The Lucky Dress: A perfect feel good holiday romance for summer 2018

by Aimee Brown

  He walks over and kneels down in front of me, taking both of my hands in his, and looking up at me through tears he’s better at controlling. “You have a real family Emi… I’m so sorry I hurt you. If I could take it back, you have to know that I would. Never in a million years would I ever want to be the person who did this to you and to know that I am, kills me inside. I’ll do anything for a chance to show you how much you still mean to me. How much you’ve always meant to me.”

  I nod, carefully pulling a hand from his to wipe away the tears now sliding down my cheek. If I knew what to say, I’d say something.

  “I’m not asking for you to forget everything and take me back. All I want is for you to know how important you are to me and how incredibly sorry I am.”

  “I forgive you, Jack. I don’t hate you anymore. I don’t know what I feel, actually,” I shrug my shoulders.

  I might not know exactly what I feel, but it’s not what I felt yesterday, last month, or even the day I walked away. I didn’t think a face-to-face heartfelt apology would stir up all the feelings I’ve ever had for him, but it did. It’s clouding up my head and my heart, so much that I can hardly see through it enough to even consider how I feel, let alone tell him.

  “I get it,” he says with a half defeated frown. “I’ll always listen when you’re ready to talk about it, if you ever are.”

  I nod again, forcing a small smile as a thank you. He squeezes my hand still in his and returns my smile, as he stands. “You know what hurt the most last night?” he asks as he walks back to the windows.

  “Her wearing my engagement ring?” I ask without even thinking.

  Jack turns to me with a smile, “That was quite the shock. How exactly did she plan to break the news to me? Was that her announcement plan? To make a toast to the whole room, me included, that we were suddenly engaged?” a nervous laugh escapes him.

  “It’s Greta…” I remind him. “She’s capable of anything.”

  “Yeah,” he nods. “Thing is, my mom knew the Madison story and she kept it quiet. Why? She could have cleared all this up before the wedding and she didn’t. Why not?”

  “I don’t know… Maybe she didn’t really put it all together until last night?” I love Amelia like my own mother but I know how secretive and vindictive she can be when she wants. Not to me, or her own children, but to someone like Greta. I wouldn’t be surprised if she had put it all together and was just waiting for the right moment, pouncing when Greta would least expect it.

  He starts pacing again, stopping near the wall of windows still shaded by the curtains. “Can I ask you something now?” he asks without turning to face me.

  “Sure.”

  “You and the bartender, is it romantic?”

  “Romantic?” I ask, knowing full well it’s not. “No,” I shake my head, almost ashamed that I even tried to trick him. If I didn’t already know that he did the exact same thing, this might be harder to explain.

  “Why’d you bring him?”

  I throw my hands out, “The same reason why you told Hannah that Greta was your girlfriend… Because I’m single in couple land and even my ex had supposedly gotten over me. With my arch-enemy, I might add. I mean, come on, how pathetic was I, still clinging on to someone who tore out my heart, so badly that I relocated thousands of miles from him so I could try and get on with my life. Then, when I finally see him again, I see parts of the guy I knew but parts of a guy I didn’t. A guy who’d clearly moved on without me.”

  Jacks face drops from irritation to shame and he makes his way back to the side of the bed.

  “That’s the furthest thing from the truth,” he hesitantly lays his hand on mine.

  “Then what is the truth, Jack?”

  “I’ve never moved on from you. I think about you every day, but I didn’t want to crowd you. I don’t own you, and if you don’t want to be with me, I wasn’t going to force that. I wanted you to have space and discover who you were and how you felt without me constantly reminding you of the past. I didn’t want to chance hurting you again.” His chin quivers slightly before he pulls himself together. “When I saw that guy kiss you the other night,” He shakes his head, obviously a bit distraught by the memory. “I knew exactly what you must have felt when you found me with Madison that day. No matter what it was, I’m sorry you had to see that.”

  “I don’t know if we can go back to the way things were. I don’t know if I can ever get that moment out of my head. There is too much…” I motion between us and he nods. “I’ve made a life for myself in Dallas. I’m happy.”

