just stay here and play guitar and watch TV and stuff.”

  “Okay. You will come to the rehearsal and dinner, right?”

  Theo shrugged a shoulder. “I only brought one suit.”

  “It’s informal,” said Del. “You could wear what you’re wearing now. You look pretty good.” It was just a striped button-down Oxford and chinos, but they fit his lanky frame perfectly and brought out the green in his hazel eyes.

  Theo looked down at himself with a muttered, “Thanks.” He looked back up at Del. “What has Jeff told you about me?”

  “Not much,” Del said. “That you were forgetful as a kid.”

  “Flaky, you mean,” Theo said. “It’s okay. I know.”

  “Absent-minded,” Del said. “But creative people tend to be, I’ve found. They’ve got other things to think about than if th
ey remembered the milk. And you must do okay with the kids, so you can’t be as terribly flaky as Jeff thinks you are.”

  “Yeah, I do okay.” He stretched his neck from side to side. “He’s never thought much of me, you know. It’s my fault his parents divorced so Dad could marry my mom.”

  “Being born is never the kid’s fault,” Del said, surprised that Theo would be so cavalier about the circumstances of his birth. “Your parents made a choice and you were the result.”

  “Jeff thinks it’s my fault. He said so at my dad’s funeral. Our dad’s.” He looked down at his heavy work boot as it scuffed along the porch floorboards. “And my mom wasn’t a slut, either, no matter what Jeff thinks.”

  “Jesus,” Del murmured and closed his eyes. “He doesn’t really think that.”

  “Maybe not anymore, but he used to. He called her that to her face at the funeral. I mean, I get how grief makes people crazy, but she still hasn’t forgiven him for that.”

  “Yeah,” Del said. “I think he knows that’s why she’s not here.”

  “Yeah. But it wasn’t like a boss screwing his secretary out of boredom, you know? I mean, she was his boss, for one thing, and it takes two to commit adultery. Nobody was a saint in this.”

  “I know,” Del said. He made the swing sway with his foot as the wind softly blew through his hair and over his face. Wind chimes rang from his neighbor’s back yard. “Relationships end for all kinds of reasons. That’s what sucks about them. They never last.”

  “Sometimes they do,” Theo said, looking up at Del, shaggy bangs almost but not quite long enough to hide his eyes. “Sometimes they last forever. Look at Jeff and Marianne.”

  “Their forever is just getting started. The odds are good for them, though. They’ve already had fifteen years of practice. They’ve already found everything they want in another person.” He paused. They'd barely met, but in his experience it was usually easier to confess to strangers than to friends. “I used to date one of Jeff’s chefs, but then he left me. We’re still friends, mostly, and he still works at the restaurant. He’s going to be at the bachelor party and he’s bringing his new boyfriend to the wedding. But sometimes -- I can’t help it -- I wonder what this new guy has that I didn’t, because as far as I can tell, the answer’s ‘not much.’”