  Am I, though? I’ve been suppressing my real feelings for a year, eating them away, hiding them from my best friends and family. I’ve been so nervous about even just the possibility of this exact conversation that I’ve stressed myself out for weeks in preparation. All the secrets that have come out and his apology has me rethinking everything.

  Jack nods, forcing a smile as he stands from the bed. “That’s all I ever wanted for you.”

  He makes his way to the bedroom door slowly before stopping and turning back to me. The light now trying to shine through the curtains reflects on his face, reminding me how good looking he is even when he hasn’t slept all night.

  “I know I’ve got no place in your life right now. And I get why you needed to leave. Please just remember that if there is any chance for me to fix what’s been done, I will.”

  A tear slides down my cheek, again. I literally have no words but I can feel the emotion quickly surfacing again and I’d rather he didn’t witness it because I don’t know what I feel at this point. I don’t know if I’m crying because I lost him, I miss him, or just the overwhelming knowledge of finding out all the truths at once.

  “I mean it, Ems, I’ll do anything. I know you’re not ready right now, and maybe you never will be, but if you are, one day, I’ll do my best to make sure you know how perfect it could be, again. Just please don’t push me away anymore.”

  “He, Ems… wanna go get—” Lily walks into my room, still in her pajamas, stopping midway through the door just a few inches from Jack. “Oh… I didn’t mean to interrupt.” She flashes a hopeful smile my way, “I’ll just come back later.”

  We both watch her back out of the room, closing the door behind her.

  “I don’t know what to say.” I shrug my shoulders. I can’t tell him the feelings racing through me right now because there are so many that I can’t sort them through.

  He nods, forcing a small smile. “I’ll always be around for you,” he reaches down pulling my hand to his lips as I nod.

  When he turns to walk away I catch a hesitant and sad forced smile that screams how much pain he’s in. A real one that stabs me right in the chest.

  “Jack?” I stand from the bed, taking a step towards him.

  He turns, his hand still on the doorknob.

  “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry I’ve shut you out. I’m sorry I’m so stubborn. I’m sorry I didn’t believe you. I’m sorry I’ve pushed you away for an entire year. And I’m sorry I’m always so suspicious of things, you know, like the time I broke into your apartment…” I roll my eyes at myself. That was so pathetically immature of me.

  He laughs under his breath.

  “I don’t mean to be like that, I just…” I walk towards him. “I’ve lost so much in my life and I never wanted to lose you, to lose us.”

  The growing smile on his face finally reaches all the way to his eyes as he walks in my direction. He slides an arm around my waist, pulling me against him without hesitation, pressing his lips to mine in a kiss that starts out almost innocent before it turns desperate. Let’s just say, I don’t fight it. Is there a better way to work out feelings than physically? Apparently in my case the answer is no.

  *

  “You slept with him?” Lily spurts out coffee across the table, her voice high and weird, gaining the attention of the entire Starbucks.

  “In my defense, it wasn’t my fault.”

  �
�How is that a defense?”

  “I don’t know.” I sip my coffee, hoping she’ll end the interview about my drama.

  “So, what does it mean? Are you getting back together?”

  “I don’t think so… I don’t know what I feel yet. I need to think about things.”

  “And…?”

  “It’s only been two hours!”

  “You. Slept. With. Him.” Lily jabs it out like strokes on a typewriter. “I think you gave him your answer.”

  “No… That was just…” What was it? “Old feelings working themselves out, like unfinished business.”

  “Unfinished screwing?” She laughs, rolling her eyes. “You’re crazy. You know you just made this whole thing worse?”

  “How? We’re both adults. He’s as guilty as I am. It’s not like when we were finished I allowed him to slip the engagement ring back on my finger. We have an unspoken understanding. I just need some time to work out my feelings.”

  “Do you want to get back with Jack?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe…?”

  It feels good to say it out loud. Now that I know the truth about everything that happened that day, it’s easier for me to imagine myself with Jack again. It’s a lot easier not to hate him too. But at the same time, I now live in Dallas. And I like it there. I’ve built my own life, my own success. Which is something I didn’t have much of here.

  “You’re seriously considering this?” she asks.

  “Who wouldn’t? Jack and I have history, we were nearly married. I owe it to myself to at least consider how I feel.”

  “What about Liam?”

  “Liam was a distraction and kind of a decoy. Plus, we only just met and like I’ve told you a thousand times before, it was just a favor, that’s all. I don’t even know what’s going to happen with Jack and me. I might not know for a while.”

  Lily grins. “I know someone who would know, Aunt Maggie.”

  “No, we’re not going to visit Maggie and her crystal ball. You promised me the last time was senior prom, when she predicted that I would be voted prom queen, and that didn’t exactly work out like I thought it would. It’s so weird.”

  “Worked out for me… she was only one person off.” Lily winks, obviously thinking back to her short prom queen reign. “So it’s a little weird, everyone needs a little weird in their life now and then. And you know she’s always right. Remember at the engagement party, when she predicted that you and Jack would overcome a trial? Maybe this is it. Come on…” Lily begs. “We used to love visiting Maggie for insights into our futures when we were young! One more reading won’t kill us and I’m sure she’d be thrilled to see you. Maybe it will even help with your decision.”

  I tap my nails on the table while I bite my lip nervously. When you’re twelve, a supposed psychic in the family is a fun party game. When you’re thirty, it loses its sparkle.

  “Fine, but you have to promise you won’t let this get out of hand.”

  “Cross my heart and hope to die,” Lily says as she does the actual movement with a giggle.

  The drive across town takes a lot less time than I remember it taking, and when we pull up at Aunt Maggie’s old run down Sears kit craftsman home, she’s in the front yard clipping flowers.

  “Oh! She squeals as we get to the gate. “Emi! You came to visit, you darling girl you, and you brought Lily! Wasn’t the wedding just beautiful?”

  “It was,” I nod.

  She motions us through the gate and up the porch stairs. “Wow! I haven’t seen you girls together on my porch in years.”

  “Aunt Maggie,” Lily says as she wraps an arm around Maggie’s shoulders, “we need some advice.”

  “We?” I ask her, unaware that this would be a double reading.

  “Of course, we,” Maggie says, patting Lily’s hand. “I have lots of advice as you girls well know. Come on in and I’ll get us some coffee, cookies, and advice.”

  We follow Maggie into her cluttered living room that hasn’t changed since I was ten years old. An entire wall is full of books of every age and color of binding. Old toys from her childhood line the shelves in front of the books. Photos both in color and monochrome adorn the walls from floor to ceiling.

  One of my favorite things about coming here was hearing the stories behind the photos. Not knowing my own birth family always had me so interested to know about everyone else’s. Such adventure silently sits in a photograph. One shelf, in particular, holds photos of her with her childhood friend, Relia, and my mother. She always told me that Relia stood out in the photo because her name meant gold, so she shimmered in the light as if she was made from it. The crystal ball she treasures is in the center of the shelf, glimmering in the sunlight just like it’s made of gold.

  “I have your favorites, srdieckas made with raspberry jam. You still love those, right?”

  I glance down at the heart shaped cookies with their gooey centers, and for a moment I’m a child again. I always felt like a trip to Maggie’s was a trip to another world. It was like walking into a storybook and I never left disappointed.

  “I do.” I reach down for one, hoping they are as good as I remember.

  “Aunt Maggie, Emi is wondering what you see for her and Jack in the future?”

  “Listen, sweet girl. First, you have a question for yourself.”

  I turn towards the couch they’re sitting on, suddenly interested in the reading not even meant for me.

  “So, it is a double reading…” I laugh. “And what exactly are you wanting to be enlightened on?”

  Lily grins nervously before finally letting out a sigh surrounded by a giggle.

  “OK, so, you know how I always have insisted I do not want children?”

  “Yup.”

  “Josh and I may have changed our minds. We’ve been trying but nothing has been happening so we have an appointment next week with a fertility doctor.”

  My mouth drops open. “And when were you planning on telling me? In the delivery room?”

  She shrugs her shoulders, “I don’t know, we hadn’t really nailed down all the details yet.”

  “You won’t need the specialty doctor…” Maggie pats Lily’s thigh. “Sometimes things happen when we least expect them and I see that for you and Josh. You’re about to enter a new phase of life and it’s going to be just beautiful.”

  Lily tears up as she hugs Maggie. If there was ever a way to make my own question seem less than important this is it. Here’s my best friend, the one girl who once applauded a restaurant implementing a no children policy and her heart is set on having her own baby.

  “Congratulations, early, I guess,” I say, when Lily finally stops crying.

  “Thanks,” she smiles.

  “Now for you,” Maggie stands, walking me across the room to the windows facing the backyard. “Jack is an amazing man. You know this. But, you’ve built a life you love and it would be wrong to give it all up for a man. He’s about to get some news, maybe truthful, maybe not, that could complicate things further but I want you to stand strong in exploring your feelings and what you want. If it’s meant to be, it will be.” She walks back across the room and takes a cup of coffee from the tray she carried in earlier, taking a sip.

  “What does that even mean?”

  “You will know when the time is right. Patience is a virtue, Emi, and sometimes surprises aren’t bad things.”

  I look over at Lily with a half glare. “You know in high school when we’d get these vague messages it was exciting to find the clues leading up to the so called events. But now… it’s really just kind of pissing me off.” I take three more cookies off the tray.

  “Don’t stress over this, Emi. You need to do nothing to find the ways of your heart. It will come to you this time.” Maggie smiles before wrapping her arms around me in a huge hug. “Your mother is so proud of you. She just can’t wait.”

  “Wait for what?”

  “Your future.”

  “Which is?”

&nb
sp; “For your heart to decide.” Maggie winks, knowing I hate this game. There is a reason I don’t spend a lot of time with Aunt Maggie. I adore her, but I don’t adore the cryptic messages she finds such fun to give out.

  “You remember,” Maggie says as we walk to the car. “You call me with anything, understood?”

  “Understood,” I nod.

  *

  “Who is here?” I ask, noticing a few extra cars in the driveway as we pull into Evan’s.

  “I don’t know, maybe they’re having a honeymoon going away party.” Lily laughs. “I wouldn’t put it past Hannah. You know how she loves the spotlight all the time.”

  “Isn’t that the truth?” I sigh.

  We walk in the front door to Evan, Josh, and Hannah all sitting on the stairs together, heads cocked, and quietly listening to the commotion coming from a floor above them.

  “What’s going on?” As soon as the words leave my mouth, I hear screeching from a room upstairs.

  “Greta…” they say in unison.

  “She’s here?”

  “For the last hour. She brought Amelia and her father.”

  “Why? Are they going to tie Jack down and make him date her?” I laugh, but honestly can kind of picture it.

  “Um…” Hannah’s nervous smile through clenched teeth tells me that whatever it is, it’s bad. “I’m not sure yet.” She cranes her neck, trying to hear the voices upstairs better.

  “You guys are sitting here to eavesdrop?” Lily asks.

  “Obviously,” Hannah rolls her eyes.

  “Well… spill it.”

  “I… uh…” Hannah shrugs her shoulders. “I’m not quite sure yet. I’ve heard ‘Greta isn’t the person she once was, she truly loves Jack and that Jack owes it to her as a man’, and—”

  “That’s all so far.” Evan butts in, squeezing Hannah’s hand.

  I can tell that’s not all.

  “Josh… You should help me in the kitchen,” Lily says, winking at me, before wandering off towards the kitchen. Clearly, she wants to let him in on Maggie’s big revelation.

  “You guys are all weird.” I start up the stairs to drop my bag in my bedroom, but only get a few steps from the top, when the door down the landing swings open violently, hitting the wall behind it and causing something inside to crash to the floor.